Or are legendaries getting more and more abundant and more and more ZOMG EPIC?
Generation 1 had it simple: Three, uber-rare 'Legendary' birds, one-off in the games though shown to have multiple instance of existing in other forms of canon (primarily the anime), one psychotic genetically-engineered 'superclone', and one cute, DNA-rich lil' unobtainable rodent. The birds each had their own story and they had some influence on the weather (according to the 2nd movie anyway), but that's all there was to it, really. 5 Legends, no big deal.
Gen 2 introduced Ho-Oh, with some form of control over life (as it was said to be the creature who revived the OTHER legendary trio, the Legendary Beasts known as Raikou, Entei and Suicune, who were killed and revived with the whole burned tower thing - we should have seen it coming from here, but since Ho-Oh was given virtually no attention, we didn't) and Lugia, which, while lovely, is still by no means epic. And yes, the time-travelling unobtainable grass-pixie Mewannabe. So that comes up to 6 legends, 11 grand total.
The next thing we knew, we had Generation 3, LEGEND EXTRAVAGANZA. Gen3 hit it off with its three Mascot PokéMon, the weather trio. This was the first time that the legendaries were really plot-related - which made their 'epic battle of doom'-ness at least somewhat plausible. They were Kaiorga, Groudon and Rayquaza. By now, we should have had the WARNING! WARNING! Klaxons ringing, but we ignored them, for the plot made sense and yeah.
That's when things got odd. Latios and Latias, the new answer to the Legendary Beasts, with just their amount of significance - pretty much nil (Not counting the whole Alto Mare gig.) And then we have the three elemental golems, the Regis, (which made us all wonder at first 'Wtf? Are those really PokéMon?', and made some of us reach the conclusion that they were locked behind walls of braille just because the ones who sealed them gouged their own eyes out to deal with the ugliness - although with time we've gotten used to them and even learn to like them in their own freakish way) were also somewhat epic, or at least, their puzzles were annoying to an epic level. It was also the first generation to feature more than one unobtainable - the freakish, Jagan-on-stomach-bearing Star Jester Jirachi, and the bizzare shapeshifting Deoxys, a marvel of pseudo-science (which is possibly one of the niftiest legends to date, at least in my twisted opinion - even though their basic R/S form looks like C-3PO on drugs). Legendary count for this gen, so far, is 10, making a grand total of 21.
... And now this. Let us take a quick run down of ALL legendaries in Gen 4, eh?
First of all, the mascots. Dialga and Palkia. RULERS OF SPACE AND TIME, ZOMG. If they go haywire, it's not just the WORLD that's at stake. It's TEH UNIVERSE ITSELF! ZOMG, THE FABRIC OF SPACE TIME!!!1!1!(one)!!1!! Does it get any more epic than this? Watch this space!
The legendary trio this time are the three legendary Emos, aka Psychic Midget Patrol - basically Mewannabes with funny hats. They're the phantom spirits of the lakes of Sinnoh and their energies are required to summon the aformentioned RULERS OF SPACE AND TIME ZOMG! Mildly epic as a result of that, too.
And now starts the endless flow of random legendaries. This includes Giratina (a crossbreed of Shedinja and a Saturn Worm from Beetlejuice with random wings that supposedly lives in the spirit world and requires much annoyance to obtain), Crescelia (a female-only psychic... thingy), Headran (Doctor Wily's Pet Molten Lava Toad), Regigigas (The King of all Regis, made quite possibly of Marshmallow, Sprinkles, Broccoli and a touch of gold), Manaphy (A Clione-based Mewannabe who isn't ZOMG PSYCHIC) and Fione (A bizzare made-in-taiwan Bootleg version of the former), all of which classify very nicely as The Legendary WTFs (On account of them having no significance whatsoever to the plot, except to be annoying to obtain and potential sequel material, though none of them are ZOMG EPIC enough to compete with the main legends).
As if THAT wasn't enough, we get a hail of THREE unobtainables. The first is the lord of Dreams and Nightmares, Darkrai, a creature that you definitely DON'T want around you while you're sleeping. Epic? It definitely has epic potential.
The second a cute timid little Chia-Pet hedgehog that almost seems out of place between the unobtainables to be mentioned.
Then we have Aruseus, maybe the most ZOMG EPIC of all - a huge over-leveled, ridiculously fanmade-like PokéMon that looks like a cross of a Stantler and an Absol that was strangled by a celtic knot, collects fine china and lives in another dimension trying to convince people that it is teh ZOMG GOD OF ALL POKéMON, and that Palkia and Dialga are aspects of it, or some such Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva triangle or other.
Let me point out at this point that when a 10-year-old-brat armed with an uber-trained cute fuzzy puppy kitten can pwn a god and make it his or her bitch for the rest of its natural born existence... It just isn't a god anymore. Sorry.
