The Pizza Batt Bad PRP Contest!

[KoL]

Yeah it's that time of the year again, and sponsored by the Pizza Batt corporation this year around we present the Pokecharms Bad PRP contest!

Rules are as follows: First poster sets the scene for our shitty RP in the Pokemon universe. From there the objective is simply to make the shittiest RP posts you can and be crowned the worst RP'er in the contest, which in this case would make you the winner of the contest.

A few things to note:

- Blatant troll posts don't earn as many fail points as ones that could be mistaken for the real deal for anyone who didn't know better. There is a line between genuine shit and parody, and in this case the latter is not as good for you as the former.

- Shit grammar will earn fail points, but shit content (and you know what makes a shit RP post already, or at least you should) earns FAR more points than shit grammar alone. Feel free to combine both if you want, but don't go overboard on the bad grammar since you will risk hitting the parody problem explained in the first point.

- Crossovers ARE allowed and probably recommended. You can be a Shinigami/Naruto Ninja/Transformer etc. if you want to, after all there's nothing like a shit crossover RP post to really foul up the place. Although the RP is limited to taking place in the Pokemon universe, your characters and their abilities are to do with as you see fit.

So yeah, whoever sucks the most wins. There's really no rules to this and only the above guidelines to go by, so have fun and let the suckfest begin!

 

[Dwayna DragonFire]

Spoiler

Theme: PokeMon/Homestuck Crossover

[glow]A yung women stands in her bedrooom. 2day was hr 13th birtday nd she was goin 2 bcom the graytest pokemin master of all teh land her name ws PRETY GUrl lol jk her real name was DESTIny vanTAS, relitive of KARKat bcuz she was hlftrol w/pink blood and halfdragnit. she wnt 2 the pokmon lab and profsser oak sad she was most butiful women he had evr seen nd gav her specal pokebal w/a shinny drgonte insid witch she mad a very specail bnd with rite away.
She went bak home 2 massage her bf DAVE STRIder who was cutst boy in all of homstuk and thoht she was most buttifull woman in all tim bcuz he was nite of time nd culd see her as yung 4ever. they wer playin Sburb 2gethr and she was their threw the meteor showers nd even bro Strider luved her as well enoff that she had a 3some w/both of the stridrs.
sHE STARted her jurny on root 1 nd was waitin 4 other traners to show up so she culd prove she was best in not only leag but best at plying sburb bcuz she also had a SHINY CHARlizrd lusus named charly he told her all the seacrits of the game. it as olny a mater of tim b4 she wuld bcom chmpoin and godteir as a seeer of mind just like TErezi bcuz her sing was libra 2.[/glow]

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

hername was glowing gardevor &d she amlost deserved it it wasnt her rlname of cours she called hers elf that after her mom and dad wer kild by evil ninja. she was chosen onwe and only thret to evilninjaas rise 2 pwer or something idk burt aftr ninja kill her parnetses ninja toell her she wuz wizrd adnd true hair 2 hose slitheryn. its beean ten yrs and now she waz vigilante superheore /w super drk magic wnds in srch of revengeance
she was tall n skinny n hd one gren eye n 1 purple eye and hair the color of SPACE lk with nebaublaesa n galaxys n u culd se the univurse in it like her grtst childhood hero who was her big sister IRIS xcept she was from the futur so she wz older n hotter thn her sstr and every1 loved her exvpet those who didn't but theyre stupid and they suck ok i mean srsly!!!111!1!! n e way she was wering a drss like a gardevor except with shorter skrt and fshnets n 1 grn n 1 prpl armsocks lke her eyes except backwrds. she wuz glow becz be4 she came back in time from teh futur she got bittn by radoactv swoobat n now she is vampire n drinks blood but only from bad ppl becz she is paragon of justic so n e way 1 dya g;owing gardevor was on roof of opeculid city gem with sunst n hair in breez makinn her l00k all badass wn suddnly MYSTERIUS DRAGON PKMN like blk dragonit bt w face blads like haxuros n six angle wings lik reshirom n drill tail liek dunsparcs n cover in glowing red mystikal runes fly up n set fir to city!!1!

glowing gardevor: STOP!!11111 u CAN'T do dis!
The dragn laffd lik evil n sayd:

dragn: I AM ALUDIN SON OF DIALG & I WIL EAT WORLD AND TIEM ITSLF RAWR U CAN'T STOP ME!​

glowing gardevor: U WILNOT GET AWAUY WIT THIS!!111 U W.lL EAT JSUSTIC! So she puld out hr wands and used two avdava kevadra at aldiun BT ALUDIN SCALES MAKE MAGIC BOUNCE OFF HIT CITY1!1!!1 bt everyone in opeculidcity wer on fire anywahy so it was nt very effective. tjhen aluidn usd DRAGN DRILL n make drill /w dragonbreth and gym was destryd bt glowing gardevor was fine b/cuz she jump off roof n used wingardum levosia glowing gardevor was super angry now n wen she angry she has specl powr...

glowing gardevor: IM ABOUT TO UNLESH MYT RAGE!!!

