Jehnto Journeys

[ant2011]

     Anthony was heading out of Twinleaf Town with his first Pokemon, Blaze, a Torchic. Blaze was unique in that he had a scar on his chest. "So Blaze, what should we do? Gym Battles?"
     Blaze nodded quickly. "Tor Torchic!"
     "Okay then. The first gym is in Oreburgh City.....through Jubilife City.... and a lot of tall grass..."
     Blaze began to walk slower and soon sat down right in the middle of sandgem town.
     "Blaze, here, hop on my shoulder." Anthony picked up Blaze when a rapid Barrage of seeds hit Anthony in the forehead. It was a Rouge Treecko. Blaze woke up and jumped towards Treecko. "Use scratch now Blaze!"
     Blaze scratched his claws on Treecko. Treecko jumped back and pounded Blaze with his tail.
     "Alright, I'll try a Pokeball!" Anthony threw a pokeball at Treecko and Treecko disapeared in a flash of red light. The Pokeball rocked 3 times and stopped.
     "Yeah! I'll name you Rouge."
     Anthony heard sarcastic style clapping from behind him. It was his childhood friend, Kane. "Congratulations wimp. You caught a weak Treecko, then nickname it... I already caught a Doduo and evolved my Totodile into a Croconaw... Oh well. I bet you're going to go sight seeing through sinnoh! Ha! Later Loser!" Kane yelled as he ran off.
      "Jerk." Was all Anthony said as Kane left.
    

 

[Sem]

... What on earth? So many things wrong with this.

1. Your grammar makes the eyes bleed.
2. Your writing could use a lot of work, there's no details, no anything. Its very sped up and sloppy.
3. Where on earth is Jehnto? You say Twinleaf and Sandgem and Jubilife and Oreburgh, which clearly puts you in the Sinnoh region.
4. There's really no openings for new characters to join, and the plot is nonexistent.

I'm locking this for now, consider yourself warned with me being in the merciful state I'm in. I suggest taking a look at other RPs to see how its done here.