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Open POKECHARMS BADFIC CONTEST 2019 - A SONG OF FAIL AND SHAME

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KoL

Expert FPS Player
Staff member
Moderator
Badfic.png

As is always annual custom for Pokecharms, the Badfic Contest returns for 2019, to celebrate the... "memorable" ending of hit TV series Game of Thrones not too long gone.

Could you have done better yourself? Could you have written a better ending to Game of Thrones? You'll need to be able to write a worse one if you want to claim the title of Badfic Champion here, as only the worst of the worst will be able to compete. Terrible grammar, awful cringe-inducing plots that make no sense, horrific Mary-Sues and everything else in-between are what you need.

The rules are simple: You write a starting chapter for a fic, and make it as utterly dreadful as possible. You only get one chapter, and one post, so make it count. You are however free to edit your chapter after posting it here, as no judging will take place until the deadline. Everything else is fair game.

Do your worst, writers. You will need to if you want any chance of winning.
 
weL, tEh whOl Worl wAs In a huEg struGle, but teHn the pRty laeDer fom teh Organ Trail, Big jmes Junior, apPEerd throuh aN oblivion prtl adn saVeD teh dai wiht hsi coposure.
*KOFF*

he sayd: "Hello." adn teh wrld blw op.
The end...

BuT nOt FoR lOnG! AS THAnoS un-snaped teh youniverse adn everythang gto bettar rite a way...


BTU NTO ROF LOOONG! bcuz Big jmes Junior adn THAnoS hda na ePIC baTlE. eventuALLY, THAnoS lsot, and Big jmes Junior defeeted THAnoS bi splaPpiNG 'im ni teh fcae.

The end (for real this time).
 
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(WHAT IS THIS!? O.O I thought that Pokecharms was all about good grammar and being a sue free place! I'm, being a noob, is very surprised. I shall try to write a badfic (Even though I have taught myself to keep such darkness away from the keyboard.) and yes, all of the spelling mistakes, bad grammar (you have no idea how much I wanted to throw myself into a wall from this), and sueness are on purpose)
A young girl wiht sappire bule eyes and bonld hare thet lokked perfct with her complection. She was the mst perfct lokking girl in the wrold! SHe was the bset cok in the wrold. She mdae a ckae for 2 constmers the were have a weding. 2 assasians poped out of nowhere!!!! She tok out a sorwd and said "Let's fihgt!" She was also a worrior priness form anouther wrold!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!! "Ill sove this palce!" she shuoted. SHe tokk both fo the assasians to thier nees and spared them. "I dont kil" she said.
"What is you're mane?" one of the assasians aksed.
"Mary, my mane is mary."
Mary lfet the redteraunt and went too hlep thuoghs in ned.
(HELP ME!! WHY DID I MAKE THIS MONSTROSITY! BURN IT IN A PIT OF FIRE!)
 
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Dead account

Previously Super Lazy Man
Soem Eodam dued cneo arod wisch a sopasr ((spear)) adn kiled peple wiht sad das laf, mane karater namba one saìd "NNNNNAAAAAANNNIIII" os za otha wan ouas like "DIE DIE SHOOT I HAYE GRAMMAR " and den he killed everyone zen, writer of zadstory got punishment for beingz za worst writer ever



Fin
 
adventures of ohemio chapter 1

(i finally wrote the first capter of ohemio's adventure...this is gunna be epic guys)

ohemio was a normal boy who lived with his brother mom and dad...except he wasn't!!1 ohemio and his brother bohemio were actually the last of the ancient omes of all the dimensions and could jump throygh dkmensions when they wanted to...but they didn'y know this until later, because when they were young someone found out their powers...

it was thanos!!!! thanos from fortnite endgame and with the infinity gauntler and sent their parents into another domension far away, and took ohemio and bohenio!!

