This is the prologue of a story I have been working on for quite a while now. I just wondered what people here thought. Criticism and/or comments would be greatly appreciated. If you spot any mistakes please let me know.
Note: Shift — A human in animal form. All mages have an animal which is closest to them in spirit, and through simple study can learn to take its shape. However many years of study are needed to master its behaviors and traits, and some never fully achieve perfection.
Prologue
Nax slowly moved the rock to one side, peering into the field. All seemed quiet. A bitter wind was blowing from the South, causing a slight rustle amongst the wild tomato plants. The noise it created was eerie, but was nothing to be afraid of. He listened, carefully, extensively, and all seemed natural. He noted a bird, some sort of wader, on the far side. Was that normal? Was there water near here? Yes, just over the marsh grass to the East. Still, what was it doing in the field? Slowly, Nax lowered himself back into the hole, where Kina was waiting patiently.
"Well?" She whispered, glancing upwards.
"Not sure about a bird. Wader."
"There's water, not half a mile away,"
"I know,"
Kina glanced upwards again "Should we wait?"
Nax considered. It was probably just a regular bird, not a Shift , but the consequences of a wrong decision weren't even worth thinking about.
"Everything I know tells me to give up. There are other fields and better times. However, Dendil sent us here to make sure that Larna didn't drop her herb pouch. If she did, it can be discovered. We have to go into the field. If that bird is a Shift, it must not find that pouch!"
Kina nodded slowly. "What should we do?"
It was a difficult decision. Firstly, the bird had to be identified as either true bird, or Shift. He didn't have a longbow, thus simply killing the bird wasn't an option. He mentally kicked himself for not bringing it along, although crawling down the tunnel would have been tricky. He looked Kina in the eye.
"You'll have to Shift and investigate the wader."
Kina looked taken aback, but quickly calmed herself. "Me?"
"I'd do it, but horses don't come out of holes." Rarely did Nax regret having such a large animal as his Shift, but now was certainly one of those times. "All you need to do is approach it and see what it does. You know the signs."
Kina nodded, remembering. "Yes, I know them. And if it is?"
"Make sure you act natural and you'll have nothing to worry about. Just return here and we'll figure out what to do,"
With a final moment to compose herself, the young Earth Mage closed her eyes and Shifted.
A rabbit left the hole, slowly and carefully. Kina knew that rabbits always looked nervous upon leaving the safety of their burrows, since they had so many natural predators. Hopefully none of them were in the field. She twitched her ears, listening. The slight breeze rustled the grass nearby, the trees whistled slightly. She sniffed. A deer and her fawn had passed here not too long ago, so had a fox, most likely at dawn, so thankfully it probably wasn't still in the area. Tomato featured strongly on the wind, basil, heather and foxglove more subtle. No scent of man. Not that Kina had expected any.
She took a hop forward, in the direction of the wader. Wanting to move faster, she knew that rabbits only had two speeds, slow and running. She'd have to go slow. Neither could she go in a straight line. She paused to nibble the grass, which tasted awful as usual, and sniffed the air again. Still normal, still natural.
Another couple of hops and she stood on her hind legs, ears erect. She could see the bird, pecking at the ground. Back on the ground, she crept forwards again, nibbled and sniffed. Man. Flattening herself immediately, she fought the urge to run. It was strong, not to long ago, maybe a few hours. Before dawn. Could it be Larna's? Gathering her wits, Kina sniffed again, trying to find any telling signs. The scent was overpowering.
After a minute, Kina came to the decision that the smell most likely belonged to the healer. While the human smell itself held no clues, a subtle undertone of sage and other herbs was unusual to all but healers, who spent so long in their herb gardens that they took on its smell. Surely the scent belonged to Larna. She decided to continue. Maybe the pouch was nearby.
She made good progress and was soon near the wading bird, near enough to get a good look at it. The black and white bird had a long, slender bill that curved upwards towards the end. It had murky blue legs which made it quite tall from a rabbits perspective. Kina identified it as an Avocet.
The bird seemed unperturbed by the sudden appearance of a rabbit and carried on feeding. Kina nibbled at the short grass. It looked normal. It was stood correctly, from what she knew of Avocets at least. Did they eat insects, which was what it seemed to be searching for? She knew they ate water insects. It wasn't reacting towards her at all. It was strange that it was alone and at the edges of a tomato field though. Kina wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Maybe Nax would come to a better conclusion. Nibbling, she turned away and hopped back the way she'd come, hopefully now she and Nax could look for the pouch, find it if it was there and return home. The whole day had been a nightmare so far, if they hurried they might even make it back for the afternoon meal.
Taking another nibble she took one last look behind her, and froze. The Avocet was staring right at her, unblinking, with small, jet black eyes. Horrified, Kina's heart skipped a beat in her chest as panic began to rise within her. The stare was too focused to be a bird. The gaze had human intent behind it.