N she glow briter and grow bigr and skin turn grEEn n hair stand up n poof n turn yelow cuz she went SUPER SAYAN 9001. ONOES say alinud but it wuz too late!!!111

glowing gardevor: DIS HAIR OF MINE GLWS /W N AWSUM POWAR ITS BRNING GRIP TELS ME 2 DEFET U TAKE DIS MY LOV MY ANGR N ALL MY SORROW FUS RO DAH! did 1 mentn dat becuz she Iris sister she also drgnbron wl I SAYIT NOW BECAUSE SHE IS BEST EVER n/ dragonit fanted when hit by shout n glowing gardevor use master ball 2 cach aladin it shook 3 tiems n caught

glowing gardevor: HORRAY I CAUGHT ALUDIN!!!11111

gotta go brb will continu dis later~!!1 XOXoxoxXOOX ♥<3<3 >3> its a fish lol

 

[Teapot]

hi who wants to rp???

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Data wins.

TEAPOTALITY​

 

[KoL]

hi who wants to rp???

Spoiler

You may now all continue with your RP'ing.

 

[Shiny Motley]

hai gaiz so i wanted 2 start a new rp it will be set in my own region called MIRAI!!!!! ~~ ~~ ~~ so any1 who wants 2 join plz post a caracter forme & then maek ur 1st post~ ♥ ♥ ♥

name hime misaki
age 10
gender female
starter a shiny female eevee named lyni~~~~~~~~ she doesnt like pokeballs and wont evolve yes
pkmn team kaiogre (sry i cant spell) plusle minun shiny!gardever mienshao azelf (she can have 7 bcuz her eevee is not in a pokeball)
past she had an abusiv famly n didnt liek them so she ran away from hoem and ran into team rocket!! but they took her in n she became 1 of them but then she didnt liek them so she ran away form them 2 n stole 1 of theyre experemants which is her eevee who can evolb at any tiem and then devolv 2 so cool!!!!! so she is now start on her pkmn jornee to b a master!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RP POST:
"LYNI WE SHULD GET UP" the evee woke up n rubed her eyes "hime-sama do we have to" (i 4got to say that lyni can talk oops sry) "its our big day rise n shiny" (haha c wut i did thar) lyni still didnt get up so hime piked up the pkmn n before lyni could re act they wer out teh door but then they c a shadow "oh no it must be team rocket!" hime said and sure enough using her telepathy she hears theyre thoughts "heheheh we got her now" "lyni go on w/olut me" she tells the eevee n throws the pkmn outside "wait" "no please" lyni cries as she waches hime get take by rockets as she hide under bushes after wut feelz liek ours she crawls out but sees another shadow! oh no! she growlz at thefigure "who are you show yourself are you with team rocket!!!???"

(OOC: NOW IS UR CHANCE PLZ POST! ♥)

Spoiler

I'm sorry.... I think my head exploded

 

[Psycho Monkey]

sudenly a man waring a tuxeedo braeks in2 teh room an beets up al uv teh trainrs in teh room w/ his arcus. "man i m so kool!" he say givn a tumsup an shoin his shiney wite teef. "lets go arcus!" he jumpd on arcuss back an flu of in2 teh sunset.

 

[Linkachu]

(hihi! ~~ i can't understand anyone elses posts so I don't know whats going on.
I'll do my best though!)

Ash Ketchum and Pikachu and Misty were on a date by the river with a picnic basket and brock was there too and Daisy was dating Brock. "this weather is great!" said Ash. "Misty do you want to play beachball in the river with Pikachu?"

"ash you idiot pikachu would shock me if we played in the water!!" yelled Misty angrily. "Your always thinking of Pikachu first. I thought you loved me?! i dont want to date you anymore!" and Misty angrily stomped away and Ash yelled at her "Stop Misty I do love you!" but Misty wouldn't listen because she was so angry. Brock and Daisy laughed.

"Misty is so sensitive isn't she honey?" said Daisy.
"There childrne. One day they'll understand what love is like us." and Brock and Daisy hugged.

"Fine be that way i'll just eat all the food myself and play with pikachu!" Ash yelled angrily at Misty and stuffed food in his mouth. Pikahcu was sad and ran after Misty. "Pikachu come back!" ash yelled angrily and throw the food and ran after pikachu.

