Let's Play PokeMon Black! (Image Heavy, Spoilers, The Whole Shebang)

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Right! Before you all jump down my throat, this is kind of a sister (or brother) thread to my dear beloved SCT's White LP thread, conceived at the same time as hers and using the same set of smilies which I personally made for both our usages. And while I can't hold a candle to her swanky, swanky running gags, I hope you will find this entertaining too.

Also, my translation patch is slightly... newer.... than hers. Its camoflage may last forever.

"We own your soul and the souls of your firstborn."

Because they haven't mentioned themselves enough.

Space, the final frontier...

... RIDE ON SHOOTIN' STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~

... I think Kirby is going to sue somebody.

This proceeds to pinball around for a while before exploding in a shower of letters into more shameless self indulgence by the developers. Because obviously one title screen was not enough.

Ominous mysteriously illuminated castle.
About tea time.

Weird cults: because every region needs one.

Forget Kirby, I think Square-Enix are going to sue somebody. Notice how sparkly everything is. If you look closely at the ceiling you might see the stage workers beating Edward Cullen.

... Wait. Did I miss something? When did we get to the Vatican? Also note how they have no wrinkles at all. Them cardinals have some cutting-edge anti-aging technology.

"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about my ridiculous outfit?!"

Vegeta's with the crown, he moves towards the papal throne, he shoots, he scores-

TOUCHDOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN!

Look at the completely not-suspicious gaze the Cardinals are giving this young boy. Yyyyyyup. It's the Vatican alright.

Oh hai Riku, fancy seeing you in this franchise!

Yu-Gi-Oh meets the Jungle Book. Oddly free of priests. Or maybe that's what he told himself to erase the trauma...

As he prepares to slam the crown down on the kid's head.

While these two seemingly unrelated chicks watch on with a chronic lack of expression.

Watch closely: This is N's Crowning Moment of Awesome.

Has anyone Seen Kyle? He's about this tall!

... I am still not sure if he's trying to cosplay a castle or Majora's Mask.

HOPE. REAL HOPE.

"Dream"-inducing smoke sold separately.

Warning: Crossing the dimensional barrier may lead to color-blindness and CHANGE. REAL CHANGE.

For those who feel particularily adventurous, try sticking a Leopardas in a poofy dress.

IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZOR~

SHOOP DA WHOOOOOP!

VOTE BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON! A strapping fellow with a fiery personality, if a bit on the pale side.

Uh, yes, I think I'll take the variant of complete alien that I don't understand over the variant of complete alien I vaguely understand which has been partially replaced by something I DO understand.

Uh huh. Sure, Lady. You and all the other PokeMon Professors.

TL;DR: there's over nine thousand of the little fuckers, they have super powers and the only reason we're calling the shots around here is because we have what they don't have: Plastic.

A clone of Yu-Gi-Oh GX's protagonist or a girl whose fashion guru is Klonoa.

No, I'm a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

Yes, and next you'd want to know my quest and my favorite color.

Obligatory. *nods sagely*

Yes, and I'm gonna be the new King of Games! You know, because the fellow with ridiculous hair and gilded puzzle is so last season.

Which you apparently know on a first-name basis.

I haven't seen such a feeble attempt at the Fourth Wall since that one guy forgot the name of his own grandson.

And he's okay.

He sleeps all night...

And he reads all day.

And she is in no way related to another blond airhead who dresses in orange, white and green.

None at all.

DO NOT QUESTION.

And both of them obviously want me. Seriously, why else would they be stalking me all the damn time?

Well, Yes, I've always been smrat for my age.

By this point the lady went all motivational-speaker on my ass and invited me over to her place. It's how she gets her victims.

DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY. *Boom boom, tweet tweet*

Oh you self-indulgent bastards. How many times do you need to see your name on this game?

Not to be confused with the OTHER Black Version.

Waitaminute, what are you doing in my house?

Sneaking in and out without a word.

And no one noticed her. Even me and I was in the damn room all along!

"Yo, Jaden. Earth to Jaden. Are you listening?"

"Do you think I'll ever achieve achieve the title of 'Isshu's Top Superbishie?'"

"I mean, I look the part, and I can do exaggerated drama! I mean, check out my impression of Red from PokeMon SoulSilver!"

"... And where is that peroxided bitch? I mean, how bloody hard can it be to be on ti- she's right behind me, isn't she?"

They yak at each other for a while. They always do. I've kinda learned to tune them out. It takes them a while to realize that there is a - when the hell did that get there?

And inside the box, there was a rainbow~

(... And starters.)

And so I am offered the choice between a snake with legs and a popped collar that turns into some kind of bunny-eared french aristocrat...

A pig with bunny ears which, after a brief stint at the circus, becomes Ganon with a Flaming Beard...

Or this sad looking fellow, who eventually mutates into some form of samurai amalgamation of marine mammals.

...

I can already tell you and I are going to be bestest friends ever! (to those who wonder, I've already trained the snake on a different run and I wanted to try the otter.)

