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the date is 7/22/2017, a young man named Maison Jones stands in his room waiting for his copy of the newest computer game, SBURB to arrive. His friends packages are also arriving soon. He and his friends have been planning to play together since the game's features were announced. Maison opened Pesterchum messaged one of his friends.
Alex practically flew down the stairs, barely managing to not trip over her own feet. Today was July twenty-second: the day in which she would get to play a game with her friends. Did she know the details? Not really. Heck, most of the time she just played pixelated, earthbound-style RPGs, but there was something special about this one. Plus, this was guaranteed to arrive today, unlike a certain other game that had been promised to launch in January.
Her euphoric dash soon ended as she stepped outside and checked the mail. To her utmost disappointment, she found nothing but a singular letter advertising a 'free' trip to the Bahamas (which she discarded immediately) and some lint. Seeing as it was the peak of summer and was reaching into the hundreds temperature-wise, the girl reluctantly slunk back inside. Alex wheeled over a chair to her laptop, deciding to pester her friends on the matter. After all, today was still the day, right? It couldn't hurt to make sure they were in on a decent "plan" as well.
avianAstronomer [AA] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board SBURB BETA.
AA: You guys were all selected to be beta testers too, right?
AA: That's almost disturbingly convenient but also really cool : D
AA: Anyway, if you guys have actually gotten the package (I haven't)
AA: Do we have a game plan?
AA: A literal game plan in this case??
AA: I didn't actually read the website because I'm trying to avoid potential spoilers for the plot, so one of you will have to fill me in
Pesterchum was kind of stupid, in her opinion, and had a similarly crappy layout. But at least it did its job. Seeing as it was unlikely the mail had arrived in the few moments it took her to type out the message, she kicked her feet up onto her desk and waited for a reply.
Maison saw a memo that had been posted by one of his best friends, and decided to respond since he had important information.
PersistentDarkness [PD] Responded to AvianAstronomer's [AA]memo.
PD: yeah, i was also selected to beta test, and I'm pretty sure everyone else was too.
PD: I read up on the game mechanics, and the alchemy system in SBURB is confusing, but I did figure out what everything's main function is.
PD: There's this one thingamajig with a pipe protruding out of it.
PD: If you open the lid on the pipe, a countdown starts, and you get a Cylinder that's... somehow important?
PD: There's also this thing called the Kernelsprite, and you have to do something to it during the countdown.
Maison had looked outside and had seen a Fedex truck down the street that had delivered mail to the rest of his neighborhood. Maison felt excited and had almost started to jump up and down.
Max heard the doorbell ring and had ran downstairs. He joyfully opened the door then ran to the mailbox, and looked inside. The game had arrived. "YEAHHHH!!!!!! This is gonna be so awesome dear god i cant wait to go to my room and install the game and play it with my friends yeahh!!!" Max was overreacting, but he didn't care, he was too excited to care, he just want to play the game already. Max ran up the stairs, still yelling, but he was talking to fast to understand. Max quickly put the disk in, then opened Pesterchum while waiting for the game to install.
PersistentDarkness [PD] Responded to AvianAstronomer's [AA] memo.
PD: ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE OMG THE GAME IS INSTALLING YEEEEAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PD: I'm installing the client version i cant wait to play its gonna be so fun i cant wait i cant wait i cant wait
Max didn't realize how annoying he sounded, and even if he did, he wouldn't care. Then someone responded to the memo
NofuxArmada [NA] responded to AvianAstronomer's [AA] memo.
NA: Oh, fuck. I forgot all about this game. I've had it sitting in my room for like, a day now.
NA: I guess that explains why it wasn't working in the DVD Player.
Kyle leaned back in his seat as he stared at his message on the memo, before spinning around in his chair to face the opposite end of his room, where the only decoration he had hung on the wall.
Dwayne Johnson stared back at him, his eyebrow raised in that classic way. The actor was forever immortalized in Kyle's eyes. He was a man. A myth. A legend. Nobody, at all, is better than the Rock.
"Oh, Dwayne. If only we were best Bros irl. We would be too good for this world." Kyle smirked before flipping back in his chair to check if any of those chums replied to the memo.
Maison looked back at his list of games to buy. He crossed off the square next to the words SBURB. he look at the other games on the list which were Metroid Prime four, the remake of Metroid 2, Sonic Mania, and Sonic Forces. Maison responded to the memo again.
PersistentDarkness [PD] responded to AvianAstronomer's [AA] memo
PD: the game's almost downloaded, just a few more minutes.
PD: has anyone installed the server version?
PD: its finished!
Alex had seemingly only looked away for a few moments before a torrent of buzzes overtook her computer. Sure enough, it was indeed her friends. Two of them had seemingly gotten the game already, which could only mean that hers was on its way? It would probably arrive soon...ish by scientific estimate. Yes. Very scientific.
Shoving aside her very rooted in fact guesswork for a moment, Alex decided to actually respond to her own memo before it got completely blown up.
avianAstronomer [AA] responded to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo.
AA: I guess it shows that response memo every time someone says something now
AA: Oh well
AA: And apparently the game is sort of a sim instead of something with a plotline like I thought, so I've pulled up the start guide now
AA: Anyway, it's great that you guys got your games!!
AA: Mine still hasn't shown up yet :/
AA: Unless...
At nearly that exact moment, the doorbell rung. Despite the fact that it was likely either a soliciter or a malfunction of the crappy installation unit (or some sort of combination of both), the girl couldn't help but assume it was in relation to the prior conversation. She scooted in her chair and slid down the hallway in her socks, barely avoiding coming tumbling to the ground. She skidded to a halt beside the front door, completely neglecting to put on shoes (as per usual) before heading outdoors once more. Sure enough, on her doorstep lay a bright green package with a note somewhat haphazardly stuck to the front. Alex grabbed the package and glanced out at the street. Surprisingly, there was no sign of the UPS truck. Then again, what else was new.
Alex stepped inside, closed the door, sat down at her computer, gently set aside the note to read later, then proceeded to tear open the package like a rabid dog. Inside was a case which, when popped open, contained a singular disc with a lime-green spiralgraph pattern. She popped it into her disc drive, almost immediately prompting an installation of the "Server Version." Surprisingly it downloaded... fairly quickly, and the installation screen itself was exhilarating (as installation screens go, of course). Although still in a mildly trance-like state due to the twisting patterns and exciting music, she decided to shoot a message to her friends.
AA: Speak of the Devil...
AA: Anyways, I've installed the server version
AA: Or at least it's installing right now
AA: Nevermind, it's finished!
AA: I assume I connect to you now?
AA: Well 'you' as in PD seeing as the only other person hasn't got it downloaded yet
Now that nearly everything regarding the game was done, she decided to read the note. She uncovered the piece of paper from the heap of mauled green wrapping, skimming her eyes across the typed text. After getting to the bottom, she shrugged, folding it and setting it next to her monitor. It was mostly just a brief guide to a few mechanics. Doubtlessly it would come in handy later, but it wasn't too important. Plus, who writes a message that ominous for what is essentially the multiplayer equivalent to a Sims game? "Extremely important to install?" Pfft. As if. A good marketing tactic, sure, but without a doubt not installing the game would have literally no concequences.
nofuxArmada [NA] responded to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
NA: I'm assuming you want me to install the game?
NA: You guys reply too fast for me to respond. I keep having to delete what I have and get on to the next current subject.
NA: Shit dudes
Kyle began drumming his fingers on his desk as he waited for the next reply. Quickly feeling an inspiration of Dwayne Johnson swell up inside of him, he quickly pulled up another window and clicked on his downloaded content.
Most of it was 'explicit' content, but he soon found what he was looking for, and clicked on it. His video player opened on the screen as he settled himself in to watch Fast 6.
"My chums can wait."
Cosmic had been downloading all the clients of SBURB. He got lucky and had the game since yesterday, but you weren't allowed to install anything until July 22nd. He stayed up until midnight and started downloading the clients. However, it took too long to finish and he fell asleep. He kept on hearing notifications and got so annoyed he finally woke up. He saw a bunch of memos left off by three of his friends.
GalaxyGamer [GG] responded to AvianAstronomer's [AA] memo
GG: You guys finally got it huh?
GG: I already have all the stuff installed, I didn't understand the manual that much, though.
GG: Do any of you guys know how to use the server client?
GG: Besides running it, how do you set it up?
GG: Or does it do that for you?
Persistent Darkness [PD] replied to AvianAstronomer's [AA] memo
PD: Whoever runs the server version must connect with someone else who has client version to play the game.
PD: I have the client installed, so i can connect with your game
Seeing as Mason had already installed the client version and she had installed the server, Alex figured there was only one thing left to do. In the SBURB menu, she selected the "Host Server" button (notably, the only thing that actually did anything). For some reason, instead of hosting anything, this prompted her to join a connection labelled in familiar cherry red text. Clicking what was, once more, the only option available, Alex waited. For a moment, her screen went black, but then opened up to... a room? What? Raising an eyebrow, Alex used the house-shaped cursor to scroll across the screen until she discovered- was that Maison? In an attempt to zoom in further, she accidentally grabbed one of his bedsheets and flung it across the room. Oops. Alex realised it may just be a better idea to contact him and ask.
avianAstronomer [AA] replied to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo AA: Maison, I've connected to you and... are you in your room by any chance?
AA: Sorry about your bed
AA: Assuming that's actually your bed like I assume and not just a game simulation thingymajig
AA: My fault entirely
AA: But does that mean this is a simulator in real life of sorts?
AA: Geez, I don't really know what to say
AA: That's some serious reality warping stuff right there
Deciding not to touch anything until she got a response, she leaned back in her chair. This was... definitely some game. Alex needed a moment to process such, as it was simultaneously extremely interesting and extremely terrifying. She... probably should've read the manual.
PersistentDarkness replied to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
PD: what in world!?
