Let's Play! Pokemon White [IMAGE HEAVY] [SPOILERS]

[SineCosineTangent]

So, got my hands on a partially translated Pokemon White version thanks to my love~ And I'ma share the spoils with you. Before anyone says anything, this was already OK'd by the Powers That Be. Note that most of it is still in Japanese- all of the storyline and whatnot, so unless you're fluent, the storyline will be pretty lost on you. It definitely was on me. Now, without further ado:

Welcome to [Let's play!] Pokemon White!

So, here's the full opening screen. Nice 3-D shot of Zekrom, the usual. Moving on.

Thanks It's cool how we finally get a female professor.

Okay, Professor Oak :

And here we get to see our first Gen V Pokemon, provided that you haven't already seen every one of them in the leaks that occurred on the interwebs.

Blah blah blah, the usual Oak-like speech. We battle them, we collect them, we make them do our heavy lifting. We're just jerks.

So you can either be a boy who looks like a YuGiOh character, or a girl who has flipper shorts. I chose to be the girl with flipper shorts:

For the last time, YES, I am a girl. Can't you see my pretty hair~?

...This world is confusing. His hair is prettier than mine

Moving on.

Is it so you can stalk me?

It is, isn't it? Why must everyone stalk me and my pretty hair?

You may not know who this is. She's my Forerunner OC, from the Halo universe continuum. Suffice to say that she's incredibly srsface all the time.
Also, for all of you wondering what's with the caps:

For instance:

Because I don't know my friends at all~

Exactly.

Heeheeheeee. Cheren is supposed to be a boy, but the translators accidentally stuck "She" as the pronoun for this opening.

Your new name is Girlman

...The translated name is supposed to be "Belle". For intensive purposes, she will be known as "Barry in Drag"

"Son, I am dissappoint."

[Doodle is totally coming, I swear].

Yes, Captain Obvious, I can count >____>

I'm very observant

Whoop-de-do~

So inspirational. Never give up on your dreams! Never surrender!!

Quite artistic of this game. So simplistic. So huh, this game hasn't abused the whole "3-D" thing ye-

Wait, nevermind.

IN THREE-DEEEEE!!!!

So you start off in your room, when Girlman comes in.

What are you doing in my swanky, swanky room?

Oh, I see, staring at this random wrapped box- is it a bomb?

More people in my swanky, swanky room.

We all agree: It is a bomb.

Aaaand they're making me open it. Jerks.

I can't read Japanese, so I'm going to assume it says "This is a bomb"

Just kidding! It's free Pokemon offered by a stranger who just before didn't know if I was a girl or a boy. Let's take one, shall we?

Decided to go with the otter, because why not.

You can't want a battle... Not in here, we're inside my swanky, swanky room.

OH GOD YOU DO.

Versus Barry in Drag.

After one tackle from each. This otter has no attack XD Doesn't matter, though, because for the rest of the battle she uses Tail Whip.

Yeah, Bellarry (See what I did there? I combined names.). What now?

NOOO!!! MY SWANKY, SWANKY ROOM!

Also, how did prints get on the damn walls?! Were we having some Matrix Pokemon battle where the only way to tackle was to run and jump off the walls into your opponent?

Don't try and be all nice, you jerk. My swanky, swanky room is ruined.

So, she just now realized that she ruined my (swanky, swanky) room.

That better mean "Sorry, I didn't mean to wreck your swanky, swanky room and how are there prints on the damn walls?"

Don't heal her, she wrecked my swanky, swanky room!

Oh, well, why thank you! But why are you healing-

Oh you little jerks. I have terrible friends

Versus Girlman.

After one tackle. We both have very little attack XD

All this Tsutarja has been doing is leering incessantly. I have been tackling. Note which strategy works better.
[Not shown: I obviously won. I just forgot to get a shot XD]

And now that he has lost, he just kind of walks out of my room.

GET BACK HERE. You have to help clean this up you jerks!

Dios mio! My TV!

They killed Kenn-TV! Those bastards!

Oh well, might as well go downstairs.

Great, now they're telling my mom that it was my fault. Don't believe them, they're idiots

SEE? They are

STOP LOOKING AT ME it was all your idea

And then they just leave. Bitches still didn't clean my swanky, swanky room.

Don't believe them it wasn't my ideaaa

"You have terrible friends." I know

Fancy wrist gadget get!

RAIBUKYASUTAAAAA!!!!! After I get this, it's time to walk out into the wide, wide world.

Isn't it pretty? Those Mamepato fly away as you open the door. It's a nice effect ♥

They really did up the ante on the graphics~

Now then. Time to barge into someone's house.

Oh god awkward. She's getting yelled at by her oppressive father.

Yeah... erm. Sorry?

She walks out. Notice how the mom is trapped up in the kitchen. This father is a jerk

So I got the hell out of there.

Great, now you're going to wreck Araragi's lab like you wrecked my (swanky, swanky) room? I hate you guys.

I only came in here to stop them from being idiots.

Yeah, I can't read Japanese, so I have no idea what this says.

I still can't read Japanese.

NOW THEN.

So, it's asking me about a nickname for Mijumaru.

10 Glory points to Stel ♥

NOTE: This was originally put up on another forum that I am on, but the members there didn't really get the idea of an LP. I made two posts there before learning that I was given permission to post this here. I didn't want to put both posts in one opening post- there's over 200 images total

 

[baratron]

Very amused by all the smilies . I actually like the half-translation of the main menu - I'd like the Japanese text to be retained even in the official release. Of course, it won't be to avoid confusing all the "little kids" who play Pokemon. Bah!

You have a Pokemon battle in your room? Huh. Unless you have the tiniest Pokemon ever who only know very neat attacks, this doesn't seem like a good idea. No wonder your room gets wrecked!

Also, maybe it's just me, but it looks kinda weird to have the second screen in the pictures when it's not doing anything. Especially with the BIG SWATHES OF PINK, which are somewhat eye-bleeding anyway, and doubly so in combination with PokeCharms' green! Though I suppose I can now consider myself amply warned of the EXCESSIVE PINKNESS to face me if I, as usual, choose a female character. Eeek.

More please .

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

He's gonna fly like a Wargle~

HL: This particular instance of the game was partially fan-translated hence the English menus and random bits of... translation. XD The pinkness gets replaced by the C-Gear once you get it. xD

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Time for another update. There won't be one for a week, since I'll be too busy with classes, so cherish this one. CHERISH IT. DO NOT QUESTION.

Now, where were we? Ah. Right.

More words. Damn moon language.

Ooh, a question~ If you answer no to this, the game gets zetta angry. It's probably something along the lines of "If I give you this Pokemon, you won't throw it into needlessly dangerous situations and/or get it beaten up." If you hide that Pokemon League advertisement, you can sneak it past her

"Wonderful! I'm going to give you something, then"

"Can I eat it?"

"No, you can't eat it." "

"

"KIRIE!! Make sure she doesn't eat it"

Pokedex Get!

Aaand Araragi leaves the lab. I guess she's leaving the whole "Bellarry eating his/her Pokedex" thing up to survival of the fittest, cause I sure ain't watching her

"KIRIE!!!! Get out of my way I need to find a hammer to see if there are crackers inside this stupid thing the lady gave us!" There are no crackers. Ever. "

"

Why hello there, stalkermom. How's the stalking going?

Well, I assume from your moon language-y response that it's going great. Hey, did you ever get a chance to clean up my swanky, swanky room?

Town Map get!

No fair! They shouldn't get town maps. You should get them town -MOPS-, to clean up my (swanky, swanky) room that they messed up

Stalkermom leaves, then Bellarry and Girlman trot off as well.

Finally, I can hear myself think I'm going to walk innocently towards the town exi-

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU.

Crapcrapcrap they noticed me oh god leave me alooooone

They drew me closer with invisible Gravemind tentacles ;___;

Where are you taking meeee

I don't taste like crackers I'm sorry the Pokedex isn't crackers please don't eat me

Oh. Ooooh. It's just Araragi. Let me guess, she needs to teach us how to beat up weaker creatures and then capture them for our own perhaps evil purposes.

Yyyyyyup. No one needs to see this. I want one minute of my life back, kthx.

Wooooo.

Are we done here?

Ooh, free Pokeballs. Wasted time is now worth it

Waitwaitwaiiiiit where are you going? Don't leave me with them, that's when they start talking

What did I tell you? My ears are bleeding. Enough!

Well, that was effective. I better remember that

Fought some wild Pokemon, leveled my otter, the usual~

Remember kids: Talk to strangers, get free items!

10 more Glory points to Stel~

OH GOD not you two again. Don't you have a swanky, swanky room to clean?

Agh so many words, so little cleaning being done >__>

OHGODWHATISTHISSOUND ALIENS AND MONSTERS ARE ATTACKING MY PLACE- I mean oh, my communicator is ringing~ That's what I meant~

This is actually pretty cool, mouths move when people are talking and whatnot. My mouth is always open like I'm a Slowpoke.

The weirdo brigade walks off, and I am left by myself once more. Ooh, a city! I should go there.

Aww, it's a little town~ How quaint.

...I just talked to you on the face-phone! This can only mean one thing... You're stalking me too!

A long, boring description of how to use the Pokecenter and Pokemart follows.

Then she just leaves, probably to stalk Cheren wherever he may be. It's the stalkers stalking the stalkers. YoDog heard you like stalkers, etc.

CAPITALISM! :3

Ooooh I love eavesdropping!

Niiiice, a mob. What are we burning/chasing/being angry at, guys?

OH GODS wait is that a firing squad? NOOOO!

Learn from my mistake. Innocently overhearing a conversation leads to finding a mob leads to dying by a firing squad dressed like medieval knights. Truefax.

Yes KIRIE, you are going to be shot by knights.

Wait, nevermind, all that these guys are gonna do is lecture at me. And dress weird.

Everyone in this universe just looooves to hear themselves talk.

Wh..wha? Sorry, I fell asleep for a bit ??? What did I miss?

And then the freak brigade runs off, to go and be freaks elsewhere.

But of course, another freak has to come up to me, because I can never be safe from a weirdo attack. Nice name, Mr. ? ??. Oooo so mysterious.

"I AM N. MY PARENTAL FIGURES CAN'T NAME TO SAVE THEIR LIVES AND MY HAIR IS PRETTIER THAN YOURS. FEAAAAR."

"KIRIE! Fight me! WE SHALL DETERMINE WHOSE HAIR IS BETTER WITH A FIGHT!!!"

"Look how pretty I am I'm sooo beating you~"

What now, N? WHOSE HAIR IS PRETTIER NOW? "

"

"Fine *humph* But I'll be back with even prettier hair D:"

YEAH YOU BETTER RUN.

Then Girlman follows him. What's going on theeeere

I'm leaving this town of weirdos and hair aficionados

That ticker actually ticks :3

OH GOD THE ALIENS ARE BACK AND THE MONSTERS ARE EATING THE PANTS- oh, right. Communicator.

Hiiii mom *dopey face*

KJLKJLKJD STALKERMOM. Don't come up behind me, it's creepy

Running shoes get!

Yeah, go stalk someone else stalkermom.

I'm not doing a Link pose at all. DO NOT QUESTION.

Yay for mean cats that look like bats.

Hi there well aren't you friendl-

What is it with people here and randomly attacking meee?

RAAAAWWRRR. My hair beat -N-. Do you really think that your pathetic hair stands any chance against mine?