So. for anyone who lost count, that's three midgets, two zomg epic deities, six wtfs, and three unobtainables. 14 legends just THIS gen. Toss that into our current count and we now officially have 35 legends. God help us all. Not teh fine-china collector PokéGod either.
And anyway, what are we betting on that Gen 5 gets even MORE epic?
I can see it all now: Deusaint (A Psychic/Ghost God PokéMon dwelling in the sky and commanding vast celestial legions of flying types). Lucifear (A Dark/Ghost Devil PokéMon dwelling in the core of the earth commanding vast demonic armies of fire-types). For aeons they have been amassing their strength, preparing their strike against each other in a war that will rage across the heaven and earth and destroy the universe in a clichéd armageddon-like display of power.
Riding as the heralds of the apocalypse are the four legendary centaurs (because ya gotta have horse-men somehow): Equwar (Steel-type, featuring more cannons and swords than could be good for it. And two huge lances on its sides. It posesses the ability Bloodlust, which sharply increases the foe's attack, but makes them confused!), Falomino (Ground, representing the barren earth, it is the world's most anorexic-looking equine, its ability reduces all stats of what faces it - YOU try fighting when you're hungry!), Pestaur (Poison-type, armed with the deadly Disease Cloud ability which instantly badly poisons the foe just by BEING there!) and lastly, Skullion (Ghost type, a skeletal Centaur surrounded by a grey misty outline, its very presence in battle has a chance to cause automatic fainting unless foiled by an ability or a special item, LoL EPIC!!!).
And As you can't have a good Revelations knockoff without some kind of Antichrist, we have the Fione-version of Lucifear, the pure-dark type Pentot, and its oposite number, fione-version of Deusaint, the pure-psychic type Cruxon (Which completes the holy Pokétrinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Goat, Aruseus).
Also, Insert a few pantheonic legendaries for good measures - Beelzebite the Bug/Dark type, and Gabriarch the Fire/Psychic type, for one. I could come up with more angels and demons but my memory of Christian pantheon is kinda sketchy. They'd probably get some Shinto twist into them too and get redubbed anyway so why bother?
... And there'd be cherub and imp unobtainable mewannabes too. Just because I said so.
Lastly, to complete the air of madness, the main character's going to be slightly psychotic and the final form starters are all part-steel Biomechas of death with freaky cockpit like constructs in their heads.
PokéMon Genesis Evangelion: Heaven, Hell and coming soon after, the special Purgatory Edition! Coming Soon to an alternate reality near you!
Generation 1 had it simple: Three, uber-rare 'Legendary' birds, one-off in the games though shown to have multiple instance of existing in other forms of canon (primarily the anime), one psychotic genetically-engineered 'superclone', and one cute, DNA-rich lil' unobtainable rodent. The birds each had their own story and they had some influence on the weather (according to the 2nd movie anyway), but that's all there was to it, really. 5 Legends, no big deal.
Gen 2 introduced Ho-Oh, with some form of control over life (as it was said to be the creature who revived the OTHER legendary trio, the Legendary Beasts known as Raikou, Entei and Suicune, who were killed and revived with the whole burned tower thing - we should have seen it coming from here, but since Ho-Oh was given virtually no attention, we didn't) and Lugia, which, while lovely, is still by no means epic. And yes, the time-travelling unobtainable grass-pixie Mewannabe. So that comes up to 6 legends, 11 grand total.
The next thing we knew, we had Generation 3, LEGEND EXTRAVAGANZA. Gen3 hit it off with its three Mascot PokéMon, the weather trio. This was the first time that the legendaries were really plot-related - which made their 'epic battle of doom'-ness at least somewhat plausible. They were Kaiorga, Groudon and Rayquaza. By now, we should have had the WARNING! WARNING! Klaxons ringing, but we ignored them, for the plot made sense and yeah.
That's when things got odd. Latios and Latias, the new answer to the Legendary Beasts, with just their amount of significance - pretty much nil (Not counting the whole Alto Mare gig.) And then we have the three elemental golems, the Regis, (which made us all wonder at first 'Wtf? Are those really PokéMon?', and made some of us reach the conclusion that they were locked behind walls of braille just because the ones who sealed them gouged their own eyes out to deal with the ugliness - although with time we've gotten used to them and even learn to like them in their own freakish way) were also somewhat epic, or at least, their puzzles were annoying to an epic level. It was also the first generation to feature more than one unobtainable - the freakish, Jagan-on-stomach-bearing Star Jester Jirachi, and the bizzare shapeshifting Deoxys, a marvel of pseudo-science (which is possibly one of the niftiest legends to date, at least in my twisted opinion - even though their basic R/S form looks like C-3PO on drugs). Legendary count for this gen, so far, is 10, making a grand total of 21.
... And now this. Let us take a quick run down of ALL legendaries in Gen 4, eh?