PD: Was that you!?
PD: Yeah, I'm in my room, but I don't even understand what happened?
PD: I thought you could manipulate my Game character's surroundings, not my own!
"What just happened!?" Maison's jaw dropped. "This game is crazy!" he thought to himself. This had taken him by surprise.
Kyle realized he was bored. He'd already watched Fast 6 at least a thousand times. Quickly closing his video player, Kyle came to the realization that he was...
Hungry.
He was about to sit up, but decided to check aa's memo first, seeing as there had been several more replies since he'd last checked.
nofuxArmada [NA] responded to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
NA: Oh shit. You guys are serious. Alright. I'll install the game.
NA: Right after I get some much needed food. I'm fucking hungry.
NA: Also, aa, I dare you to steal pd's bed next, lol.
Kyle quickly stood and proceeded out of his room to find his Uncle at the entrance to his own room, working on the lock to the door. Not wanting to blamed for some other shit he had nothing to do with, Kyle quickly headed down stairs to grab a bite to eat.
Alex, having only now taken the time of day to read the fricking startup guide (it wasn't very helpful), was practically screaming. This meant that someone had developed a game that, against all odds, manipulated reality itself. These objects she had to deploy weren't "simulated" or "in-game abstractions," they were more real than... uh... some kind of overly-exaggerated ironic metaphor. Nonetheless, her opinion still hadn't changed much. This was still extremely creepy, considering the ominous warning at the end of both the website and the attached note (a little bit redundant, she thought) but at the same time she was interested in just how they had managed such a feat. Connecting coding with reality itself? You'd have to be a genius! Or. Y'know. Completely off your proverbial rocker. Likely a combination of both along with some extremely lucky button mashing. Her friends had responded to her memo in the few minutes it had taken her to come back to her senses, so she opened the game tab back up along with Pesterchum and figured she should probably respond.
avianAstronomer [AA] replied to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
AA: I thought the same thing!
AA: But it turns out that everything's real which is more than a bit disturbing!
AA: And apparently I have to deploy some real-life objects into your house PD
AA: As a side note, no bed stealing will be done
AA: Even if I wanted to take his bed, I can't scroll outside of the boundaries of his house and yard
AA: So I wouldn't be able to deliver it to myself
AA: Unfortunately
Following the extremely vague and unhelpful directions the guide offered, Alex opened up what was presumably the "Phernalia Registry," or items menu. Out of the listed objects, disappointingly, only three of them were free. Maybe those were the important ones? She really wasn't sure. As if to test the waters, she selected one of them. Alex clicked on an icon labelled 'Cruxtruder,' which appeared to be some kind of game machine with a tall dowel-like object. Scrolling around PD's house in what probably wasn't an invasion of privacy, she decided to 'deploy' the device in what was the biggest open space possible. Luckily, it fit, landing down with a loud thunk. As is courtesy, she decided to inform him of such, as putting down a piece of gaming equipment in this case was just as logical as, let's say, someone breaking into his home.
AA: I deployed one of the thingies in the menu
AA: It's... in your house somewhere?
AA: I have no idea how to work it though
AA: Plus, would I really be able to do anything?
AA: Except for trash your house I guess
AA: It's called the "Cruxtruder," if that helps you at all
AA: There's also two other devices that might be important
AA: Should I deploy those as well?
Maison heard a loud thunk, and opened pesterchum to see what happened.
PersistentDarkness [PD] replied to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
PD: So that was the loud sound i heard
PD: I think you should deploy the other items near it before we do anything else.
PD: I remember researching some stuff about the Cruxtruder, but all i remember is I have to hit it really, really hard, with something really, really big, like a hammer.
PD: Could you go and find my Buster Sword replica?
PD: It has a dull edge, but the thing is so dang big it could kill someone dull edge or not.
PD: but it's WAY to big to wield.
Maison closed his computer and went out to look at the Cruxtruder. He also grabbed a bag of chips as a snack. "Dang, that's big." he thought.
He walked back up and waited for a reply.
Kyle found himself stepping through the mess of a house back to his room, a slice of pizza in his mouth, and two more clutched in his right hand before something caught his attention in the mass of crap on the floor. "Oh fuck. I forgot I threw you out." He mumbled through his slice as he stooped down and retrieved the SBURB game disc. He'd thrown it out when it hadn't worked in his DVD player last night. Silently cursing at himself, he went back into his room, closing the door silently before letting out a sigh. His Uncle hadn't stopped him. Settling himself back down at the Computer, he inserted SBURB, waiting for it to begin installation as he chewed on his pizza. He decided to pester aa by herself, since she seemed to be progressing the most. May as well ask her what the hell he needs to do to make these chums happy.
(I'm just gonna use real time for game time, just sayin')
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 20:40
NA: Okay, the game is installing.
NA: Once it does, what do I do then? Because it seems like somehow you're fucking with pd, and I wanna fuck with someone.
NA: Also, why did guys want me to play again?
NA: I don't see what all the hype is about.
nofuxArmada [NA] ceased pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 20:41 nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 20:41
Alex had been looking around PD's house in a rapid search for whatever... sword thing he needed her to drop on the cruxtruder, but once again was bombarded by messages. As much as she would've loved to chat, she needed to get this done. But... curiosity kills the cat, now doesn't it.
avianAstronomer [AA] replied to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
AA: Yes, that was the loud noise
AA: I swear no one has broken into your house
AA: And if they did I could probably throw a chair at their head or something
AA: As a side note, I'm sorry, but I'm probably going to have to take a note out of NA's book and just chuck your bed at the thing
AA: I can't find your 'sword' for the life of me
=============
avianAstronomer [AA] replied to nofuxArmada [NA] at 20:45
AA: I do that all the time, it's fine
AA: Pesterchum's design is effective, but also kind of stupid
AA: As for the game, I'm kind of lost myself
AA: It's definitely fun to move stuff around and threaten to maul someone's house if they don't listen to you
AA: But most of what I'm doing is based entirely upon assumption
AA: You'll probably be connecting to me, and you'll be able to manipulate my environment like I'm doing to PD's, except hopefully with less bed shenanigans
AA: Then again, the cursor is kind of hard to work
AA: What's next, someone's bathtub in the hallway?
AA: As for why we wanted you to play, I'm not really sure, you'd probably have to ask PD, it was his idea
AA: I thought this was some kind of MMORPG and I was clearly very very wrong
Completely ignoring the 2x Pesterchum combo that just unfolded on her desktop, the girl was just about at her wits end. Did this sword even exist? Probably not, she concluded, staying true to her word and picking up PD's bed only to sling it at the Cruxtruder. In a somewhat anticlimactic manner, the lid popped off as the bed was thrown against it. The sleeping apparatus bounced off in the opposite direction in a somewhat not-broken condition, clearing the room for... what? Out of the cruxtruder popped a glowing orb flashing so quickly and flittering around so erratically that it should've come with an epilepsy warning. Maybe she was supposed to click it? She quickly stopped herself. Bad idea. She didn't even want to be near that thing, in truth. Oh, wait, she completely forgot to do something.
AA: PD!
AA: Uhh
AA: Look out I'm gonna throw your bed!
AA: ...
AA: My timing is awful
Nonetheless, her reckless bed-slinging behaviour had opened up space in his room to deploy one of two remaining items in the phernalia registry. This one was called the "totem lathe" and was significantly smaller than the previously deployed object. She wondered what it did, but at the same time she didn't bother pestering PD. He'd figure it out eventually. Plus, he already had what Alex had coined a 'glowing condensed migraine' on his hands. She repeated the words out loud, then shook her head. It had sounded cooler in her mind. Nonetheless, the third object, the 'Alchemiter' was easily bigger than both of the previously deployed objects combined. There had to be somewhere to put it, but... where? Upon looking for a spot, she stumbled across the replica sword she had been looking for earlier. Go figure. Nonetheless, she continued searching and waiting for a response from her chums.
PersistentDarkness started pestering avianAstronomer [AA]
PD: A timer started on the Cruxtruder.
PD the glowing thing went outside.
PD: It moved near my dead dog's grave.
PD: I hate coming out here, but i do know my over sized sword is out here, Though it is kinda useless.
PD: The thing's gravitating towards the dog statue on top.
PD: wait, it touched it and now its glowing!
PD: oh, my, god.
PD: the thing fused with my dog.
PD: I'm going inside.
Maison ran inside and checked the timer, then he picked up the Cruxite dowel and hurried to the totem lathe and slammed the thing in.
Maison went to grab his chips, but spilled them on the totem lathe. "Whoa, its carving the Cruxite dowel"
PersistentDarkness started pestering avianAstronomer [AA]
PD: i think i need to take the totem to the Alchemiter
PD: I'm placing it on a pedestal.
PD: the platform on the Alchemiter is glowing and... it's a Dorito chip. Great.
PD: oh crap a meteor is coming. What do?
"well if I'm gonna die, i guess i should eat the chip. wait.... Woah! what just happened?"
After what was seemingly mere moments after finding a location for the alchemiter, Alex's screen went black. Had she... what? Just...? Huh? The girl was completely lost in what had just unfolded in the past few seconds, almost. Was... PD dead? Probably not, judging by the fact that he had just shot her a message on Pesterchum, unless he was now haunting his laptop as a ghost or some of that sort of bs.
Alex laughed nervously whilst her fingers twitched over the keyboard. Despite being completely indescisive on her judgement earlier, she had now definitely decided that the game was indeed the most horrendous thing that she had seen and would ever hope to live through. Her shaking hands tapped out a message on the main memo board, hoping her friend would respond and confirm he had not just been burnt into a pile of ash.
avianAstronomer [AA] replied to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
AA: PD?
AA: Are..... you alrighty there
AA: You said something about a meteor
AA: That.
AA: That's bad.
It certainly wasn't the most intelligent thing that she had written, but it would still provoke a response if he. Y'know. Wasn't dead. However, if a meteor had been coming for him... did that mean...