And then a trainer in a hat decides to test his luck. Lots of people here wear hats. It's because THEY SEE MY HAIR AND ARE ASHAMED.

THAT'S RIGHT BE ASHAMED IN YOUR BASEBALL CAP.

Damnit, the Pokedex will never be made of crackers STOP ASKING.

...Battling me will not make your Dex edible.

Well that was shortlived.

Oh -this- will be a challenge :

Abusing healing items already. Oh joy >>

Yeah Barry, my hair even beats your -wig-. I'm going into the city. Follow me, and my hair will eat you.

A nice, generic city. The usual~

Buildings, buildings, people.

Ooh, a sketchy old man in a backalley! Let's go talk to him.

Yay! He gave us a free item :3

So then I went here.

Oh. Another one of you. You can never hope to defeat me.

What did I tell you? MY HAIR REIGNS SUPREME.

Hi Shamey. How's that baseball-cap Shame going?

And he goes off to a corner to be ashamed.

Let's play "Talk to strangers!"

I'm going to assume that you're asking me if I want candy from your van. I'll say yes, because I like candy ^__^

Oh. A monkey? Darn. That's not candy

Okay guys, what do I name this?

 

[Blazi]

NAME THY MONKEY SQUALL. THE EVOLUTION HAS JACKET FLUFF. DO NOT QUESTION ME.

Just in case you didn't get my PM . But anyway, I like almost any lets play I come across and this is no exception. Keep up the good work!

 

[Brendan Savem]

This is downright amusing SCT. The fact that you have no idea what they are actually saying prompts you to make scenarios. The "friends" making a big mess of your (swanky swanky) room and refusing to clean it up one was comedy gold! Now as for your nickname cliff hanger...

Name it Pyrokey

Please?

 

[Secad MS]

*snorts*

I do like your swanky, swanky room. I shall now do a swanky, swanky dance...*gets shot*

I'm a really bad dancer. XD

Gosh, your translations are hilarious.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Guys. Guys. For all name suggestions. In case you haven't noticed, she has a five character limit. <<;

 

[Satoren]

Leon >=D

Because clearly he cannot live with being Squall after those Shanderaa ripped the hearts out of his BFFs Yanappu and Hiyappu and doomed his world to Darkness.

I love that mom has official artwork, that's fairly neat to me for some reason xD It also makes sense that puppies and kitties are the first Pokemon one comes across in an urban setting.

 

[Doubled]

Leon >=D

Because clearly he cannot live with being Squall after those Shanderaa ripped the hearts out of his BFFs Yanappu and Hiyappu and doomed his world to Darkness.

I love that mom has official artwork, that's fairly neat to me for some reason xD It also makes sense that puppies and kitties are the first Pokemon one comes across in an urban setting.

Yes. Name him Leon. Then give him a Gun Blade

Ahem... Anyway, yeah, I do also have to admit that you can see more of a resemblance between the Mom and child (boy or girl). It's very neat to say the least.

Also, lovely translations. Nintendo could learn a thing or two from you XD

 

[Sir Red]

Very entertaining and funny. Quite enjoying this and I'll happily follow you through your journey. :3

And I adore the mother's artwork for some reason. (I also love the smilies your using :3) I can't wait for your next update, SCT.

Also, I'm for Leon as well.

 

[baratron]

TOO PINK! IT BURNS!

Seriously, let me know how far into the game (in terms of number of hours) the hideous pinkness protests for. I mean, I *like* hot pink, but this is too much - a nasty shade of red mixed with the pink. Owowow.

I am wondering WTF is up with people phoning you when they're standing on the next screen. That's... rather odd. Unless they're doing the video game equivalent of "Where are you? I'm by the steps. No, the ones on the LEFT of the ticket barrier."

Re. your question. The monkey's Pokemon species name is BAOPPU, and it's somewhat useless? Easy. Call it Bippa! (Japanese name for Bidoof) ;D. Nothing like the confusion that arises from having a Pokemon named after a different species .

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

No worries, HL: The horrid pinkness stops pretty soon. Shortly after Gym 1 and a brief quest involving the Site of Dreams, you get the C-Gear and the pink is gone forever. XD

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Heeeello everybody~ It's time for the next episode of Let's Play~! Aren't you all so excited?~

::LAST TIME, ON LET'S PLAY POKEMON WHITE::

Stuff happened

Honestly, I'm too lazy to come up with a summary.

::NOW FOR TODAY'S EPISODE. DO NOT QUESTION::

10 Glory points to RX~
Then the lady talked some more and I ignored it

Ohgod a cone whatdoIdowhatdoIdo

I'M SO AFRAID OF IT I CAN'T KICK IT OVER.

This is my best friend "Tree Shrub That Is As Tall As Me". I call him "TSTIATAM". He's a quiet fellow, but a stand up ol' chap.

So I stepped out of the Dreamy place, and now it's Summer. I guess the seasons here like to sneak up on you, like every other damn character in this game

So to get back at it, I went and found some items.

TAKE THAT, YOU SNEAKY BASTARD.

And this is me with TSTIATAM's other best friend "Tree Shrub That Is Hiding Among Taller Trees". His nickname is "TSTIHATT". I just call him Hat.

I was on a mission to not hang out in the town, so I went to go bother a runner. She probably asked me about sneakers. While bothering her, I noticed an exit. FREEDOM!

Or not. KIRIE is about to be halted by an old man.

"BITCH YOU BETTER NOT BE TRYING TO GO THROUGH HERE NUH UHHHH YOU DID NOT JUST TRY TO GO HERE. THIS IS -MAH- ARCH."

Ooookay then.

Then he pushed me with the threat of "pulling the weave right off mah head".

Psh. My hair is too beautiful and fabulous to be pulled off of my head. Silly old man.

With no way out, I meandered back into the city, where I decided to go get some learning done.

Or something like that.

Then I found this kid who was twitching and mumbling complex formulas to himself. I decided to talk to him anyway

"IF I SAW TEN MAMEPATO, AND A TRAINER CAUGHT ONE, HOW FAR WILL A SNEAKER FLY IN THE WESTERLY WINDS?" I picked the right answer, and he was pleased.

"OKAY FINE BIGSHOT. HOW MANY KUMQUATS CAN A BANANA CARRY IF THE BANANA IS COVERED IN PURPLE SPOTS?" Hazarded a guess on that one

Free item!

Ooh, it's Cheren. I'm going to stalk him like he stalks me.

...
...
*ominously stands behind him a while longer*

"KIRIE don't do that it scares me" SEE HOW I FEEL?

"WE MUST KUNG FU FIGHT" ...Whatever

Versus Girlman II~

Wait, this isn't kung fu fighting at all! You lied

Sooo I sent out Leon in his first battle ever. They grow up so fast~

Awww~ He set it on fire

Time for Seal to come out and finish the job~

This did not last long.

"How could you have beaten me? I got a cat with makeup from N and also tips on my hair. One day, I hope it to be as pretty as his~"

Bitch please. Your hair will never be as pretty as -mine-

Then I hi-tailed it out of there and visited this guy.

Look how green his hair is. It's very green indeed.

Hey there! How are-

Nope, nevermind, you're just going to keep talking. Don't you people ever think of anyone else in your conversations? Or do you just blabber on for hours?

Silly green haired man, that's the wrong type! Why, it's almost like you're going to try to pull a type advantage on me!

I wanna go in too!

Ah! Stop noticing meeeee

I mean, I know my hair is pretty but YOU CAN'T HAVE IT.

Ooh, free water. Well, this is a restaurant, and I -am- hungry. I think I'm going to go get myself seated~

...I can't sit in these chairs. What a ripoff. Maybe there's better seating further on.

Ooh, automatic curtains linked to buttons~ How fancy :3

Oh good, a waiter. Can you tell me where I can sit? I'm really hungry and-

Oh, you're going to take my order? Well first, I want a soda, and then for an appetizer-

...This is terrible service. You're never going to get tips this way.

And a turn later, it fainted.

These waiters are rich.

Can't sit in these chairs, either

I'm getting irked with the service at this place. I'm going to give it only three stars on my online reviewing.

Time to open the next curtain~ Maybe I can only sit in the VIP section because of my gorgeous hair~

Oh! Yes, is this the VIP Area? I'd like to order my food now.

Yeah, I'll have the filet mignon, with mashed potatoes, and a-

...Oh. Seriously, all I want is some damn service!

Before this, there was an incredibly shortlived Minezumi.

Can I please have my steak now? All I want is my steak

...My god, I sound like Belle with her crackers

I wish there was a dinner show instead of just more tables I can't sit at

AGH! I thought for -sure- I could sit in the VIP section. Damn unsittable chairs!

Oh good, a manager. Hey! Heeeyy! I'm a paying customer and I demand that these chairs allow me to sit in them! They're plotting against me! Also, none of your waitstaff actually serves anything. They just fight. Badly. In fact, you can say that they...

Got Served.

Yeah, I'd like to file a complain-

Can you -please- stop reproducing by binary fission?

"I don't care about your complaints just LOOK HOW DAINTY I AM" ...

"In fact..."

"I would like to fight you..."

"IN MY PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS DRESS~"

........

Anyway, FIRST GYM BATTLE ALERT!!!

So first up, we get a puppy that is rather easily punted out.

Like so.

MONKEY VERSUS MONKEY! The stunning conclusion!

I accidentally attacked with Lick, and it paralyzed it

And then it unceremoniously died in a fire

Also,

"Buh...buhbuhbuh.... I PUT ON MY PRINCESS DRESS AND EVERYTHING

"

"...Fine. Meanie

"

EXTREME BADGE PUT AWAY GOGO!!!

"...Also take this TM that did absolutely nothing to help me win, considering the fact that I lost." Yeah, thanks.

I'm leaving this foodless restaurant with the scheming chairs and the silly waitstaff that doesn't wait and-

OH GOD. Did I gain more stalkers? WHO TOLD YOU WHERE I AM.

I don't even know who you are stop talking to meeeee.

OH NO SHE'S DRAGGING ME INTO A BUILDING. Who knows what she wants with me

I don't want to go upstairssss

No means no! No means NO!

Oh. OOOOH. So this is how you think it goes? You think you can just -BUY- me? KIRIE don't go that way, oh no she don't!

Oh no you di'int!

God, what kind of operation is this woman -running-?

Here, uselesscat, learn Cut

I am so sorry, TSTIATAM. Please forgive me. You were such a good tree shrub in life.

Oh damn. She must have tried to go to the restaurant, too. If they told you I took all of their food, they're dirty, dirty liars.

"Hay KIRIE how are you I tried to go to the place with food but they had no crackers only water and battles and all I wanted were~" SHUT UP.

She walks in. I love how all you can see of her is her hat. Her giant, giant hat. I bet she's so proud of it, like she waves it around being all "LOOK HOW FANCY MY HAT IS."

...Moving on.

I tried to run away, but then figured that it was pointless. I'd have to deal with Belle at some point.

TSTIATAM! You grew back! Oh, I knew you had fight in ya!

Errrr sorry again, TSTIATAM.

We hear something, Belle decides to try and use me as a meat shield.

I'm not a meat shield, I'm a meat -Popsicle-.

Oh look, a pink ball of floaty creepiness! Let's get closer to it

Oh joy, the freaks are back

Go be freaks elsewhere.

I assume her argument to the freaks was something along the lines of "BUT SPARKLES AND RAINBOWS :<" I also assume that they did not quite understand her logic.

