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Pokécharms

Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
I can't imagine what I'm going through and I'm living through these emotions. I feel kind of numb. It's a... Hopefully once in a lifetime thing that I hope nobody goes through.
Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
Because while family is important and I will never say they are any less important than material things, it is still soul crushing to leave the things you have worked hard for behind and then to come back from nothing is... Painful. It's like going through a grieving process for your items that not only are expensive, but are also sentimental.
Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
This moment is like living in trepidation of the unknown; of the future that is so uncertain; of not knowing what you'll do or what you'll feel when the unthinkable happens, and yet you have tried to think of it. It is living in constant fear and anxiety, letting your paranoia get a hold of you and warp you into a depressed, anxious mess.
Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
And yet, you can't let your family know you are breaking down, so you stand strong for them and be each other's rock, even though you all know, without saying a word to each other, that you are all freaking out on the inside and if you could just wish it all away, you could.
Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
Many towns and buildings have burned down and I don't know what those people felt like. The only experience I can get close to is having to be moved from my house in McMinnville because my family had to be evicted due to the landlady coming in and wanting her house back.
Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
While we gave the house to her (it was technically my mom's house, but my family was living in it at the time), I lived at that house since 2006, and it crushed me a week before the move and the week after the move. The memories of and the pain of moving on is painful. I would rather go through child birth than go through the unspeakable pain of having to let everything go as it is ripped away from me.
Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
Sometimes, I wonder what I did wrong to deserve this obstacle. I know Portland is a war zone at the moment due to all this political backlash, but did everybody else have to suffer for their crimes/sins? Sometimes I wish Portland would burn down like all the homes and families who have lost their careers and livelihoods to the fires, but that wouldn't make anything better.
Merciless Medic
Merciless Medic
While many crack heads and other unsavory types live in Portland, other people like honest people trying to make an honest day's living would be in the crossfire too.

God, I hate emotions. XD
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