Not really wanting to get up, Alex propelled the wheeled chair across the room to the nearest window only to discover that she, too, had a firey orb of burnt rock hurtling towards her home. Sure, it seemed distant, barely a speck in the sky, but she'd peered at the sky enough to know that didn't mean it would stay that way for long. She frantically wheeled back to her monitor, pestering her other friend in a manner that could only be described as 'I might die within the next few minutes and I'm terrified and I don't do well under pressure so listen here.'
avianAstronomer [AA] replied to nofuxArmada [NA] at 21:02
AA: Heyy NA
AA: I know I literally just bothered you like ten minutes ago
AA: Or smth
AA: But it's gotten more serious
AA: I need you to connect to me as my server ASAP
AA: Yes that means you'll get to mess up everything in my home but please don't
AA: You'll need to deploy the three free items in the Phernalia Registry somewhere in my house, I don't care where
AA: Apparently the reality-warping properties of the game also causes a meteor to be summoned towards your fricking house
AA: They definitely left out that detail on the startup guide
AA: But please do it quickly, the game will pretty much set itself up to connect to me
AA: Being crushed by a meteor would be a pretty awful way to go...
Trying desperately to avoid flipping out completely, Alex decided to be somewhat strategic. Sprinting downstairs, she pushed furniture off the side, hopefully to make room for the impractically large game items. Seeing as she had no server player, the girl had literally no idea whether it would work or not. After all, the items showed no real dimensions on screen, and she was not about to do math to find out what they were. Still in a state of mild shock, she sauntered down the hallway to find the heaviest object she could: in this case a sledgehammer that she had in her closet. Could she fight with it? Absolutely not, but it would definitely do to quickly throw at the cruxtruder thing to release the orb of seizures that apparently fuses with your dead pets. Or maybe not just pets. Maybe it fuses with anything? All of these ifs, ands, and buts were really getting to Alex. She wrapped her arms around the oversized mallet and hid in the corner in a shaking, terrified heap. NA'd better hurry up, or she was likely a goner.
Kyle waited. The black screen registering what he'd clicked. He was a little upset at the lack of options to click, he enjoyed tampering with the options and controls. Nevertheless, something finally appeared on his screen.
"Whoa. Hello, beautiful." Kyle grinned as he leaned in, looking about the girls room. As he'd expected, it was clean. At least cleaner than his own. He sat back and looked about his own room, beginning to feel shameful of his living quarters. He opened Pester chum to alert her of his situation, when he found she'd been messaging him for some time. Phernalia Registry? What the hell is that? Without replying first, he looked at her room, and noticed a menu bar of some sort. So, of course, he clicked on it to see what would happen. Several items appeared below the tool in a bar. Three appeared solid while the others had a transparent look to them, making him assume the solid ones were accessible. He hovered the odd shaped pointer on one item. It displayed the name as a 'Cruxtruder'. Whatever the hell that is. So, of course, he clicked on it, and dragged it to her room, letting it drop beside her bed. He figured he may as well contact her now, so he did just that.
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 01:27
NA: Alright, I'm in. I put the weird thing next to your bed if you hadn't noticed.
NA: Cruxthingamajig.
NA: Your room is nice. Definitely cleaner than mine.
NA: Do you always make that face when you concentrate?
NA: It's cute.
NA: Alright, I'll stop being a nuisance now. Just tell me what to do next.
She had enough room in there for another item. Maybe...
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 01:32
NA: Also, surprise Alchemiter thing. Consider it a late birthday present for all the ones I missed.
NA: I don't think I ever apologized about those...
NA: So I'll say sorry now.
NA: In preparation for your next one. If I miss it.
NA: Again.
PersistentDarkness started pestering avianAstronomer[AA] PD: I'm staring down from my window.
PD: My house is on top of a giant stick of land.
PD: I don't even think I'm on earth anymore
PD: Wait... oh god!
PD: Small black creatures with Bulldog faces are climbing the cliff.
PD: I don't think this is a simulation game anymore.
PD: I'm gonna try and get my sword replica.
PD: Try and see if you can get the view port working.
Max ran down and encountered his step dad fighting the creatures and getting taken away. Maison rolled outside and found his sword.
and dragged it back inside... very, very slowly. By the time he had gotten inside, his dad had disappeared. An imp walked to the front door and opened it. Max raised the sword above his head, making him exhausted. "whoa!" Maison dropped the sword on the imp. The sword became stuck in the floor.
PersistentDarkness started pestering avianAstronomer[AA] PD: can you pick the sword from the ground and swing it at enemies? PD: or can you still not see me?
PD: I collected some grist, or whatever.
PD: I think we can build with it.
Alex, having heard the thump from upstairs, decided (read as: attempted) to stop screaming internally for a hot second so she could actually get something done. Carrying the sledgehammer with her, she walked to her computer, first reading the messages her chums had shot. Geez, it really only did take a few minutes before she got flooded. She tapped out a response as quickly as she could, admittedly still in panic mode. Then again, anyone would probably do the same if there was a literal meteor coming for their home... haha... right? Alex suddenly had the glaring realisation that she was probably just a huge wuss.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering nofuxArmada [NA] at 01:28
AA: Nevermind birthdays!!!
AA: Not important rn
AA: Thanks for deploying the stuff
AA: Got to go and do the thing now
AA: after you deploy the third thingy
AA: Ill get back to you!!
avianAstronomer [AA]started pestering persistentDarkness [PD] at 1:29
AA: What
AA: Dogs??
AA: Thats really weird but i guess theres a lot of dog monsters in myths and stuff so???
AA: I can see you again
AA: but
AA: I dont have much time
AA: Ill just
AA: Get your sword and chuck it at smth
AA: Building has to wait!!
AA: sorry!!!
In her panic, she had completely neglected to attend to her duties as a server player. Seeing as the screen had turned back to one with an image on it as opposed to black like it was before, the girl quickly clicked on PD's sword, dislodging it from the floor and flinging it at the nearest dog-faced enemy. The black creature quickly went down, bowling into a few others of similar canine stature. Unfortunately, this lodged the blade into the floorboards once more. Alex figured a somewhat more permanent solution was to just... pick up up and lay it at the boy's feet. He'd know how to use it, right? Right! Haha... she was still a panicked mess.
Somewhat selfishly, she decided to now take care of her own problems. She slung the sledgehammer over her shoulder as she ascended the staircase to the place where she had heard the loud thump. She ended up at her room, where, true to NA's word, the large cruxtruder sat smack-dab in the middle. It looked much like she had seen from her viewport on her computer but... much bigger. Heck, could she even reach the top? She furiously drummed her fingers upon her leg, like the nervous wreck she was currently before suddenly remembering just how imminent the threat was. There was only one way to find out, Alex supposed. She gripped the sledgehammer with a second hand, holding it over head as high as she could (which notably wasn't very high). Her noodle-like arms could only hold out for so long, however, and she knew it. Taking a leap, she swung the mallet over her head, releasing it at the top of the Cruxtruder. With a stroke of luck, the mallet hit its mark, knocking the lid clean off the device. However, the sledgehammer didn't stop there, continuing its arc and crashing straight through the window behind the game abstraction. Hopefully she wouldn't need that later. Needless to say, she now had a completely different 'problem' of sorts on her hands. Popping the cork on the Cruxtruder had not only released the glowy blinking orb that would likely drive her to insanity, but it had also started a timer of some sorts that read... fifteen minutes! There was no possible way that was good, seeing as the only thing it could possibly mean was fifteen minuscule slivers of time until her demise. Plus, what would she do with the glowy thing? PD had his fuse with his pet, right? 'Prototyping,' the manual called it? She didn't have a pet! Sure, her neighbors did, but she wasn't going outside at all, much less snatching someone's dog. What option did she have?
She suddenly remembered her broken window, the fact that a tree was growing almost right next to such, and the birdhouse that hung from a branch within arm's reach. Alex scampered over to the gaping hole in her house, reached over the broken shards of glass that threatened to stab her in the arm, and snatched the wooden house from its perch. Sure enough, inside was a small, grey bird with bright orange cheeks: a zebra finch. Normally, the girl would've asked questions like 'They aren't native here, why is it in my birdhouse?' or 'Geez that's two super lucky things in a row, why did that happen?' but at the moment her brain was too scrambled to do so. The poor bird was doomed to die if she left it here, after all, and she needed to prototype something. Sticking as much of her hand as she could inside of the object, she grabbed the poor unsuspecting animal and held it up to the rapidly flashing kernelsprite. The glowing seizure orb greedily lunged from the other side of the room, and the girl dropped the bird directly on it, shielding her eyes with her hands at the resultant flash. Not wasting time to see what the resultant monstrosity was, the girl painstakingly cranked out a dowel of cruxite. It was a somewhat dusty shade of dark grey-blue, not unlike the flash of colour she had seen after prototyping her kernel, oddly. Maybe there was a correlation? She picked up the mildly metallic tube as it hit the floor, what did she do next? Wait... she needed the totem lathe! However, with her arms full and her unwillingness to drop the precious tube, she couldn't pester NA to do so. Wait, she could hear the thump through her speakers, right? Could he hear her if she spoke? Worth a shot. "Hey, uhh, the totem lathe would be really appreciated right now!" She said to hopefully her server player, readjusting the somewhat large object in her hands. She would've crossed her fingers, had she been able to. After all, this was quite literally life or death, and neither one of such accepts a slip up.
Kyle watched as AA went about nervously. He noticed she'd moved aside things in her living room, and figured he should have put the massive thing in there. Nonetheless, he still had one more object to deploy. The 'Totem lathe'. What a dumb sounding name. Kyle dragged the Totem lathe into the Living Room, setting it down in the center of the room, before returning his attention back to AA.
Kyle barely heard her speak, and had to turn up the volume, only to hear '-appreciated right now!'