Then the jerk on the left got a running start and kicked the poor pink floaty thing. Not cool.

YOU WANNA KICK SOMETHING, BUB? Heh. BRING IT ON

WE MUST KUNG FU FI- I'm not falling for this one again.

Now it's time to battle some Knights

This will not last long.

"Drat! Foiled again!"

And then the other one battles me, because the other one DOES NOT REALIZE THE FABULOUSNESS OF MY HAIR.

Look how she hides her hair in shame. THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE JUST LIKE SHAMEY THE BASEBALL CAP SHAME MAN!!!

"Foil! Dratted again!"

"Well, your fabulous hair can't stop me from kicking a defenseless creature!"

"But I can"

"And so can I!"

"And I helped

"

"Oh man Scoob, this is some trippy crap!"

"Rai Row, Raggy!"

"Zoinks! Let's get out of here!"

Oh... Oh man. I think KIRIE is tripping.

DUDE. It's talking... Look at my haaands. It's talking!

"Uh.. so... I ate these mushrooms on the way here. Was that... was that a good id- THEY'RE TALKING" Five minutes late again, I see

"Oh... oh man... DO YOU SEE MY HANDS?"

THE VOICES. OH GOD THE VOICES-

Oh. It's you. The lady who tried to buy me with an HM

"They're taaaalking. Heh heh. Tallllking."

"Oh man, lady, we ate these mushrooms that we found on the ground, and and and then there was like... three of this one guy... and then these things started tallllllking! That's a funny word. Hehhhh."

...They always eat the damn mushrooms.

!!!!!

"*bouncebouncebounce* OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG" Okay lady, callllm down.

"It's smoke! From dreams! Dream smoke!" ...Suuuuure, lady.

What are you pedaling? Crack? Smack? Bootleg cheerios? Not in my town!

Item montage!

Also,

They look just like Pig Noise from The World Ends With You. 10 Glory points to Stel~

...I'm just going to leave Belle to space out for a bit. She's wordlessly staring at her shoes right now

And so, back into the city I go.

To face the demons of my past.

YOU! You tried to bribe me into UNSIGHTLY DEEDS.

Stop buying me expensive gifts I don't want to be with you

...Something with a warning label this big just has to be fun!

Oooooh~

Yeah, yeah, sure...

YOU CAN'T HAVE IT SHE GAVE IT TO ME IT'S MINE.

"It's dangerous to go alone, take this!"

Pal Pad get!

With my new fancy wrist gadget and a pocket full of dreams, I decide to head out to my next adventure.

The old man has decided to let me through.

Ooh, look~ It's the Pokemon daycare!

And a human daycare!

Shouldn't you be watching the kids?

Oh hi there little boy! How are you? Playing with lego-

A battle? You're like, three.

And then I defeated him.
You heard it here first.
KIRIE BEATS UP LITTLE CHILDREN

IT'S TIME TO BEAT UP MORE KIDS

Appending to my last statement, SHE ALSO STEALS WHAT LITTLE MONEY THEY HAVE.

OHGOD SEAL EXPLODED

...And then... came back together?

Evolutionnn~

SHELL BLADE can has ♥

This lady healed me. Very nice of her!~

Oh look, more children! YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, KIRIE.

BEAT THEM UP

Time for new Seal's premier battle~

Shell blade = one hit kitty KO~

So after KIRIE beat the kids up, took their lunch money, and left them for dead let them go home, she walked on.

KASDLKASJDKAS STALKERGIRLMAN. Don't come up behind me, you're like my mother

"KIRIE! WE MUST KARATE FIGHT!

"

...I think that Girlman does not know the difference between martial arts and Pokemon battling

I fainted his snake with my otter

Type weaknesses be damned!

This battle was so one-sided, it wasn't even worth properly documenting.

"...Even with my new shampoo, you still defeat me. I am shamed" Then go wear a baseball cap

Some Plasma guys ran through here.

Oh god now Belle's kidnapped a kid in her pursuit of crackers. THE KID DOESN'T HAVE ANY, LET HER GO.

"You've got to go after those guys! They stole my mushrooms!" Uh, Belle, you probably shouldn't eat those anymore. You were staring at your feet for five hours.

"Can I go back home nowww

"

"No! Now help me find some watermelon!"

"KIRIE, if we don't put our fabulously-haired heads together, Belle's gonna eat the damn kid."

Our fabulous hair?

Bitch please.

Damn you, small ledges! My greatest enemy... My greatest weakness!

"KIRIE, will you join me in heading into this dark spooky cave?" Fine, but I know it's only because you're scared that cave cobwebs will get in your hair

Oh yay, more freaks. Just what I needed

Didn't you learn your lesson when I whooped your friends over in the Dreamy Mushroom place?

I guess not~

...I honestly don't know who is talking to me. I like to think it's the Plasma grunts. "Oh no KIRIE your hair trumps us forever and ever

"

"HEY WHAT'S GOING ON HERE WE'RE SCREAMING SO LOUD EVEN OUR WORD BUBBLE IS SPIKY!!"

"...WE MUST JOIN HAIR!" Uh, not with you. Your hair will look even -more- terrible with mine.

Double Freak Battle!

This lasted very, very shortly.

"Ahhh we are vanquished oh noooo"

And then they disappeared

Due to his terrible performance in the double hair battle, he walks out of the cavern with great shame.

Oh no, Belle taught the kid how to Exclamation Point.

Free items~

Oh god please don't parade around me. Stop marching in circles around me I AM NOT YOUR SAVIOR

And then Belle drags the kid off to go get cookies or something. I really wonder how he/she keeps her figure.

AND THEN IT WAS NIGHT.

So. Name that pigeon!

 

[Tangrow]

Golly, I do enjoy this thing so much ♥ Anyway, I suggest you name that Mamepato...

SNOOD.

It's the thing turkey's have over their beaks, like that thing |D I repeat.

SNOOD.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

Seconded!

 

[Blazi]

SNOOD. All caps. Do it nowwwwwww! Also glad to see I was close to naming that flaming monkey.

 

[Ruko]

I'll throw a vote for SNOOD as well

 

[Kerauno]

I laugh at your antics. KIRIE'S hair is too pretty for Cheren and N~~ As for the pigeon...

I seem to be hopping on the bandwagon with SNOOD. Please, do it for the children... Before Belle eats them...

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Well then, everyone, it is time for another post of:

Let's Play! Pokemon White!

Sorry for the wait, but this update is so gigantic (over 400 images, in fact, not including drawings), you'll forget all about the time it took to finally upload XD;

AS IT HAS BEEN DECREED~

10 Glory points to Tan~

Now that I have taken care of the freaks-in-fiefs, it is time to resume my adven- wasn't it just night?

This world confuses me sometimes.

"Hi! I'm a trainer with less than or equal to three Pokemon. All of them will fall easily to your mighty hair"

Creepy how I can predict the future, right?

Bored of beating children (for now), KIRIE heads back to the Fiefy Freaks cave to wrangle up some items~

And to catch a Pokemon that will forever be relegated to the boxes.

Ooh, another trainer envious of and frightened by my awesome presence!

Not envious and frightened enough, apparently. YOU DARE BATTLE ME?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. YOU BETTER RUN.

You know, this is MY grass. You can't stand here without an offering to my hair.

This will do. FOR NOW.

Oh god YOU again. Are those... are those leaves in your hair? Are you that shamed?

"KIRIE. LOOK AT MY NEW HAIRSTYLE ISN'T IT BEAUTIFULLY ELEGANT? It's green, like N's

"
"...

THOSE. ARE. LEAVES."

"Well I never! I spent so long looking for these perfectly colored leaves and do you have any idea how long it takes to arrange these and do you know how hard it is to decide whether or not you want these pretty looking probably poisonous flowers? DO YOU?

I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE."

Sheesh. Get a baseball cap like everyone else

This child is being awfully nice... You know what that means, KIRIE?

WE TEACH HER A LESSON.

A painful lesson

...The following battle was so one-sided that I didn't even capture the victory screen.

WHAT IS THAT THING IN THE WATER this is scarier than the traffic cone

Do children just flock to me to be beaten? I shall change my name.
I PRESENT:
KIRIE THE BEATER OF CHILDREN

Her first official act in her new title

Oooooooh~ I love how the ticker ticks ♥

I answered this lady's questions, and she never gave me anything. How stingy

Oh, hey there. I see you lost the leaves. Good choice.

"I'm ignoring you I'm ignoring you look how I'm not even talking to you"

"BUT I WILL NOT LET YOU INSULT THE LEAVES THEY WERE BRILLIANT I just had no way of attaching them so they all fell off when I fabulously stormed off before

"

"Fine have this because my programming code forces me to give this to you but in reality I hate you

"

And then he storms off, probably to look for more leaves

A fence... running over the train tracks. Whoever engineered this track either really hated fences, or really hated trains, or just didn't care anymore.
"Sir, we can't put a fence there, the train will hit it and explode!

"
"

"

I really like the little people playing instruments that you find around cities. I love what they've done with the music~

This guy wanted a trade, but I didn't have a Churine

I bet he was heartbroken to miss out on a trade with such wonderful hair.

Now this lady knows how to ask questions! You can only ask questions if you plan to give me something in return for wasting my swanky, swanky time

THEY MUST KUNG FU FIGHT!

A shop? That sells X? NOT IN MY TOWN.

...So, long story short, KIRIE kicked her illegal operation out of this universe with the force of a thousand angry Sangheili.

Ooh, a restaurant! Maybe they will serve me, unlike that stupid fake Gym restaurant

...Why are all the chairs against me?

!

Oh, it's you. Hello Not-As-Fabulous-As-My-Hair man! How are you? Still wearing a baseball cap of shame, I see.

"WE MUST KUNG HAIR FIGHT!" Sure thing, buddy

"Okay, gotta get my sparkleawesome pose just right... c'mon N, you practiced this in the mirror a thousand times..."

"FIRST OUT! My faaaabulous pigeon~" SHELL BLADE'D "Oh... well.

OH GODS he has the Trollkemon.

Trollkemon fainted~

Oh, hi there VEINY. That's your name. From now on, you're VEINY.

YOUR BULGING VEINS ARE NO MATCH FOR MY BLADE.

"That... that can't be. I USED MY NEW EXTRA VOLUME SHAMPOO."

"...I guess I should have used my EXTRA VOLUME CONDITIONER like the box suggested. OH WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN TO THAT BOX?"

"I'll be back, and mark my words... Your hair will fall! It will fall flat! It will look like you burned it with a straightener!"

You keep telling yourself that, bub.

"Look at this collosal Anorith!"
Erm... That's not an Anorith

Where are you taking me let go of meeee

I don't want to look at rocks

Then he finally dragged me up here, and let me be.

STOP NOTICING MEEEE

Free water :3

Beating children: Even done in libraries.

lolwut?

Reading: It's an adventureee~

"DO I TAKE LIFE, OR GIVE IT? WHO IS VICTIM, AND WHO IS FOE?"
Erm... Why is this text in red? Why does it have a creepy gravelly voice?

The voice went away, and the book shut.

-INCOMING SIGNAL-

"I AM [] TIMELESS CHORUS. JOIN [] VOICE WITH MINE AND SING VICTORY EVERLASTING."

Oh... oh GOD what IS THIS?

I guess I answered her question wrong D:

I may not be smart

, but at least I'm strong!

