Ask to Join Four Fourteen (Homestuck RP) STILL ACCEPTING!

Spachino · May 5, 2019

DISCUSSION THREAD & SIGNUPS --->https://pokecharms.com/threads/four-fourteen-homestuck-discussion-rp.20824/#post-752972

It was 4/14, 2009, and 4 kids are about to be obliterated if they don't play a game. What will they do?
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It was yellow. Jace has dreamt about yellow all his life, though he didn't know why. Probably another lucid dream, he thought. He knew he could fly, and flew to another tower, seeing another person in yellow pajama's, like his, sleeping. Jace never knew who this was, a figment of his imagination, perhaps? He stared at the sleeping body for a couple of minutes, until... BOOM! "What the heck was that?!" Jace yelled in surprise and leaped up to his window and saw that there was a crater in the ground, and a meteor in it. "I better tell this to the others..." He muttered to notice that there was a lot of craters where houses were. He wandered over to his computer and logged onto Pesterchum, to see that one of his chums, glacialChamp was online.

-- elatedPopsicle [EP] began pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 9:32 --
EP: hey dude, a meteor just destroyed a house, i think
EP: not gonna lie we're all gonna die i think?
EP: well, besides that i just got sburb yesterday from the local game store at the mall
EP: too much info haha
EP: i think you got that game as well, you told me 2 days ago lol
EP: i have the server and client discs, and im gonna be your server player, we agreed on it!
EP: who cares what gamebro thinks, we're gonna have fun dangit

CriticalMaster · May 5, 2019

Brandon was chilling in his room, eating potato chips when he got a message from elatedPopsicle. "Not now.." he muttered while walking to his computer, he opened up his computer and went onto pesterchum and logged in to his account.

GC: i do have the game but the problem is that i only have the server disc.
GC: i totally didn't lose it.
GC: my dad might have taken it or something but it wasn't me
GC: so i'm gonna go get it from him in a few minutes.
GC: probably.

-- glacialChamp [GC] ceased pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 9:35 --
Brandon got up from his chair and instead of going outside to get his dad he fell into his bed and kept eating his potato chips, he knew he had a few minutes before he really needed to go get his dad and the client disc so he tried to savor those scared few minutes the best he could and he spent those minutes eating stuff he liked, potato chips.

Spachino · May 6, 2019

Jace wondered what he was gonna do, honk like a penguin and trash your computer? Nah. While he was doing the wondering what to do, his SIS broke into his room, being a nerd as always and being nice, much to his anger. As he grabbed his toy spear and her sister pulled out a toy sword from her show, he knew was only one way to settle this... STRIFE!

CriticalMaster · May 8, 2019

Eventually, Brandon got up from his bed and looked for his Father, his house wasn't that large so It didn't take that long to find him. Brandon saw him chucking the client disc into the trash. "He probably thought it was an extra copy or something," he muttered. He didn't feel like wanting to strife his dad so he just waited until he left the room and grabbed the game. He ran back to his room and went back onto pesterchum.

-- glacialChamp [GC] began pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 9:39 --
GC: okay i got the game.
GC: i'm ready whenever you are i guess.
GC: also i never actually read the gamebro article you told me about.
GC: so later.
-- glacialChamp [GC] began ceased elatedPopsicle [EP] at 9:41 --
Honestly, he couldn't care less about this stupid sburb game his friends wanted to play with him. To pass the time he fell asleep on his bed.
He woke up in an extremely unfamiliar place with extremely light blue walls. He looked up and said "Probably some lucid dream and stayed in his new bed.

Spachino · May 8, 2019

Meanwhile...

Jace auto-fluffed her Sister's sword with with a pillow, which knocked at his face! Her Sister babbled about anime and dragons while Jace abjured all of this and whacked her with his spear until she got the hint and absconded. He noticed that Brandon messaged him, and to deal with recent events, he changed his Pesterchum status to bully, because he thought the situation wasn't dire enough for RANCOROUS, he just put bully. "Alright, let's get this game started..." he mumbled and activated SBURB. "Hey, nice loading music!" He said, admiring the loading music and glanced to his electronic piano thing. A while after playing a haunting piano refrain, the loading was done. He looked at Brandon, who was sleeping. While testing the controls, he tried picking up the bed, to no avail and viewed the bathroom. It was squeaky clean, and, pulled off the bathtub off its hinges, and dropping it, making a BANG! "Oh shoooot...."

-- elatedPopsicle [EP] began pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 9:54 --
EP: oh no
EP: sorry about your bathtub
EP: wait what bathtub hahahahahahahahhaha
EP: so uh im in and i can manipulate your surroundings so im gonna add some free stuff, and ive been reading the uhhhh walkthrough by tentacletheorist or something
EP: you know what just heres the link
EP: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/190052-sburb/faqs/73537 (Sburb FAQ/Walkthrough for PC by jazzyAbandoners - GameFAQs)
EP: i gotta have lily connect to me, she has the game as well
EP: gonna go do stuff now

Jace began placing down an Alchemiter, a Totem Lathe, and a Cruxtruder. "Nice." He said, hearing another meteor and jumping away. "GAH!"

CriticalMaster · May 8, 2019

Brandon woke up to hearing something cracking. He got up from his bed to see strange objects in his room, He looked at his computer to see sburb already set up. "Oh, I guess its time to play this stupid game," he said quickly. He skimmed through the walkthrough elatedPopsicle sent him and tried to open the Cruxtruder with the wheel on the side and eventually, the lid opens. An orb of light comes out along with some Cruxite.

He casually looked for the pre-punched card until he realized he didn't have it. He went onto pesterchum and let elatedPopsicle know.
GC: hey man im pretty sure you forgot the pre-punched card or whatever.
GC: also the guide said something about meteors or something but when is that going to happen, i haven't seen any meteors at all.