Kyle furrowed his eyebrows. "Can you repeat that?" He asked, before realizing that she probably couldn't hear him. Then he noticed the greyish-blue tube thingamajig in her arms. Deciding to pay attention to what she did next, hoping she'd heard the thumb of the totem lathe downstairs, he'd need this lesson for when the time comes for him to shine. She seemed busy at the moment, and as much as he'd love to flirt, he understood that she probably wouldn't appreciate it at the moment. That was when he remembered about the meteor she'd mentioned, and he hadn't heard grim PD, or GG in a while. But they were guys. Who would he flirt with? Oh, wait, the meteor, right. Not that he would flirt with it, but he needed a bit more info on that bundle of blazing hot joyful fire and destruction hurtling towards his friend that he'd never actually seen before, and was quite impressed with what he saw.
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 21:31
NA: Hey, I put your Totem lathe in the living room.
NA: Why is this my first time seeing you?
NA: Also, how big is the meteor heading for you? Like, dinosaur extinction big?
NA: And that shit with the bird was fucking cool.
NA: You're my new favorite friend.
NA: Love me.
NA: Sorry if I'm annoying you.
NA: Lol, like those stupid adds you get from stupid shit.
NA: Reply STOP to stop all messages.
NA: Lol. Good luck.
Kyle felt proud of himself. For what? He had no idea. Maybe it was the fact that AA actually DID turn out to be female, and he still didn't get nervous when talking to her. A sure sign that one day, Kyle would become a man. Speaking of becoming men, he had to find out what was up with PD, since he was in the game and shit. Further than AA perhaps?
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering persistentDarkness [PD] at 21:31
NA: Hey man, what are you doing?
NA: Aren't you in the game or something?
NA: I'm helping out AA.
NA: You think she's single? I haven't asked.
NA: Wait, did you get hit by a meteor? Are you dead?
NA: I'm sorry dude, but we discussed this three years ago. If you ever died, I wasn't coming to your funeral, remember?
NA: Anyways, if you're dead, can I have your shades?
NA: Not like you'll need them anymore.
NA: But is she single? I mean have you SEEN her?
NA: I'll just stop talking now.
Kyle leaned back in his seat, letting out a sigh. He had a lot on his mind. AA, the meteor, GG's whereabouts, and when the hell he gets to play this game to, minus the setting down Alchem lathes and Cruxmiters and Totem trudors or whatever.
The girl breathed a huge sign of relief as she heard a responding thump that was presumably the lathe hitting the floor... or her bird prototyping thing slamming against the wall. Luckily, upon lugging the dowel down a flight of stairs, the totem lathe was indeed somewhat centred in her living room. Apparently NA had heard her, how convenient, even if it was only one way. "Thank you, I didn't honestly think that would work... but that's good to know I guess?" she said once more to no visible entity. Even if it did work, it didn't stop feeling incredibly dumb. Alex set down the blue rod onto the lathe, feeling as if a huge burden had been lifted from her arms. Geez, there really had to be an easier way to do that. How heavy was that thing even, twenty pounds? Then again, in her version of measurement, 'twenty pounds' was probably equivalent to around five real pounds. However, she didn't have time to be disappointed at her strength (or lack thereof), seeing as the dowel she'd placed on the somewhat mysterious machine had been carved into something that appeared almost like an incredibly stupid vase. Nonetheless, she couldn't really complain, seeing as it was much easier to carry.
Not bothering to investigate the source of the rapid cascade of various pings coming from her computer, she practically ran upstairs, definitely not almost tripping in her rapid ascent. Alex soon reached the alchemiter, only to realise that she had literally no idea what she was doing. Had she been watching when PD was going through this step? Not really. She had been reading the provided 'instructions,' if they could even be called that, and attempting to make heads or tails of the both confusing and utterly useless information provided. Simply slapping the totem onto the large platform in the centre did absolutely nothing, as did placing it on the smaller platform that seemed to have been intended for such. This baffled her, as there clearly wasn't a button that needed to be pressed or a lever to be switched to the 'on' position. Maybe she just needed to... step back and wait? Seeing as that was really the only option for now, she reluctantly took a couple of steps away, glancing at the alchemiter as its timer dropped to an incredibly concerning five minutes. Maybe she could... get something done while she waited? Her computer was all the way downstairs, so pesterchum wasn't an optio-
Alex slapped herself on the forehead. Of course it was still an option! She pulled her phone out from her pocket, quickly turning it on. Pesterchum, like other communication platforms, also had a slower, crappier mobile app that users could log in to if they were willing to dodge and weave around the slew of ads that were likely the only think keeping the program on its legs. Tapping the icon, she opened the app and checked the responses she'd gotten from NA.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering nofuxArmada [NA] at 21:36
AA: Its really the first time any of us have seen eachother for some reason
AA: and Im incredibly flattered but still have to talk quickly
AA: as for the meteor
AA: Does it matter how big it is really??
AA: Its definitely big enough to wipe out my entire neighbourhood
AA: but not the entire planet
AA: if that helps
AA: thank you by the way
AA: for the luck I mean
AA: I have the feeling we're all really going to need it.
The girl looked up from her phone screen as yet another ad played to notice that the totem had indeed started an automated process and produced what appeared to be a blue... lamp? At least it appeared to be a lamp, bar for the fact that it completely lacked a lampshade, and wasn't producing any light. Oddly enough, while the rest of it was blue, the lightbulb itself appeared to be black, like it had burnt itself out. Running a finger along its surface, however, proved quite the opposite. It was just... incredibly dirty. She almost went to the bathroom to grab a towel, before realising that the timer on the cruxtruder only read two minutes remaining. In response to such, she frantically rubbed it with her hand and a nearby piece of felt from some sort of abandoned sewing project. After about a minute of scrubbing, the light was nearly spotless, and emulated a soft, blue glow. However... nothing happened. What? That was the puzzle, right? She had to just clean the light off with something so it would shine? No! Apparently it wasn't! Not at all! So what was the second step then? She tried pulling at the lamp's cord, but to no avail. It still shone brighter than ever, despite her efforts. Did she have to break it? Maybe she had to break it. But that wouldn't make sense, would it? To clean it off just to destroy the thing? No, not at all, but neither did the rest of this game. But everything else had some kind of logic, this just... didn't. Her eyes flicked to the timer and... oh god.
0:05
No wonder the room had gotten so warm! The lamp wasn't the thing getting brighter, it was definitely the fiery mass outside that was now five seconds away from striking her dead!
0:04
The girl bit her tongue to stop herself from outright screaming. What could she do! She instinctively knew breaking it wouldn't help, and tugging on the cord was useless, what else was there!
0:03
In a panic, she grabbed it and flipped it upside-down. No dice. The air had become blisteringly hot, and the smell of sulphur hung like a thick fog in the air. Outside was a roaring inferno, every tree in the vicinity having been caught ablaze. The sky itself seemingly burned with the heat of the massive rock, she noted. If she had wanted a chance to see the clouds for one last time, such an opportunity had surely been missed.
0:02
Realising she had just wasted precious time, she flipped the lamp back in the correct direction, placing it back on the alchemiter. This was completely pointless. Alex had made many jokes before about what her last words would be, but in this scenario, she was at a complete loss. No witty statements or middle fingers to the universe, just... nothing. She stood frozen, eyes fixed on the artifact that had caused her demise.
0:01
The light flickered off, and the Rogue's vision was plunged into darkness.
Kyle ceased his tensing as the screen went blank, and he furrowed his eyebrows. He had been growing anxious simply as he watched her struggle, and the red hue had increased quickly, until... nothing. He could only asume the meteor had hit, and she was... dead? Quickly, Kyle pulled up Pesterchum to find that she had indeed replied.
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 21:31
NA: Are you dead?
NA: Please tell me your not dead.
NA: You were the first girl that actually talked to me without calling me a perv!
NA: This really fucking sucks.
NA: You didn't have to go, not like this.
NA: I don't know what to do.
NA: And I'm typing to a dead person.
NA: If you are dead.
NA: Are you?
NA: Why do the hot ones always gotta die first, I mean, just look at Friday the 13th. Perfect proof.
NA: ... Does this mean a meteor is coming my way?
NA: Shit.
Kyle quickly got up from his computer as he looked out of the grimy window he probably needed to clean to see that there was in fact, a star in the blue sky. Either it had to be his own meteor, or Haleys Comet was coming by early. "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuck..." Kyle muttered to himself. "I can't die a virgin!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" A voice yelled from outside the door, and Kyle fell silent, but he continued to nervously pace. What would he do? He had no message back from PD, and this confirmed the kid as good as dead. Then AA. And not even anything else from GG. Kyle began to feal a little lonely in this fucked up Sims game. "Why couldn't we just play Sims 3 or something?" He whispered to himself.
The rapid pings sounding from her phone were enough to bring Alex back to her senses.
She lay on the floor on her back, staring at the familiar off-white ceiling. Was she dead? Judging by the fact that literally everything still felt chapped and sore, probably not. Whatever happened must of... knocked her back maybe? That didn't really sound right, but she decided to just go with it. After all, that's what she'd been doing for the entirety of their session. Her disbelief had already been metaphorically suspended a few thousand miles into the atmosphere, so what was a couple more?
After standing up and looking around, she discovered that she was definitely still in her house. Nothing had changed, really. Her phone was blowing up, her hands were still smeared with whatever was on her artifact, and the alchemiter and cruxtruder were both taking up all available space. Seeing as she had thought PD was dead at first, she decided it would be best to respond to the alerts she was getting from pesterchum, because she was. Well. Not dead.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering nofuxArmada [NA] at 21:41
AA: I'm alive
AA: Or at least no signs are telling me otherwise
AA: Geez, it feels good to actually have time to type correctly instead of just sending broken fragments of sentences and text abbreviations
AA: But
AA: Did you even know I was a girl?