[SIGNAL LOST IN TRANSIT]
Oh. Good. I don't want to see the creepy Christmas lumpy brigade again.

Oh look, another child. Let's go, KIRIE, THE BEATER OF CHILDREN!

And so it is done.

...

It was at this point that I figured I should level up a bit before facing Afrolady. I did fine against her midform doggie thing, but then got owned. So I reset the game and decided to go a trainin'.

Ooh~ Thanks much, random stranger :3

I bet you're jealous of my hair >:3

Hey, hey, a battle is uncalled for

The nice thing about her is that she'll heal your Pokemon whenever you talk to her :3

Well hello there! Are you a child? Because my title deals with children.

SUMMON! KIRIE! THE BEATER OF CHILDREN!

RAWWWRRR!!!

"Hey you can't beat up my friend without beating me up too!" Whatever you say, kid

Aaaand I beat him terribly and didn't get a screenshot because some kid started pestering me on MSN

Look everybody, it's SHAMEYYY. How's the shame going? Full of shame? Shame and baseball caps?

TROLLKEMON ALERT

Trollkemon Fainted!

ANOTHER TROLLKEMON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHERTROLLIN' TROLLKEMON IN THIS MOTHERTROLLIN' BATTLE.

And then I owned him because really. THREE Trollkemon?

Went back to the nurse lady and healed after that~

TROLLVERLOAD!

Self-explanatory.

Then Shamey came back, full of shame and baseball caps.

WE MUST KUNG FU FIGHT.

"I cannot defeat your mighty hair fu!"

WE MUST KUNG FU FIGHT AGAIN.

"I'll get you back, evil boss!

"

Figured I should get a fighting type for the Normal gym, and I hate Veiny.

And Fiefy Freaks are having a freakoff in the forest. Joy.

GYM BATTLE NUMBER TWO!!!

Versus Afrolady!

Your potion was for naught!

Well that was short lived~

Your mighty afro is no match for my luscious locks~

LOOK UPON THE THREE DEE AND WEEP.

Whoop-de-doo, free TM~

"KIRIE! WE MUST KUNG-" NO.

So I rifled through her stuff for a while after she ran off. Found no items. Drat.

Oh joy, it's the Fiefy Freaks again

What just happened? Did Truth fire the rings?

Aaaand The Fiefy Freaks have absconded with the Not-An-Anorith head.

Oh my! Skeletons are supposed to have heads. This has no head!

There were like... all of these other random NPCs around when the Fiefy Freaks were here. Why didn't they try to help stop them? USELESS. ALL OF YOU.

Ooh, the mysterious ?? ?. Are you affiliated with N and his hair products?

I AM NOT GOING TO KUNG FU FIGHT YOU No one here even seems to know what kung fu -is-.

Oh, it's Bellary. And he/she no longer has the child. This leaves us with one obvious answer: BELLARY EATS CHILDREN. Truefax.

"Do you know what tastes just like crackers, and there's plenty of them on that last rout-" I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

"I'll overlook the leaf incident before. You're lucky, KIRIE."

Whatever, bub.

What an excellent Red impression! Do you stand on mountains with ridiculous level teams as well?

"KIRIE! You must do our work for us because your hair defeats us all" I know, right?

"You're the great KIRIE? I have heard many tales about your swanky, swanky hair that totally doesn't need a baseball cap but you wear one to make everyone else less ashamed!"

"Oh, here, I took this off of that kid I ate took home safely.

Fancy item get~!

Then they saunter off to the gym. Have fun with Afrolady while I do your work for you!

Oh, it's you again

I can get to the damn forest by myself. I'm not three. You can tell because Bellary didn't eat me.

Another victory for KIRIE, THE BEATER OF CHILDREN.

Because a trip through a beautiful forest is not complete without Fiefy Freaks.

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 1

Spoiler alert: Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 2

10 Glory points to Stel~ MAKE IT SO.

Children Beaten Count: 3

Children Beaten Count: 4

Carmen Sandiego~!

This forest is pretty~

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 3

"How dare you interrupt my flower frolicking!

"

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 4

Skull get~!

Oh great, another freak

Why must weirdos follow me wherever I go?

...Why are you guys looking at me?

YEAH IT'S KIRIE AND THE WEIRDO BRIGADE!

Bring it on, Fiefy Freaks!

"WE MUST KUNG FU DISAPPEAR"

"Where did they go?"

Then I had to hand back the Not-An-Anorith bone

...I got a rock

Then KIRIE frolicked in the flowers~

Goodbye, Forest of Freaks~ I'll miss you~

OH GOD I'M A GIANT NOW

It's Sky Arrow Bridge!

HOPE AND TRUCKS!

DON'T JUMP! This is a bridge of hope. Go jump somewhere else.

The perspective changes get really confusing

There's so many trucks on this bridge!

Passed some more jumpers, did not help them.

EVERYBODY LOOKS LIKE ANTS!

"Life.... it's so.... pointless." Wow, this is a really depressing bridge

HEAD FOR THE LIIIIGHT~

Aaand we're in Hiun City. It's pretty much a whole bunch of advertisements, buildings, and sketchy alleyways.

Free items from sketchy strangers~!

Bitch you get out of my way!

Breakdancers Defeated: 1

EVERYBODY IS RUNNING ON THIS STREET. They also run around you and say things. Probably mean things

Since this is a city, they're either discussing finance or drugs. Maybe both. What a dangerous place for kids

Luckily I was here to beat them all up.

Then I went to an art gallery. I like to think that all of the pictures are made from food items flung at the canvas~

STOP SAYING MEAN THINGS TO ME IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU RAN INTO ME. Big jerks

FOLLOW THE RANDOM OLD MAN!

After following him, I found many, many trainers to battle~

I beat him. Forgot to get a screen ><

He will defeat me with SCIENCE!

He will be defeated with SCIENCE!

~

Silly business man, why are you challenging me? Shouldn't you be discussing profit margins and laughing at the poor?

The final boss of this building? A Janitor.

Free item~

Now, to go into a dangerous, dark alley at night

"Hey you! You look like you like to look at dark, dark things!" Who said that?

My innocent, innocent eyes! I don't like this city anymore

"Don't tell nobody what you saw, got it fabhair?" Well, at least he complemented my hair

Are those... are those the feds?

CHEESE IT, IT'S THE FEDS!

What's going on here?

SORDID DEEDS

Where are the feds when you need them? Oh right, in the coffee bar.

So then I ran away because dark alleys are scary

And I went in this building, where I got free stuff~

And answered questions~

And became Red~!

The trouble only came when I tried to leave...

Apparently, they weren't done asking questions.

WE MUST KUNG FU ANSWER QUESTIONS.

Then I got away.

In the meantime, I owned some breakdancers and got a free item~

CHEESE IT! IT'S THE FEDS!

Alkajseldakjew what is this I've never seen it in the grass before alksjfdsf.

Oh great, it's Girlman. What did you put in your hair this time?

"I PUT VERY PRETTY THINGS IN MY HAIR. THINGS I FOUND AROUND THE CITY THAT WERE ON THE GROUND.

" So... Garbage, then?

"HUMPH! You just don't get fashion these days!"

"Did you see where that kid went? He put the badge in his hair rather than in his case, and I don't want him to lose it."

"ZOMG It's KIRIE! Sorry to bother you about that unfabulously haired child~ I must be off~"

SO HE WENT~!

And, since I couldn't go to the gym, I went explorin'~

Oh great you guys ABORTABORT!

"TOO LATE!" and then Iris hit quarterhair and teh dock slowly became vaporized.

...I think everyone is secretly N's cousin/sibling/hair product.

Oh god what do I -attract- Fiefy Freaks?

And then everyone ran off, but chances are they're going to need me for something anyway

What? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME. I'm only a small town girl, living in a lonely world

So I went down this alley to find more Fiefy Freaks, along with the Weirdo Brigade.

...Yes?

WRONG ANSWER.

NOW WE MUST FIGHT.
Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 5

MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAAAA! WRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

And then everyone followed the Steamroller guy.

IT IS DAY.

Oh joy, Talky Blabbermouth is here >__>

This guy walks so awkwardly while he's speaking. It's like he took high school Speech class, and this is his first speech. "Okay, make first point, step to the left. Then make next point, then step to the right. Then make last point, and be back in the center."

"You're a crappy public speaker! You move like a robot!" "Dios mio!"

"Terrible speaker, eh?"

TAKE THIS! Grunt! Throw a Munna at that big hat girl!"

...It's gone. SHE/HE ATE IT!!!

"It tastes like happy~"

"The hell?! How did she eat that thing?"

Then there was a whooole bunch of conversation in moon language, then I got a free item :3

Everybody left~ Finally, silence~

And so, we stop today's update riiight before the third gym. Sorry for the wait for this one, guys, but at least it was chock full of images~

 

[Satoren]

I must say, all these random people popping up for story exposition must get annoying. Also, that man giving you an evolutionary stone once you get to Hiun, is the stone relative to the monkey you got at the Dream Slums?

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Yup. He asks you which one you have, and then will give you a stone to match it. Technically, you could get any of the three stones. I, however, could not read any of the answers, and just happened to get lucky XD

 

[Secad MS]

Oh, KIRIE, beater of children...do you think you could take care of my nephews? XD

Your translations are hilarious. I think I may want to import a copy instead of waiting for the American release. I wonder how much it costs.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Aaand we're back for another (exciting?) installment of:

KIRIE, Beater of Children, Travels Isshu!

Last time, on K, BoC, TI!, our heroine was bravely standing before the Hiun Gym, ready to challenge whatever weirdo sat inside.

Ewww someone needs to clean this place up

Turns out, this gym isn't constrained to one weirdo. It's -full- of them

I really, really hate this move. That's why I took this screenshot. I defeated this guy without any problem after the next Protect failed.

Ooh, a button, I should press it KLAJSDLASDK IT'S A PERSON

I really hate clowns. I have a fear of them

Pretty purple staircase~ Sparkly ♥

GYM BATTLE NUMBER THREE!!!

Versus I-don't-know-what-gender-this-person-is

Wait, scratch that. Versus I'm-pretty-sure-it's-a-male-(I think)

"Fear my rolly-polly bug of purple~!" I will fear no such thing! I only fear traffic cones and odd spots in the water.

That thing actually gave me a -lot- of trouble.

I love this thing

It's an adorable hermit crab of doom ♥

"I KILL YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"

This guy -really- needs to coordinate his outfits better.

Shiny Badge THREE DEE show off time gogo!

Aaand a free TM that I promptly threw into the depths of my bag, never to see the light of day again.

So it goes.

Just to show y'all how those walls of foofy gel work.

ALIENS! AND MONSTERS! NEED TO GET MY NORMAL PEOPLE CLOSE. Oh right, communicator.

Oh wow, just who I wanted to have a conversation with. Bellarry, I am NOT providing you with more children.

In fact, I will not even provide your request for the flesh of younglings with a response. I shall smile like a Slowpoke to show my disapproval.

Then I got this thing

OH GODS I ENRAGED HER now she's going to eat me noooo

"Oooh what's this?"

"Oh! It's a person!" No shit, sherlock

Versus Bellarry, who was offended by KIRIE's failure to provide children.

Remind me why she even tries

"

Do you at least have a cookie?" No.

Then she huffed off, probably to try and wrangle chitlins.