Nukas · May 9, 2019

Lily was getting done with her morning training when she had realized what day it was, It was finally the day that the new game came out. Based on what she had read it was a mix of a fighting and home design game. While she was not sure exactly how that worked, she wanted to play it all the same. She went outside to check her mailbox when she saw a red flash go by it before she had gotten there. When she checked the mailbox, she had noticed the server disk, but not the client. This was most likely a test assigned to her by her brother, one she did not care to deal with at the moment. She captchalogued the Server disk in her target modus and ran back up to her room. She was about to request her laptop from her modus, but she realized that she had captchalogued her laptop almost a week ago, and she didn't feel like trying to hit a target at that distance at this very second, so she just used her desktop computer for now and she would get out her laptop when she needed to download the disk.

-- stoicAssassin [SA] began pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 9:55 --
SA: I've recently acquired a disk in the mail for the game we are taking part in.
SA: My brother seems to have absconded with my Client disk.
SA: This, however, should not be too much of an issue as I am your server player and not the other way around.
SA: I assume everything is going as planned with Brandon?

Spachino · May 9, 2019

Jace put down the pre-punched card on Brandon, and read the walkthrough very not-thoroughly. He then noticed that the meteors were really crashing down and became a bit worried. Because of this, he started to type a bit faster.

EP: alright man i did it
EP: i hope you better get this over with because im probably gonna die so please get this ocver with...
EP: wait i just ntoiced that theres a timer on your 'cruxtruder'
EP: i thinnk you have 5:21 minutes left
EP: it was 7:54 when i deployed it?
EP: anyways thats prboably when the meteor coomes down so please hurry try using the totem lathe or something
EP: oh lily's messaging me so im gonna respond to her i trust you can do this on your own
EP: gonna make a memo or something
-- elatedPopsicle [GC] ceased pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 9:56 --
He then responded to Lily.
EP: yeah everything is going alright
EP: also please hurry im gonna die of meteors
EP: so connect to meh(teor)
EP: also your brother is a jerk
EP: no exceptions
EP: gonna go make a memo

Jace then found a disc on the SBURB top thing. It was labelled 'GRIST TORRENT' and deployed it.

Nukas · May 9, 2019

SA: You seem somewhat calm for someone that is in imminent danger.
SA: Not sure exactly why you would want to be playing a game at a time like this, but I will set everything up on my end.
-- stoicAssassin [SA] ceased pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 9:57 --

Lily realized that she probably should have just grabbed her laptop when she had thought about it earlier. Curse her lack of hindsight. She activated her modus and what seemed like a field of about ten targets appeared before her with a set of shuriken. She knew the target she had needed to hit was the farthest away from her, so she threw her first shuriken in a hurry so she could acquire her personal computer more quickly. In her rush however she had accidentally hit the wrong target releasing her old ninja doll from when she was little. When did she even captchalogue that thing again? Anyway, she aimed with a little more precision this time and hit the intended target of her laptop. She quickly started downloading the server disk and Grist Torrent onto the laptop and eventually connected to Jace in order to see the chaos around him. She was confused and probably should have read a little more on this game before agreeing to play it as it seemed like she could directly interfere with Jace's house and environment. Luckily, the controls to the game weren't hard to understand and she modified an extra room with the starting amount of grist to place down the Cruxtruder, Totem Lathe, and Alchemiter in a relatively easy to get to space so that they were all near each other and easy to access. Finally, she put the pre-punched card neatly on top of the Alchemiter so Jace could clearly see and retrieve it

-- stoicAssassin [SA] began pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 10:03 --
SA: Ok I believe I set everything in a way for you to get to it quite simply.
SA: Now that I have completed that, do you mind explaining exactly the game you have signed us up for because this seems a little less than normal, not that I'm complaining.

CriticalMaster · May 9, 2019

Brandon put the cruxite dowel in the totem lathe along with the punched card. The dowel was carved and he threw the carved dowel onto the alchemetier, A extremely large tree came up and burst through the roof of his house and it only had a single apple on it. The turquoise orb around him annoyed Brandon enough that he threw one of his battle toad figurines and missed horribly "My aim wasn't that good anyway" He muttered while picking it up. Unfourantly one of the legs fell off the due to his poor aim and he groaned while he threw it at the turquoise orb. He ignored it and started to climb up the tree but multiple times he fell down. After getting lots of bruises and scrapes from trying to climb the large tree he looked at his cruxtruder and tried to see how much time he had left, 1: 00. Brandon tried one last time to get up the tree, while climbing he looked up to see a large meteor coming for his house this motivated him to keep going up the tree and he eventually got to the top of the tree and grabbed the apple while everything went turquoise around him.

He looked up after closing his eyes for a few seconds to see a strange area, is his house was up in the air only kept up there because of a four wooden supports that looked like they would break. He was lost for words.

Spachino · May 9, 2019

Jace observed Brandon and saw the Pre-Punched card and saw the Cruxtruder, and went on his bed and jumped on the top of it, and a dowel knocked him on the ground, seeing a flashy bright thing. "I bet I should throw something at it." he said, tossing a two-headed dragon figure and a black monkey with a pink tie from his sylladex, and noticed that he had 2:10 minutes. He then put the dowel-looking thing in the Lathe and punched card also in the Lathe. The dowel had a ton of curves on the top and bottom parts. "Wait- this took too much time... 1:26 minutes left! Shoot shoot shoot..." Jace rushed to the Alchemiter and tossed the dowel there, it almost falling down. What he saw was a bush emerge, and a twig fall out, and the bush dissolved. Break it, he thought and went over to break it when a breeze flew it to the door, and HUGE gusts of breeze started going through the room by his window, which was open. Jace knew he didn't have much time, only 34 seconds. He started jumping all over to catch the stick, and jumped off the bed and grabbed a stick and as a meteor crashed down, snapped it as he fainted.

The Land of Constellation and Frogs
When he woke up, he saw that everything was pitch-dark, only seeing a dark mossy ground. He got up and dusted himself off. He took another peek out the window, finally noticing he wasn't dead. Feeling a brush of relief, he lied down on his bed, and relaxed, seeing purple, stubby, humanoid lizards with frills. He was really feeling good, not thinking about his sister and other things, until...