First of all, the mascots. Dialga and Palkia. RULERS OF SPACE AND TIME, ZOMG. If they go haywire, it's not just the WORLD that's at stake. It's TEH UNIVERSE ITSELF! ZOMG, THE FABRIC OF SPACE TIME!!!1!1!(one)!!1!! Does it get any more epic than this? Watch this space!
The legendary trio this time are the three legendary Emos, aka Psychic Midget Patrol - basically Mewannabes with funny hats. They're the phantom spirits of the lakes of Sinnoh and their energies are required to summon the aformentioned RULERS OF SPACE AND TIME ZOMG! Mildly epic as a result of that, too.
And now starts the endless flow of random legendaries. This includes Giratina (a crossbreed of Shedinja and a Saturn Worm from Beetlejuice with random wings that supposedly lives in the spirit world and requires much annoyance to obtain), Crescelia (a female-only psychic... thingy), Headran (Doctor Wily's Pet Molten Lava Toad), Regigigas (The King of all Regis, made quite possibly of Marshmallow, Sprinkles, Broccoli and a touch of gold), Manaphy (A Clione-based Mewannabe who isn't ZOMG PSYCHIC) and Fione (A bizzare made-in-taiwan Bootleg version of the former), all of which classify very nicely as The Legendary WTFs (On account of them having no significance whatsoever to the plot, except to be annoying to obtain and potential sequel material, though none of them are ZOMG EPIC enough to compete with the main legends).
As if THAT wasn't enough, we get a hail of THREE unobtainables. The first is the lord of Dreams and Nightmares, Darkrai, a creature that you definitely DON'T want around you while you're sleeping. Epic? It definitely has epic potential.
The second a cute timid little Chia-Pet hedgehog that almost seems out of place between the unobtainables to be mentioned.
Then we have Aruseus, maybe the most ZOMG EPIC of all - a huge over-leveled, ridiculously fanmade-like PokéMon that looks like a cross of a Stantler and an Absol that was strangled by a celtic knot, collects fine china and lives in another dimension trying to convince people that it is teh ZOMG GOD OF ALL POKéMON, and that Palkia and Dialga are aspects of it, or some such Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva triangle or other.
Let me point out at this point that when a 10-year-old-brat armed with an uber-trained cute fuzzy puppy kitten can pwn a god and make it his or her bitch for the rest of its natural born existence... It just isn't a god anymore. Sorry.
So. for anyone who lost count, that's three midgets, two zomg epic deities, six wtfs, and three unobtainables. 14 legends just THIS gen. Toss that into our current count and we now officially have 35 legends. God help us all. Not teh fine-china collector PokéGod either.
And anyway, what are we betting on that Gen 5 gets even MORE epic?
I can see it all now: Deusaint (A Psychic/Ghost God PokéMon dwelling in the sky and commanding vast celestial legions of flying types). Lucifear (A Dark/Ghost Devil PokéMon dwelling in the core of the earth commanding vast demonic armies of fire-types). For aeons they have been amassing their strength, preparing their strike against each other in a war that will rage across the heaven and earth and destroy the universe in a clichéd armageddon-like display of power.
Riding as the heralds of the apocalypse are the four legendary centaurs (because ya gotta have horse-men somehow): Equwar (Steel-type, featuring more cannons and swords than could be good for it. And two huge lances on its sides. It posesses the ability Bloodlust, which sharply increases the foe's attack, but makes them confused!), Falomino (Ground, representing the barren earth, it is the world's most anorexic-looking equine, its ability reduces all stats of what faces it - YOU try fighting when you're hungry!), Pestaur (Poison-type, armed with the deadly Disease Cloud ability which instantly badly poisons the foe just by BEING there!) and lastly, Skullion (Ghost type, a skeletal Centaur surrounded by a grey misty outline, its very presence in battle has a chance to cause automatic fainting unless foiled by an ability or a special item, LoL EPIC!!!).
And As you can't have a good Revelations knockoff without some kind of Antichrist, we have the Fione-version of Lucifear, the pure-dark type Pentot, and its oposite number, fione-version of Deusaint, the pure-psychic type Cruxon (Which completes the holy Pokétrinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Goat, Aruseus).
Also, Insert a few pantheonic legendaries for good measures - Beelzebite the Bug/Dark type, and Gabriarch the Fire/Psychic type, for one. I could come up with more angels and demons but my memory of Christian pantheon is kinda sketchy. They'd probably get some Shinto twist into them too and get redubbed anyway so why bother?
... And there'd be cherub and imp unobtainable mewannabes too. Just because I said so.
Lastly, to complete the air of madness, the main character's going to be slightly psychotic and the final form starters are all part-steel Biomechas of death with freaky cockpit like constructs in their heads.
PokéMon Genesis Evangelion: Heaven, Hell and coming soon after, the special Purgatory Edition! Coming Soon to an alternate reality near you!
Last edited by a moderator:
