There are no applications. You are selected by an elite committee, which alternately chooses staff and discusses how to overthrow various major governments, and their decision is final and their patience thin. Staff are then taken at birth and raised in Pokécharms HQ - selected at birth for their abilities, birthright, and proficiency with armblades, banishing their enemies to the Void, explosions, wielding pizza with deadly effect, or any other useful skill. They undergo many years of rigorous training and discipline, and eventually are unleashed into the world to fight crime, administrate and generally kick ass. They are not the heroes we deserve, but the heroes we need to stop our fair website being crushed by legions of n00bs. A thankless job, but one which must be done.
By which I mean you don't become staff, you are chosen and have the position offered to you if we feel you can work well with us and add something to our team. No-one who has ever asked to become staff has been handed a position, and no-one who asks ever will. It's also not exactly sunshine and roses - this is not a Minecraft server, where staff ranks mean nothing but favouritism and the ability to abuse the system for your own amusement. Here, you earn respect as a valued member - nearly all of the non-founding staff did, and so do all our regulars. We don't pin a shiny "YOU TRIED" badge on you.
Do your best to be a solid member of the community, like so many people here. Trust me, that's worth far more than a red or green badge.