???: Hey!
???: hey.

CriticalMaster · May 10, 2019

Land of Ash and Motivation

Brandon coughed as he raced inside his house due to the putrid smell of ash. He was about to go onto to pesterchum but something was blocking the way.

??: Hey duuuude.
Brandon: Are you one of the guys from battleto-
??: Well, not anymore, I'm your sprite!
Brandon: What's a sprite?
??: I'm a sprite!
Brandon: Yeah thanks.

Brandon went back downstairs to try to see if anything was below the ash-filled darkness, when he got outside he could barely see something but he couldn't tell exactly what it was, to try to relax and clean his mind he went to sleep, ignoring the pale liquid that started to come out of the kitchen. He jumped in his bed a fell asleep. He woke up in that light blue room again and decided to get up and explore this time. It looked exactly like his room except for the walls and there was no door. After a few minutes of boredom, he tried to peer out of the window but went too far and just when he could get a better look below him he started to fall.

Spachino · May 10, 2019

Jace was in front of a ghostly light green entity, with two dragon-esque monkey heads with horns and two wings. One of the heads seemed a bit more joyful than the other. "I-What? Where am I? What are those lizards?" He inquired rapidly, when the entity responded one at a time.

JACE: what
???: what.
???: Hmph, well I guess I have to do the introductions!
KONGSPRITE: I am 2xKONGSPRITE, but you can just call us KONGSPRITE.
JACE: so where am i
KONGSPRITE: youre in the medium.
KONGSPRITE: More specifically, The Land of Constellation and Frogs.
KONGSPRITE: if youre here, you didn't die. from those meteors.
JACE: ok cool, what am i supposed to do
KONGSPRITE proceeds to babble about gates, denizens, and how your sister is gone- your sister is gone.
JACE: yeah ok cool cool im gonna go now
JACE opens Pesterchum to make a memo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CURRENT elatedPopsicle [CEP] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board SQUAD DUNG
EP: so im not dead
EP: my 'sprite' explained everything
EP: bad news, my sister is kidnapped
EP: but im in a place called 'the medium' and 'the land of constellation and stars' or something
EP: now theres a quest to get the land and rivers back to these lizards called 'consorts' and a quest by 'the one and only heir to space' or something
EP: im looking on my computer and i know brandons alive too
EP: echidnas a jerk

Riverrunner · May 11, 2019

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, BZZT, tick…

For what seemed like the fourteenth time in the past hour, Ally's phone buzzed in her pocket.
Frowning, she ceased tidying up her room to check it, allowing the vaccum fall to the ground with a loud thunk. Normally, whatever it was could wait five minutes until she was done, but she figured she should at least turn off the ringer, it was getting near infuriating.

Instead, what she found were multiple package tracking alerts (a quick check of her calendar indicated that this was likely either the Sburb disc or the new lures she'd ordered after her last ones were swallowed whole by a greedy grouper), a barrage of severe weather reports indicating some kind of… approaching meteors? That had to be some kind of hoax… right? Standing like a black sheep amidst the chaos was a single Pesterchum alert—one of her chums had uploaded a memo to the board, the content of which was well-nigh incomprehensible. "Medium?" "Consorts?" "Not dead?" What was any of that supposed to mean? Wait, Sburb's release date was today, right? Then what they were probably referring to was…

CURRENT neptunianHaiku [CNH] responded to memo.
NH: Hey, not to sound mean but
NH: If you guys are going to play a video game or something can you remove me from the memo first?
NH: I'm trying to avoid any sburb spoilers floating around the internet right now
NH: I should be able to connect in fifteen minutes when my laptop is deployed from my sylladex at 10:20
NH: Make that fourteen
NH: Side note, how's it going on your end?
NH: I've heard news of meteors and whatnot
NH: Not sure if there's any landing in the Southern Hemisphere, but is any of this affecting you guys?
NH: Anyway, I've got some work to finish
NH: I'll get back to you guys in a bit

Great, now at least one of the questlines had gotten spoiled for her, and before she could even get to the doorstep too.

Regardless, she had work to return to. She plugged in the vacuum once more, drowning out the sounds of the clock on the wall as she absentmindedly cleaned while scrolling through the articles. Evidentially, some sort of disaster had struck everywhere—without rhyme or reason, seemingly appearing out of thin air, large rocks had begun to barrage the earth in what people were considering an "apocalyptic event". How hadn't she heard of this sooner, was probably the better question. Then again, the suddenness of it all felt… unnatural, to say the least. Scientists had the technology to predict a meteor's path years before it even got close to striking earth's surface, so what had happened here?
Ally placed the vaccumn back in her closet, checking her schedule once more. Evidentially, she'd overestimated the time she'd need to complete this task. Maybe she could organise something else in the meantime?

She began to sift through the books on her shelf, waiting for the clock to strike 10:20.

Nukas · May 12, 2019

Lily noticed the two new Pesterchum alerts and was glad to hear that her friend had survived impending doom, although the jury was still out if Brandon survived or not. She then got another alert from Ally. The poor schedule-focused girl seemed to know even less about what was going on than Lily did. Lily checked to see how Jace was, and she saw him talking to this strange two-headed monkey. She decided to put that away and check up on Brandon. She believed he was strong enough on his own, even if he didn't always show it. He should have been fine, but she wanted to check how he was doing anyway.