It's a sandstorm! *Suddenly, techno music! Thousands of them!* *Punches Darude in the face* NONE OF THAT.

Who's that? In the distance... It looks like they have bottles strung to their head...

"KIRIE! My new bottle hairstyle DEMANDS RESPECT.

" No

"THEN WE MUST K-" Put a sock in it! Versus Girlman.

As the battle rages on, loud, obnoxious techno music plays in the background, injuring the participants of the battle, unless they can cover their ears in stone (like rock and ground types).

Oh, what are you going to do, grow at me? Nice try.

JKLjalkwjelkasdaaaa!! So then it fainted anyway.

"Gasp! How could my bottle do be defeated? SHOCK. AND. AMAZEMENT

"

RAVENHOLDM I SUDN'T COME HERE!! oh right.

MISSINGNO IS CALLING ME ♥ Also, the Professor looks drunk in this shot

Shu'up everyone!

I want to hear what Missingno has to say.

Then he walks off, probably looking for more things to put in his hair

Backpackers? In my America-clone region? It's more likely than you think.

LOOK HOW ADORABLE IT IS/was before I killed it

I would like to think this translates to "NANANANANANANANA BATMAAAAN!"

What's a miner doing in the desert?

Go be a miner elsewhere.

Free things are free.

I wanna sleep

I guess that the beds have joined the chairs in their protest of me sitting on them.

This vending machine is not oddly placed at all

There are a lot of trucks here!

Deserts really aren't good locations for resorts... Sand will get in my fancy umbrella drink.

This is what happens when Stel is away and I'm left to fend for myself on naming things.

It's a desert doctor :3

OMGOMGOMG IF THAT IS NOT THE CUTEST THING I'VE SEEN TODAY I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS

I want to give it squishy hugs ♥

Again, I killed it because I loved it ♥

Also, this guy is one of the healing NPCs :3

KILL IT WITH FIRE

Ooooookay then.

Oh, a harmless psychic, what are you going to send out, a Munn-

OH GOD. It's... it's staring into my SOUL

Free itemmm~

Then I fell in this hole

This was a disappointingly short and boring fall

And still... I LOVE THIS HOLE!

So I wandered around the desert some more, probably dehydrating to death.

But at least I got some items out of my suffering.

I love these things

I did not name this little fella~

Now I have my own mechanism for staring into peoples' souls >:3

After I got bored of dying of dehydration, I went back the way I came. From Route 4, I took the correct path to more plot exposition

"KIRIE! Why do you let this poor girl put things in her hair?!" Uh, Prof? That's... that's a guy. "Really?

"

"Erm... take this and forget I said anything."

"Toodles! I can't believe that's a boy!"

"Why did Araragi call me a girl?" BECAUSE YOU KEEP PUTTING SHINY RIBBONS IN YOUR HAIR

.

I hope everybody in that desert hides any shiny things on their person~

Oh joy, Fiefy Freaks.

...Why are you looking at me like that?

Oh you did -not- just throw a mere child into the line of fire! You're pathetic

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 6. When this hits 10, I get a cardboard box!

What do you want, you pathetic little-

Free bike!

You're alright, old man.

WHAT. DO. YOU. PEOPLE. WANT FROM ME?

Oh. It's -you- again.

That was so zetta pointless.

Oh, it's "N". Still hiding under that baseball cap, I see.

Uh... where are you taking me?

Look, whatever you want, just let me go! I'm not looking for trouble, and gee your hair looks terrific!

I DON'T WANT TO BE SACRIFICED TO THE GREAT FERRIS WHEEL THAT IS ZUUL!

I assume that all of this exposition was how he chose his latest Shampoo from the store.

Agh. Fiefy Freaks, go be Fiefy elsewhere.

"KIRIE, Am I your father?" NO. THAT CAN'T BE. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!! But I hit yes anyway

Ooh, he gets his own shiny banner. Versus N, Seekrit Team Plasma Guy.

For someone with their own banner, you sure don't put up much of a fight

So he went down pretty easily. But then he got all in my face about it.

LITERALLY.

Dude, back up. Seriously. It's creepy.

Much better.

Even better! The farther away you are, the happier I am :3

I have no idea who this chick is...

But hey, you never question a free item.
To Demonstrate:

That's right. I just got an HM from some random, faceless NPC.

I decided to head out, to check out the next route before I went to the Gym.

OR NOT.

Bellarry leave me alone or I will expose your true identity

Apparently, she cannot hear threats, so she just dragged me off (kicking and screaming).

Where are we?

OH GOD NO.

Why are you giving this to me? Surely you don't want me to dress my Pokemon in ridiculous outf-

Yes, they do want me to dress my Pokemon in ridiculous outfits. At least Nazca is fancy now.

Then she finally let me leave after deciding that poor Nazca was dressed up enough.

...or not.

Dude, this guy is telling you a sob story, probably to get money from you

A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!

Oh god it's a joint mugging Bellarry get out of there, you fool! You're blocking my escape route!

CALLING THEM 'YOU EVIL MUSHROOMS' WILL NOT WORK.

Who gave you permission to say my name?

Then they just walked off. I suppose they'll be back.

"Wow KIRIE, that was close!" OF COURSE IT WAS YOU DOOFUS.

After Bellarry walked off, I decided to go down that route I was heading for before I was rudely interrupted.

Where I met a chef.

And caught a Tabunne.

Awww <333~ Now I can get one for my own evil purposes~

I wonder if that dex entry says anything about them eating berries through phagocytosis?~

Kind of a big deal.

10 Glory points to Stel~

Then I fought a guitarist :3

Who gave me a guitar??~ Doodle forthcoming~

TROLLKEMON2, EVOLUTION OF TROLLKEMON!

Well this is certainly annoying.

Go, Cytan!

FEAR HIS ANGRY WRATH!

This gym is an amusement park. Truefax

So here we are, at Kamit-SLUT-re I mean Kamitsure.

GYM BATTLE NUMBER FOUR!!!

Versus This-lady-who-has-very-weird-hair.

Why is she posing like that? Seriously, it's creepy

Either way, I took out her two Emongas with Seal.

That's right, I just beat your entire Electric line up with a Paralyzed Water type.

Again, may I reiterate: THREE DEEEEE!

Aaaand another TM I wordlessly throw into my bag.

AGH MY EYES That gym is really dark, and the day is very bright.

What's that sound... is that aluminum can-

Yes. Yes it is. STOP PUTTING THINGS IN YOUR HAIR IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

Versus Girlman.

-somethingthatgetsone-shotted ^__^

As shown :3

I actually needed to switch to

Cytan

to win this.

"Next time, I swear to the hair god N himself that my hair will be prettier!" Suuuure.

THEN THIS HAPPENED. What is Kamitslutre doing out of her Gym?

LOOK. HOW. RED. THAT. GUY'S. HAIR. IS. Looklook srsly helap.

Looks like he went to the same speech class that Geechisu did.

Is he... is he sending children against us? Well at least Bellarry isn't here.

He most certainly did. It was a double battle with Girlman. He did very little to help.

"I can't believe you beat my child slaves errr young volunteers!"

Where is everybody going don't leave me with redhair D:

Oh right, there was a bridge.

...I don't know what she had to do to get that guy to lower the bridge

More THREEE DEEEE!!

Then everybody left and I went on this bridge.

It has really weird music O_O

Uhm. Wat?

Waaaat. Then the next odd spot on the bridge was a duck. I call hax.

10 Glory points to Stel~

So, I frolicked in some flowers again~

Well. This time, he put Pokeballs in his hair. Festive!

Is that a cowboy? You heard it here first, folks. It's the wild, wild west.

"KIRIE. Should I add Great balls, or do the Ultra balls work on their own?" Well, the great balls would match your outfit

I guess he went to go get more Pokeballs?

There are a lot. Of. Trucks.

So I found a nice little open air market ♥~

With shady, shady people

Also, you can buy Moomoo milk here :3

Hi there, shady, shady stranger!

Wait... wait... Did he just throw out THREE Pokeballs?

Yes he did. Also, I didn't get any more shots of this battle because it was SO ZETTA ROUGH. Seal was the only one left alive, and that's after a revive round for Nazca and Cytan. Yeaaaah. I got pissed off to all hell at it. Ask Stel. I ranted until I found a trainer with a Bachuru.

Below the town, there's this shady, shady "cold storage" place.

What is it with this game and shady people giving me free things?

I am really not a fan of these guys

It seems he switched to Great Balls. Good choice.

"KIRIE, I was thinking of adding Repels... What do you think everyone else would think of my hair?" Do I look like a mind reader?

Stop asking me for advice.

So, I went on a planned diversion from the storyline (READ: I didn't know I was supposed to go in the shady warehouse, so I traversed on to the nearest route

)

It's so pretty here ♥

It's the seasony deer!

I really wonder how this thing evolved. It's not like Pokeballs have been around for thousands of years, why would this little guy have the impetus to have these markings? Or were the first Pokeballs based off of its markings? Hmm.

Oh god, the pink! She best be trollin'!

Oh lawdy, she is!

It's a sciency building!

Ooh, a free item!

HAX. HAXXX. I'm literally angry with rage!

So I caught it.

Basidiomyceteees~ ♥ Again, I should not be allowed on TV/to name things.

This one really was an item~

It's... so... PINK

TAKE IT OUT, CYTAN.

That's just the kind of guy Cytan is.

How creative

I couldn't even push through this lightningy web

So, back to the warehouse I trounced.

He's confused because the Pokeballs, being metallic, lost a whooole lot of heat to the storage facility. He's having a brainfreeze

"KRIIE I THINF MY POKET BALLS ARE ON FIER" Erm... Sure thing, Girlman.

You'd think all of these patches of ice would be a workplace hazard. What kind of operation are these people running?

OH GOD LOOK HOW VEINY IT IS.

Ooh look, an open storage unit. We should go inside, because it's obviously not a bad idea

"Canjed skjuuble fishsword?" Uh... yes?

There are people in here!

Wow, a perfect cube of Fiefy Freaks around a single old man. Huzzah.

"WAGARRRBLEVTRRRRR!!" Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have let him follow me

"Kid, was that even English?" Some broken, freezy form of it, yes.

Great. Now they're going to form a staggered line.

GIRLMAN: "Plasma ships, staggered line! KIRIE! They outnumber us three four to one!"
KIRIE:

Then it is an even fight. All Pokemans, fire at will! Burn their plasma hides...

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 7. So close to that box!

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 8.

What? Aw, I'm losing my cute ball of celly goodness.

WHO'S THAT POKEMON?~

It's

CYTAN!

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 9! One more and I-

What do you mean I can't fight any more of them?

"We have come to save you!" Save me? I'm gonna miss out on my cardboard box because of you!

And then they were all whisked away

And then everyone was gone. Girlman was a little slower.

"Heeesblargle~"

I hope he doesn't get lost on the way out

So I got out of there, and headed towards the Gym.

Oh, looks like Girlman is feeling better. He doesn't seem to remember any of the events that just happened, though.

I'm surprised Geethis isn't moving awkwardly like a kid in freshman Speech

Where did they go?

"KIRIE, why is my hair cold?" Erm. Right.

Then he walks off, to find the meaning of his existence. Nah, just kidding, he saw something shiny. I think it was actually a hat this time.

With this, I go into the Gym, for fun and adventureee~!

YOU'VE READ IT, YOU CAN'T UN-READ IT! STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT "LET'S PLAY! POKEMON WHITE!"