he taught them everything...how to use their powers...how to fight good...how to be really smart...but then one day bohemio found out something really bad abput thanos! he had a councal or EVIL

bohemio saw the evilest of the coyncil pickle rick destroy a town...there was only one survivor...a girl named corrin (from smash bros) who escaped when her dad marth from smash bros sacrificed himself to fight him...pockle rick destroted him and then made him EVIL too...

bohemio got scared and went to run....but rick caught him...but then thanos found out...to make bohemio evil he used the infinity gauntlet! "haha i work for the counvil of EVIL know..."

ohemio hsd been off on a mission when bohemio tyrned evil...but ohemio then figyred out the truth when he met...his mom!! she told him everything, how thanos attacked them and stole ohemio and bohemio away...but then bohemio and thanos and pickle rick and the counxal of evil sjowed up...

"bohemio what is going on???!?" ohemio said "brother come and join rhe council of evil...it is your destieby..." "no bohemio, we are tuls of evil to thanos!!!" "not after i heard of...the indintity gauntler!" "nooooooooooooooooooooo"

ohemio's mom tried to fight them but was too weak...so she uaed the last of her power to send ohemio away..."no mom i cant leave you!!!" ohemio said and then his mom said "ohemio u must find yur dad and get help...thanos is too strong to take om yourself...and u must save your brother too....i love you....." "that was a mustak" thanos said, as...HE KILLED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ohemio criex when he saw that but then he was gone as she sent him away

ohemio woke up in a cave later..."i cant believe you are ok" said a girl...it was smash bros corron...ohemio necer saw anyone so prettr (accept his mom)...

"oh no...thanos is going to come for me!" he said. "my brother bohemio...hes been turned evil........i got to find my dad" corrin was confused "thanis?! oh no...he was a part of the councel of evil...they attacked and killed my dad...i will join you on your adventure" said corrin "maybe we can find my brother ike too...he went iff on a adventure by himself and never came back..." so now ohemio and corrin were a team! so thet left the cave and steppped into vorrins destroyrd town.......

"what thanos has done here is terrible......" ohemio said "im sorry for what happens..." but then there was a noise...it was...

john wick! "so you are the one thanos calls omega" john said angrily "you will die!" he pulled out a scar gun and began to shhoot but THEN...there was laser!

"omega is comung with me john wock!" said...IRON MAM!!!

to be continued.....

please give me likes or i wont keep doing these huys...then ill be sad causr thats not epic
 

Chunky Ramen

Previously Canadian_Fish
I have waited so long. My destiny has arrived.:
SOE BRAEND TRAVAELS 2 TELE JOWNE TAHTE TAH WITE IRSH BOIS R CMINE ONE THR HOURSHESHESHESHESHESH SOE JOWN RANE NORTHE, TAH SAED ANDE CONFUSEDED WITE IRSH BOIS WNTE ESTA, BRAENDY BOI WENTE WEAST WILE DOINGE EPICE FLIPES ANDE TEWWING TEH VILLLLAGGGGGEREZ "YO'URE AREN'TEH"
ANDE LASTELY, TEH SHOUWE WNTE SOUTHE.
OHE, ANDE TAH WITE IRSH BOIZ WERERE TURNEDED IN2 SL4V3S F0R T3H PEEPS WOO IZ PLAE GAM OFE THROWNS, IRSH BOIZ HZ 2 BYE DRINKZE FORE TEH PLAYA'S!!!1!!111!11!!1!!!1 SUCHE SAVEGE G3T R3KT M8S N0W 1 GOE PLAE FORTNITE ANDE BRAKE MOAR CONTROLEEER FORE EX-BOCKS.
The End. Bute Ites note tehe ende.
tehrz moar gawd dam ite.
Tah cretaorz ofe showe mad Ex-Bocks Connttrroolleerrees ande mad tah newee Moartle Kombate, were skorpines grabed ur chestes ande ripppeded ur hert oute ofe ur buttt slowley.
Also. Jerry is an Xbox player, and gets salty over getting eliminated in certain games but is very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very social. But Jerichocoumalatesate umaritesanuchichaco is a PS4 player who is with the cool kids, but hides in his closet during social months. As a result he is lonely inside.
nowe Jerichocoumalatesate umaritesanuchichaco iz ae boieo wit tah poewr ov gawd timez tre and jewwrye iz..................................................... jerry. tey ar dezendants ov jown or brandey winee
pider man is kool
i alsoe lik mudkips.
Teh Ende...... ^…_*)$$’epic Jon Wiked Musice playine (7(=;$:[^]
 