AA: I mean we all knew each other's names but I guess Alex isn't really gender specific
AA: ......
AA: ...On another note entirely
AA: And a meteor is likely heading for your house as well, I regret to inform you
AA: Hopefully you'll have more time than I got
AA: But no promises as every mechanic of this game seems to exist to directly or indirectly screw us over
AA: : (
A blur of color dashed across the floor in front of her, followed by a rush of air. Alex looked up from her phone in suprise, meeting eye-to eye with what she realised was the bird kernel. It was definitely no longer round like it had been formerly, now resembling something closer to an ethereal, legless finch that was easily as tall as she was. The little bird, now combined with the abstraction, had almost completely lost all of its colourful markings, replaced in turn with varying shades of the same dark blue as her dowel of cruxite. It seemed just as confused as she was on the matter, tilting its head at what a human would consider an unnatural angle in a manner that was both peculiar and endearing. Wait... could it... do anything? Maybe this was the game's way of saying 'Hey, sorry we destroyed your planet. Here's some much needed compensation,' but that seemed kind of stupid if it didn't do anything. Nonetheless, Alex decided to try talking to it anyway. After all, nothing thus far had been a completely useless piece of crap. Her Sprite likely followed the same rules.
AA: Hello?
AA: Can...
AA: Can you talk? Finchsprite: tweet AA: :0 Finchsprite: beep beep! AA: This is a Christmas miracle.
AA: Except it's July....
AA: And everything is awful.
AA: But now it's just that ALMOST everything is awful.
AA: Which is a huge step up. Finchsprite: thats good then :> AA: Wait WHAT? Finchsprite: peep AA: So you CAN talk
AA: Like for real
AA: That's really frickin' awesome. Finchsprite: do you have any seeds?
Finchsprite: or fruit?
Finchsprite: fruit is yummy too
Finchsprite: but not the yellow kind
Finchsprite: (xvx)
Finchsprite: its gross
Finchsprite: also do you know where she is?
Finchsprite: the other human?
Finchsprite: i used to sit on her finger but i think im too big now AA: Oh...
AA: You were someone's pet. Finchsprite: yes i think!
Finchsprite: (^v^) AA: Uhh...
AA: I'll... go get some bird seed... Finchsprite: tweet!
The girl felt incredibly guilty, having not only prototyped a dead person's pet (which she had resolved before not to do) but also had taken advantage of the zebra finch's awful attention span. Heck, the bird probably even had a name that she wasn't using, but how would she know if he remembered it? She had definitely been right before when she said everything in-game existed to screw them over: in this case, psychologically. As an apology, she grabbed the entire bag of bird seed (not like she'd need it) and attempted to drag it upstairs like she had everything else thus far. However, she only made it up one singular step before the giant bag popped into nonexistance. Alex blinked in confusion for a moment. What? Where'd it go? Heck no, she needed that back immediately. She was going to physically sue the universe if it didn't- WHUMPH
The bag of seed returned, effectively knocking her down the small amount of the staircase she actually had climbed. Along with it was a single pink, card-shaped item and a similarly shaped-item second item bar for the fact that it was green. Both cards once flipped over had a list of options, but Alex decided to read through the pink card's first. Every one of them ended in the word '-modus,' and they appeared to be... customisation options? Alex immediately opted to click the most ridiculous one of the bunch, labelled the 'Siri modus.' Immediately the card changed from a pink hue to a cascade of purple, red, and blue; not dissimilar to the colours shown on the iPhone's microphone when talking to the awful voice to text AI. Not having to be instructed how to use it, Alex immediately pushed the button on the centre of the card and spoke into it. "Siri, store birdseed," she said, prompting the voice to say back "Captchaloging burnt steed." The girl got a quick chuckle out of that, before deciding to try again. "Captchalogue bird seed."
"I don't know what you mean by, 'captchalogue proceed'"
"Captchalogue birdseed!"
"Captchaloging birdseed..."
The bag of seed disappeared from her arms, embedding itself cleanly in her presumable 'inventory' along with... was that a charred horse toy? Correction: a faded, somewhat transparent image of a charred horse toy? Nonetheless, Alex was already fed up with this organisation system. She somehow made the main card appear back into her hands in an attempt to change the settings, only to learn that all of the options were gone. Apparently this poor decision was permanent, or at least stuck like this until she could change it again.
Deciding to not make the same mistake with the second card, she looked over her options carefully. They all seemed to be weapons or objects of some sort (hence the word strife on the card, she presumed), although she had absolutely no idea how someone would manage to weaponise 'fncysntakind.' While she would've loved to choose some sort of thing that allowed her to use one of the antique weapons she loves, there were two problems. 1.) She didn't actually own any weapons like such, seeing as she was too broke to buy any. 2.) She had no idea how to work them outside of 'in theory.' Sure, she could change the HTML code of a website, but she definitely couldn't keep a straight enough arm to fire her nonexistent medieval crossbow. Playing it safe, she chose the only one that she could probably actually wield without much effort: batkind. She made the selection, transforming the card's blank middle into a pixelated picture of a baseball bat. After all, anyone could swing a bat, right? Perfect... sort of.
She brought the bag of seed up to her new guide, which he greatfully ate (thankfully not becoming part birdseed in the process), releasing it from her modus after a few frustrating tries. However, it did seem that no one had learned about this feature yet, right? She decided to pester her friends on the memo about her new discovery.
avianAstronomer [AA] replied to avianAstronomer's [AA] memo
AA: Guys!
AA: The game has an inventory thing!
AA: I'm not sure how I got them, but there's two cards with a bunch of options on them.
AA: The pink one lets you set up how your inventory is organised and the green one lets you set up your weapon.
AA: I'm still figuring it out, but let me just say don't choose something you'll regret even for a joke
AA: I did that and now I'm stuck with talking to Siri to get stuff in and out of my inventory.
AA: Needless to say, while trying to feed bird seed to my guide sprite bird thing I got stuck with faint images of some mead, a partially burnt horse toy, and about two dozen pumpkins because apparently that's what it defaults to when it can't understand what you said.
AA: TL;DR if you get the cards be smart with your choices because you can't change them.
That's all she could really do before anyone responded, so the girl simply sat watching her sprite devour what was left of the feed. Geez, she hoped she had more. Despite the fact that it was probably the only pro so far about the game, her sprite could still eat a lot. She reached under her nearby bed and grabbed the generic brand baseball bat that had been shoved under and forgotten a while back and waited for a reply.
Maison had Been gathering supplies when he spotted a Giant Ogre coming. he had Prototyped his sprite with bulldog plush as he knew it wouldn't really affect the personality of his dog. *WOOF* The sprite glowed and a card flew out at Maison hitting him in the face. "opposite Modus?" Max found out that it was an inventory system through pesterchum on his portable laptop. he grabbed his sword and captchalogued it. He also captchalogued a bowl to see how it works. When he tried to get the bowl his sword flew out. He sorta kinda knew how to work the item system. He recaptchalogued the sword. Maison looked on the wiki for SBURB and found you could combine items, then grabbed all of his stuff and went to the alchemizer to make new weapons. "time to make my game items and make them real. combining the Knife and the Buster sword created the Sharpened Buster Sword, combining his laptop with his cheap, plastic scouter created the Scouter... Heck yeah! Combining the Scouter, the psycho-pass dominator usb he had gotten from loot crate, and a Nerf gun, finally he created the Energy pistol after noticing the Pug Ogre coming towards his house. "time to put my skills to work." he said, while reading the power level of the Ogre. Maison tried to uncaptchalogue the pistol but instead got the sword through the backwards mechanics of the opposite Modus.
"AAAAAAAAAH!" Max smashed the Buster Sword down onto the ogre and pulled out the pistol while jumping. "Man, need to create a grappling hook." he said. "Pew Pew! take that, Pew!" He knocked the Ogre off the Cliff and ran to his room, dodging imps left and right. He found the Arm cannon and set it to Grapple beam configuration. time to make the grappling beam. he ran down and pulled out the Energy pistol. He created the Energy Grapple. "Yeahhh!!!" Maison swung around his house while shooting imps.
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 18:22
NA: Oh shit, she loves.
NA: Lives*
NA: Yeah, I'm basically screwed. I can see the meteor, but I have no host or whatever! Wait, you wouldn't be able to host me too, would you?
NA: GG is being dumb again.
NA: By not doing shit.
NA: I thought we told him I was a bad influence.
NA: Wait, your name is Alex? I don't think you ever told me.
NA: I never asked.
NA: Did I ever tell you my name is Kyle?
NA: Anyways, I always kinda hoped you were a girl, but never really tried to confirm it. If I'd known sooner I could've actually started trying out my pickup lines.
NA: Are you single?
NA: Nevermind that question. I should REALLY get those item things now.
NA: Plus, I want a pet bird thing. That sprite thing would be cool.
Kyle found himself lost in thought. GG was still being completely irresponsible and quiet, which was too much like Kyle. It was unsettling. Regardless, he had literally no way of surviving this fucking meteor without help. He needs those weird tools to do weird shit and somehow survive. On the downside things were looking too bleak, he figured it would be okay if his Uncle died too. God, that man is disgusting.
Realizing that if AA, or Alex, could connect to him, then he needed to clean up. It would be far too embarrassing for her to see all this. Quickly, he began to clean up his room. Opening his door, he found that his Uncle wasn't near, so he began tossing trash and old clothes into the room, clearing out the nonimpprtant things first.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering nofuxArmada [NA] at 22:47
AA: Yep, I'm alive!
AA: Thankfully.
AA: But...
AA: I thought we all knew each other's names?
AA: I guess not.
AA: I'm Alex, in that case
AA: Well really I'm Alexis, but Alex is slightly more convenient.
AA: Anyway, not really super important.
AA: I'm gonna completely ignore the flirting comments for now because this is probably urgent.
