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This is my random Pokemon fic of doom. Please note that it reflects some of my personal anxieties and fears, through Rain's eyes. I may or may not write more. Please tell me your opinions. Many thanks
You skim over a few things a tad - I'd like to see more of this bully, not in any especially detailed way, but perhaps a better reason to dislike the person? At the moment all that stands is that the people of the college are formless, faceless and baseless.
It's kind of like eating a very, very fluffy and light mirngue. Nice, but I'd prefer a muffin...
I prefer to spread my details out. If I continue this, there will be a part where the "bully" is described in better detail while talking to her friends. The whole group of bullies will be described. Surge will play a role quite a bit later. I've already got an idea for his role.. Also, mostly in the next chapter or so, the campus, professors, and what not will be described. =)
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