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aurivee_

Previously EeviumZ
2 year old me: hey i wanna mak storys
Me: That's not a good idea-
2 year old me: i dont care! heres my stori

so lugi comed in and death stard every 1
then luigi was liek omea wa mo shindeu and every 1 else was liek nanni? ande thenn 1/2 of ppl died
and then thanos camed and snapd his finers but it didnt wurk becuz hee had no infinitey stons
and then i comed in & dabd and did th defalt dance and punchd thanos in da face with da pwr of fortnit!!!! pow pow pow!!!!!! he died
then al the gam of thrns ppl came and trid to kill me for no reason but i usd my lord helix powrs to desroy thm all! hahahahaha :D:D:D:D:D
and thn the earth crakd in half
the end
but not actualy th end bcuz idk
and then some randm gardevir comed in and makd a bunch of blak hols and suckd everthing in

(I am ashamed of myself...)

2 year old me: bUt Im NoT dUn yEt haHaHaa
Me: *sigh

bcuz then th gardevir decid 2 mak a new world so it resurected me frm the dead and thn I caled arkeus and lord helix and told them mak a new wrld 4 me hahahha!
s0 them did
and it wuz a meme planet and ther wer suprised pickachus everywher and nyan cat farted ranbows on them
and i was liek "lolol mudkipz lolol"

Me: But this has nothing to do with Game of Thr-
2 year old me: yes it doz! ther wer gam of thrns ppl but i punchd them al to death! hahaha
Me: *gives up on life

but thn my wrst enemi camed
dOmE fossl
but I just summund lihtning and it died
HAHAHAHAHHA

th end

Me: B-but... that still isn't Game of Thr-
2 year old me: yes it is! wahhhh ;_;;_;;_;;_;
Me: *facepalm
Me: And what do Pokemon have to do with Game of Thrones?
2 year old me: idk
Me: *ultimate facepalm

(I am still ashamed of myself.)
 

Dwayna DragonFire

2014 Little Cup Champion
It is time.

---

as he fliked threw the leters a smal hanriten nvelop coght his atenshun his kokoro wetn doki doki it has ben a logn teim sins edworth had set phonix a note it sad poenix i ♥ u pls com vsit me'so teh lawyur got up & left to see edgwrth imidi8ly he culdnt just rejec him freind after they'd brn aprt 415 year

hey edwtrh how r u doin not gud feeni i ben tinkin 2 much abot te dl6 cas ohyea i4got let me hepl u feel beter + thn thy kiss acidental buton purr pos u no wut im saiyin & tey amdt they luv 4 ech othr hapy end
 
John snow snapped his fingers and the infinity gauntlet killed the white walkers and dumbledore.
He then went mad with power and became the best friend of a large blue fish named Jeremy.

-The End

(Never watched Game of Thrones. I wrote this before a job interview. Best that. *drops mic*)
 

Pollen-Puff

Previously Ampharos' Dragon Blood
oRsEeuS bLeEncKeD aNd tHaN; dHeEaWcKxIs TeRnEd In Too ThHhAnohS/ hE sHnApEdD aN tEhN tU eWuErLeD wHuNt uWhAyhE. i TulD oRsEeUs Tu Us3 tHuH SkY pLayT eNd PsygHeEum cZee To MaYkE cZee-GuHjMiHnT. tEhN wii PlaYhEd AmOmOlOlA jUmP oN hIs WhEe YoO aNd SeGa LaUgH bOw. HisS KoHrEfiTcH rUnNeD sLoHwHeRgH tHeGn MyNe KhLEpHuH sOuGh ShE One. tEhN wii AtE gAyM uHf TrOwNs ChRmEs 5 bRuh! NcH. DhEn NaHbi EvOoLvD 2 NaHvEe aNd SaiD 'hAy LisT 1.' SoW wii LihStEnD 2wen3 4ve. 3 bEeeEEEEeeE xOnTenUd....