AA: You can see the meteor?
AA: That's definitely not good.
AA: That either means you have even LESS time than I did or the meteors are getting exponentially bigger with each connection.
AA: With the luck we've been having so far, probably both.
AA: But about the connection thing
AA: I'm not sure that would work?
AA: My computer's not even letting me exit out of the game and return to my desktop to doodle on MS paint, much less create a whole new connection.
AA: You'd probably need a whole new copy of Sburb for that, and I have no idea what happens if you were to take the game out of your disc drive while someone was connected to you.
AA: For all I know this is like Digimon, but with more death and destruction, in which people physically enter the computer or something after doing whatever with the cruxite thingymabob.
AA: The best I can do right now is get on GG's case, he might have accidentally blocked you or something, but there's absolutely no way he blocked all of us.
AA: I'll make sure you get off of earth or whatever the game does, just... uhh... set up your inventory maybe for now?
AA: I put a couple of details in the memo with all of us on it but I don't know if anyone's read them yet.
AA: Also pick what you want to throw into the kernelsprite thingy
AA: I think it has to be an animal like Finchsprite but maybe it can be anything?
AA: It's as good a time as ever to find out.
AA: Anyway, I'm going to go blast GG now until he responds.
AA: Brb
Alex was honestly surprised. She thought they all knew one another's names? At least she did, but maybe they had all told each other at some ungodly hour in the morning and no one remembered? She snapped back to focus. Not important. Finchsprite looked alongside her as she clicked on the purple name on her Pesterchum sidebar. She knew NA was lazy, but completely ignoring your friends while people are literally dying? That's an all-time new low... or a broken Pesterchum client.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering galaxyGamer [GG] at 23:06
AA: Dude
AA: You might have accidentally blocked NA or something but
AA: He REALLY needs your help.
AA: Keeping it short, it's not a game like we thought.
AA: Everything is hella real and downloading and playing the game causes a meteor to rocket towards your house
AA: NA's meteor is literally IN SIGHT which by meteor standards is PRETTY FRICKING CLOSE TO KEEP IT SHORT
AA: So you NEED to connect to him or he will die more than just on the inside.
AA: GG
AA: Dude
AA: Galaxy
AA: Gamerboy
AA: Spaceman
AA: Gamebro magazine
AA: A crapton of stars held together by gas in space dude that spends his entire life playing video games
AA: Starchild
AA: Galactic-tac
AA: Come on!!
AA: I'm running out of stupid names spoofed from your chumhandle!
AA: Just answer already!
AA: I know you have the games installed just connect or something!!!
AA: It's not an impossible task!
AA: C
AA: O
AA: M
AA: E
AA: .
AA: O
AA: N
AA: N
AA: N
AA: N
AA: N
AA: !!!
AA: !!!!!!
Alex, unfortunately, was also having trouble getting a hold of him. Her panic meter was kickstarted once more. Heck, everyone on Earth was probably dying, but this game provided a chance to escape that, yet one of their friends who could potentially be literally the last humans with a chance of survival wasn't responding? Why? Taking a deep breath, Alex headed downstairs once more to check on PD's progress. After all... she was still a server player too, right? Clicking out of Pesterchum and checking the game screen served as a painful reminder of what might happen if the game's connection loop wasn't completed, but haha cool whatever everything's fine right, right!
Surprisingly, he seemed to be progressing... really well his grist caches were skyrocketing, the monsters were being taken down in hordes, his sprite was... still a dog, but despite that he didn't seem to have any problems. Using up some of his grist, she deployed a device called the... 'punch designix?' Alright, she had to admit it at this point. That was a really stupid name. However, it turned out to be fairly straightforward seeing as PD seemingly immediately figured it out, creating a crapton of items via stashing things in his inventory, punching the cards, and then alchemizing them as they had their cruxite totems. Geez, she'd have to tell NA to deploy one of those after he got out of his... predicament. Speaking of which, GG STILL hadn't graced her or anyone else with his online presence... then again it had only been a few minutes. But what else could she do? It's not like she could just go outside and buy another copy. Heck, Sburb wasn't even in stores yet! She had to apply for beta testing and only then got the physical copy mailed to her. She wasn't even on Earth anymore probably! She couldn't go to the store even if she wanted to! Speaking of which... what even was outside? She stopped herself before she galavanted out the door. Nope, not important. First she had to wait for GG to respond, then she could go outside and do... well... whatever she planned to do outside. Explore, she supposed? Hope whereever she was didn't immediately start trying to kill her? Come to think of it, going outside didn't seem like a good plan in the first place anymore. She could just wait inside with Finchsprite or something. Alex sat her phone down on the table, ready to spring at the first sign of a response.
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering avianAstronomer [AA] at 21:53
NA: Thank you. You're an absolute life saver.
NA: Well, not yet.
NA: But through cause and effect.
NA: Maybe get PD to host me if Galaxy 'Goner' doesn't help.
NA: Also, you said that you wouldn't respond to my flirting 'right now'. That means it's cool later, right?
NA: Sorry, I'm antsy. End of my life is at hand, and all that jazz.
NA: Let me get this straight...
NA: I get the Cruxlathe, and hit it hard, to get my Turtle Sprite or whatever.
NA: Then I use the Alchemy Trudor or whatever to get a colored cylinder.
NA: After that, I use the Totemiter to carve my new little cylinder.
NA: But the rest after that becomes increasingly confusing.
Kyle sat still. If GG didn't connect soon, the bastard would be the end of him. "Damnit you purple ass. I always said you'd be the death of me, but I wasn't trying to be ironic, or literal..." He glanced back at his dusty old dresser. If he did get a chance to get a Colonel Sprite thing, or whatever it was called, he remembered Alex telling him about an animal merging with it, but that wasn't really an option. But she assumed anything could work. So would the only nice thing in the room work? Kyle narrowed his eyes at the Dwayne Johnson action figure he'd kept in its box. It was the one from the Furious movies. Luke Hobbs. Maybe, good ol' Dwayne would be of great help to him. Kyle waited for a reply from Alex, or a message from PD or GG, whose names he'd also couldn't remember.
He peeked out the window again, to see that the star wasn't much brighter. So maybe it was just huge. Alex was right, their luck was shit.
Cosmic fell asleep once more and didn't hear any notifications this time. Instead, he woke up after about a half hour. "Damn. My friends are probably already playing the game. If only I slept 18 hours two days ago," he thought. He started connecting to Kyle's client. He was scanning through the pesterchum memos to get more information about the game. Then he saw AA's warnings and his eyes widened. "Is she for real? Fuck, I know NA is rude and all, but he doesn't deserve to die!" Cosmic clicked on "Host Server" and then clicked on a dark green text. He got a black screen and for a second thought he crashed the client. Then something popped up on his screen, a human-like figure and a mostly clean room appeared.
GalaxyGamer [GG] started pestering nofuxArmada [NA] 20:37
GG: NA I think I'm in your room?
GG: The heck do I do?
Cosmic looked back at his room and waited for a response. "His room was clean, unlike what I'd thought it be. If someone comes into my room like I did to NA... meh. My room is pretty normal," he thought. He looked at his fishbowl. He got a goldfish as his first pet a while ago and wondered if he should feed it. Then he turned back to the laptop. "Didn't AA say something about a meteor? Maybe that's gone? Did I somehow fixed the problem?" Cosmic wondered. He saw a bar in his screen that didn't look like it was part of the room. Resisting temptation, Cosmic decided to wait for NA to reply before touching anything in this crazy game.
PersistentDarkness started pestering avianAstronomer[AA] PD: I need you to build a long pole to the, hole thingy in the sky.
PD: I could Grapple up there and my sprite keeps floating up there so... i think i need to go through it.
PD: How is NA doing?
PD: Oh, and i encountered flying imps.
Maison had gathered too much grist and didn't really need to do anything as he'd already found that his sprite could talk and had listened to the story of Prospit and Derse. He could barely wait till he went through the portal.
"Finally!" Kyle practically shouted as Pesterchum dinged, and upon inspection, GG had contacted him.
nofuxArmada [NA] began pestering galaxyGamer [GG] at 13:17
NA: Dude, finally.
NA: Okay, down to business, you open this tool item called 'Phalia Register' or something. I don't remember what it was called, but it's the only tool to select right now.
NA: Then just deploy the three solid items in the tool bar.
NA: After that, let me do the rest, because I'm kinda in a rush right now.
NA: And AA isn't gonna pay attention to my flirting until this drama is over.
NA: And I'll probably have to wait until you get saved too.
NA: So I guess you should also contact PD and have him host you or whatever.
NA: Because I think the meteor starts heading your way the moment you open the game.
NA: Anyways, just deploy those items please. My room is big enough for the smaller two. I'll try and clear a space in the living room for the big one.
NA: For fun, could you lock my Uncle in his bedroom? That would be hilarious.
NA: Alright, I'll let you have a moment to process all this.
Kyle shook his head. It had taken GG long enough, but at least his timing wasn't last minute. With this in mind, Kyle checked on the Asteroid once again. It was getting bigger, and luckily, he couldn't make out anything other than a star. He still had some time.
Seeing as she hadn't gotten a response from GG or NA, she assumed they were probably... talking to each other or something? At least that's what made sense. In that case, she'd succeeded...?
She was going to double-check anyway.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering nofuxArmada [NA] at 18:10
AA: Did he contact you?
AA: He's still ignoring me.
AA: But maybe he just cut to the chase?
AA: And yes
AA: You're right about the game machine thingies.
AA: Sort of...
AA: They all have really weird names for some reason.
AA: Feel free to contact me because I'm pretty sure I know how it works?
AA: Or at least sort of how it works.
AA: But once you get a second, do you think you could deploy something called the 'punch designix?'
AA: Another awful name, I know.
AA: You might not have enough grist to use it though.
AA: I have no idea how much you started with.