-- stoicAssassin [SA] began pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 10:03 --
SA: Good morning, I did hear there was a slight chance of meteor showers headed towards your area.
SA: I do trust that you are doing ok, but seeing as how you and I had not communicated since the morning sun rose, I thought I'd check to make sure you had not died on this fateful eve.
SA: If you could respond in a timely manner to let me know that you are indeed not burnt to a crisp along with all your acquaintances and bloodline, that would be much appreciated

With that sent she figured she had some time to spare before the meteors were to come for her. She strongly believed that nothing bad would happen, so she thought she'd use this time to find her brother. She went to his room to no avail. The only thing she discovered in this particular locale was her brother's assortment of swords, pistols, and his vast assortment of cloaks. This meant he was most likely outside in the backyard. While she used the term "backyard" to refer to it, but this was, in all likelihood, an inaccurate description. Lily's brother was a spy for the US government and he had wanted to keep Lily out of any backlash from his job. Therefore he had relocated them to space where there wasn't another human for miles in any direction This gave them plenty of room for a practice range and several training dummies on their property. She went passed her mailbox, or at least what her brother had set up to feel like a mailbox. He would bring in the mail from a P.O. Box back in the city whenever they had expected mail and would leave it in this little box he had set up. She knew it would not be easy to locate her in the time she had, but for whatever reason, she had a strong belief that she would find him in time. Until then she would start this test like she did most others, with beating the sense out of some training dummies with her staff.

CriticalMaster · May 13, 2019

Right before he fell to his death he woke up sweating and saw there was a notification on pesterchum. He learned it was a memo and decided to respond later, he opened to door to see a pale looking thing with only one leg and a battle ax. He quickly slammed the door and decided to go onto pesterchum, he could barricade the door later. He saw two alerts, one for a memo and one from stoicAssassin. He decided to answer stoicAssassin first.

GC: hey lilly im alive.
GC: a lot of weird stuff has happened when i started playing this game.
GC: im in this 'dark realm' and only my house is here.
GC and it smells really bad here, also there are monsters trying to kill me.
GC: i think more are coming so i gotta go.
--glacialChamp [GC] ceased pestering stoicAssassin [SA] at 10:10

After he stopped talking to Lilly he heard high pitched screaming and a weird zapping noise. He opened the door to see the eager face of his sprite. He shut the door before the sprite could say a word and went to post on the memo.

CURRENT glacialChamp [CGC] responded to memo.
GC: hey guys i survived.
GC: so i can get other poeple into the game because you need two people or three i don't really know.

Spachino · May 14, 2019

Jace had completely forgotten about Ally, being distracted with almost dying and sprites and before asking what to do now, he decided to see what else to do. He was gonna start typing on the memo and fill in Ally on the news, and saw a couple of light-green villainous monsters with two turtles heads and claws and a shell with wings emerging from it and battle-guards. As soon as he saw this, he ran to the door, slamming it open. "Yeah, ok then." He muttered, and the sprite chimed in, "Those are some underlings that were influenced by your prototypes!" He rolled his eyes, and the stench of... fire? He looked at the door and saw that it was burning. Jace frowned, going on his computer and telling Ally what's going on.

EP: dang whoops
EP: well ally do you have the game because uhhh meteors are gonna killll you no joke haw
EP: probably because of a code that ends the world? idk
EP: and brandon connect wit ally with that server disc
HSSSSSSS.... BANG!
EP: oh shoooot some 'imps' are gonna kill me no time to explain ally but you can probably do this hope you dont die boys

When Jace turned his back on the door, an imp was there. "Well? Aren't you gonna save me?" He uttered to Kongsprite, who just responded with, "Sorry man, you gotta do this yourself, bro!" and rushed out of the wall, leaving a gob of ectoplasm and a disappointed look on Jace's face. He knew he didn't have time and without thinking pulled out some dice and rolled them... a success on the first roll! Though, he realized the random toggle mode was on, and a random item flashed out, and... CLANK! A metal bar bonked the imp on the head, removing a third of his health vial. He pulled out his strife weapon, a toy spear and the imp started flying around, taunting him and Jace grunted and he whacked the imp, and it just blew off. He plunged his hands in his pockets, throwing his dice and and a broken wing hit the imp, it hissing. He had nothing else to do, and grappled onto the ravenous imp as it breathed fire and Jace slightly got burnt. He bit into the imp's skull until they turned into a pile of grist. He scrambled on the grist, looking tired as ever.
He then had noticed that his sprite was there, watching. He looked very tired but didn't really want to use his energy and just laid on his bed, mumbling.

Nukas · Jun 1, 2019

Lily was getting annoyed with the current pace that she was vanquishing these training dummies. It had seemed like she had been at this for hours when in reality it had only been about fifteen minutes. She noticed another red flash, which was most likely her brother again, fly by as she was beating another dummy senseless. It seemed she had qualified to retrieve her game again, but she had a feeling this would not be his final test today. The client disk had been laying on one of the training dummies she had demolished seconds before along with 200 written in red pen, signifying that she had destroyed 200 training dummies in under 20 minutes which apparently was the test. Either way, she grabbed her game and got out her laptop once again. Luckily she had just captchalogued the item, so the target was so close it was impossible to miss. She downloaded the client disk and started pestering Ally.

-- stoicAssassin [SA] began pestering neptunianHaiku [NH] at 10:19 --
SA: Hello my dearest Ally, it is my understanding your laptop is about to be released, correct?
SA: While I am going to respect your wishes and not spoil the new game for you, I do recommend you download and connect to me immediately once it is released.
SA: While this may seem trivial and like I'm just eager to play the game, just note that quite a bit is riding on how fast you are able to accomplish this feat, thank you.

She then realized that Brandon had written back to her. She was happy to hear that he was all right. although she was very confused about all the terms he was using to describe his situation. She was sure she would learn about it later in this insane game.

Riverrunner · Jun 1, 2019

NH: Oh, hey, Lily!
NH: Game spoilers aside
NH: I'm just glad to see you're alright
NH: From what little I've seen everything seems to have completely gone bottoms-up pretty much… everywhere
NH: I'm really not sure what me playing a game will really help you with, though
NH: Shouldn't you just evacuate or something?
NH: But if this is occurring everywhere, I'm not sure how that would help
NH: Hang on, I'll be back in a second

As the clock struck 10:20, a loud click sounded from Ally's sylladex. Like clockwork, she reached out her arms to catch the falling bundle of electronics, setting the laptop on the ground in the now immaculate room.