Out-of-story voice: This is if examined closely, a story with horribly misspelled letters. Take that @Mystic Zander , @Dwayna DragonFire , @EeviumZ , @Steel_Snek , Lazy guy who loves to eat and @BurbleBurble !
 
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i cna't believe i got three likes guys thank you so much
i will get chapter 2 up SOON
and omg i cant believe someone knew rhe final chapter : (((((((((it was going to end with ohemio destroging thanos after saying omay way moe shenderu but now it cant because someone gave it way.......
but will ohemio find his dad1 can bohemio be turned good?????? is corrns brother ike alve? why does iron mant want ohemio??!!!?!?!?!!/ u have to wait and SEE
 
oRsEeuS bLeEncKeD aNd tHaN; dHeEaWcKxIs TeRnEd In Too ThHhAnohS/ hE sHnApEdD aN tEhN tU eWuErLeD wHuNt uWhAyhE. i TulD oRsEeUs Tu Us3 tHuH SkY pLayT eNd PsygHeEum cZee To MaYkE cZee-GuHjMiHnT. tEhN wii PlaYhEd AmOmOlOlA jUmP oN hIs WhEe YoO aNd SeGa LaUgH bOw. HisS KoHrEfiTcH rUnNeD sLoHwHeRgH tHeGn MyNe KhLEpHuH sOuGh ShE One. tEhN wii AtE gAyM uHf TrOwNs ChRmEs 5 bRuh! NcH. DhEn NaHbi EvOoLvD 2 NaHvEe aNd SaiD 'hAy LisT 1.' SoW wii LihStEnD 2wen3 4ve. 3 bEeeEEEEeeE xOnTenUd....



Out-of-story voice: This is if examined closely, a story with horribly misspelled letters. Take that @Mystic Zander , @Dwayna DragonFire , @EeviumZ , @Steel_Snek , Lazy guy who loves to eat and @BurbleBurble !

Translation with dumbness still in it:
Arceus blinked and then Deoxys turned into Thanos. He snapped and then the world went away. I told Arceus to use the Sky plate and Psychium Z to make Z-Judgement. Then we played Amomomolola Jump on his Wii U and Sega Labo. His Corphish ran slower than my Cleffa so she won. Then we ate Game of Thrones Charms for brunch. Then Nebby evolved into Navi and said "Hey list one," so we listed twenty-five. To be continued....

I wanna be annoyed that your post is basically a worse version of my own, but I suppose that’s the point, lol.
Good on you.
 

Pollen-Puff

Previously Ampharos' Dragon Blood
I wanna be annoyed that your post is basically a worse version of my own, but I suppose that’s the point, lol.
Good on you.

It is? That wasn't intentional, I just saw Thanos memes and decided to add some and the rest was me being weird.
 

Dead account

Previously Super Lazy Man
Apart from the pigeon one... i am the lnly one who didn't put thanos in it?


I probably just would have said this :
And so thanos got his head chopped off by a meme, spiderman cancer meme says "what did you doooooo" and meme number one would be revealed to be the 'aim for the head one' and says "i aimed for the head"
YUUUP
 
okay it seems i'm really gonna do this
cough cough
deep inhalation

Chatper 1: The Origin of Vengelaw Bladebane
(Autheur's Notes: This is going to be the story of my OC, and since I have the copy writes and he is a totally original character, nobody is allowed to steal any of it. My dad works for Steve Jobs and he will backtrace ur DeviantArt account and have you BANNED. Also I am working on my own art and anime for it, but I'm doing it myself so I won't be getting a Nitflix adpatation like SOME PEOPLEANQIUBQDBQKDVQ-
Thx)

