Byron Facts

[KoL]

These are true facts about the Gym Leader Byron from the Sinnoh region. All the statements given in this thread are 100% true:

- Byron was the meteor that created the Giant Hole in Unova.

- Behind Byron's beard is another shovel.

- It was once believed Byron could fly. This is in fact untrue; he simply digs upwards.

- Byron is in fact King Leonidas's long-lost brother. While Leonidas was talking to the messenger, Byron was digging the well.

- Byron never digs with full power. If he did, he'd split the planet in half, throw the broken half over his shoulder and fling it into the sun.

- Byron actually worked for Nintendo long before Pokemon ever hit the scene - who do you think made all the bottomless pits in the Mushroom Kingdom?

- Byron also dug all the caverns in the planet SR388. He's also the reason why there's only 39 Metroids still alive on the entire planet when Samus arrives there.

- Byron's Beard is a hidden hold item in D/P. It makes the holder's Dig a OHKO move that can hit Flying-types and Levitators.

- Byron is currently suing Excadrill for attempted identity theft.

- Byron once tripped and fell while visiting Vermillion City. The collision of his beard hitting the ground created Diglett's Cave.

- Byron created the Sinnoh Underground in less than twelve parsecs.

- What do you get when you combine Byron's shovel and Byron's beard? Deathwing's chin. Proof that some combinations are just too good to be true.

Feel free to post your own, but ONLY if they're good.

 

[Secad MS]

Ah, a Chuck Norris-style thread about that good ol' Steel man.

-Byron could have dominated in the gold rush in America, but he found more appeal in the steel industry, thus encouraging the emergence of steam power.

-Byron doesn't change a light-bulb--he digs through the earth to take someone else's.

-Before Byron was a gym leader, he dug graves and made caskets. He still does that--now the customers are those he has beaten.

 

[Satoren]

-There were orginally going to be three more legendaries in Sinnoh, but Byron killed all of them.

-Byron is the reason Cresselia is roaming around Sinnoh. She is actually fleeing from him.

-Byron doesn't dig down, the Earth simply rises up around him.

-Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Byron can dig through water AND swim through land.

 

[Galaxite]

Byron LOVES BASTIODON.

^ Had to have seen the Anime episode.

 

[Weeds]

- Seven Island used to have a big-ass mountain on it, until Byron karate chopped it. The remains are known as Seavault Canyon.

- Snow White's seven dwarves are actually consisted of Byron's sweat.

- The Badgermoles of Avatar: The Last Airbender are actually called Byronmoles.

 

[Secad MS]

-Speaking of Avatar, Kyoshi was really Byron in drag.

-When Byron mines for steel, all he has to do is call for it.

-Byron is so cool and smoking hot, he can forge steel by just touching it.

 

[Satoren]

-If Byron were a Pokemon, all he would need to use is Fissure; not only will it never miss, but it will subsequently KO the opponent's entire party and the Pokemon in his/her PC Boxes.

-Byron can revive fossil Pokemon with his sweat, and when he does they will have perfect IVs.

 

[Toastie]

-Castelia City had to be rebuilt after a fire created from the sparks that came from Byron scratching his beard

-You know how some sons say they are in their father's shadow? Roark is literally crushed by Byron's shadow - he's been in hospital for months after they've met for lunch

-Byron can dig so fast he can go back in time

 

[Brendan Savem]

Mt. Coronet isn't a real mountain; it's just the dirt pile Bryon made after digging out the middle of the Unova Region.

Bryon's Sand Attack is a 1-hit-KO move.

Bryon is the Original One. He made Dialga and Palkia by rubbing a pale and prism sphere against the underside his beard.

 

[Indie]

-Byron can break free from a Master ball.

-Byron doesn't need a shovel. He need only whisper his name to the land.

 

[Doubled]

-Sprout tower doesn't sway because it used to be a Bellsprout. One day, Byron decided to dig a lake next to it and the tower shook in fear.

-Byron doesn't lose battles. If he were to use all of his strength, the universe would explode from the strike of his shovel.

-Team Galactic didn't blow up Lake Verity, Byron just scratched his iron beard, which made sparks fly, resulting in the explosion.

-Byron doesn't walk. The earth simply moves underneath him out of fear.

 

[Secad MS]

-When Byron Flies, the earth celebrates. The earth celebrates quietly, however, as the Steel man would dig it.

-Byron has a shovel in his pants.

-Byron lost his virginity before his father. That's why Byron's father turned prematurely grey in the games.

 

[Weeds]

- If you were to walk around in Byron's beard, you'd be butt-raped by Dugtrios and Excadrills.

- The Himalayas are a pile of Byron's droppings.

- The Byron you battle in D/P/P is not the real Byron, if you were to beat the real Byron, your DS would implode.

 

[Secad MS]

-Byron doesn't need to divide by zero. He simply needs to dig through the hole.

-You know the saying that someone is always better than you in something? That 'someone' is Byron.

 

[Dark Soul]

-Byron's shovel is made of Adminium, which he mined with his left-hand pinky. (Ten points if you get the reference.)

-Byron's beard hairs are made of the strongest material in the universe; Byronium.

 

[Blazi]

- The Earth was created by Byron's gaze

- Arceus is actually a pile of Diglett droppings Byron breathed life into

- Byron never actually looks at you, if he did you'd disintegrate

- Byron's Beard isn't actually a beard, it's really millions upon millions of tentacles that sense where everyone and everything is in the universe

 

[Jenova]

-You know how the Pokeworld and our world are separate, right? Byron dug us out of the Pokeworld because he needed to build his gym.

-Byron never actually built his gym. He kicked a pebble until it turned into a building.

-Back before it changed its name to Unova, the region was originally named "The Footstep of Byron."

 

[Secad MS]

-"Before Unova changed its name back?" No, Jenova, Byron simply got bored of the name.

-There's a reason there is an 'Oh' sound at the end of Sinnoh. It used to be called 'Sinne,' but when Byron stepped foot on it for the first time after its creation, it let out an orgasmic 'Oh!'

 

[The iFlare]

-Every time Byron takes a step, a puppy is saved from getting hit by a car.
-In the music video for the song "Your Love is My Drug" by Ke$ha, she was talking about Byron's beard, not her boyfriend's.
-If Byron were to armwrestle with Chuck Norris, God would have to rewrite the laws of reality.
-Byron birthed Roark without a woman.