Immediately, she was greeted with a barrage of news articles, alerts, and various messages on different platforms that had backloged over the past couple of days.
She ignored all of this, opening the Hephaestus browser and going directly into her emails instead.
Sburb had sent an automated message thanking her for pre-ordering, promising the game would arrive in 5-7 business days (surprisingly accurate; she usually had to add a day due to her location). Scrolling down, she skimmed through the titles. Notifications from other websites, an update to Hephaestus's software, multiple spam emails, photos from her pop's travels. Somehow, it seemed Sburb was pretty much the only thing on the itinerary for today. Well, that and baking a cake for her pop's birthday. She'd planned on surprising him when he'd returned, but seeing as he arrived ahead of schedule, that was no longer feasible. Maybe she could systematically avoid him?

She had time for cake baking later (in an hour, to be exact). For now, she needed to focus on what she was actually supposed to be doing right now, retrieving the discs from the mail.

It was before noon, meaning her pop was probably in the kitchen, or out fishing, or fixing up more of his clocks, or… wait, there were a couple of times where he'd fallen asleep on the porch. It was incredibly hard to tell with him, unfortunately. For a guy who loves clocks so much, he sure didn't seem to have any sense of schedule.
As such, her path down to the mailbox was long and confusing. Multiple times she doubled back, took paths between rooms as opposed to walking down the hallway, and finally resorted to climbing down one of her makeshift rope ladders after confirming the path was clear. The rest of the trip was a breeze: follow the rock path, turn left, head to the centre tree and… there it was.

A bright green package was waiting for her inside the mailbox, along with a smaller brown box labelled with a fish insignia. She grabbed both, quickly dashing to re-trace her steps, returning to her laptop and beginning installation of the disc labelled with "server".

NH: Alright, I've got the game. The server disc is installing right now
NH: It looks like it might take a little bit though
NH: Your disc is installed, right?
NH: If it is I should be able to connect to you in five minutes
NH: Make that eight
NH: Four?
NH: I'll just let you know when the game actually comes up with a definitive download time

Ally opened her door, intent on returning the second brown box to place the contents with the other lures while she waited.

Unfortunately, dumb luck seemed to overpower all of her planning, as the door opened directly into her pop's face.

S…Strife[?]

CriticalMaster · Jun 1, 2019

Brandon looked out the window to still see the pitch black void below. He was about to go online until the window broke. A gray looking grey slowly walked closer to Brandon. He had no other weapons to defend himself with so he had to use his fists. So he got ready to do the thing he was worst at but would never admit being bad at.

STRIFE!
He tried to throw a punch that was extremely weak, the imp didn't even flinch, the imp punched him in the stomach, causing Brandon to fall onto his knees. The imp finally knocked out Brandon by repeating punching him in the face. Instead of waking up in his house. He woke up and saw a yellow floor covered with blood, his blood. He could barely stand. He looked up to see a yellow tower and he saw another tower on the right. He tried to walk but he just fell again and slowly closed his eyes. Brandon woke up in his room again and to his horror is laptop was destroyed by imps and gray sludge covered his bedroom, meaning he had no contact until he found his dads laptop. He knew he couldn't fight the imps so he ran out of his room, past his sprite and into the basement and locked the door.

He looked around for a weapon so he could change his strife specibus into something better but the online thing he found was a plastic baseball bat, when Imps started to pound on the basement doors, he knew he had to act quickly.

Nukas · Jun 3, 2019

Lily looked over her comrade's messages and was just baffled at how obsessed this girl was about having everything on a schedule. Everyone knows that downloading something never gives a definitive load time. That's beside the point. Lily adored the idea of getting her brother and herself out of there, but she was pretty sure playing this game was the only way they were going to get out of this alive. Plus, she didn't believe her brother cared about anything other than her pointless, asinine tests. Anyway, Lily decided while she was waiting to connect to Ally, she would check on Jace's progress with the two-headed apparition. What she founded when she switched over to Sburb was something quite different than the scene she was expecting. She could have formed this conjecture if she had only looked at the memo thread sooner, how she despised memos. There was nothing like a good conversation one on one with a pair of minds and wits. Memos always seemed messy and always unnecessarily put "current" in front of someone's name, as if one of us who wasn't the current version was going to respond. It was idiotic, to say the least.

Her attention was called back to the current scent on her screen. Poor Jace seemed to have passed out from exhaustion on his bed. While that may not have been a problem in and of itself, the predicament was that he was currently surrounded by Imps, what an inopportune time to pass out. Luckily it seemed like Jace had accumulated a bit of grist for her to abuse and save him. With the last bit of grist Jace owned, Lily built a big platform for all of the items she had placed in his house earlier and moved them up there. She also tried to move Jace up there, but the game apparently didn't allow you to invade another's privacy by clicking on them. She could, however, move his bed which brought him along with it. She moved the bed to the roof away from the imps as Jace called them earlier She rotated the bed so that Jace was dumped on the floor, this would hopefully wake him up. She then replied to her two confidants.

-- stoicAssassin [SA] began pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 10:03 --
SA: Hello Sleeping Beauty.
SA: I would suggest that you arise from your slumber.
SA: Seeing as I just had to rescue you from actual eternal sleep.
SA: What are you going to do with that revolting excuse for a strife specibus
SA: I feel like you might want to update your weapon of choice before the imps find their way up to you.

SA: Yeah I believe the client disk is done downloading now.
SA: I can't really explain the whole world ending debacle, but if the world's end is eminent, I would like to spend my final hours playing games with my closest acquaintances.
SA: With that said please connect to me... and don't wait so long that I perish with the rest of the world.

That was the most Lily felt like she could say without breaking Ally's spoiler ban.