Vengelaw Bladebane woke up late in his bed. But he was gonna be late for schol! He panicked and got up out of bed, but didn't because he's not some pussy like all those whiny main characters who does stupid things like worry. He got out of his bed and stood in front of his mirror. He was already wearing his epic badass trench coat (not the schuul shuter kind but the Neo from the Matreix kind), with his silver-bladed golden-handled Katana strapped onto the back. (Authors Note: I know i siad its golden but when he goes Brezerk Mode the sword goes red to represent the blood of his enemies) He looked into the mirror and checked out his ripped bodi before putting his obsidian-pitch-black Fedora onto his head. He then walked downstairs and said goodbye to his mom, except she was dead so he went back over to the grave in the kitchen, picked up the lucnh it had made for him and threw the cheese strings in the bin, because they fking taste like horse dung. Then he said goodbye again becuz even tho he kills people that dfoesn't mean he's not a good guy, and his mom crired because she was so proud of him.
(Okay preps flaming dis story his mom died when he was just a baby and the Dark Legion burned down his village and dats why she's a grave and rhe reason she is talking is becuz she is a GHOST okay so stop posting in the commenst asking why thats why she was an Arch-angle and when archangles fall they becum ghosts in Hel and dayts also why Venge is a half-angel half-daemin)

He left down da street and started striding all cool like down to the Slayer Hunter schoel for epic heroes, and becuz he could fly so fast because of his hidden Dark angle wings and can run at light-sped even faster than Sanic or Coldsteel square up bish with his wolf feet even thou he woke up late he didn't get to schel late he was there b4 everyone else. But that was when down the street he saw the only other person in the whole entire world who was evne possibly able to get to schul as speedy as him, iy was his arch-rival! He stard him down from across the road as dey approached the gates of schul, (he can see dat far becuz of his HETEROCHROMULA WULF EYES where one is red and oen is black he got them from his father becuz his dad was a wolf demon okay stop commenting or i;ll call the Bully Police), and he started to approach him down the path all epic Dio meem like, and the purple Japanese stuff was floatig around him because he was just that menaecing. After two steps he reached his arch nemesis mega rival Sasuga Hitoshigonaganori, who he had known since he was a kid but only becuz his father was the Leader of the Dark Legion who burned down hsi home village. So he stopped and said nothing all silent and awesome as he pulled out his katana from his back with one sword, and his eyes begun to glow red and black, even tho he was wearing his epic midnight-black aviator shades they glowed so much you could still see them like eyes in the darkness. As he duro'd his sword with one handed, he swung it around in a big circle, and it glew and glew with dark deff energy, except it was red becuz he was gonna go in Brezersk mode because seeing Hitoshi-gonaga-nori-kun was maeking him angery, except he was always angre but he was like hulk excepr he was even more composed, he was so calm that wen someon called his artowkr bad on the interent rather than get mad he just went thru the screen with his matser hacker skills and banned him from life.
He was preapard to attack Sasugay, and it woulda been an epic battle the likes of witch the world had never seen but he definitelt woulda won becuz i did the power scaling and Venge is still Omniversal+ while Sasugo is just Multiversal on a good day, but THEn
SOmeone tapped him on the shoulder, and when he lookef with his super eyes he saw that he was BACK DOWN TEH ROAD
"This could only be the work of one person..." he said under his breath
and he turned around and he saw that it was their mentor and teacher Will Smith from Aladdin!
He was Watchmojo's #1 in the Top 10 most powrrful Time Warper list, because he had the ability to Rewind Time at his vury whim
(Btw b4 anyone comments the reason Blue Will Smith is here and teaching at da scheul is becuz after he got let out of the lump he canonically met Venge;s wolf demon father Luciphomet Morningzabub, and they were ex-rvials and worst enemies but also best freinds and that is why he dun want Sasuge and Vende to fight)
"Yung Bladebane, you need to remember that you must use ur powrs for good, rather than revenge, otherwise your fader's sacrifice would be in vain"
Venge nodded and held himself back, but still instantly removed Blue Will Smith's fingers from his soulder becuz even since he came out of Bezrek Super Archangle Demon God moed + he wus still moving at hyper-speed with 10,000000 Light-years in 1 second even at base
He then walked into the school. He was hoping e would be able to meet his other childhood friend and best waifu Kasuko-chan, who was a catgirl and super kawiai uguu, but little did he know...
POSE CREDITS SCENE
The four evul Generals of the Dark Legion watcbed from a nearby tree as Sasugu and Vebge were enterihg the school. Defflord Yurikuruzo watched through his Scry-Magic as he chuck;ed. "Hahaha... Everything is going exactly as according to Keikaku. Vengewalker will nt even know that we ae going to burn down the shool just like his village, and his mother that we slaid. Isn't that right Leader?"
Ans from across the other end of the scrying-magic screen we saw the leader of the Dark Legion
"Yes... and finally, both my sons will unite under me in the dark sied."
And he moved out of the shadows in his lair and all the viewers could see that Todos Para Uno was actually VENGE'S FATHER
CHAPTER END
(and yes that meens Sasugus and Venga r actually BROTHERs and rhey don't even knownit yet)
 