 

[Brendan Savem]

Oh my word SCT... those rivals are everywhere! Why can't they leave you alone here? I found it disappointing that your starter has been the only one getting attention. At least up until now. I await the day that we see more of Cytan and Nazca beating children themselves instead of cowering to Seal for it :3. Oh BTW, you should have told Girlman to go with net balls instead of great balls, those things fit better and might give his hair some hope.

 

[Secad MS]

Mmm, berries. *noms with phagocytosis*

KIRIE is oh so hilarious. She beats on little children, refuses to give hair advice, and now has a samurai seal thing!

 

[snetonobre]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'LL DIE LAUGHING! CAN'T BREATH! -----------------------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Tries laughing, but have no air, creating a hollow sound. This means no sound, because there's not sufficient oxigen in my body).

Now seriously, this is THE funniest thing I've ever seen, Kirie is the enbodiment of sarcams, and everything is always so funny. Now I know how it is to watch a Monthy Python movie: you have to pause to breath, or else you'll die laughing. Keep up the good work, and if I die reading this, at least I'll die happy! But I don't wanna die. Time for a: Ciao.

 

[Shaymin ~]

Watching you play through the game is very entertaining! I can't stop laughing! I love your sarcasm, almost everything you say is funny.
Keep up the great work

Edit: thanks for telling me that.

 

[Satoren]

You're probably not aware of this, Shaymin, but every time you type out an emoticon, the forums takes it as a shortcut to use one its own series of yellow smiley things. That said, you might want to not use emoticons in excess, especially on an already image-heavy thread like this one.

 

[StellarWind Elsydeon]

snetonobre: RX here was talking to Shaymin, not to SCT.

And of course the smileys SCT uses are epic. they were made specifically for this thread!

Edit: Aaaaaaaaaaapparently snetonobre deleted his post and RX edited his to point it more at Shaymin. This post seems nonsequitur now, but it made sense in context. >>;

 

[SineCosineTangent]

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!

Aren't you all excited? Yayyyy!

Also I'm on break now so updates may be more often :>

LAST TIME WE LEFT OUR HEROINE, KIRIE, BEATER OF CHILDREN:

We were about to head in to Yakon's Gym. So here it is~

So the whole Gym is a tribute to Byron's Gym in Canalave. Except it's three times as cool.

OH GOD IT'S THAT TRAFFIC CONE AGAIN WHY MUST IT FOLLOW MEEEEE

Oh look, it's a ground type trainer. Well, Seal should-

TROLLKEMON TWO, EVOLUTION OF TROLLKEMON!

Then it's a haters-gonna-hate/Deal with it Pokemon :>

AND MORE TROLLKEMON.

So after I defeated so enough miners to make Oreburgh look understaffed, I found the final lift thingy.

Oooooh~ Shiny~

What a colossal Anorith!

Seriously, Byron would be zetta jealous if he saw this. He'd also still love this hole.

And now we find Business Man Cowboy Yakon, surrounded by really pretty green crystals.

GYM BATTLE NUMBER FOUR!!!

Versus Business Cowboy :U

"HOWDY PARDNER. Now let me just discuss these here finances on this here cellular phone while I have impertent papers in this here briefcase"

Really, this gym was not much of a challenge for Seal.

I literally one-shotted most of his team

Farewell, Trollkemon! May your trolling days be many!

This guy was on his cellphone for the entire battle. Talk about -rude-

More THREE DEE, because I never tire of taking screenshots of this animation

So after he gave me a badge, he just kept talking on his cellphone. I overheard him telling to advise some guy to buy stock in waffles, tasty waffles, with lots of syrup

With that, I attempted to leave town. -Attempted.-

Oh gods not again.

"Hay KIRIE look I got tons of waffles from this guy on a cellphone! He said I'm keeping business alive!" Yeah, sure thing buddy

"OHMIGOD I almost forgot I have Pokemon!"

Versus Bellary. AGAIN.

Whatever she threw out first, I didn't get an image because I defeated it at the speed of light! Also

And then she tried to get me high or something.

To no avail

So then I took her money. And two waffles.

"I want to give you something!" Is it a hat?

Huh. And I figured she was just going to give me more waffles

And then she just walks off. Damn, I kind of wanted a hat.

So then I journeyed back up to Thunder Stone Cave, only to find that I still couldn't get in.

What's that? Hmmm. Sounds like business talk on a cellphone.

It is! It is business talk on a cellphone!

"In my waffle fueled rage, I forgot to give you this!"

Oh joy, another useless TM *throws into bag*

Then he destroyed the web that was blocking my path and walked off, this time talking about mackerel.

This place is so pretty ♥

Uhm... I think your Red impression needs a feeew more ellipsis...

OH GOD THEY'RE NINJAS. NINJA FANBOYS OF N.

*strikes dramatic pose*

"I see you've met my ninja fangroup~" Yeah, they look like Naruto rejects

"Well fine screw you see if I care what you think do you know how long it took me to amass a fangroup

"

And a resounding cry of "RUTABEGAAAAA" fills the cave. Oh god. This shouting of ridiculous food names can only mean one thing...

Yyyyup. And what's this? I feel the presence of a Pokemon Professor... Oak? Rowan?

Oh wait, right, Araragi. Sorry, there's so many of you and all

Man, she keeps using my name. Maybe if she doesn't use it, she'll forget it.

Free Item~!

And then they just stand around and expect me to do everything

So just to be a rebel, I...

Fought Gears and...

Caught myself the most adorable Bachuru <333333333333333~

♥ 10 Glory points to Stel~ :>

Also found a scientist with one of these :3

And then, after a while, the Waffle brigade found me again.

"Now, Bellary, did you eat your Pokedex? I want you to scan some of these Gears floating about..."

"Uhm... There weren't any crackers in any of the compartments, including the ones I had to bash open with a rock"

Before Bellary got a major DISAPPOINT face from the professor, I ran off to a bridge :>

And met the N Fan Brigade again.

I can cross the bridge by myself, you know

Guys, I TOLD you. More ellipsis! Are you deaf? Oddly enough, N wasn't at the end of the bridge, so I don't know why they appeared O_O

My repel wore off |D I don't know why I screencapped this.

I love these floaty crystals ♥

Never refuse free items given by strangers :3

Three meals in one week?!

What's this? ...I feel a free box coming on...

It's time for more FIEFY FREAKS!

Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 10

I got a box, I got a box, I got a box hey hey hey hey~

10 11

10 11 12

10 11 12 13

10 11 12 13 14

OH COME ON. 15.

Aaaand we keep going. 16.

And then, after tons of Fiefy goodness, we get to Mr. Fabulous Hair himself.

"You made fun of my ninjas, but what do you think of them now?!" Still suck!

"Oh you kid. Don't you want to be a ninja? A faaaan-ninja~?" No.

VERSUS SEEKRIT TEAM PLASMA GUY N

I swear his pose gets more faaahhbulous every time :>

These guys look like Unggoy :3

I hated fainting this guy, because Bachuru is the most adorable thing ever

"Can you tell that I captured all of my Pokemon in this cave? WELL CAN YOU?" Now I can >>

"Buhbuhbuh... I guess this cave just wasn't fabulous enough."

"And I used conditioner and -everything-. There are all these electric webs in my -HAIR- and I can't believe this place and HMPH I'M LEAVING." Oshit dramaquit?

"KIRIE!!!!!!!!!!"

"Who's that fabulously hair'd guy?" Oh god don't encourage him

"I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE LAND~" See? This is what happens.

And then he walked fabulously away.

"Blee blee bloo blah hats and such?"

And then Araragi just walked away so that she wouldn't lose any more IQ points.

"I like hats, KIRIE." I know.

And then, rather than walking out of the cave, she walked further in. Good job, Bellary

WE ARE AT THE PLACE OF AIRPORTS HURRDURR.

Oh look, an original sprite! I wonder why it's there...

Oh, right, because it wants something from me. Of course

I won't argue with something free :>

Did you... did you order an escort for me? Oh god this is awkward

I certainly hope she's not listing prices

OH GOD DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HER.

Uhm... Hi. "Hi KIRIE." Ohgodthisissoawkward.

"You should come see me some time ;D"

Eewwwww.

I need some GermEx

So, out of pure horror and awkwardness, I ran back into the safety of Thunder Stone Cave, because everyone knows that sluts don't like electricity. Except for Kamitsure, but she's far, far away from here... I hope

So then I fought a scientist!

Go! Cytan!

So after I got bored of the cave, I ran out to a route somewhere :>

Where I got a free item!

And some Cytan training!

3on3? What do you speak of-

Not agaiiin

But I actually did pretty well this time :3

Huzzah!

No, you cannot have my hair's autograph.

Mah electric spider of cuteness is growing <333

"Liek, ohmigod so totally!" That is all I think about when I see this Pokemon.

I like to think that I gave this berry to Cytan, who absorbed it and then squeaked.

Yay! The return of Shamey!

Although I don't see what he has to be ashamed of, that Pokemon is adorable ♥

Oh. Thaaaat's what you had to be ashamed of

TROLLKEMON.

This thing looks so badass that I'm going to curl in a corner and whimper.

It's okay friend of Shamey, who is also named Shamey.

CELL. VERSUS. CELL. The stunning finale!

Also here's a Kibago that is adorable ♥

The owner of said Kibago gave me something free :>

But then... I had the sudden urge... to fly like a Wargle.

So I went to an airport and ran around recklessly on the tarmac. Obviously the safest thing to do.

Then I went to go see if I could complain to the flight people.

They gave me free things, but put me on the "No-Fly" list. We'll see about that

JOHN FREEMAN GOT HIS COMPUTER SHUT DOWN, AND WENT ON THE ROOF- Oh riiight.

Oh look, it's stalkermom. You're right behind me, aren't you?

AREN'T YOU?

...Guess not.

Then I went on these balancy things, and met a clown. Clowns scare me

Although I do love these things ♥

The fun was not to last, though, because I fell of the balancy thing into some very tall and angry grass.

Where I got into a random double battle and leveled up :>

ALSO LOOK AT THIS.

So after a while of balancy things, clowns, and tall grass, I finally got back on the path.

Where I met a stereotyped hiker.

Then I stole the hiker's money, and was off :>

What's this? Level 41~~~~

EVOLUTION~

I don't know how a cell could punch things, but whatevs~

I don't remember if this was from separate battles, or the same one |D

Three meals in one evolution~? Also, EEEEEEE Fuzzyspider :>

Ooh look a creepy tower let's go in

This is a very... spirally... tower.

I do love this staircase, though.

Awww what a cute little guy :>

And then Audax ate it

I want one of these, so I better weaken it-

Nevermind

Stealin' things from gravesites, just another service I offer

Well aren't you odd...

I had to send out Cytan for some unknown reason

And then I caught one of these candle buggers :3

I am entirely obsessed with that name. DO NOT QUESTION.

More graverobbing....

And a whorefish!

DON'T YOU USE THOSE WINKY EYES AT ME.

And look at all of this... fur? Mustache fur? I have no idea.

More looting.

Go Audax go!

I am disappoint in this line

After much climbing, I got to the top of this tower. It was spooky.

Oh no it's the slut! This tower has officially been upgraded to "Scary Toer".

And then she made me go forward and ring this bell.

This -better- not end society

"KIRIE ended the world!" OH DAMNIT.