AA: Maybe I need to go outside and fight some monsters or something first?
AA: But again, only after you've stopped being in the danger of imminent death.
Whist waiting for a response from either of the two, she decided to talk to her sprite to pass the time. The spectral bird hovered nearby, chattering to itself in a series of beep-like chirps and tweets. Alex was a bit disappointed that it wasn't more vocal (in English, of course, and not in various bird noises) but at the same time, could she really complain? She had a fricking giant ghost bird finch guide thing in her house, and all it demanded in turn for its existence was birdseed, and boy did she have that in abundance. Oh, right, conversation.
AA: So...
AA: Uhh...
AA: Are you a boy or a girl? Finchsprite: im a bird! AA: Well then. Finchsprite: tweet AA: Better question, because it's 2017, you're a bird, and I was just referring to you as 'it' anyway... you're okay with that right? Finchsprite: (^v^) AA: I'll take that as a yes.
AA: Do birds even have politics and stuff like that?
AA: That'd be a good book or game or something.
AA: I'd jokingly volunteer an author, but considering they're probably all dead, I'll refrain from doing so.
AA: Speaking of which:
AA: Do you know anything about the game? Finchsprite: tweet AA: :/
AA: More specific then I guess, how abou- Finchsprite: sometimes i know lots!
Finchsprite: but its all super confusing and i dont really get most of it
Finchsprite: (TvT) AA: Oooh!
AA: Can you tell me some of it?
AA: It's okay if it doesn't make sense, just try your best. Finchsprite: \/(~v~)\/ AA: Darn.
AA: But I guess I've learned that birds are physically capable of shrugging.
AA: Or at least magic, legless, ghost, finch sprite guides are. Finchsprite: beep beep! AA: Maybe you can tell me more if we go outside? Finchsprite: (^v^) b AA: But birds don't have thu-
AA: Y'know what.
AA: I'm just not gonna ask.
Before Alex could even think to leave her house at her sprite's request, she was pestered again; by PD this time. She was supposed to... stack his house? Although that seemed like an odd request, she obliged, quickly using the cursor to copy his house and decided to just... paste it on top of his roof. Of course, this costed quite a bit of grist, but luckily it didn't immediately fall down. Seemingly defying physics, the house stayed put, as if waiting for her to repeat the process. This time, the girl selected both houses, and proceeded to paste those two on top of the originals. This exhausted almost all of the remainder of his available grist, which unfortunately meant that she couldn't continue the process. Not bothering to contact PD on what she'd done (there was absolutely no way he wouldn't notice, considering the size of one house alone), she immediately decided to take her sprite's advice. The girl got off the computer, opened her door, and immediately regretted it.
Before she even got a chance to look outside, she was tackled by a whirl of teeth and claws. The orange creature latched onto the Alex's arm, causing the girl to panic and flail, sending the creature flying towards the wall. Unfortunately, it unfurled its feathered wings in the nick of time, safely gliding to the ground. Its... wings. Oh god, hadn't PD said something about flying imps? And did it have... a bulldog face? ...oh god. She was right when she said absolutely everything in the game existed to screw them over. The monsters gained attributes of the prototyped object! Before she could think to stop cradling her bleeding arm and inform NA that he better not prototype anything stupid, the creature lunged at her once more.
STRIFE!!!
As if by magic, the baseball bat she'd inserted into her strife deck appeared in her hands. Adjusting the wooden now-weapon in her hands, she swung at the ravaging monster. The bat slammed down on its head, knocking it back in surprise. However, seeing as she hadn't done nearly enough damage to off it completely, it immediately stood back up, growling and shifting its bird-like feet on the ground before charging like a bull. She aimed and swung once more, but missed completely as the creature used its wings to dart out of the way and land on her back. Before it could do any real damage, Alex pushed off against the nearby wall and slid across the floor in her socks, which luckily did the trick to knock the imp back on the ground. Before it could strike again, she picked up the nearest object (which happened to be a sneaker), and tossed it at its head. She missed, of course, but it acted as a diversion just long enough for her to get closer and swing her bat.
The creature disappeared, leaving behind a few pieces of what almost looked like either shards of glass or giant beads. Or, y'know, gushers. She reached out to touch one (one that happened to be blue), only to have it immediately disappear. She did the same for the other surrounding pieces, some of which were the same shade of blue and others of which were orange, collecting them all. Maybe it was grist, she thought. After all, PD seemed to have a lot of such after fighting all of his enemies. While she pondered what variant it might be (although the blue was almost definitely the standard build grist), she closed her door. There was absolutely no way Alex was letting that happen a second time. The baseball bat in her hand disappeared once more, but such caused her to notice her injured arm. Seeing as she had next to no medical experience, she opted to grab a few paper towels, put them over the wound, and hold them around her arm with a two long strips of Scotch Tape. She sincerely hoped that such a monster didn't carry some kind of disease. In that circumstance, she was entirely screwed.
Having completely forgotten about the fact that she should've told Kyle about her prototyping effect discovery, Alex once more got onto her computer to check PD's progress. Not much more had happened from her viewpoint (but she could be wrong, she didn't really know), but there was absolutely no way she was going outside. Not yet, anyway. The 'Planet' in the 'Medium' where she was located was clearly home to a plethora of hostile creatures: and she had a sinking feeling that the one she just fought was only a starter enemy.
nofuxArmada began pestering avianAstronomerat 01:30
NA: He contacted me, but hasn't replied back since. I told him what to do but nothing is happening.
NA: You have a decent amount of grist or whatever.
NA: The Punch Design shit thing is gonna be your Christmas present.
NA: For all those that I missed.
NA: Just like your Birthdays.
NA: I put it in the living room with the Totem lathe. I think I got the name right.
NA: I mean,
NA: What else am I gonna do? GG is lazier than me. We should have done this three ways instead.
NA: Or just two of us.
NA: Don't get me wrong, I got a lotta love for PD, but...
NA: He's not as reliable as you.
NA: We should stop saying 'PD'.
NA: It makes me think we're talking about a pedophile.
NA: Anyways, enjoy your gift. I selected it specifically for you.
NA: *winky face winky face.
Kyle's disappointment in GG was growing by the second. He'd probably fallen asleep yet again. The kid slept like a hibernating bear.
And this would be the death of Kyle. At least he'd lived a long purposeful life... oh wait!
He hadn't.
With this in mind, Kyle gazed back out the window to find the meteor was definitely growing closer. He had maybe half an hour? Just an estimated assumption, but Kyle took pride in it.
(@CosmicDreams come on, man. Don't let Kyle die. I love the fact that you're reading Homestuck, but you don't have to know EVERYTHING. When John, Rose, Dave and Jade began, they knew very little. Besides maybe Jade, but that's Jade. So at least allow Kyle to make it out alive.)
When he was waiting for a response, he began sleeping again. Then he heard a notification once more and he instantly woke up. After scanning through NA's memos, Cosmic clicked on the bar which was the actually the "Phernalia Registry." Once realizing this was what Kyle was talking about, he selected the Cruxtruder and deployed it in Kyle's room. He did the same thing with the Totem Lathe, and then went out of Kyle's room. He looked at the pile of junk in disgust after realizing this used to all be in Kyle's room. Cosmic saw Kyle's Uncle but decided to leave him alone since it would waste even more time. He finally located the living room, after only a couple minutes, and deployed the Alchemiter.
GalaxyGamer [GG] started pestering nofuxArmada [NA] at 12:55
GG: I deployed all the machines. GG: Sadly, I couldn't lock your uncle.
GG: Now do the rest you nerd.
Cosmic sighed after finishing his job and then remembered NA saying something about hosting with PD.
GalaxyGamer [GG] started pestering persistentDarkness [PD]at 12:55
GG: PD can you host me?
GG: NA said you had to
GG: Knowing him it was probably a lie
GG: But I'm contacting you just in case.
Maison received a message from GG on his scouter, telling him to see if he could connect with GG using the server version of the game. Maison grappled to his window and opened it to get inside his room. The disk was not where he left it, but in place of it was a drawing taunting him to get his disk back from the imps who took it. He messaged GG to tell him about the situation.
PersistentDarkness [PD] started pestering GalaxyGamer [GG] PD: some imps broke into my room and stole the server disk, meaning i'll have to get it back.
PD: I'm sure you have plenty of time though, And the imps aren't very smart, so i should be able to get it back soon. PD: I'm pretty sure NA wasn't lying, i think it would make sense if i could host you, so I'll try to get the disk back soon.[/SPOILER]
(Lol, Cosmic, you don't have to do anything with this info, but all that junk is mostly Kyle's Uncles. All of Kyle's cap went into his Uncles room.)
Kyle turned to hear two thumps in his room, followed by another downstairs. Looking at the two machines that had landed in his room, Kyle stared at them for a second, before giving a nod of his head.
nofuxArmada began pestering galaxyGamer at 10:21
NA: Well well well.
NA: Professor Procrastination comes through.
NA: Thanks.
With that said and out of the way, Kyle immediately got to work, trying to remember how the process worked. He needed to hit the Cruxtrudor with something heavy.
Opening his door, he found his Uncle to be found nowhere, then heard a power tool coming from outside. It was probably his Uncle working on his Harley Davidson, the only nice thing the man owned.
This allowed Kyle to enter his Uncles room and climb through the junk to retrieve the broken Buddha statue. It wasn't huge, but it was heavy. Kyle picked it up, straining himself slightly as he carried it back to his room, and attempted to hit the Cruxtrudor with it, to no avail. The item was too heavy.
"Why does my Uncle have this anyway?" Kyle asked himself as he looked around for another item, but he could find none. Then another idea hit him.
Kyle set the Dwayne Johnson action figure, still mint in his box, down on the bed from the dresser. Luckily, GG had set the Cruxtrudor beside his dresser, allowing Kyle to simply tip it over.
Which he did.
