Staplers are weapons of Mass Destruction

[Linkachu]

Okay... so, I just half tuned-in to a radio report on our national radio station, and I've been left very "WTF?"'d.

From what I caught, a guy was tasered 5 times by police because he was considered a threat. What was he armed with? ... A stapler. They didn't even say "staple gun". Just an office stapler.

Supposedly the guy died in hospital, too.

...

Ahh. Okay. That report was referring to an incident over a year ago at the Vancover airport. The man was a Polish immigrant. My memory sucks, so even if I had heard about it I probably forgot.

Still. A stapler? When these guys were trained and armed police officers?

Gotta love the logic of this world sometimes

Found a report on it.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Everyone knows that common office supplies are a staple of armed terrorists! >>;

 

[Linkachu]

The future destroyers of this world will be armed with thumbtacks and sticky notes.

Police have been trained to shoot first, ask questions later. It's for the safety of us all!

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Thumbtacks can be lethal if driven into the right chakra points, and sticky notes? deaaaaadly. Just draw the right kanji on them before you stick them to your opponent and... yeah.

Honestly in a world where people are detained in airports for having a frigging keychain...

 

[Psycho Monkey]

You can't be too carefull with those keychains, esspecially if there are keys attached. Your house key could slit someone's throat, and car keys are like mini daggers. Never underestimate the power of a key.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Not to mention those oh-so-handy Keyblades!

 

[NonAnalogue]

I dunno. If I saw a guy walking towards me with a key the size of his torso, my first thought wouldn't be "Oh crap, I'd better get out of this dude's way."

...actually, yes, it would, but not because I was worried about the key as a weapon.

 

[Doctor Oak]

"stable gun"

A gun that shot stables'd be pretty awesome.

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Not to mention those oh-so-handy Keyblades!

Ah yes, how could I have forgotten the keyblades. A blunt instrument of doom capable of slicing through skyscrapers. The Ansem Reports say it all: Keyblades were used to bring destruction and ruin to the world.

 

[Linkachu]

A gun that shot stables'd be pretty awesome.

Hahaha... That it would, Alex. That it would. XD

*Casually fixes her typo* xp

 

[PokemonDP]

The stapler is deadly, I swear. It's gone through my thumb twice.

You're all forgetting the most simple yet complex office-weapon-of-mass-destruction, the pencil! Buh buh buh buuuhhh!

 

[Cody]

Ahhh, the pencil *demostration of Joker-esque magic trick on a passing n00b*

Though what of the pencil sharpner? Razor blades...

Erasers....I know they are out to kill us all. Just look at it, whenever you use it, it leaves shavings. You rub those on the ground. They get vacummed up and sent to wherever. Eventually, there will be so much eraser shaving that it will cover the Earth. I developed this theory in fourth grade.

Also, I want a stable gun.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

RESPECT THE STAPLER, AND TAME THE STICKY TAPE!

 

[Shiny Motley]

I seriously tried to cut myself with a key once. Didn't work too well... but that's because I was too afraid to draw blood. XD

Of course, the computer is out to kill us all. But the other weapons aren't to be underestimated either. *hides from a pencil*

Ah, more than a year ago, my pencil was falling. I tried to catch it, and it stabbed me. And I had to play in a concert right after. Now I have a permanent black mark on my left hand's ring finger...

 

[Satoren]

This is probably why they invented the safety measure of encasing office supplies in yummy lemon-lime gelatin.

Also wielding a pair of scissors katar-style is fuuuun.

 

[Chibi]

*adds staplers to the list of weapons of mass destruction that will be used when I take over the world*

Lolz. I'm not surprised though, anything can be a lethal weapon if used properly. Now how am I gonna get my neighbor's staple gun....

 

[RLRL]

A stapler and a couple of bored Clerks can be one of the worst combinations imaginable. Working for a Zavvi Store christmas before last the security guard and I used to staple eachother whenever we had the chance, the puncture wounds were badges of honour, and lots of my tshirts still have random staples on them.

 

[Magpie]

I have a permanent lead-coloured mark under the skin in my left leg. A pencil got me when I was little. It bled so much too and even though I did my best to clean it, the mark remains

 

[Secad MS]

In seventh grade, people were bouncing new pencils on their erasers up as far as three feet. However, when I tried it, I nailed myself in the face just a centimeter below my eye. It bled.

Add bouncy, new pencils to the list of dangerous office supplies, too!

 

[Hoenn Master]

...

 

[Rozi]

Every type of stapler is EVIL! Thank you for listening and have a nice day.