"It is done." WHAT IS DONE. Why do you people not explain what you're making me doooo I'm just a random trainer

Then she went off to be a slut some more

Have I had enough looting? Never.

....WAIT WHAT? Damn sneaky seasons!

I got all healed up, and prepared to face...

THE SLUT.

"Welcome to the strip c- I MEAN Gym! Here's a water!"

So then you fly through the air from cannons and fight trainers. That is the gist of this "Gym".

Also, 99.9% of the trainers are -males-. Seriously, there's a miner in the Flying Gym. Something's fishy here

Audax shall feed on the pervyness

Seriously. All males.

YES FEED ON THEM.

This was actually the second miner I ran in to.

THUMP. This cannon threw me into a wall

Oh hey there. I see you bring in a lot of male trainers. Care to explain?

OH GOD DON'T WANT TO KNOW

GYM BATTLE NUMBER SIX!!!

Versus The-Lady-Who-I-Thought-Was-A-Hooker-And-Then-Totally-Was

Get some clothes on! Seriously no one wants to see that!

So then I pulled some type advantages all up in this

And decimated EVERYTHING

EVERYTHING.

She then said something vaguely promiscuous.

Yes more three-dee Sheesh even I'M tired of this.

I used a lot of GermEx on anything she touched

Oh god he was WAITING FOR ME. Creeperrr

"Do you think you can escape my beautiful hair?~" Didn't you have a ninja fanclub before?

No, seriously, you had ninjas before.

Remember? I said they were bad Naruto ripoffs.

And then you stormed off?

Where are they?

...You lost them, didn't you?

"NUH UH I SET THEM FREEEEE." Sure thing

"I won't even dignify that with a response hmph I'm leaving!"

Then I got myself the hell out of that weird airport town.

Walkin towards the stairs~

BUT NOT FOR LONG.

Whaaaaaaat. What do you WANT from me? Oh right. Kung fu fight and all of that.

Versus Girlman.

Audax made very short work of this bird :>

And this water monkey, too. Liek totally dead!

He paused to grow a level...

And then realized that he was no match for the smugness.

So Cytan swooped in and kicked some major arse.

But then Repardasu came along, and poor Cytan was outmatched!

So the not-so-itsy-bitsy spider shocked and owned the kitteh :>

!

Oh hi, red hair man! Did you set your hair on fire again?

Considering the fact that I have no shots of him coming down the stairs like a normal person, I'm 90% sure that he just jumped.

"Did you... did you just jump from that ledge?" "Probably."

"Take this. You kids saw nothing. I am not secretly superhuman. My hair does not turn yellow when I am angry, and my name is not a vegetable."

"GOOD DAY!" And then he walked off

"I wonder what's up with him."

"KIRIE, what's a carrot?" Oh god just go.

SO HE WENT.

Also, I gave Seal his very own surfboard.

WhatisthisIdon'tlikeitewwwww.

So then I went into this cave thinger :>

Business Cowboy and Girlman? What is going on here?

"I was just telling this here pardner about principles in economics!"

"He also gave me a cowboy hat!"

"Yes, in exchange for the next 20 years of work as my financial assistant!"

"Boy is this hat kid dumb!"

And then he walked off laughing.

"KIRIE, do I look good in this hat?" Sure thing...

Satisfied, he walked off.

This is from EXP Share, kthx :>

Seal is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

These things are pretty damn awesome :>

And the Seal ate it and was no longer the answer

WE MUST KARATE FIGHT.

Before that battle could even -begin-, Seal ate the trainer.

Nazca did too. THE EEEND.

Look at all 'dem bulldozers :>

And what I assume is a random ice crystal~

Oh god here we go again.

"WE ARE THE FIEFY FREAKS AND WE DEMAND FIEFS."

"You dare question my COWBOY HAT OF GREATNESS AND FINANCIAL SERVITUDE?"

"No man, back off, that kid's got a hat the size of the moon." Yeah, I'm confused too

"YEAH YOU BETTER RUN."

"KIRIE this hat is amazing. Should I attach more Pokeballs to this?" No. No you should not.

So then I got myself out of that cavey thing.

Then SUPREEEEZE random person!

They asked me a question that I had no idea how to answer, so I just said yes

I suppose it was the right answer?

Then he just walked off.

Then I splashed around in puddles!

Then ran into one of these buggers in the water!

And caught it :>

It's got kissy lips like o3o

Look people!

They're moving around in little circles!

Oh god why do I keep going into these houses?

She dragged me inside

The whole family is talking to me. They probably want to eat me ;___;

I DON'T TASTE LIKE CRACKERS!

I think I filled this in with a random word :>

Wheeee~

Well this is super imposing!

Aaaand we end this particular adventure here, in Sekka City! Stay tuned :>

 

[Secad MS]

Fabulous! You kicked a poor prostitute's aviator's butt, pwned a distracted cowboy, and caught one of Stel's spiders. All of this with your random humor.

I believe the carrot-guy's name is Adeku.

 

[charmander91]

Good job keeping me amused I shall continue to lurk in topic

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Welcome back, one and all, to the adventures of our ALL-CAPS heroine, KIRIE! The Beater Of Children!

Last time, we trounced around and ended up in Sekka City, a beautiful hamlet filled with little windmills and puddles galore~!

I also ran towards the Ice gym, but figured it was far too strong to challenge quite yet. So, I did some explorin'!

First, I went to the North of town, where this friendly trainer gave me an item of some sort

Then I found something lying on the ground that I assumed was mine and stole

And caught this :>

TROLL2, EVOLUTION OF TROLLKEMON!

I also battled one of these- I find they look like wives of mobsters with expensive and fancy fur coats

After stealing finding some more items, I dragged myself back to the Pokemon center for some healing...

...

AND THEN IT WAS WINTER.

So I took revenge on it by sneaking around like a ninja and stealing a free TM from a friendly passerby

I went back North of town for some more training: Here are the results!

However, after realizing that my path further to the East was blocked, I decided to head back...

To face my destiny...

At this crazy Ice Gym

OH GODS WHAT IS THAT THING it looks so angry and upset and I shouldn't be here I don't belong here DON'T EAT MY FAAACE

Then Thankfully Seal ate it and saved my face.

This whole Gym feels like a tragedy waiting to happen. Like what if I tried to drive a car in here?! I'd crash into things because of all of this ice.

They should consider my safety.

Also, this entire Gym is one big forced kung fu fight!

And because it was all one big fight, I figured I could just provide you all with level up screenshots because I'm lazy

And, of course, after much sliding around on the ice (yes I fell and bruised my knee thanks for not caring), I got to the vestibule of this aging Bishie.

GYM BATTLE NUMBER SEVEN!!

VERSUS TALK-TO-THE-HAND-KUNG-FU-BISHIE!!

Like, he's seriously doing a position from one of my practice forms

"FEAR MY ICE CREAM CONE!" Honestly, I would be far more scared of you if we actually kung fu fought.

Okay now I'm a little more scared because these things will eat my face.

He continued to do kung fu poses. I begin to wonder if he actually knows kung fu, or if he saw one movie when he was a kid.

LOOK GUIS IT'S ANOTHER 3-D BADGE MONTAGE.

These badges are quite shiny, though~

As usual, I got a TM. It is probably useless :>

WHEEEEE ICE SLIDE ♥ This makes up for all of the danger I faced on the ice puzzles of the Gym~

Refreshed from her ice sliding, KIRIE walks out of the Gym...

ONLY TO BE ACCOSTED BY THESE TWO MISCREANTS

"KIRIE! We're stalking you again aren't you proud of us I bet you are look I still have my cowboy hat!"

OH GOD NOW THEY WON'T SHUT UP.

And then kung fu man comes out to join the fray. Hopefully he'll demonstrate some of that martial arts on these jerks

"Hi there kung fu man! I'm Bellary and I eat Pokedexes!"

I see talking, but I don't see ass-kicking. There is a problem here

FINALLY. These silent ninjas must use martial arts! They're ninja fanboys of N!

DAMMIT.

"We must kung fu fight!" No, you clearly only know how to kung fu TALK.

"Yes! We must!" You don't even know how to kung fu talk CORRECTLY, Girlman.

Their solution to this whole ninja N mess will probably to call them "whippersnappers" and shake their fists/canes/cowboy hats threateningly.

"I'll just wait out here and freeze :3" Hey, works for me

...Didn't you go freeze to death?

I swear to ARCEUS if you don't stop talking I will kung fu fight you!

That's it, you're all going to get kung-fu-fought!

Oh! Free item. Nevermind~

Man, this place sure is ominous~

So I went into this crazy spiral thing!

So as I walked through this tower, things kept getting all shakey and I didn't know why. I assume seizures.

!!

Cytan is my strong little cell ♥

Dramatic~

Head for the liiiight!

Oh joy, a Fiefy Freak convention.

Y'know, I was trying to sneak through here unbothered, but hey. Your problems are important too.

Sheesh, you can't even handle a few Fiefy Freaks? No wonder I beat you so easily, Girlman.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR A FIEFY MONTAGE!

Yes all of these are different freaks.

Ooh, a circle party with no Freaks! Huzzah!

!!

Oh no! A spiky word bubble!!

And I come into the next room to find an old guy with a bunch of Fiefy Freaks.

Oh god don't exclamation at me buddy. I NEED AN ADULT.

I said I needed an adult, not a bunch of weirdoes

So they're all going to challenge me in a row. Like -that- will do anything

This is the second one, not a repeat of the first picture |D

Final Fiefy Freak Defeat Count: 25

What's this? I sense a dramatic 3-D scene coming up!

I diid! I diid sense a dramatic 3-D scene!

"Hay KIRIE! Look how fabulousss my Pokemon is! It even requires it's own 3D and don't you wish your Pokemon was hot~like~mine~"

"NOW TO BE EVEN MORE DRAMATIC! Strike a pose~!"

And as he struck a pose, Reshiram came back around and picked him up like a flying limo.

Oh NOW you come.

"KIRIE you should have seen how brave we were!" You hid behind the corner while I beat Fiefy Freaks!

"We bravely hid!"

"Yeah! Bravely!" Shut up you phony kung fu man.

Talk talk talk~ The usual~

!!!!!!

"Carrot man!" Shut up, Girlman.

Here's one thing to take from this LP: All anyone ever does is TALK.

After tons of mashing my keyboard and getting through text, this guy disappeared dramatically into the wood!

Then Girlman dragged Carrot man off so that they could partake in a dinner of only orange things. Huh.

...I'm just going to leave you here.

And before I leave this town, I'm going to take things from people!

TO THE RESORT DESERT because I looked it up and that's where all that talking told me to go

And of course, I can't go three steps without seeing a large walking cowboy hat.

"It's dangerous to go alone!"

"Take this!" He then handed me a rock he picked up off the ground. To be safe, I chucked it at his face and then ran inside.

Then I met this old guy. That rock would have indeed come in handy. Oh well~

26!

27!

28! This is just getting silly.

29! At 40, I get another box :3

Then I fell down this hole into a dramatic scene!

Didn't I hit you in the face with a rock? "Yes you did but it's okay I still have my hat~"

Oh great, it's time for high school speech class again

Adeku! Save your questions for -after- his speech. You're so rude D:

"Yeah now I forgot where I was I guess I'll have to start over blehhh" Oh god no!

"I've got a question! Why does your mom's face?" ...I hate dumb high school questions

"Fine I'm leaving Adeku made me cry

"

And he ran off.