The impact of Dresser on Cruxtrudor resulted in a lid being pooped off the top, and a violently flashing orb to arise.
It was pink. Kyle was under the assumption they were all gonna be blue like Alex's, but it seemed that that was not the case.
Without looking, Kyle reached down and grabbed Dwayne Johnson, and threw him at the sprite.
He missed.
Cursing, Kyle went to grab Dwayne Johnson, keeping his focus on the sprite, when he felt something scaly, and a little moist. Crying out in shock, he quickly threw the thing.
"Wait! No, no! I take it back!" Kyle yelled at the sprite, which resembled a Snake. A floating pink snake starring at him with a bored look. "No! It was supposed to be the Rock!" Kyle complained. Snakesprite did nothing, except... is that a smirk? Kyle fumed as he looked down at Dwayne Johnson. "This is so unfair." But as the sky outside began to change hue, Kyle realized he didn't have time to fuck around. He'd need to get to work.
Alex, in the meantime, had added another four houses to the ever-growing stupid stack that was apparently important. Luckily, it didn't seem she had far to go. Unluckily, how much grist exactly would that require? Then again, PD did have a lot... maybe he wouldn't mind if she just risked using up all of it? She'd thought she'd been out of grist before, but that was clearly an incorrect assumption. Considering all the monsters he had farmed, she wasn't surprised, but was using it all on this worth the resources? Seeing as he had already alchemised a bunch of stuff, she had no idea what he'd do with the rest, so she decided to go for it. Slowly but surely, eight houses became sixteen, sixteen houses became thirty-two, and thirty-two houses became sixty-four: just enough to reach what looked like a spiralgraph portal at the top. The girl was feeling temporarily somewhat accomplished, and almost contacted PD to tell him the news, that was until someone else contacted her first. She opened the memo, quickly typing out a response.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering nofuxArmada [NA] at 17:29
AA: Thanks!
AA: All of the Christmases and stuff are officially made up for!
AA: Is there a plural for Christmas?
AA: Nevermind, I guess that is right.
AA: But
AA: About the session thing...
AA: Do you even think it would work with two people?
AA: I guess it did say 2-48 players on the box.
AA: Though that really makes me wonder who the heck has 48 friends.
AA: I digress.
AA: But what if we need Maison and Cosmic?
AA: (there you go I used their names instead of their chat handles)
AA: (I guess we all kind of have stupid name abbreviations though)
AA: (yours is just sodium, Cosmic's is basically 'good game,' and mine is... internal screaming I guess?)
AA: (whatever.)
AA: There's got to be some stupid BS reason why we all met each other (online) beforehand, and we all got randomly selected to beta test Sburb even though they only gave out the stupid code thing to like 200 people.
AA: Or maybe the game is just trying to make us think EVERYTHING is significant so we overanalyse the stupid small details and ignore the big important ones.
AA: Ugh!!
AA: This is making me want to slam my head against the table.
AA: But anyway...
AA: I guess I should stop bothering you...
AA: After all, you have to get into the medium first.
AA: Oh yeah, the sprites are like guides sort of!
AA: Maybe you need to prototype something more sentient than a bird if you want it to not speak in emoji though.
AA: Or maybe that's just a Finchsprite thing...
AA: I feel like I'm forgetting to mention something.
AA: Oh well.
AA: Good luck not dying!
AA: Uh
AA: *wink wink*
AA: Wait no that made that sound so much worse.
AA: I was being sincere I swear!
AA: I'm so sorry!
Now that her previous conversation had officially become a trainwreck, she decided to pester PD- er... Maison.
avianAstronomer [AA] began pestering persistantDarkness [PD] at 19:05
AA: I did the thing you asked and stacked your house!
AA: I have no idea how you'll get up there
AA: But
AA: It's done nonetheless.
Closing the memo, Alex could now do the important thing that she had originally intended to... well, it wasn't really important. The girl opened her door, quickly looked both ways to check for monsters, then stepped outside. Somewhat disappointingly, it looked almost exactly like how it had when she was still on Earth. Her house and lawn had transported with her, evidentially, but that was all she could see. She was encased by some sort of obscuring bubble, and the only way out appeared to be the blue spiralgraph at the top. Come to think of it, it looked fairly similar to both the portal Maison had at the top of his house tower and the shifting emblem on the Sburb loading screen. No matter, she had gone outside for a reason, and she was going to accomplish that within the best of her abilities. To the left she spotted exactly what she was looking for: imps. The few that were there evidentially hadn't spotted her yet. The creatures looked as they normally did: orange with an amalgam of dog and bird features. However, a few of them appeared somewhat translucent, almost as if they were made of glass. Despite the fact that her poorly bandaged arm was still somewhat stiff and attacking the assortment of enemies was probably a bad idea, the girl went for it anyway. A few bat swings later, the imps had been dispersed into grist, which she gladly collected along with some sort of... circular token? A... boondollar? And what the heck was an echeladder? Who had the idea to call a piggy bank a porkhollow? Who knows. Probably just another stupid mechanic that this game had to offer.
Many units of grist and one echeladder rung later, the girl figured she had enough resources to begin randomly alchemising what was likely useless junk. After a bunch of coaxing Siri to captchalog random junk, punching cards, and walking back and fourth between machines; she was ready.
Alex first combined her phone along with her glasses, which spat out some sort of mobile communication device that she could wear. The... Iglasses? While the pun was somewhat hilarious, she chose to ignore it, instantly putting them on. Next, she combined one of finchsprite's molted feathers with a pullover sweatshirt she'd pulled out of her closet to create the feathered jacket, which was somewhat disappointingly not a flight suit and was just a sweatshirt with a bunch of blue birds on it. She put it on anyway, after all, why not? Afterwards, she ended up with a grand total of WAY too much stuff, some of the most notable things being the Hermes Boots (shoes + feather, they disappointingly didn't allow flight either), the Pennytrotter (burnt horse toy ghost image + coin, it did absolutely nothing except neigh and make cash register noises), the Luminous Lantern (light bulb + wooden box, just a normal lantern for the most part, but with a pullable cord) and the Yoshihiro Bat (toad mask ghost image + baseball bat. This one puzzled her the most. Most of the items had really stupid sarcastic names but this one was relatively normal? She'd expected the Pond Walloper or the Frog Croaker or something. Heck, the bat didn't even look like wood anymore, it seemed to have become some sort of metallic substance. She put it in her strife deck nonetheless, it was evidentially better than her previous weapon. It was probably just some kind of obscure Easter Egg).
Having exhausted her grist supplies with making useless piles of crap she would likely never touch again, Alex waited for a reply. After all, there really wasn't much more she could do besides wait.
Kyle ignored the dinging on his computer, as he was in a rush. Snakesprite did nothing but float around and hiss at him when he started slacking. Quickly, he'd extracted the odd cylinder thing, which was also pink. He put it in the totem lathe and it made a retarded looking vase, much to Kyle's disappointment. He turned back to Snakesprite. "I don't know what to do. What next."
It made no reply.
"Oh... hang on."
So uh... you gonna help out? Put it on the Alchemiter. Woah. You talk? ... I'm still lost. Okay. Let me spell it out for you.
... ... I knew I shouldn't have come out of that hole in your wall. Wait, wha- PUT THE DAMN THING ON THE ALCHEMITER! You cuss too?
Okay okay. I'll get to it.
Kyle left Snakesprite behind as he approached the Alchemiter and set the pink vase on top. Nothing happened. "Wow. This is so interesting." He muttered to himself before checking Pesterchum.
nofuxArmada began pestering avianAstronomer at 19:39
NA: Lol. You're cool.
NA: As for my Sprite...
NA: I missed it when I threw Dwayne Johnson, my action figure collectible, and instead, somehow threw a snake.
NA: So now I have Snakesprite. And she is well, not very nice, in my opinion.
NA: But yeah, I've already progressed pretty far for only just now getting my items.
NA: Like, I put my little pink vase thing on the Alchemiter and shit.
NA: Somehow my Uncle hasn't found out about this.
NA: But yeah...
NA: How have we not hooked up?
NA: Wait, let me rephrase that.
NA: I didn't mean like 'hook up' like how people view it today,
NA: But like, the way it was used back in the old day.
NA: Dating.
NA: I'm talking about dating.
NA: Not anything else.
NA: I feel like I fucked this up.
NA: ...
NA: I'm gonna get back to it...
Kyle groaned. He was acting stupid again, but his mind returned to his current situation as the light outside turned red. He looked back at the timer on the Cruxtrudor.
"2 MINUTES!?" He'd wasted time again. Quickly, he returned to the Alchemiter to find Snakesprite waiting for him, and the pink object was no longer a vase, but...
"A cigarette." Kyle stated in disbelief. Looking around, he crossed his arms. "I feel like I'm being stereotyped."
Snakesprite hissed impatiently at him, and Kyle sighed as he picked up the item. "I don't know... it looks more like... oh..." It was in fact, not a cigarette, but a dumdum. A sucker. "Oh this is easy." He stated as he looked out the window to see a massive meteor headed for them, and he began to panic, shoving the dumdum into his mouth. Nothing happened.
Snakesprite hissed again, this time urgently, and Kyle bit down on the Sucker, issuing his world into darkness.
Silence and inky black surrounded him as he entered the Medium.
Maison had gone through the portal and had reached the Land of Tech and Metroid Style Platformi-too long. Land of Technology and Sky Islands. Max walked around and found a small robot inside a shop and bought a map to find out where he was. He decided to message His friends to tell them where he was.
PersistentDarkness [PD] started pestering NofuxArmada [NA] and AvianAstronomer [AA] PD: Have you gone to the game world yet? If you have, then you should focus on the glowy thing in the sky.
PD: It's a portal that leads you from the tower your house is on to the actual planet itself.
PD: And i think npcs live on the planet.
PD: Or at least they do on mine PD: how are you guys doing so far?
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