The blonde doofus takes the pig because OH MAH GAWD IT'S LIEK SO CUTE ( : ), whilst the ladyboy grabs the snake because it's oh so elegant and goes wonderfully with his suit.

Oh boy. What did I get myself roped into when I wasn't paying attention?

"Alright. As of now, we are officially PokeMon Fight Club. The first rule of PokeMon Fight Club is: You don't talk about PokeMon Fight Club!"

Only this girl would stop to adjust the reception on her satellite dish of a hat before a battle.

A Tacklefest commences. The otter, clearly, is not amused.

Owned.

...

How did those prints get on the damn ceiling?! It's obvious: Pokabu is spider-pig. And it does whatever a spider-pig does.

"Did I do thaaaaaaaaaat?"

Cheren: Nurse Joy in training. The black hair thing is just a phase.

Did anyone else just hear an alert?

"Oooh! Oooh! Can I play Referee too? Please? Pretty please?"

(sigh) The sacrifices we make for our friends.

Okay, maybe you can be Isshu's Top Superbishie.

OBJECTION!

"Hmph. I say, old chap, that critical hit was in rather bad taste!"

"Beginner's luck."

TSUTARJA used LENS FLARE!

...UMARU is not impressed.

And one MORE critical hit later...

"Impossible! Our Double Smugness Combo failed?!"

"Bah! This sucks. Imma go chill with your mom. Maybe she can give me some fashion tips!"

YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN! ... Waitaminute. What about my room? THIS WHOLE FIGHT CLUB THING WAS YOUR IDEA! WHY I OUGHTTA- CHERENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

The blondie chirps something and runs off after him.

Leaving me alone to survey my little guy. In spite of doing large hunks of damage to my friends and property, his attack stat appears to be un-boosted by nature. Seems like his special defense is a bit on the weak side. I make a mental note to keep him away from electrical outlets.

Sigh. Better go and see what are these two loonies up to...

"And that's how I saved the Isshu Region from the Plague of Marauding Mechanical Minezumi!"

"And I helped!" ;D

"O RLY?"

"What a delightful story! Now, run along kids, someone needs to advance the plot! And remember what I told you about mixing corduroy and silk!"

And off they go.

"Oh, by the way, I got you a new communicator gadget thingy."

"... Little does he know that I will be able to use it to track his signal down at all times, yes..."
Says my mother as she turns to a nonexistent audience and tries to break the fourth wall...

This jumble of letters translates vaguely into 'Live Caster'. It casts lives.

GOGDAMNIT BELLE STOP SCARING THE PIGEONS DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU HARASSED THE BIRDS?!

Uh oh. Household drama senses tingling...

"OBJECTION!"

Oh snap. I knew it.

"I've had it!"

"I'M GONNA GO TO THE BIG CITY TO FIND MY REAL FATHER! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!"

!

... What's with her? And what the hell is that sound that I hear every time she realize someone saw her?!

Yeah. Best get out of here. And watch the sparkles in the water. Someone's been beating vampires up again apparently.

Oh right. That's right. Professor McNinja invited us over to her place. Let's see what she wants.

"Hello and welcome to the world of PokeMon! My name is Araragi, and I- Oh wait. I gave you that speech already. Nevermind."

More dialogue. Tuning them out again...

"So. Now that you've gotten acquainted with your new battle thrall- err- best pal, want to give him a name and completely deny the last bit of free will he still has?"

Because I couldn't fit 'Zudomon' into five characters.

They KEEP TALKING. FOR AGES. ON END. My meditation is only broken by... THIS SOUND AGAIN! ... Except that now it sounded almost like it's not sure if it's an alert or not! I give up. If something is going on here, It's probably too contrived for me to ever know. Ah well, not like I'll ever get involved in some contrived plot of my own. Ever.

And eventually she gives me one of these iPod clones...

And runs off.

You know, Every time I stand this close to Belle I hear this weird wooshing sound. I always thought it was the oxygen escaping her brain to her hair, but...

Oh, whatever. Let's check out my new toy.

GASP!

Then the realization dawns on me. I've just been drafted into the PokeDex Project. It is now my destiny to walk around the world and point this thing repeatedly at any bloody creature I see. I walk outside in stunned silence.

THUD!!

My mom's impression of Red beats Cheren's by a LONG SHOT.

Town Map Get!

And she proceeds to give those two misfits ones too. You know, because they don't have parents to get them cool shit. The woman spends money like she's made of it. No wonder dad left.

"And remember to call home once in a while, it might give you a status ailment if you don't!"

"I think your mother has got her America clones confused."

And off they go. Maybe if I wait around for a while I won't have to deal with them for-

... Oh no. I'm hearing the voices again...

Apparently it means a lot to her we'll take the first step of our journey together. Ah well.

SQUADALAH, WE'RE OFF!

Yes, yes, It's all so symbolic and meaningful. Now SILENCE.

... YOU! How did you get HERE all of a sudden?

"Since you three are complete newbies who obviously know nothing about the world outside this backwater village, I am now going to spoon-feed you EVERYTHING you need to know about the world. Remember how your mother always told you never to go into tall grass?"