"Mr.Carrot, why does his mom's face?" Girlman, shut up.

SUDDENLY MAGIC WARP

THE SUN AND THE BIRDS WERE ALMOST DOWN FROM THE TOP OF THE SKY, TOP-TOP OF THE SKY~

KIRIE!!!

KIRIEEEE!!

KIIIIIRRRRRIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!

HOLY HOTDOGS KIRIE!!! Yes, she really does shout the player's name four times. I swear.

Yes, I'm proud that you learned my name, now stop shouting it!

"...what's her problem?" Some form of ADD perhaps?

I don't know what he said, but my guide told me I was supposed to fly to Shippou City~

SO I WENT!

Ooh look, they're forming a V for me~

Aaaand you ruined the moment by talking.

Hay there Aloe! How's being awesome going for ya?

"Do you have toast stashed in your afro?" Bellarry, seriously, shut up.

"...You high?" Yeah, she keeps finding mushrooms and assumes they must be lunch.

Then everyone starts talking. Again. Because what -else- does this game do?

"KIRIE! You are our only hope!"

Yes?

"Then have this, because if you don't take it, I'm going to beat Bellarry over the face with it."

IMPORTANT ITEM GET!

Important item get continued!

Did Adeku just say "....."? Because that's the smartest thing I've heard him say all game.

KIRIE!!!!!

Why does everyone shout in this gammmme?

And then the council disassembled.

"Good luck, non Afro'd yet still fabulously hair'd heroine."

"And try not to use any of your key items to beat this idiot." That's a hard thing to promise, Aloe.

Also the new Fly animation is nice |D

TO THE NEXT PLACE!

So I got to this imposing building that sits outside of Sekka City.

Oh no. Don't make me use my key items!

I think at this point, KIRIE pulled out her bicycle and beat the living daylights out of Bellarry.

She then got up, adjusted her hat, and challenged me.

Her Pokemon fell so fast, I only got level up shots.

If it isn't the mushrooms, it's the Musharna. Well, at least they have the same four letters at the beginning.

At least she gave me a full restore

And then she walked off into the snow~

Dramatic 3-D bridge!!!

This chick is just running in circles. And do you know how long it took me to actually run into her path? Longer than I'd like to admit.

Gasp! What's thiiiis? Do I see a crying high school speech student?

Must be, because there are ninjas around me now.

Wait, I thought you guys were N fanboys! What happened? Did he get too fabulous?

"I hate Adeku he's such a meanie face!"

Your ninjas are not impressed by this name calling

"Well I don't care he's a meanie faaace!" He then proceeded to make a funny face by pulling his cheeks. Whatever.

He continues walking back and forth while insulting Adeku, probably to show me how much his speech technique has improved.

"Here's my first reason why Adeku is a meanie face. He's a jerk."

"Secondly, Adeku has spiky orange hair. What does he think he is a carrot?"

"In conclusion, I'm leaving with my ninja buddies."

That was a terrible conclusion. 10 points off.

And the second I get off this bridge, some guy throws a TM at me. That's literally what happens.

Also Levelll up~!

Look how big and bad this guy is. I bet he just wants a hug D:

Instead his Pokemon got eaten by a spider

What's this? Consumerism at its finest?

Yay! A giant superstore!

Ooh a seekrit doorway~

Not so seekrit anymore

So I took something and then ran off |D

Ahh, new city~

Oh, Adeku. Geethis was saying mean things about you D:

"He WHAT?! I'll beat his face for that!" Ah, high school rivalries.

"Here he is right now, in fact! I'd get him, except he has his buddies with him." Suuuure you will.

"OH LOOK IT'S ADEKU THE JERK. Would you like to hear my reasons for why he's a jerk?" No, I heard them, they're not that good.

"Reason number one:" I said no.

"Reason number two:" NO. SHUT UP.

"And finally..." I'm going to fail you if you keep talking

"Fine fine I'll leave." And so he went~

Oh look, a little girl with big hair!

Oh fine, walk off without me!

See if I care you big jerk.

And then the old guy walks off too.

And then I got dragged around by a little girl.

AND SHE LEFT ME TOO. Why does nobody want to be my friend? Riiight, the hair.

RANDOM TRIPLE BATTLE TIEMS!

Munkii fight :3

ANOTHER TRIPLE BATTLE TIEM!

I'm getting the hang of this~

Free prize?

Then I posed with this guy in front of the Gym~

"Hi~! Let me drag you somewhere else!"

And to this house I was dragged~

Aand she runs off to the Gym or something.

So off I went~!

Took a quick break to get items from stereotypical high school students~

And here we end, in front of the Dragon Gym! More to come next time :3

 

[DarkMist]

lol oh my gosh every time i read these posts i always laugh! i'm gonna watch these walkthrough's until they end! I can't wait for the next one!

 

[PokeGirlPraure]

Awesomeee~ It is so funny! I can't wait for the other part of KIRIE, The Beater Of Children, adventures through Isshu with random a**holes popping up.

 

[Secad MS]

Goodness, thievery, murder, cannibalism, destruction of property...KIRIE is one mean person. XD

I agree with you, the new flying animation is very cool.

 

[DarkMist]

Are you going to post the next part yet its been so long :-\

 

[Satoren]

Just be patient, DarkMist. SCT has a lot of other things to take care of, so it's understandable that her LP thread isn't something of the utmost priority. Demanding her to post isn't going to get anyone anywhere either.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

So, I'm going to be entirely cheap this time because this update is short. After this, you will get a sidequest montage that is not dissimilar of a clip show. Then I promise to continue XD I've got a lot of university work on my head, plus it's mah birthday weekend :V Still can't believe that I'll be 20 on Monday. How the years fly~

Enough about me. It's time for (say it with me guis :>)
KIRIE! THE BEATER OF CHILDREN!!!

On the last episode of this wacky adventure, I was standing before the Dragon Gym in Souryuu~

Like so~

So, the entire inside of this Gym are these crazy moving dragons.

It was also filled with dragon type trainers that Audax ate

Also Aden ate things too ♥

You heard it here first: The Souryuu Gym is full of shady, shady people

And their shady, shady Pokemon that Seal noms :3

Also this lady, who hangs out with shady, shady characters.

Here's another shot of Aden eating things.

Now you may wonder why I didn't get more battle shots. It was because I had to run in and out of this gym a bunch of times because Dragons handed my arse to me. So, to make up for it, here's a Gym Leader battle |D

GYM BATTLE NUMBER EIGHT!!!!!

Versus a little girl with big hair :>

Err, big hair and a silly outfit :>

So, she sent out this fella first. I actually had quite a bit of trouble due to the use of a hyper potion at some point

If Onondo gave me trouble, this Christmas Dragon did even more. I always had trouble with these things, and this one was no exception.

Her last Pokemon was Ononox, named "Haxorus" in the English for a damn good reason. This thing was a nightmare to take down.

But then I did

Go get a baseball cap, Shamey 2.

I promise this will never happen again. I bet you're just as tired of seeing shiny Gym badge rotations as I am

Also another useless TM~

So then I left the Gym and stepped out into the warm sunlight of Souryuu~

Only to be accosted by this miscreant

Haven't you talked to me enough, woman!?

Please stop dragging me I don't wanna gooooo

If that question reads "Am I rather annoying?" I shall answer "Yes"

"You're correct, KIRIE! I am annoying."

Here have a free thing |D

STOP. SAYING. MY GODDAMN NAME.

You'll wear it out and I just got new tires on it.

And then she walks off. I think she spent too much time with Bellarry

"It's dangerous to go alone! I won't give you any items because I'm a cheap NPC!" Yeah, thanks buddy. In reality, he was telling me about a storm on some route. We must go, for some silly Legendary awaits~!

It is indeed storming on this route! So I ran into some random house because I didn't want to get hit by lightning |D

And when I came out, I have no idea what the -eff!- happened.

The sneaky seasons are your doing? You bastard!

Don't spiky word bubble at me! You've got some serious explaining to do!

STOP CHANGING THE DAMN SEASONS!

First it was storming, then it was winter, then it's spring? What is going onnn you're hurting my braiiiin! In response, it flew off to be an annoying traveling legendary >>

So, I flew back to Souryuu in order to go North, this time for real without any cheap NPCs stopping me.

As shown~

(This never gets old)

Neither does Aden eating things.

What's that I hear? A smug sense of financial servitude?

Whaddya know?! I did!

Oh! Hats is here too! Hi Hats. I like that name better for you. You're Hats of the Hat Arcana. Deal with it.

If that question is "Is Hats my new name?" then I say "yes"

"Okay then~" And then she became a background object as Girlman screamed...

"MY NAME WILL NEVER BE HATS!

WE MUST KUNG FU FINANCIAL SERVITUDE FIGHT!"

So we did!

Hmm, Bird versus electric spider.... I wonder who would win...

Aaand Audax ate him :3

Liek, so totally dead~!

And then I brought out Aden, because he's full of win and awesome :>

Oh look, it's fabulous cat. Fabulous cat, meet angry spider :>

Aww, they're friends! Er... Frenemies? I hate that word.

Free healing~

Okay, I get it, you learned my name. You know what you haven't learned? HOW TO CLEAN MY SWANKY, SWANKY ROOM THAT YOU MESSED UP. That's right, I still remember that.

He better have left to go clean my room

I better see mops in your hands when I get back!

So I went down the next route~

Free things are free :>
And what's this?

It's...

COLBERT, TRUTHY COLBERT!

Name shortened because those five name blanks are communist

Party hats all around!

TROLLKEMON THREE: ANOTHER TROLLKEMON!

Also I ran into this guy. I bravely ran away (away)~

Free item~

And then a very, very large and imposing structure!

Let's go in :3~

Can't you just FEEL the destiny? FEEEEEL IIIT.

The whole idea is that each of these areas corresponds to a Gym :3

It's rather cool :>

It's also highly dramatic~

The drama is driving me crazy... Quick! Do something insanely random!

Ah. That's better. And yes, I really -did- evolve Aden in the middle of these rooms.

Oh, this isn't dangerous at all

A mini Ice puzzle? Arrrgh

Aaaand large dragon heads :>

We now come to the opening of this region's Victory Road, called "Champion Road" in this particular translation.

That's right, it's time for annoying trainers and strength-ing rocks.

Not to mention eating things to gain their courage. Their tasty, tasty courage.

Is that guy jumping? DO A FLIP!

Sheesh, that guy is spiky word bubble afraid. That's some serious fear.

Also

TIME FOR AN EATING THINGS MONTAGE? Why yes it is~!

And after all of that, I found my way out of this crazy place.

And into this one :3

Lesson, Lesson~! If you can't read something because it's in moon language, and there are two guards in front of an entry way that ask you something, they are not asking to see your badges, and they are not guarding the Pokemon Center that you need to go to after a long trek through Champion Road. Do not make the mistake I did. Because I shooped myself straight into the Elite Four with no healing. Needless to say, I didn't make it, but here are some level up shots

I actually made short work of the Ghost chick~
And now for more leveling.

And then I got kicked out by Caitlin. So, I went to go train some more!~

I also caught one of these :3

Glory points go to Stel |D

And, the last thing I have for you? Level up shots. Because this is how much grinding this game takes.

Okay that's it I promise.

Next time, you get a filler arc of Sidequests for legendaries. After that? Elite Four. Then a mystery! Aren't you excited?