Well, there’s no easy way to introduce this, but this is set to be a series of prosody to help relieve my thoughts or stress. It’s sort of meant to be… personal? But, formatting my writing in a more-or-less anonymous way on a site I quite like, even in this more halcyon state, for users I have known for some time, is what I’d like best. But don’t you dare think I’m finished with my other series (A Dent in One’s Pride), we still have two decades to get through!
Ahem, I suppose let’s start off with a… love letter, of sorts. I could only hope and pray it will stand the test of time, but, at the end of the day, this is literally just ‘Relief Writing’.
To my favorite Nick,
Oh, I’ve taken you for granted.
I don’t know how, really. You’re unbelievable in every way. I just know you’ll go far, fly above it all… your name is one to look out for in the future.
But, I feel I have let you down. When you put yourself out there for me, I knew for the first time what it is like to love someone. To think of them every day, to go out of your way for them.
I never do show it. I’m terrible with that. You must feel awful about it all, I’m sure. You always have the perfect thing to say, and I, well, I can barely come up with the right words now, even two years after I first saw you in that new light.
I didn’t expect it, to be perfectly honest. But the second we locked eyes that February, it all made sense to me. Oh, if only we could spend more time together. Maybe then you would see how my love for you has remained just as strong.
It’s only a matter of time, really, until we graduate and go our separate ways. Every day, I fear you see less and less of me, and that you don’t realize I’ve never stopped thinking of you.
With the aphantasia, dreams are the only time I see any visuals in my head. And, most of the dreams I do have usually involve my death or Kafkaesque agony. The ones with you are never so sullen, but also not particularly distasteful.
Simply, in these recurring patterns of light-hearted dreams, you and I are out doing something together, enjoying general frivolity and really in quite a blissful state of mind. Then, something always happens that divides us. But, by that point, I’ll have woken up.
They are rather easy-to-interpret dreams, I suppose. I’m afraid of losing you. But I feel I barely even have you now. Every time I see couples having such simply joys, I think of these dreams, and I wonder why they can’t be us.
Maybe I’m just too shy, too socially inept, too inflexible. I mean, hell, when we were with one of my best friends, I felt like I was third wheeling! Metaphorically, of course.
But still… I wouldn’t know how to change this about myself. It’s just the way I am, I guess. I wonder if I’ll ever truly connect with anyone sometimes. Even with my normal friends, they look at me like I’m crazy every time I speak.
You never do, though. I just realized that near the end of writing… you’re really the only person who I feel equal with, to some degree, when I talk with you. Too bad it happens so rarely. I don’t know if we’ll ever be together, but maybe, in the spontaneous story of love, we always need ‘the one that got away’.
I’ll never forget your name,
Signed: Your Snowbird.
Ahem, I suppose let’s start off with a… love letter, of sorts. I could only hope and pray it will stand the test of time, but, at the end of the day, this is literally just ‘Relief Writing’.
To my favorite Nick,
Oh, I’ve taken you for granted.
I don’t know how, really. You’re unbelievable in every way. I just know you’ll go far, fly above it all… your name is one to look out for in the future.
But, I feel I have let you down. When you put yourself out there for me, I knew for the first time what it is like to love someone. To think of them every day, to go out of your way for them.
I never do show it. I’m terrible with that. You must feel awful about it all, I’m sure. You always have the perfect thing to say, and I, well, I can barely come up with the right words now, even two years after I first saw you in that new light.
I didn’t expect it, to be perfectly honest. But the second we locked eyes that February, it all made sense to me. Oh, if only we could spend more time together. Maybe then you would see how my love for you has remained just as strong.
It’s only a matter of time, really, until we graduate and go our separate ways. Every day, I fear you see less and less of me, and that you don’t realize I’ve never stopped thinking of you.
With the aphantasia, dreams are the only time I see any visuals in my head. And, most of the dreams I do have usually involve my death or Kafkaesque agony. The ones with you are never so sullen, but also not particularly distasteful.
Simply, in these recurring patterns of light-hearted dreams, you and I are out doing something together, enjoying general frivolity and really in quite a blissful state of mind. Then, something always happens that divides us. But, by that point, I’ll have woken up.
They are rather easy-to-interpret dreams, I suppose. I’m afraid of losing you. But I feel I barely even have you now. Every time I see couples having such simply joys, I think of these dreams, and I wonder why they can’t be us.
Maybe I’m just too shy, too socially inept, too inflexible. I mean, hell, when we were with one of my best friends, I felt like I was third wheeling! Metaphorically, of course.
But still… I wouldn’t know how to change this about myself. It’s just the way I am, I guess. I wonder if I’ll ever truly connect with anyone sometimes. Even with my normal friends, they look at me like I’m crazy every time I speak.
You never do, though. I just realized that near the end of writing… you’re really the only person who I feel equal with, to some degree, when I talk with you. Too bad it happens so rarely. I don’t know if we’ll ever be together, but maybe, in the spontaneous story of love, we always need ‘the one that got away’.
I’ll never forget your name,
Signed: Your Snowbird.