"Forget that shit."

"By the power of my Ice-Cream Hair, I summon ye!~"

Fancy Rodent VS Psycho Chipmunk.

The Chill Army proceeds to change the port on its controller and strikes accurately and mercilessly.

Interestingly, Psycho Chipmunk's eyes are actually tiny. The hypnotic markings are just that: markings. Also, grade A translation there, PokeMon Project. They certainly lernd them some gud books on English!

"And then you huck a small plastic ball at it..."

"And ZING!"

"Hello, Dinner!~ o/`"

Okay, that wasn't creepy at all.

And off she goes again.

"Hey, uh, what do you suppose she meant by that?"

"She probably meant for the Tsutarjas. They are snakes, after all, they eat mice..."

(There's that alert again!) "Wait, so THAT'S why she catches so many of them?"

"Hmph! That's animal cruelty! Why can't she feed them carrots or something instead?"

"Come to think of it, what does meat come from in this world? Hn, I wonder if Pokabu bacon cooks itself... "

And then they left. Leaving me alone again, to truly start my journey...

The spring breezes gently blow, carrying the scent of new adventure (and those damnable dramatic Sakura Petals - seriously, what's WITH them?!) - And as the boy and his mustelline companion gaze upon Route 1, they prepare themselves for a perfectly normal PokeMon Trainer journey, the likes of which most kids go through instead of doing something productive with their lives. I mean, surely their mundane journey to obtain eight tokens of battle victories will not be fraught with danger, ancient myths and giant legendary dragons that will dictate the fate of the entire region.

No, that's the sort of shit that happens to other kids. Especially ones with Pikachus.

By the way, what IS a Pikachu?

To be continued~

 

[Dark Soul]

I lol'd the entire time while I read this, Stel. I love the sarcastic way you translate the grapics in and the random quotes you spout. Something tells me you'd be the best game reviewer ever~

I am eager to see more!

 

[PokeTeen]

I love the way the C-Gear looks i want this game so bad!! also does your room in the game ever get fixed from the two battles?

 

[Secad MS]

This is awesome on an electronic bun, Stel. The drawings really make this more amusing.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

]

Insert Dramatic Action Music of your choice Here.

The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky.

Keeping with traditions, there is always a PokeMart employee goofing off in the first route.

Waiiiiiiiiiit. You mean this guy was waiting here for the entire duration of my offscreen training montage?

GOG'S SAKE, PEOPLE, DO YOU ENJOY WATCHING ME BEAT DEFENSELESS PUPPIES AND PSYCHO CHIPMUNKS FOR HOURS ON END?! >

... Oh god someone save me from all the yak-

... I REALLY need to change my ringtone.

Belle and Araragi gab at each other like with un-matching lipsynch like an old Kung Fu movie. Cheren and I don't say a bloody word. For Cheren, that's a definite first!
... And I swear if anyone calls us the Araragi Bunch I will punch someone.

Just then, they notice the fact there's a town behind them and run off. Presumably to shop for clothes. Bloody fashion freaks.

Visit Historical Karakusa Town! Home of the Historical Stairway to Random and Very Little Else!

How quaint. They have knights guarding the exit. Maybe the route ahead is reserved for some renaissance faire or something...

In a bulding...

This guy gives me a plastic ball while his psycho chipmunk gives me an eerie look.

Oh REAL SUBTLE THERE, GUYS.

Lovely view from up here. ;D

... Didn't you just call me? And you were only a few steps away? What's wrong with just TALKING to people these days?! Have we fallen so low as a society that we cannot even talk to each other without the aid of electronic gadgetry even if we are merely a few steps away?! Tsk tsk, Araragi. I am disappoint.

She proceeds to drag me into the PokeMon Center. Where Belle already is, with her weird alerty noises. Araragi embarks on ANOTHER tutorial. Good grief, woman, who the hell do you think I am?

And why are you two staring at me so expectantly?! Okay, fine. I'll play along. :

I think some movie I once saw explained that these Seizuriffic Heal-O-Matic machines operate by bombarding the victim with concentrated UV radiation which somehow forces them to grow skin. Personally, I will be a bit disturbed if next time I send Zudon out he'll look like Milla Jovovich.

And then she drags me to explain to me how to use a computer. You know, because obviously I never used one before. Belle STILL has questions. I think the Seizuriffic Heal-O-Matic is interfering with her hat's WiFi reception or something.

Oh for fuck's sa-

THANK YOU. Geeze, you crazy tutorial lady.

Might as well do some shopping.

"Hey, check out those weirdoes at the town square!"

Oh crap walk past maybe he won't notice yo-oh crap.

Oh, it's those renaissance faire folks. Sure are a lot of them.

OBVIOUS VILLAIN ALERT. Look at his hair and those red eyes. Listen to that ominous theme that started playing. But most of all... LOOK. AT. HIS. OUTFIT. Seriously! This just SCREAMS villain.

"Hark, O brothers, for the end is nigh!"