Spachino · Jun 4, 2019

Jace rolled over, groaning. "Ow, my head..." agonized him, getting to his legs and dusting himself off. He barely could see a thing, everything being so dark and all that. The only light was in the sky, a planet that looked full of Ash and Motivation, though it wasn't so bright. Jace glanced at his phone, looking at Lily's message and felt a bit hurt. "Ok theeen. Though I need to find a way to see through this damn darkness!" He looked at his sylladex, trying to find anything bright. Jace found one of those mini-flashlight things that you put on your fingers. He flipped the back of the cards, remembering the pattern of dice he needs to roll. Two threes, seven sixes. He thought, rolling his dice. One minute later, getting the flashlight doodads, he thought how weird his sylladex was, then he ascended on his Echeladder. GAMBLEDORK! Lame tier. "So," he mumbled, reading the walkthrough, "I just gotta..." Jace put his sunglasses and flashlight doodads back in their cards, realizing he needed the cards AND the codes and looked around. "...Crap." He said, realizing he didn't have the device that punched cards. "THIS!" He roared, "IS! STUPID!" and put his sunglasses on and put the flashlight doodads back in his sylladex. Jace decided to tell his server player to get the machine, but before that, he needed a crap-ton of grist. He then got a HUGE headache, short, but so strong and felt like someone was saying... 'BOY! LOOK OUT! BOY!' Deciding to trust his gut, he turned around, and saw an imp! "AH-" The imp used a rock to knock him out. Godammit.

Jace woke up, in... a laundry basket with a huge brick on it. "Crap."

EP: alright alright im awake
EP: im in a stupid pickle
EP: alsooo im trapped
EP: and you forgot to buy me something that could help me get a new god damn spear
EP: either way, i need some help
EP: and if you dont mind get my computer up here
EP: bye
-- elatedPopsicle [EP] ceased pestering stoicAssassin [SA] --

He was a bit bored, and took a rest, and then woke up in a yellow tower. "Time to investigate."

Riverrunner · Jun 5, 2019

STRI—
No. Absolutely not.
Before her pop could so much as make a finger gun or crack a single dad joke, Ally absconded down the hallway, bulky laptop and remaining Sburb disc in her arms. She really did not have a lick of time for this kind of tomfoolery. Plus, her fshngrodkind specibus was for emergencies only (and, well, fishing). Not for silly confrontations with her pop. What kind of kid would willingly open fire on their guardian? And on their guardian's birthday too? The very thought was appalling to her.

Having successfully dashed down the hallway like an idiot (partially out of convenience and mostly out of guilt), Ally speedily ascended the nearest staircase, finding herself in… where was she, exactly?

It was no secret that Ally had a rich upbringing. Despite her attempt to hide it beneath layers of bait, tackle, and hard work, her inheritance showed for itself. Her house was practically a mansion—a lot of space with almost no one to share it with—built by request of her parents for her pop… and her, apparently.
But sometimes she questioned her parents' choices a bit in more ways than one. For starters… which one of them had designed the house? To Ally, it seemed as if it were built to resemble an MC Escher painting. Stairs that go nowhere, room upon room upon room painted with the same drab maroon and the same flaking wallpaper. If she didn't know any better, she would have assumed that the house was alive.

She was certain she'd been in this room before (after all, the place couldn't stretch on forever regardless of how labyrinthian the design), but there didn't appear to be anything special here. A couple of fish specimens she'd dried out years ago, mounted upon plaques, a few miscellaneous bronze gears, a thick coating of dust—about what one would expect if they were to go randomly snooping.

Regardless, she knew that her pops knew this place like the back of his hand (somehow), so she likely didn't have long to sit and chat. Approximately five minutes and she'd have to change location, she guessed.
She opened up her laptop to find that the sever had finished downloading. Immediately, she set out to contact her friend.

NH: It's done!
NH: *finished
NH: Sorry, I know you're particular about word usage and whatnot
NH: But anyway, I should be able to connect to you now
NH: 3, 2, 1, and…

Ally found herself to be an onlooker into Lily's home, the game giving her a bird's eye view into the girl's apartment. Standing in the middle of the screen was…

NH: Wait, is that you?
NH: I'm only now realising how we've never really seen pictures of one another
NH: You look really cool!
NH: Or you avatar does, at least
NH: It looks way too realistic to be an avatar though, is this actually you?
NH: I thought this was just a game like the sims but… wait, can I move stuff around?
NH: I can!
NH: Oh, um, sorry about your bed
NH: I'll just… put it back
NH: There we go, almost good as new
NH: The controls are a little bit spotty, not going to lie

So that was the big secret.
This game, somehow, manipulated real life.
Alright, fine. The more logical explanation was that it somehow captured a photorealistic copy of the person's house and body, allowing someone to manipulate that. But then again, in a world where meteors were currently raining down to destroy the planet… somehow the stuff Jace had said about the medium and not dying seemed all the more believable.

Wait, Jace! She had completely forgotten to check up on both him and Brandon. Were they alright? She checked the clock, two minutes. That seemed like just enough time to type out a couple of pesterlogs.

-- neptunianHaiku [NH] began pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 10:28 --
NH: Hey Jace!
NH: Are you akrighr?
NH: *alright
NH: Sorry typing quicjly
NH: I heard about the game and the meteors and you said youre allve but
NH: thougth id check in for a sec
NH: ive connected wifh SA if that helps
NH: sorry gotra go check in on GC
-- neptunianHaiku [NH] ceased pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 10:29 --

Something clattered to the ground behind her. Panicking, she quickly captchalogued it and set it to a random time (in about an hour or so, apparently), before beginning to pester GC.

-- neptunianHaiku [NH] began pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 10:29 --
NH: Hey GC!
NH: Brandon
NH: I know that im barely in kn this game thing and stufd
NH: Bur i just waned to make sure youre alright
NH: With the whole meteors and studf
NH: i forgot to check in on wveryine and i feel reallt bad
NH: sorry cant talk long got to go respond if youre alrifhr
-- neptunianHaiku [NH] ceased pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 10:30 --

Nukas · Jun 5, 2019

Lily noticed how ungrateful Jace was for her literally just saving his life, not like she was forced to. She had the possibility of letting him rot out the rest of his days as a corpse. Either way, she quickly viewed what the unappreciative adolescent was going on about. Where she had acquired the previous devices, there were a few new ones. She tried to place the one designated "Punch Designix," but all that popped up was a message that read "insufficient build grist." She realized that Jace had gotten her more to work with by killing that "imp" as he called it She quickly messaged Jace back to tell him the bad news.