Kina didn't know what to do. She pretended not to have seen the stare and forced herself to keep nibbling at the grass. She flicked her ears, nervously. If she returned to the hole, the bird Shift might see where she'd gone and discover the tunnel back. But if it found the pouch they'd be in trouble anyway. The bird had begun to feed again, losing interest in her. Good. She was confident in her ability to act like a rabbit, after all, she'd studied them for three years. With a deep breath she hopped back into the longer grass and began the nerve-racking journey back, which had to be taken slowly.
Nax sat in the hole entrance, watching the opening intently. Kina had been gone a while. True she was only a rabbit and therefore would take a while to cross the field, but still he worried. He should have been able to go himself. Again, he cursed his Shift. As a horse he was built for speed and endurance, perfect for missions that required swift movement or long distance, like message sending. But in these situations, stealth was required and he was thus useless. If this tunnel was discovered, his village would be in grave danger. The village had a tunnel network, which its people used to get to places like the tomato field above without being seen. They were all only large enough to crawl down, with wider exits covered up by a false stone. They all led back to the village, which right now Nax believed to be a very big flaw.
The sudden appearance of Kina broke his line of thought. Once inside, she lost the rabbit shape in a panic and looked at him wide eyes.
"It's a Shift."
Nax took a sharp breath. This was bad.
"Did it notice you?"
"Yes, that's how I knew. It looked at me."
"Any sign of the pouch?"
"No, but I crossed a human scent — could have been Larna's, about halfway across the field."
Nax rubbed his eyes, thinking desperately.
"Did it see you come here?"
"Don't think so, it stayed where it was. I don't think it thought I was a Shift. It would have tried to kill me if it had, wouldn't it?"
"Maybe. But we don't know why it's there. It could be random, and so not looking for people."
Kina drew her knees up to her chin and asked the important question.
"What do we do now, Nax?"
"I… I don't know,"
"Should we wait until it leaves?"
"It might find the pouch, if it hasn't already."
"Even if it has found it, it doesn't know where the settlement is." There was a hopeful hint in Kina's voice. Both she and Nax were first years in the Higher Magic Academy of Earth in Merun, having graduated from the Lower Magic school last winter. It meant they were old enough to act like adults, but at heart remain children. Kina, Nax knew, still had a childish innocence that had no place outside the walls of Merun. Nowhere was safe.
"Don't be naive," Nax knew he sounded harsh, but she needed to hear it. "They'd search the whole area, for mile and miles. They could find us. They could destroy Merun and…"
A snake, black as night with deep crimson eyes, slithered into the hole… and smiled.
Note: Shift — A human in animal form. All mages have an animal which is closest to them in spirit, and through simple study can learn to take its shape. However many years of study are needed to master its behaviors and traits, and some never fully achieve perfection.
Prologue
Nax slowly moved the rock to one side, peering into the field. All seemed quiet. A bitter wind was blowing from the South, causing a slight rustle amongst the wild tomato plants. The noise it created was eerie, but was nothing to be afraid of. He listened, carefully, extensively, and all seemed natural. He noted a bird, some sort of wader, on the far side. Was that normal? Was there water near here? Yes, just over the marsh grass to the East. Still, what was it doing in the field? Slowly, Nax lowered himself back into the hole, where Kina was waiting patiently.
"Well?" She whispered, glancing upwards.
"Not sure about a bird. Wader."
"There's water, not half a mile away,"
"I know,"
Kina glanced upwards again "Should we wait?"
Nax considered. It was probably just a regular bird, not a Shift , but the consequences of a wrong decision weren't even worth thinking about.
"Everything I know tells me to give up. There are other fields and better times. However, Dendil sent us here to make sure that Larna didn't drop her herb pouch. If she did, it can be discovered. We have to go into the field. If that bird is a Shift, it must not find that pouch!"
Kina nodded slowly. "What should we do?"
It was a difficult decision. Firstly, the bird had to be identified as either true bird, or Shift. He didn't have a longbow, thus simply killing the bird wasn't an option. He mentally kicked himself for not bringing it along, although crawling down the tunnel would have been tricky. He looked Kina in the eye.
"You'll have to Shift and investigate the wader."
Kina looked taken aback, but quickly calmed herself. "Me?"
"I'd do it, but horses don't come out of holes." Rarely did Nax regret having such a large animal as his Shift, but now was certainly one of those times. "All you need to do is approach it and see what it does. You know the signs."
Kina nodded, remembering. "Yes, I know them. And if it is?"
"Make sure you act natural and you'll have nothing to worry about. Just return here and we'll figure out what to do,"
With a final moment to compose herself, the young Earth Mage closed her eyes and Shifted.
A rabbit left the hole, slowly and carefully. Kina knew that rabbits always looked nervous upon leaving the safety of their burrows, since they had so many natural predators. Hopefully none of them were in the field. She twitched her ears, listening. The slight breeze rustled the grass nearby, the trees whistled slightly. She sniffed. A deer and her fawn had passed here not too long ago, so had a fox, most likely at dawn, so thankfully it probably wasn't still in the area. Tomato featured strongly on the wind, basil, heather and foxglove more subtle. No scent of man. Not that Kina had expected any.