"O RLY?" "NO WAI!"

... Is that the Eye of Sauron on the back of his cape? ???

"For the people have sinned, O brothers! Thou, and thou, and thou, and thou, are all sinners!"

Is that Majora's Mask? ???

"For thou have enslaved the creatures of the lord, ye wicked ones, and treateth them as slaves! In thy cruelty, in thy ignorance, thou bringeth doom upon us, oh brothers!"
Crap. The only thing worst than a Televangelist is a PETA Televangelist.

I find myself wondering why is he pacing about like that...

"But lo, for the faithful, there be hope for salvation! Cast aside thy chains and shackles, let loose the beasts to roam free, and pledge your donations to Team Plasma at 1-800-CASH!"

... My thoughts exactly, whatever that was.

And then I realized that the whole point of this speech was that he could do what he does best: marching up and down the square!

COMPANY. MARCH!

... And off they go. I guess they're Castleman's honor guard or something.

"And what do you suppose that was all about?"

"'ell if I know. Bloody hippies with their cosplaying and their preachin', they're a menace to the Isshu way!" >

And the crowd disperses, muttering generally in agreement. Well, that was random. Ah well, not like I'll ever see these weird knight cosplayers again.

Holy crap, Cheren, I think you've just been outbishied.

I think it's trying to communicate...

"Who are you to think you can outbishie ME?"

"My name is N-in-brackets-Enu. You can call me N. And before you ask what the hell kind of name is that I was raised by PokeMon okay how can you be so inconsiderate THAT'S IT I CHALLENGE YOU!"

"I am absolutely FAAAAAABULOUUUUUUUUS!"

And out he sends a kitty just as fabulous as he is... Is that eyeshadow? ???

BAD KITTY! *spray*

Clearly, kitties do not like water.

"Hmph! You humans are all alike! You don't understand! You never will! No human ever understood me! Only Pokemon ever did! They're my only real friends! Waaaaah!"

Oh cry me a bloody river, you furry emo kid.

"Did you SEE THAT?! I'm gonna go stalk him for a while... I've GOT to ask him what his secret is!"

... And off he runs. Somehow I get the feeling he'll say "L'Oréal, because I'm worth it".

Let's get out of here before the slash-fic writers catch wind of this.

Because connecting routes is so much easier with a small map that cleans out memory data.

... Oooh... look at the moving pictures... So... Beautiful...

Wh-what-who-when-where?!

I must have dozed off for a second. It's late late night, or early early morning, and...

I'm being live-casted at again!

"Oh hi, Mom. What are you doing up at this time of night? Where are you, these trees seem awfully familia-"

...

... You called me from THREE FEET AWAY?! Good grief, mother, think of the phone bills! ... No wonder dad left.

And apparently she ran all the way from Kanoko town just to give me a pair of running shoes.

Oh look at this giant rock and the conveniently square pit that matches it exactly in size! It's almost as if someone dug it out intentionally to put it in the way between me and that item! But nah, there is no way THAT could possibly happen. Not at all.

DAH NAH NAH NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~

"Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!"

Apparently this kid gets the feeling he's In Da Hood.

If I had a dollar for every time I saw THIS message, I could buy this entire region and import some worthwhile critters into the first routes.

No! Don't do it, mang! You have so much to live fo-

Too late!

... Wait, he's okay? NOOO! PERFECTLY DRAMATIC SCENE, RUINED!

... Nice, er, Water Gun attack there, Zudon.

I think the seizuriffic healing machine did something to his brain.

... Oh god an eyewitness.

"IN THE NAME OF THE MOON I PUNISH YOU!"

A fabulous cat is fine too.

Sailor Scouts: The job doesn't pay as much as it used to.

"Yo yo yo, I'm well RED, geddit?"

Otters: Sometimes, they moonlight as the sun.

And occasionally dog groomers.

Terriers don't like water either.

Waitaminute...

Oh no. The saccharine-y music. That rush of fresh oxygen to the air... It can only be-

BELLE.

And judging by her challenge, I say she's feeling

bellicose.

Interestingly, only Belle, Cheren and N have trainer animations in this game!

*dropkick*

Bitch, please. I fought so many of these already it's not even funny anymore.

Look out, here comes the spider-pig!

"My hero!"

... IS NO MATCH FOR MY OTTER.

Uh, Belle, maybe you should be heading THIS way. You know. Town? PokeMon Center? Fainted team? Hello, are you even listening? Bah. I wonder if this is what those Plasma PETAvangelists meant about animal cruelty...

The fantranslators took away Sanyou's City License.

Let the looting commence!

What's so great about it is anybody's guess.

"You can't go up there! That's where this weird lady keeps her meth la- err, I mean, nothing! Nothing at all! YOU HEARD NOTHING."

The flying cottonpuff made a better conversationalist than the girl.

X-Speed? Is that like regular Speed except it's XTREME TO THE MAX? This city IS a drug lair, isn't it?

The local branch of Hell's Angels gives out Dusk Balls.