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But, but this can't happen! How is he so powerful! If he can get that powerful, he should start a ground zero and work his way up! Also, how did an arch-angel enter Hell? Aren't they too good for that? Shouldn't they be in heaven? And stop putting in author notes in the middle of your story, it breaks the immersion. Also, don't give spoilers! And what world are you from to have such awful English? And I don't think your father works for Steve Jobs, plus, I don't have a Deviant Art! You can't hurt me! (Did I just tell someone to fix their work on a badfic competition? Now I feel stupid because I was just joking around)
 
Me writing this-
Pokecharms: Did you do it?
Me: Yes.
Pokecharms: What did it cost?
Me: Everything.

I gave myself multiple restriction rules while writing this that i'm not even gonna list all of
If i misspelled anything unintentionally i still had to leave it
I couldn't mention Fortnite or Thanos once because everyone else had already done it
Each time i said "School" or "Sasuga" i had to spell it wrong with some new variation that i hadn't already used
 
@Generation Sect Thank you for not Fortniting or Thanosing! You have made this thread more enjoyable! A blessing on earth I say! Now back to finding a way to destroy my badfic forever! (It is impossible, once you post it on the internet, it is there forever.)
 
I honestly hope I don't get tempted to edit this to make it WORSE somehow
I want to preserve the sanctity of this... Cornucopia of cringe. I think that's the only way in my brain I can describe it.
But the most truly scary part is that I almost KNOW someone's gonna post something worse. I don't know how. But its definitely coming.
 
How can this get even worse?! I sware I almost ran into a wall due to how bad my story was! I forced myself to finish so then I didn't have to write it anymore! And mine is one of the better ones! (Like good quality[was the worst thing I've ever typed up], not contest-wise). I guess I'm to weak to handle such bad grammar and bad direction. I think I'll stick to normal stories, I CAN do that without hurting my sanity.
 

Pollen-Puff

Previously Ampharos' Dragon Blood
My story makes me cringe so much I had to edit it and put in a translation. It hurts my eyes to read it.

EDIT: I took away the translation! If you haven't read it already, I dare you to translate it and PM the translation to me. Dare ends next Thursday!
 
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Chunky Ramen

Previously Canadian_Fish
I just pretended to know what was happening when my friends went over it... I wasnt too interested... But hey, at least I know the names and didnt use Fortnite or Thanos, I stuck to a reddit meme.
The show made perfect sense! Jon went North...some one went east and west... And the show went south!
I just took it and tossed it into the fiery pits of hell and then proceeded to fish it out very slowly.
Also, @Altari_owl , I put your story into google translate. I put it into Detect Language, and put translate to english.
but only random letters came out.
explain, please.
 
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