A big colorful bird suddenly appeared in the sky and Ash stared at it and yelled, "Who's that Pokemon!? It's Hooh!" And Ho-oh started talking to Ash telepathically "<Ash the world is in danger and your the only one who can save it. please save the world your our only hope.>" Ash nodded and said "I understand Hooh!" and ran off to find Pikahcu and Misty and told them what Ho-oh had said.

"I'm helping too! You cant hog all of the glory."

"Fine!" Ash yelled angrily "You can come too. Maybe we should go get Brock and Daisy and then we'll be stronger?"

"Theres no time we have to go, brock is useless anyways he only cares about daisy." said Misty.

"<Ash there are other people and Pokemon that you must find or you cant save the world. All of your are the chosen warriors of Arceus and you have to find the sacred PokeStones and put them back on the alter in the tree of beginning and Mew will help. Hurry there isnt much time to save the world!>"

Ash nodded at Ho-oh and told Misty and Pikachu what Ho-oh had told him.

"But how are we going to find these chosen warriors? The world is huge we can't do it!!"

"We can do it, believe in me Misty, you know I can do it if I just try hard enough!"

"Oh Ash I love it when your brave" and she kissed him lightly on the cheek. Ashs face went bright red and he yelled angrily, "Don't do that Misty!"

Suddenly there was a noise in bushes and Pikachu growled "Pikaaaaaa!" and an shiny Eevee appeared!

"Wow a shiny Eevee! I'm going to catch it" said Ash and he threw a Pokeball at it, but the pokeball didn't work on the shiny Eevee.

"Ash you baka, you have to weaken a Pokemon before you catch it. Y are you always so stupid? Anyways the shiny eevee can talk, I bet it belongs to someone!"

"Pikapika piiiikachu pika pika pikachu!" said Pikachu to the shiny Eevee. Pikachu looked sad.

"Were not with Team Rocket! I hate them! Team Rocket sux and there always trying to steal Pikachu! I hate them so much!!" yelled Ash angrily.

"Good then help me, my trainer was kinapped by team rocket! Her name is Hime."

"That damn team rocket! I'll stop them! Are you a chosen warrior, Lyni?"

"What's that?" asked the eevee.

"Well talk later, lets go save your trainer first! Team rocket are evil and they might try to kill her!"

And Ash and Pikachu and Mity and Lyni ran off together to find team rocket. brock didnt know where they went and looked for them but couldn't find them, so he went home and cried.

(im sorry for the long post. This is my first time rping on a site and I hope it was good. THANKS!!! )​

 

[Shocari]

Benedict Cumberbatch Ketchum was an amazing pokeymans trainer!1!! He had defeted evrey champ from all the regins and all of the bad teams people1! his mother was ash kethcum and his fsther wus misty and he also looked like benedict cumberbathc who is sexy as hell!1
But like all heros he had a dark secrit...HE WAS ALSO PART POKEMON :O
BUT NOT ANY POKEMON NO HE WAS PART SHINEY UMBRION(that is so cool i wish i was part shinny umbreon :'()
what that means is that he can tarnsforme into his pokeymon half whennever he wants and can use attacks and stuff! he could use shadoball dakrpuls physic andbeeat uup
but anwyays ben(as he liekd to be calld) herd one day aboat bad thigns that were going on so he went and saved lyni and asche and misti(who are his parent and the rest of world becaus he is the sexy hero

-_- ~evil~ ~;;~ ~~

ths is my 1st rp i hope u gus like it

 

[Shocari]

OH OHOH AND I FORGOT HE WAS ALSO FREINDS WITH ALL OF THE LEGENDRY POKEMONS LIKE MEWTOO AND ARCREUS AND FENKEN CHESPIN AND STUFF

HES SO COOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL

 

[Shiny Motley]

LINKACHU WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY EEVEE TALK!!!!!!???????? ~;;~ ~~

sry cant post 2dae bcuz hw n grownded by SUPER MEEN MOM N DAD....................................