(Applies Google Translate) "There's a dream Kono Saki Tochi. The trainer should play Shinmai cane." But I don't know how to play the Shinmai cane.

Here I stand, at the ruins of my dreaaaaaaaaaaaaaams.

... Funny. My dreams only rarely involve abandoned warehouses.

You are challenged by Lass Eri. Or is it Lass Shiki? Bah, whatever, they both look the same. A lot of people in this region seem to.

Definitely Shiki. Look! It's Mister Mew!

Hark! A mighty shrub stands in the way! Ye cannot cut ye shrub. Try again later. Or earlier.

"Ready for a BEAT Down?!" I didn't even bother taking screenshots of this battle. He fell too easily. Poor kid, negative defenses. I guess he couldn't find the Emonga that used to be his sister after all.

For defense against those pesky exes.

CURSE YOU, TRAFFIC CONE, MY ARCH-NEMESIS!

D'YOU WANT THIS MONKEY?!

Thank you, Ollie.

It stands for "Bootleg Chimchar".

Back to school, kids!

This guy asks you a couple of questions and if you get them right, you get a Full Heal. Yay for free stuff?

Oh, it's this guy. How'd your super happy funtime adventure with the guy who's bishier than you go?

Whoa. I guess I hit a nerve there!

One look at this screen shows whose off-screen training montage was more productive.

Oh my god, he really IS feeding his snake vegetables! Wait. It's a Grass-type. Isn't that some sort of cannibalism?

This fabulous cat looks awfully familiar...

And goes down awfully familiar too. I wonder if the fabulous kid gave him his cat... Wait. That sounds awfully wrong.

You don't necessarily become a better trainer through official edumacation.

And then he attacked me with fresh fruit.

Funny, I could swear there was ANOTHER guy here just a few seconds ago...

No no no. Mijumaru Water. Tsutarja Grass. Get your facts straight.

Might as well follow the guy in...

The local Yo-Champ-In-The-Making chap. He gives you a complimentary bottle of water. They all do. I guess it's so that people will have an excuse to talk to them in the age of online type charts. Must be very lonely being a gym introduction guy.

Oh, its a restaurant. How quaint.

You have to push the button of the type super-effective against the one on the curtain to make it open. Well, let's see what behind curtain number one!

"Please be seated, and you will get served soon." Wait, wha-

WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT IS THIS?!

Oh. Chinese.

Such fine service.

Huge rodent problem, though. Health Inspector Zudon shuts them down.

Yes, yes, I know, it's hard to find jobs with the recession and everything, but you know what, lady, I don't care. You have a problem? BITE ME.

... Way to be literal. (Incidentally, Choroneko used Assist to channel the spirit of that Psycho-Chipmunk I just took out. Heaven forbid the damn thing learns something useful and STAB-powered on its own!)

Even cats channeling rodents cannot beat the long arm of the law.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Dent."

"How do you do?"

... Wait, did this guy just FISSION OFF of him?!

... And he fucking twirls before he introduces himself as Pod.

... Oh my god... Another fission... there's... three of them...

It's... like... an emo fringe... made of dreadlocks. ??? He calls himself Kon. or Corn. I can't quite tell.

They proceed to do a twirly dancy thing. I don't know who these guys are, but straight, they are not.

"By our powers combined, we are Creepy Waiter Force! We live to serve!"

OH GOD. HE HAS NO EYE WHITES. THEY'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN!

Ponce Powers Activate!

Awww. Someone needs to teach N that attack.

Motivation: Sure, it's important, but it won't save you from having your ass handed to you.

Two can play this Monkeying Around game.

What? You've got one of those ridiculous things too?

Dento sure loves his motivators.

BURN. BURN IT ALL TO ASHES! BUUUUUUUURN!

In spite of the impressive animation the attack itself is very underwhelming.

B.C.'s Broccoli-Headed Cousin decides to whip it. This goes on rinse-and-repeat for a while.

We both pause to heal our respective monkeys as they continue trying to whip and burn each other. It's almost pathetic. Zudon's giving me a look that says that type disadvantage or not, he would have curb-stomped this monkey five turns ago. The sad thing is, he probably would.

Then it suddenly seized up and collapsed. Smoke inhalation. It's bad for ya.

Ooooh. Shiny.

And they give me a motivational poster too. Now I CAN teach N this move! Not like I'll ever see him again or anything.

The seasons have turned, and with a shiny new badge to call his own, Jaden and Zudon continue their adventure in the Isshu Region, joined by B.C. the Baoppu. What will become of them? Will they ever uncover the secrets of Sanyou City? Will they ever find their way out? Why is the Site of Dreams so damn full of TWEWY references? Find out next post!

 

[baratron]

I think what makes this thread truly awesome is your attention to detail, and quirky sense of humour. Drawing the little pictures of what's been happening rather than showing us the utter tedium of level-grinding is masterful (and something I'd be incapable of, heh). I did wonder what the deal was with the three waiters when I saw their sprite on the Wiki.

