Oh, my...where to begin.
To start, I'll use the terminology in the OP and say that I am a biromantic cisgender homosexual or, in a word, homoflexible. Basically, I happily identify as a male, the gender I was assigned at birth, and I am, for the most part, attracted to the same sex, with a very strong romantic and sexual attraction towards other guys; however, I am slightly attracted to the opposite sex romantically, as well as having an infinitesimal amount of sexual attraction towards the opposite sex.
I suppose that there were always signs that I was almost exclusively attracted to guys, although most of them I only spotted in hindsight. Throughout the first decade of my life, I was fascinated by a number of older boys I'd met, and I would follow them around, ask them lots of questions, and generally annoy them by tagging along whenever they hung out with their friends. I would tell my parents about how "cool" they were, and how much I enjoyed being around them. However, I was never terribly interested in any of the girls I met.
Then, in my pre-teens, I started glancing at other guys during gym, without realizing why. At this point, I was still convinced that I couldn't be anything but straight. In other words, I was ignoring all the signs and remaining in denial.
Then, in my freshman year, I began noticing a lot of small things: how I enjoy seeing the male heroes in films without shirts on, how I wasn't drawn to girls despite thinking that they looked pretty, how little I cared about getting a girlfriend compared to my male peers, and how I felt no reaction to all the instances of female nudity in the TV shows and films I watched. An yet, I still ignored these signs at first, because I was experiencing romantic attraction for the first time...towards a girl. I also did not have romantic thoughts about guys, so I couldn't possibly be into them. Right.
So anyway, while I did experience my first crush on a girl, and I had genuine feelings for her, they were purely romantic. I felt a reaction at how beautiful she was, but I still felt no sexual desire whatsoever towards her. Well, long story short, it didn't work out. However, there was a guy I'd met that year who I was friends with. I did not get to know him long, as he moved in to Virginia a year before I moved away. However, he was one of the nicest, friendliest, and most accepting guys I'd ever met. He had very many nerdy habits and interests, a lot of which I shared with him, and he was a fellow band kid, but he was also very athletic, and fairly intelligent. He was also very good-looking, in both the facial area and the body. It was only in retrospect that I realized that I'd had feelings for him. So, I experienced my first crushes on both a girl and a guy that year, but while the first was purely romantic, the second was both romantic and sexual, AND it was definitely stronger.
Anyway, the year after I moved(the year before this one), I thought about all this, while experiencing crushes on more and more guys, but not any girls. I began to see myself only with another dude, not a girl. In addition, while thinking about being with a girl felt awkward and uncomfortable, thinking about being with a guy felt both natural and powerful to my senses. Now, I've become more and more accepting of it, embracing all the thoughts and emotions and fantasies that come with it. I can fully see myself in a long-term, loving relationship with another dude. There's still some residual self-doubt and fear, but I'm trying to deal with it as well as I can.
Now, as for actually being in a relationship, that will not happen for a while, as I have many personal issues to deal with before I'm even ready for that sort of thing. I also have to work on my social skills and actually making friends before I concern myself with seeking out love.
As for the rest, there's not really much to say. I have always felt perfectly comfortable with being a guy, despite not being anywhere near the stereotypical male. However, I don't act very "feminine" either, nor do I have any desire to wear any girls' clothing or anything like that. I'm a dude, and I'm okay with that, and no one has ever mistaken me for a girl in any way(besides being called Stephanie by mistake, because "Stephen" is apparently a difficult name to pronounce for most people ). So, yeah, I'm cisgender.
Of course, I'm still not 100% sure about my sexuality, and it's still incredibly baffling to me sometimes. However, I now have absolutely no problems being non-heterosexual. I'm just concerned about how some members of my extended family might take it, being much more religious than my immediate family.
One thing that helped me come to terms with this is the increasing number of LGBT characters in media. Some of Rick Riordan's books, for example, have a closeted gay male teenage character whom I strongly identify with and relate to, what with the loneliness and depression and whatnot. Having someone who voices exactly what I was feeling did help matters.
So, TL;DR, I'm a dude who's almost exclusively into dudes, and I'm finally okay with it.