-- stoicAssassin [SA] began pestering elatedPopsicle [EP] at 10:03 --
SA: Excuse me mister, but is that any way to converse with the girl who just saved your life?
SA: While I do agree I have quite a bit left to understand about this game, I still think I deserve at least a little bit of credit for having saved you.
SA: Also I believe you need to kill some more of those Imps for me to be able to craft what you need to create better weapons.
SA: It's a little inconvenient that you have to kill imps in order to kill imps easier, but I didn't design the game.
SA: Speaking of the game, could you send me this FAQ you are so obviously perusing.
SA: I do feel like we each would benefit From having the same information available to everyone.

Lily also saw on Pesterchum and saw that Ally had finally connected to her and realized just what this game was. While Lily did understand her enthusiasm to learn that she could move things in the physical world, she could not comprehend why people were naturally drawn to moving beds out of their designated places in rooms.

-- stoicAssassin [SA] began pestering neptunianHaiku [NH] at 10:32 --
SA: While I do appreciate you trying to expand your vocabulary, you do not have to change the way you talk just to appease me.
SA: Anyway, does this mean the spoiler ban is finally lifted?
SA: That is, in fact, yours truly and not an avatar.
SA: I do appreciate the compliment, I'm sure you look quite perfect yourself.
SA: I'll take it I wasn't quite what you were expecting due to my online persona.
SA: I believe that you need to put down the devices in your inventory so that I might enter the medium myself.

Lily decided to leave things there and not bombard the poor girl with more information than she can handle at once, she would continue as soon as everything was put down in a locale that was, hopefully, a simple and easy place for her to get to.

Spachino · Jun 12, 2019

Jace was asleep and didn't really care. He didn't have time to babble with ninja or fishing women, after all! Jace did a quadruple-double spin in the air, or as normies call it, fly off the handle. He landed very nicely but realized he was supposed to be investigating. Jace floated on over to a bigger planet and caught a glimpse of a large, yellow chain. He spotted many white figures and went over to them, giving them hugs and high fives. "Very friendly, I guess..." He said, floating away even more. Jace floated down in an alley, leaning on the wall of it. "...Alright, I'm gonna wake up now!" He hesitated, and punched himself in the face, waking up. "Jeeeez..." Jace whined, looking at his phone. Understandable, now that he's reading it, he did seem a bit rude. Jace equipped the rock thing he had into a strife card, making the terrible rockkind. Through a crap ton of... shenanigans, Jace was out of his cloth cage. He spotted some consorts, and decided to talk to them.

JACE: heeey buddy
The frilled creature looks at you blankly.
JACE: can you help me plz
They look kind of dim, but they are holding a bottle of superglue.
JACE: ummm-
CONSORT: Making all these goddamn shells for the agents. Goddamn pain in the neck.
JACE: agents??????
CONSORT: Yeah, agents. They're making us these shells for the Black Queen. And it sucks even more with all this darkness. I hate that Denizen. When will that Heir of Space come already?!
JACE: i can take that superglue off your hands
JACE: make you the shells and you off work haha
The consort shrugs and gives you the superglue.

Jace glared at the superglue and looked at the rock. HAMMER TIME! "So I made this rock hammer. Time to use... it?" He doubted, bonking an imp on the head 3 times, the imp evaporating into grist, mainly Stardust, yellow and blue striped grist. "Um, sure. That works, but not my style." Jace made his way downtown, or down his house, making grist fast and he's complex-kept. He racked up a total amount of 6,115, like his birthday, June 11. He entered his bedroom, seeing that his pal Bran was in TROUBLE. Jace picked up a metal drawer and used it to smash a couple of imps, but it wasn't enough. "Eh, I've done enough."

-- elatedPopsicle [EP] began pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 10:45 --
EP: hey buddy i got you a bit of grist outside ur door
EP: do th is urself lmbo
EP: huh someones pestering me
EP: goddammit its the trolls hol on
-- elatedPopsicle [EP] ceased pestering glacialChamp [GC] at 10:46 --

God, this is unbelievable. Jace can't BELIEVE the trolls are bothering him! Though, he's on good terms with this troll, kinda? Let's be honest, he doesn't know her that well.

dustyVerdoemde [DV] began trolling elatedPopsicle [EP]
DV: <=> Yo what the hell ya doin <=>
DV: <=> Swear to god my voidrot is moving faster than your slow rump <=>
DV: <=> Pick up the goddamn pace <=>
EP: what the hell u want fool
DV: <=> What I want is for ya to be better at this dumb game <=>
DV: <=> Your 'weapon' will do you no good <=>
DV: <=> My crew is doing 10x faster than your crew <=>
DV: <=> And we're stuck in never-ending boredom
DV: <=> I'm legit feeding off of imps <=>
DV: <=> I'm getting impatient waiting for your gang of 'misfits' to get us out of troll purgatory <=>
EP: you done
EP: and if you want us to save ya bum
EP: give us some crud to help us
EP: plz
DV: <=> Ugh fine if you insist <=>
DV: <=> Use this code <=>
DV: <=> It'll cost a crap ton of grist but it'll be worth it <=>
]DV: <=> 8MSM888A <=>
DV: <=> Trust me it helped me a ton <=>[/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B]
dustyVermdoemde [DV] ceased trolling elatedPopsicle [EP]

Jace sighed, feeling stressed. "Gonna do this then do something else."

EP: omg youll never guess what happened
EP: the trolls talked to me
EP: also heres the walkthrough
EP: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/190052-sburb/faqs/73537 (Sburb FAQ/Walkthrough for PC by jazzyAbandoners - GameFAQs)
EP: here you gooo
EP: and i racked up a crap ton of grist, your welcome
EP: also, can you tell ally im a-ok? she messaged be about that

Jace decided he was gonna practice with his new weapon some more, for no reason.