Also, the world looks fantastic. I don't quite understand how a small shift in camera angle makes so much difference to the detail, but everywhere looks great. Even the Routes and their boring, yet inevitable, Tall Grass.

 

[Secad MS]

Lolz. I love the picture at the end. What does the motivational poster say?

 

[Kerauno]

Ooh. Another one. MUST READ.
Ha. Haha. Belle is the world's dumbest Wi-Fi satellite. 'Nuff said.
N IS BISHIER THAN YOU, CHEREN. DEAL WITH IT.
Oh my gods. I love you for that Sailor Moon ref. (Yes, I'm a closet Sailor Moon fan, please don't judge me...) And I think that purple cat was a Luna ref... Ironic, isn't it?
THIS PLACE IS FULL OF ZELDA REFERENCES.
OH, SO HE IS A WAITER. the world is again in balance~
Wait... Did... Yes, he DID fission off of him! And there's ANOTHER ONE!! HOLY CHEESE!
He has no eye whites?! He's not human! KILL IT WITH FIRE! (It's super-effective!)
And the Twirly Waiters gave you something shiny, and something to make N less emo. Yay~
It just keeps getting funnier and funnier!

 

[Sir Red]

Not only is this wickedly awesome in every way imaginable Stel, but you were able to incorporate one of my all time favorite (and the rarest) SNL Digital short. :3 "Hide and Seek", what a crazy song...Love it. :'D

 

[Blazi]

Oh gods another one! *Dies laughing* but seriously, this is hilarious, just like the pokemon white LP! I love all of your extra pictures and the last one just made me laugh so hard. Keep it up!

 

[Louie Forest]

I can see what happens in Pokemon Black and see you making fun of the characters! EPIC!

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

So, once Zudon finishes his official health department business, I walk out of the restaurant and oh god another stalker.

"Hi! My name is Makomo, and if you managed to survive this gym, this means you're already used to weird trippy bullshit. Good. You might come in handy."

Weirder, trippier bullshit than Twirling Mitosis Waiters? THIS I've gotta see.

"I guess you can call me a scientists, of sorts. I specialize in the biochemistry of the brain. Heh heh heh... I've been working on something... special... lately. Something... mind-blowing."

Waitaminute, I know this house...

It's so... vague... almost... filtered.

"So... Come up to the lab... And see what's on the slab... I'm sure you shiver with antici.... pation."
I swear I've already used this reference before... was it all a dream?

"See, my latest research involves dreams... I've been in this lab for days, testing multiple test-subjects, Human and PokeMon, with every kind of somnogen and hallucinogen I could cook up. I've used sleep powders, spores, recordings of the sedative singing of PokeMon and more... synthetic... methods, in various combinations and degrees of intensity, but so far they've only allowed but a fleeting glimpse... Scratching the surface... And honestly..."

We need to go deeper.

"Remember, if at any point during the experiment you want to force awakening, use this. But try not to bleed all over the bedsheets, please, they're my favorite shade of pink!"

... I don't know what I just got myself into, but it is clear that if I don't comply with this bubbly drug lord's, er, request, I will never leave this lab alive.

I suppose a little sleep wouldn't hurt...

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN ABORTABORTABORTABORTABORT-

Oh gods. That was... That was me. But it wasn't me. Or was it? I... Daaaaamn. I heard of bad trips but THIS is new.

"Whoa. You're even more messed up than I am. I like it, Teehee~"

I proceed to abscond the hell out of there.

And commence some blitz training. Just in case.

Admit it. You were all thinking it.

No place more appropriate for self mutilation than the RUINS OF MY DREAAAAAAAMS.

CUE SIMPLE PLAN!

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

It's hard to aim for your wrist when you have big glowy patches of red and yellow in your field of view at all times.

Oh god as if this music wasn't cheesy enough!

"Whoa, so, like, I was walking around this city and this pretty lady comes up to me and tells me all about dreams and butterflies and rainbows and whoaaaaaaaaaa~"
Et tu, Belle?

... Oh god, Makomo, you scary woman, what have you done to Belle's alert tone!?

"Did you hear that?

It sounded like a mutant bird!"

... Oh gods, it's a Hippie Baby Drowzee. Whatever that is.

Complete with floral patterns.

"Hey, come back, mutant birdie!"
... There is no way she can be THAT airheaded for real. SOMETHING is going on here.

"Ahah! We've gotcha now!"

"You think you could evade us forever? Hah! The pig indicator was flashing all this time!"

"... WTF?"

"Hey! Leave the innocent mutant bird alone! What has it done to you?!

"

"How dare you, infidels, to tell off the righteous Team Plasma, Liberators of PokeMon?"

"She's GOTTA be a reaper. I mean, look at that hat! No mere player has enough bravery to wear THIS!"

"We'd better liberate this pig noise then! Go! Go and be free! GO! SHOO! GIT! *running punt*"

"They don't pay me enough for this shit.

"

"... But this is a wild mutant bird! It is already free!

"

"It's not free ENOUGH! It needs to be even MORE free! ... Gah, you wouldn't understand our noble goals! We'll just have to make you understand!"