She took a hop forward, in the direction of the wader. Wanting to move faster, she knew that rabbits only had two speeds, slow and running. She'd have to go slow. Neither could she go in a straight line. She paused to nibble the grass, which tasted awful as usual, and sniffed the air again. Still normal, still natural.
Another couple of hops and she stood on her hind legs, ears erect. She could see the bird, pecking at the ground. Back on the ground, she crept forwards again, nibbled and sniffed. Man. Flattening herself immediately, she fought the urge to run. It was strong, not to long ago, maybe a few hours. Before dawn. Could it be Larna's? Gathering her wits, Kina sniffed again, trying to find any telling signs. The scent was overpowering.
After a minute, Kina came to the decision that the smell most likely belonged to the healer. While the human smell itself held no clues, a subtle undertone of sage and other herbs was unusual to all but healers, who spent so long in their herb gardens that they took on its smell. Surely the scent belonged to Larna. She decided to continue. Maybe the pouch was nearby.
She made good progress and was soon near the wading bird, near enough to get a good look at it. The black and white bird had a long, slender bill that curved upwards towards the end. It had murky blue legs which made it quite tall from a rabbits perspective. Kina identified it as an Avocet.
The bird seemed unperturbed by the sudden appearance of a rabbit and carried on feeding. Kina nibbled at the short grass. It looked normal. It was stood correctly, from what she knew of Avocets at least. Did they eat insects, which was what it seemed to be searching for? She knew they ate water insects. It wasn't reacting towards her at all. It was strange that it was alone and at the edges of a tomato field though. Kina wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Maybe Nax would come to a better conclusion. Nibbling, she turned away and hopped back the way she'd come, hopefully now she and Nax could look for the pouch, find it if it was there and return home. The whole day had been a nightmare so far, if they hurried they might even make it back for the afternoon meal.
Taking another nibble she took one last look behind her, and froze. The Avocet was staring right at her, unblinking, with small, jet black eyes. Horrified, Kina's heart skipped a beat in her chest as panic began to rise within her. The stare was too focused to be a bird. The gaze had human intent behind it.
Kina didn't know what to do. She pretended not to have seen the stare and forced herself to keep nibbling at the grass. She flicked her ears, nervously. If she returned to the hole, the bird Shift might see where she'd gone and discover the tunnel back. But if it found the pouch they'd be in trouble anyway. The bird had begun to feed again, losing interest in her. Good. She was confident in her ability to act like a rabbit, after all, she'd studied them for three years. With a deep breath she hopped back into the longer grass and began the nerve-racking journey back, which had to be taken slowly.
Nax sat in the hole entrance, watching the opening intently. Kina had been gone a while. True she was only a rabbit and therefore would take a while to cross the field, but still he worried. He should have been able to go himself. Again, he cursed his Shift. As a horse he was built for speed and endurance, perfect for missions that required swift movement or long distance, like message sending. But in these situations, stealth was required and he was thus useless. If this tunnel was discovered, his village would be in grave danger. The village had a tunnel network, which its people used to get to places like the tomato field above without being seen. They were all only large enough to crawl down, with wider exits covered up by a false stone. They all led back to the village, which right now Nax believed to be a very big flaw.
The sudden appearance of Kina broke his line of thought. Once inside, she lost the rabbit shape in a panic and looked at him wide eyes.
"It's a Shift."
Nax took a sharp breath. This was bad.
"Did it notice you?"
"Yes, that's how I knew. It looked at me."
"Any sign of the pouch?"
"No, but I crossed a human scent — could have been Larna's, about halfway across the field."
Nax rubbed his eyes, thinking desperately.
"Did it see you come here?"
"Don't think so, it stayed where it was. I don't think it thought I was a Shift. It would have tried to kill me if it had, wouldn't it?"
"Maybe. But we don't know why it's there. It could be random, and so not looking for people."
Kina drew her knees up to her chin and asked the important question.
"What do we do now, Nax?"
"I… I don't know,"
"Should we wait until it leaves?"
"It might find the pouch, if it hasn't already."
"Even if it has found it, it doesn't know where the settlement is." There was a hopeful hint in Kina's voice. Both she and Nax were first years in the Higher Magic Academy of Earth in Merun, having graduated from the Lower Magic school last winter. It meant they were old enough to act like adults, but at heart remain children. Kina, Nax knew, still had a childish innocence that had no place outside the walls of Merun. Nowhere was safe.
"Don't be naive," Nax knew he sounded harsh, but she needed to hear it. "They'd search the whole area, for mile and miles. They could find us. They could destroy Merun and…"
A snake, black as night with deep crimson eyes, slithered into the hole… and smiled.
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