Riverrunner · Jun 15, 2019

Needless to say, her five minutes was up, but where was she to go from here?

Closing her laptop, she briefly surveyed the room. Other than hiding amidst the clutter on the walls and floor, it didn't seem like there was anywhere to go. Unfortunately, a quick glance at the junk told her that she would stick out like a sore thumb. That seemed to be her only option other than leaving from where she came, however—it was worth a shot.

Ally began to erratically circle around the room, gathering all of the miscellaneous scraps of wallpaper, bits of broken clockwork, and un-mounted plaques, forming a misshapen pile of… whatever this was… underneath an upturned chair. Regardless, it was going to be her place to lie low for a couple of minutes, that's all that mattered. As she nestled into the pile, almost as if on cue, she heard the lights click on, followed closely by the sound of a door closing.

Silence.

One minute. Two minutes.

Nothing.

Was he standing right by the doorway, waiting for her to move?
She had to be certain.

Three minutes. Four minutes.

Her phone buzzed, reminding her of the pesters that her friends had left her several minutes ago.

Nothing. No movement. No reaction.

Cautiously, the girl peeked out from a shred of wallpaper…
In the glow of the ancient floodlights, the room was completely empty. No one was in here but her, sitting under a pile of junk like an idiot.

…Perhaps spending too much time alone was making her a bit paranoid. Then again, why would someone turn on the lights, then leave? What was the point to that?

Regardless, she crept out from her hiding spot, brushing the dust off of her clothes (although she doubtlessly still looked like she'd crawled out of a condemned air vent). The room was, indeed, completely empty. Swinging from the ceiling was a long string, seemingly seconds away from falling victim to dry rot, attached rather unceremoniously to a hatch above.

This room… had an entrance to the attic? This was certainly news to her. The attic was the one place where her Pop never went, and the place where she'd planned to hide out today as decided several weeks ago, thumbing through a couple of cookbooks. Unfortunately, that idea had quickly fallen through as she realised that she had no idea how to get there.

Pulling over the chair she'd been hiding under moments before (sending bits and baubles flying in the process) she stood on her toes, yanking downwards on the string. The hatch slowly opened, revealing a set of equally decrepit foldable wooden stairs. Ally pushed her chair out of the way, and with one last yank of the cable the stairs fell to the ground.

Cautiously, she ascended—the stairs appeared as if they may cave in any minute—rolling the hatch back up as soon as she reached the top.

She opened her laptop once more, deploying the device labelled Cruxtruder per Lily's suggestion.

NH: Alright, there's only a couple of things I can deploy right now
NH: This is one of them
NH: It's the kind of tree stump looking one
NH: I couldn't fit it in your room though
NH: It's a tad bit big for that
NH: Not sure why
NH: I'm not quite sure what you're supposed to do with it though?
NH: Use the crank on the side maybe?

Shortly after pressing send, a second message appeared on her Pesterchum. This one was… who was this from?

[???] began trolling neptunianHaiku [NH] at 10:41
NH: ?
NH: Hello?

Nukas · Jun 19, 2019

Lily was patiently watching her friend play with rocks to defeat some imps. Hopefully, he would be able to use something slightly better than that pitiful excuse for a weapon once she is able to build this contraption for him. She watched as the grist counter increased, and once the required amount of grist was collected, she deployed the punch desgnix in the same area as the other devices, which was in the vicinity of Jace's current position. She decided to let Jace know just in case he could not perceive the obvious new device now within arm's length of him.

SA: The trolls are hounding you again?
SA: They seem to never cut us any slack.
SA: How did they even get our chum handles anyway?
SA: Although that is beside the point.
SA: I have set the designix into position so you can craft better armaments than that rock you seem to like playing with.
SA: I must show my gratitude for the walkthrough you sent me, it is very informative.
SA: I am quite impressed with tentacleTherapist's extensive vocabulary.
SA: Again, I am getting off track, I was just about to contact our dear friend Ally.
SA: I will, of course, inform her that you are in good health.

Lily then went to find the cruxtruder that Ally said she had deployed somewhere. She knew it wasn't in her room, but that didn't help her find the actual location of the device. Her house was not small and consisted of multiple buildings. Obviously, she couldn't have placed it too far away from Lily's room, as you can't wander too far from your client player's position. She tried to find it in the main building which consisted of the essentials such as the kitchen, her brother's room, and her room of course. She then went outside to get to the game lodge. That consisted of all your standards for a game room, like an obstacle course and battlefield for the occasional Nerf battle with her brother. She preferred her foam Shuriken for those battles as she was useless with guns. Either way, it would have been the perfect place to deploy devices like a cruxtruder, with all the space inside.

To her disappointment, she saw the red flash once more before she got to the door. When she got to the door, it was completely barred off by her brother's swords. Not only were her brother's swords glued to the doorframe blocking entry to the game room, but his swords were also stuck in the ground to keep her from getting closer. For reference, her brother's swords were not just regular swords. He was quite well versed in the 4xSwordkind. These swords were almost like giant shuriken except they were four swords in a shuriken shape joined by a circular handle in the middle. Attached to one of the swords was a note in her brother's signature red ink: Infiltration mission. This obviously meant she was supposed to find some way in, which also confirmed her suspicion that this was where she needed to go.

SA: Thanks for deploying it, although I am having a difficult time arriving at its location.
SA: My brother is being somewhat difficult today, as if he is trying to make up for a lack of time.
SA: If you could start also placing the other devices that would be much appreciated.
SA: Although if it isn't too much trouble I would prefer you place it in relatively the same area.
SA: I should have a relatively high grist amount already available for you to use should you need to expand anything.
SA: Just in case you were wondering, Jace is fine.
SA: I have been in regular contact with him and he wished I would inform you of his well-being.

With that said she started climbing the outside of the lodge to look for a way in.

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