... Hey, waitaminute, why are you attacking ME?! I don't even KNOW this bitch!

... No, guys, waving a pin at me won't help you in THIS franchise.

They're even sillier up close.

More things that don't like water.

...Wait, what the-

Ottermon, digivolve tooooooooo~

SAMURAIOTTERMON!

"... Did you just Digivolve a PokeMon?!"

"Wh-... wh-... wh-"
"Oh for heaven's sake. Move aside. I'll show you how it's done."

That was pretty much all she got to do before her Choroneko met with...

catastrophe.

"Blast it! I have no PokeMon Left! This means I have to liberate this PokeMon MYSELF!"

Insert another running tacklepunt here. I find myself wondering why didn't this pink thing run away HOURS ago while these two were busy dicking around with me. I come to the conclusion that it is completely and utterly stoned, and I find myself wondering if the weird "scientist" chick has nothing to do with it.

"Stupid wild untamed creature, don't you WANT to be free?!"

"WAIT A MINUTE! If you're so keen on liberating PokeMon, how come YOU force your PokeMon to battle!"

Oh gods, It's that PETelevangelist again.

"Cease this tomfoolery, O brothers! Can you not see you are giving the church a bad name?"

"... Wait, there's TWO of them?"

"Oh, I learned this from those delightful waiters back in town. Now witness my true abilities! WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE! FORM OF-"

"CHEESY 80's SUPERVILLAIN!"

"How many more ridiculous crossovers are going to HAPPEN in this post?!"

"Let's get out of here before reality divides by zero!"

TOO LATE!

Judging by the fact that it sounds EXACTLY like the Retro Hippie Baby Drowzee only a bit deeper, I'd assume that's the mother. This smoke looks very, very hallucinogenic.

"Whoa, man, it's so pink, man! And, like, whoa... I see pretty colors, totally unreal, maaaaaan~"
Definitely hallucinogenic. Warning: prolonged exposure to hippies may have adverse effects on the mind.

"OMG!"

... How come every time some form of drug is involved, THIS WOMAN APPEARS?

I have no idea what they're saying, but I can only assume it's in an ancient dialect of stonerese.

And I don't think I want to know why they're positioned like this.

And then they floated off, leaving no evidence that they were ever there except for a-... Waitaminute. Is that a POKEBALL? Oh god I must have breathed it too.

"Oh hey pretty sciency lady, this is, like, so groovy, liek, whoa."

"Funny, I thought the effects should have worn off by now. I need to be careful with the magical leaf..."

"OMG!"

The drug lady proceeds to flip her shit. What have they got there, a level 12 Human?

"OMG OMG OMG OMG CAN IT BE?!"

"OMG YES IT IS! IT'S A FREE SAMPLE OF THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL HALLUCINOGEN! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES! TO THE LAB!"

And she runs off, utterly oblivious to the fact that she's holding a blob of pink smoke in a way that should be physically impossible.

"Whoa. Like. Did, she just, like, run off with a unicorn?"
Hm. I suppose this smoke takes the form of whatever the inhaler wishes it to be. It must be the stuff....

that dreams are made of.

(Insert YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH here)

Um, no thank you, I don't need any more illicit goods. Too pink for me, anyway.

In a fit of Curious Gerogitude, B.C. tries to find out what floating pig noises taste like. He finds out they taste like paralysis.

I proceed to loot the ever loving -eff- out of this hippie-laden crossover heap. Maybe I should go if the drug lady hasn't killed herself.

She sees me and she flips her shit again. What is your PROBLEM, lady? You know, aside from the drugs and everything.

"So, like, I analyzed this stuff, and let me tell you. Whoa. It can be used to make ANYTHING. EVER. I've just invented the replicator! "

"And I used it to finally complete the calculations needed to create this!"

"Behold! The PLOT DEVICE!"

"Warning: This device complies with part 15 of the FCC Rules. Operation is subject to the following two conditions: (1) this device may not cause harmful interference, and (2) this device must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation. ANY interference.

."

They should have stuck this warning on Belle's hat.

Funny. From her looks and personality, I'd expect this thing to be pink and full of multi-colored hearts. You learn something new every day!

"Oh yes, this thing is awesome but it doesn't have any memory capacities whatsoever so here, have this!"

Ahh, technology. You STILL need to write important numbers on paper!

And off I go again.

Oooooh, it's even prettier in person! I wonder what it's based on. Surely there is no water-type pokemon with this exact design on its head!

Interesting topiary. Very artistic. What the hell is it?

Yo dawg, I heard you like PokeBalls, so I put a PokeBall in your PokeBall so you can catch PokeMon while you catch PokeMon.

Time to traverse this floral archway into the world beyond~

Oh look, it's one of those places where they put in PokeMon so they would do things they'll regret later!

Oh look, it's one of those places where they put in the results of things Humans did and regretted later!

They just start younger and younger these days...

I guess they're Siamese twins? Maybe they're attached at the hip and THAT is why they are so oddly posed.