BUT WILL POST 2MOROE!!!!!! ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

 

[Dwayna DragonFire]

[shadow]y didnt the glow work???!!!! o well i gess its tiem 4 me 2 post agian lol cleerly u all neeed help ~~

when the psyco guy cam 2 beet all of the peeple up destiny jus happened 2 b bside her qest bed so she fell ontop of it nd assended 2 gotdeir but insted of just a seeer of mind she bcam a Lady of mind wich ment she ws matsprit w/Lord english who had a shinny Dialg as his pokmon (bcuz they r both lrds of time gte it lol
"U REAlly shouldnt mes w/me siad destiny 'i will call 4th my matesrpit nd bfs 2 defeet u"butt it was obviously 2 late she wuld neeed 2 use her powrs 2 get bage nd bcom chmp COM 4th aLL of U' SHe shuted

'I AM HEre" shotted lrod englihs'anD U WIL DIE DAIlga usd raor of time 2 dfeet all of teh other pokemons nd the striders cam 2 save all of the peepl nd bendict cumbrbach and ash nad brock nd all teh other boys fell in love w/her bcuz she was preteist gurl ever the striders cam over and tld her that she ws so prety as lady fo mind and tehy all totaly had sxe it was the hotest orgy of all teim[/shadow]

 

[KoL]

I think we're reaching the end of this suck-fest... not that I blame any of you for not wanting to shame yourselves further by posting more crap, so to put you all out of your misery you will all be receiving your Fail Points and rankings tomorrow. If you wish to add some more shit to the pile then now is the time to do so.

 

[KoL]

IT'S GRADIN' TIME!

Dwayna

Spoiler

Your idea for a Pokemon/Homestuck crossover was inventive enough, and awful enough as well. You stand out as being the only person to (not including Sho's double post) post two fail RP posts, which has been taken account in your grading. The bad grammar, pink text and Sue characters are your bog standard suckage, but for me the clincher is the fact that your character made everyone else's fall in love with her and have sex with her at the end. I sincerely hope that everyone that bares witness to your legendary ass-suckage is as disgusted as I am.

Fail Points: 94/100

Stel

Spoiler

Is there anything you DIDN'T cross over into this? We have ninjas, vampires, Glowing Gardevoir is in Slytherin or something and is Dragonborn AND is Super Saiyan... I don't know, this is extremely incoherent. You have probably made Glowing Gardevoir the biggest Sue in all of existence I'd say. Although I will have to deduct some points due to how dangerously close the post comes to "So Bad It's Good" territory, you still earn a huge number of points for the staggering amount of fail managed here that must be commended.

Fail Points: 92/100

Teapot

Spoiler

One day you will get a numerical score in this contest I'm sure, but this year, once again...

Fail Points: Banned/100

Shiny

Spoiler

Completely disregarding everyone else's posts is an awful way to start and it only gets worse from there really. From there on in we have a trainer with 7 Pokemon, two of which are legendaries, one of which is FUCKING KYOGRE, and from there on in things just plummet downhill. Abusive parents, taken in by Team Rocket, steals from Team Rocket etc. I mean we have the epitome of generic here. Your utter lack of imagination employed and that's before the RP post itself starts, where nothing of value or worth occurs except for us learning that the Eevee can talk. Well fucking done.

Fail Points: 91/100

Psycho Monkey

Spoiler

Fail Points: 74/100

Linkachu

Spoiler

I should commend you for actually getting a score that isn't negative this year. At the very least you can walk away from this with the greatest improvement in score. Your... post... is even more generic and unimaginative than Shiny's is, but loses points for being coherent. However it gains points for being more of a fanfic chapter than an RP post, so well done.

Fail Points: 80/100

Shocari

Spoiler

Well now we know how Ash and Misty's relationship went in Katie's post... part shiny Umbreon? I'd love to know how that happened when Ash and Misty are his parents, so you gain points for completely defying logical sense just for the sake of making your character a Sue. Also you double posted to tell us this guy had legendaries and the Gen VI starters for whatever reason. Well don't you just suck ass?

Fail Points: 86/100

And with that, the results are as follows:

Spoiler

Earning 3rd place is Shiny Eevee with 91 Fail Points
Earning 2nd place is Stellarwind Elsydeon with 92 Fail Points
Earning 1st place is Dwayna Dragonfire with 94 Fail Points

This makes Dwayna Dragonfire our Fail PRP Champion!

Special note goes to:

Spoiler

Linkachu for actually getting a score above 0 this time around.
Teapot for getting Banned Face'd for the third consecutive year.
Stellarwind Elsydeon for making the only post I actually enjoyed reading yet managing to fail so hard it didn't detriment his score all that much.

So, uh... I would say "well done" to you all but I'd hardly consider that appropriate after all this shit you've posted. So instead, here's Rengar eating a pizza:

See you all same day next year for more abysmal failure posts! Feel free to keep this PRP going if you wish to suffer some more.

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Well apparently I fail at failing. At least KoL's reaction was amusing! XD

 

[Dwayna DragonFire]

I can't believe I actually won this year. I am amazed and appalled at myself at the same time. Congratulations to everyone for epic fail, though. :3