To start, I'll use the terminology in the OP and say that I am a biromantic cisgender homosexual or, in a word, homoflexible. Basically, I happily identify as a male, the gender I was assigned at birth, and I am, for the most part, attracted to the same sex, with a very strong romantic and sexual attraction towards other guys; however, I am slightly attracted to the opposite sex romantically, as well as having an infinitesimal amount of sexual attraction towards the opposite sex.
I suppose that there were always signs that I was almost exclusively attracted to guys, although most of them I only spotted in hindsight. Throughout the first decade of my life, I was fascinated by a number of older boys I'd met, and I would follow them around, ask them lots of questions, and generally annoy them by tagging along whenever they hung out with their friends. I would tell my parents about how "cool" they were, and how much I enjoyed being around them. However, I was never terribly interested in any of the girls I met.
Then, in my pre-teens, I started glancing at other guys during gym, without realizing why. At this point, I was still convinced that I couldn't be anything but straight. In other words, I was ignoring all the signs and remaining in denial.
Then, in my freshman year, I began noticing a lot of small things: how I enjoy seeing the male heroes in films without shirts on, how I wasn't drawn to girls despite thinking that they looked pretty, how little I cared about getting a girlfriend compared to my male peers, and how I felt no reaction to all the instances of female nudity in the TV shows and films I watched. An yet, I still ignored these signs at first, because I was experiencing romantic attraction for the first time...towards a girl. I also did not have romantic thoughts about guys, so I couldn't possibly be into them. Right.
So anyway, while I did experience my first crush on a girl, and I had genuine feelings for her, they were purely romantic. I felt a reaction at how beautiful she was, but I still felt no sexual desire whatsoever towards her. Well, long story short, it didn't work out. However, there was a guy I'd met that year who I was friends with. I did not get to know him long, as he moved in to Virginia a year before I moved away. However, he was one of the nicest, friendliest, and most accepting guys I'd ever met. He had very many nerdy habits and interests, a lot of which I shared with him, and he was a fellow band kid, but he was also very athletic, and fairly intelligent. He was also very good-looking, in both the facial area and the body. It was only in retrospect that I realized that I'd had feelings for him. So, I experienced my first crushes on both a girl and a guy that year, but while the first was purely romantic, the second was both romantic and sexual, AND it was definitely stronger.
Anyway, the year after I moved(the year before this one), I thought about all this, while experiencing crushes on more and more guys, but not any girls. I began to see myself only with another dude, not a girl. In addition, while thinking about being with a girl felt awkward and uncomfortable, thinking about being with a guy felt both natural and powerful to my senses. Now, I've become more and more accepting of it, embracing all the thoughts and emotions and fantasies that come with it. I can fully see myself in a long-term, loving relationship with another dude. There's still some residual self-doubt and fear, but I'm trying to deal with it as well as I can.
Now, as for actually being in a relationship, that will not happen for a while, as I have many personal issues to deal with before I'm even ready for that sort of thing. I also have to work on my social skills and actually making friends before I concern myself with seeking out love.
As for the rest, there's not really much to say. I have always felt perfectly comfortable with being a guy, despite not being anywhere near the stereotypical male. However, I don't act very "feminine" either, nor do I have any desire to wear any girls' clothing or anything like that. I'm a dude, and I'm okay with that, and no one has ever mistaken me for a girl in any way(besides being called Stephanie by mistake, because "Stephen" is apparently a difficult name to pronounce for most people ). So, yeah, I'm cisgender.
Of course, I'm still not 100% sure about my sexuality, and it's still incredibly baffling to me sometimes. However, I now have absolutely no problems being non-heterosexual. I'm just concerned about how some members of my extended family might take it, being much more religious than my immediate family.
One thing that helped me come to terms with this is the increasing number of LGBT characters in media. Some of Rick Riordan's books, for example, have a closeted gay male teenage character whom I strongly identify with and relate to, what with the loneliness and depression and whatnot. Having someone who voices exactly what I was feeling did help matters.
So, TL;DR, I'm a dude who's almost exclusively into dudes, and I'm finally okay with it.
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