This chick heals your PokeMon. Probably by reading them bedtime stories. While the kids watch in stunned silence.

This is why grow up to be violent these days: their role models challenge random passer-bys to pit fights.

Case in point.

I try to make Emo useful. I fail dramatically.

And another psycho kid. What does SHE have I wonder?

It's kind of pathetic when Emo can't even defeat a lesser incarnation of B.C.

Zudon avenges the psycho chipmunk with extreme prejudice.

I'm pretty sure I know exactly what this kid has.

I knew it. They always come in themed packs.

I am getting this strange sense of deja vu...

After another quick nappytiems, I head off to face my destiny and.... wait. This is a new theme...

CHERENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Well I guess that answers THAT question!

HAH! This will teach you to feed vegetables to carnivorous reptiles!

SERIOUSLY, Cheren. NO ONE is impressed by your snake's mastery of the Lens Flare. We get it. It wasn't funny the first time.

Oh god, it even adopted his MANNERISMS.

You know, I'm getting this sense of deja vu again... What is it with people in this region and vine-whipping monkeys!? ... Wait.

Tsutarja: smug to the bitter end.

It's not as pathetic as it looks.... But pretty fucking close.

B.C. has the FURY.

Fabulous Cat needs to learn to let loose and stop... clamming up.

Well, he's certainly getting better at whining.

Did the music just change?

Brave Sir Robin ran away. Bravely ran away away.

"... Say, aren't those the PETA Televangelists from Karakusa Town?"
Yes, the PokeMon Liberating freaks. Why did we move out of the way? We could have stopped them!

"...Oh hey, guys. Did you happen to see a pair of loonies dressed up like knights?"

"... Yeah. They went that way. Why?"

"... Urgh, Jaden, you know who these guys are, why didn't you stop them?!"
... CHERENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

"Am I ever going to see my PokeMon again, miss big hat lady?"

"Don't you worry, little girl! We will save your PokeMon from the evil knights!"

"So let me get this straight, the valiant knights templar basically just... stole candy from a baby?"

"Cheren, how rude of you! She's age-challenged thank you very much!

But pretty much, yeah.

"

"My bishieness will not allow such heinous acts! Come on, Jaden, let's go rescue this age-challenged person's slave-creature from the people who want to set it free!"

And off he runs leaving me confused about the morality of the whole thing for a few minutes before shrugging it off and picking up an item off the ground. Finders keepers!

"A hah! A cave! Surely the heinous scoundrels fled here! It's perfectly safe! OR SO THEY THINK! SUPER-BISHIE TO THE RESCUE!"
Yes, certainly, run into a cave you don't know following knights that you are unaware of the strength and number of.

I'd better go make sure he doesn't hurt himself.

We proceed to have a battle. Which was so one-sided I'm not even going to bother with screencapping.

Hooray, we succeeded at winning the mission!

NOT SO FAST MISTER GORDON!

"Oh no! There are two of them! There's only one way we can defeat these guys!"

Through perfect synchronization!

DUAL BURNINATION!

Minezumi have some massive teeth.

I begin to wonder where does Cheren get all these berries.

We won!

"Is there anyone else we can talk to about this?"

"No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"

They proceed to do some dramatic threatening and run off. Cheren shrugs and goes off to return the PokeMon and take all the damn credit. Bishies.

It's funny because there were PokeMon thieves in this cave.

What a clever location the likes of which was never used before!

THE SAND IS ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MOLEHILLS~

Meet the newest addition to Team Jaden, Drill Sergeant Talpida Avogadro. BUT YOU WILL ADDRESS HER AS SARGE, MAGGOTS!

What happens next? Tune in for the next exciting and hopefully not as forced installation of Let's Play PokeMon Black!

 

[Satoren]

Oh hey, Moguryu early in the game. That's pretty neat =D

Also was that Musharna you battled the special Dream World Musharna? What takes place in the Dream Slums is indeed trippy. A fun read as always xD

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Mogurew happen in all caves in the game ^^ You have to be quite patient with this particular cave though, as it seems that these sand patches only rarely appear in it - and on occasion they contain items. XD And then there's the matter of getting to them without stumbling on a random encounter - but I guess that's what repels are for. ^^

And nah, you can only run into THAT Musharna on Fridays in a basement you only get access to post-E4. They're rare, but you can occasionally run into a wild Musharna in the grass. Although in Munna's case it's probably better to raise one from the first form up, seeing as it's a stone evolution an it learns no new moves if raised as a 'Sharna.

Typical for this pokemon to evolve by stone. >>;

 

[Louie Forest]

God this is so funny! I like the thought that you think Kon is emo. (Not former Tunduli.) PLEASE make another chapter!

 

[Secad MS]

Oh gosh, the PETevangelists, the new mole Pokemon, nutty Belle...hilarious.

As for the hallucinogen, I think Belle uses it quite often. I can imagine her huffing a Munna.

 

[FutachiFlame]

Omg this is so funny! Gosh, I'm glad you chose Mijumaru! He's awesome. I love all the big hat jokes! Keep these coming ;D