Shiny Motley
2016 Singles Football
Note: this is an extremely serious and touchy topic; if you're not comfortable posting your stories here, please don't feel pressured to do so.
With some events that's happened these past few weeks, I had an urge to start a topic like this. I've... never really had a chance to be really open about my feelings on this topic. I guess this is my own way to vent, even if my story took place a few years ago. A lot of this will probably be jumbled as even 2 years later, I'm still very emotional about it every time it's brought up. It's... a very long rambling. So spoiler tag.
With some events that's happened these past few weeks, I had an urge to start a topic like this. I've... never really had a chance to be really open about my feelings on this topic. I guess this is my own way to vent, even if my story took place a few years ago. A lot of this will probably be jumbled as even 2 years later, I'm still very emotional about it every time it's brought up. It's... a very long rambling. So spoiler tag.
Feb. 20, 2014. I remember that exact day so clearly in my head; I had my midterm of the semester that day, and woke up earlier than normal to study for it. I got breakfast at the nearby dining hall on campus, and met a friend there, Ian. Ian and I talked a bit about how our first semester of college life had been, what we were looking forward to this second semester, just regular small talk. I mentioned how my grandfather was in the hospital after a nasty fall over Thanksgiving break, but last I heard from him he sounded like he was recovering nicely. Ian said he'd pray for a speedy recovery for my grandfather, and I thanked him for it.
After breakfast, we parted ways and I did a bit of quick cramming before my exam. I walked in and had another chat with a friend, though it was brief as the professor and TAs started passing out the exams. I finished relatively quickly and turned it in. Feeling good about how I did, I decided I should phone my parents and tell them the good news.
I phoned my mother first. I told her how confident I felt, and how I almost definitely got an A. Her voice was strangely subdued. I knew she'd usually be quiet because she was in her office, but something felt... off. She told me she was busy, and I left it at that. I went to get a brekafast taco and sat in the lobby area outside of the dining hall, debating whether I should go to my next class or not. After a bit, I walked out and started on my way back to my dorm, deciding it was time I shared the good news with dad.
Like mother, his voice was quiet and just... I dunno. Nothing made sense to me. Dad was acting weird, the background noise didn't sound like his office building. I was so confused, though he expressed that he felt happy I did well on my exam. We hung up shortly after that and I decided that I didn't want to go to either of my next two classes. I went to my room and went on chat for a bit. I felt really melancholic for whatever reason and thought perhaps I was homesick. I found myself crying and so I climbed into bed, wanting my pillows and blankets to offer me some comfort. My roommate walked in sometime later, and I told her not to bother me.
At some point I probably fell asleep, still crying. Regardless, I woke up. My small group was celebrating my friend's birthday today, and though I really wasn't feeling up to it, nobody else seemed to have time to go. So I got cleaned myself up and got dressed before walking over to our meet-up area.
Our small group leader, Caroline, was already there waiting. I waved at her and we had some small talk about midterm season and the like. Grace, the birthday girl, showed up not long after, and so we walked over to a Thai restaurant close to campus. I don't remember what I got, but I do remember telling them the same thing I told Ian: my grandpa looked like he was getting better when I went back the past weekend, and we all prayed for a speedy recovery for him. We wished Grace a happy birthday and parted ways, and, having nothing better to do, I went back to my dorm.
My roommate was gone for a study session, so I went on chat for a bit. I got a call from my parents not long after. I talked to my dad a bit about Grace's little party where only Caroline and I showed up, and how I cried earlier that day because I felt really homesick. At this point, my dad paused, and seemed to have a small discussion with the people around him. I could make out my uncle and mom's voices telling him something, but I couldn't make out what. Impatient, I asked what was wrong. And that's when I finally got the news.
Around 9:11 am, right before I took my exam, my grandfather passed away.
It took me a while for that to sink in. All day, I've been telling people he looked better, that he seemed to be recovering. I asked them to pray for him to get better. If God has a sense of humor, it's a very twisted one. Everything suddenly made sense: why my parents sounded so strange that morning, why I broke down in the afternoon. It was all just too surreal. I don't remember much after that; I probably spent a lot more time crying in my bed, a bit more crying over my computer as I talked to people online, and some more after my roommate came back and I told her what happened. It was about 10:43 when they told me. I honestly don't know what happened after that, not the next few hours or even the next few days.
Sometime in early March, we held the funeral for him. My other uncle came over from China and stayed with us. My cousin arrived from Chicago not long after. One of my grandpa's students drove down from Ohio and gave his eulogy, talking about what a great mentor and friend he was, and how he was glad that they met one last time the year before to have dinner. My dad and older uncle also gave their spiels. Meanwhile, my cousin and I were barely functioning as we cried and piled up tissue after tissue between us, and my poor grandmother... my poor grandmother. I don't think I need to say much more than that. At the end of it all, the family all lined up, and everyone who attended gave us long hugs and cried with us. My best friend, who hates physical affection and shies away from even hand holding, who had never even talked to my grandfather, was there, and she hugged me tightly. My roommate did the same.
It's 2 years later, and I can't even hold myself together as I remember him and all he's done. He got his US Citizenship just a year before he passed away. He saw not just his children, but also his grandchildren, go on to college. He was able to see everyone at least one last time during the 3 months he was hospitalized. I'm sure he lived a very hapoy and fulfilling 88 years, but I'll miss him dearly.
After breakfast, we parted ways and I did a bit of quick cramming before my exam. I walked in and had another chat with a friend, though it was brief as the professor and TAs started passing out the exams. I finished relatively quickly and turned it in. Feeling good about how I did, I decided I should phone my parents and tell them the good news.
I phoned my mother first. I told her how confident I felt, and how I almost definitely got an A. Her voice was strangely subdued. I knew she'd usually be quiet because she was in her office, but something felt... off. She told me she was busy, and I left it at that. I went to get a brekafast taco and sat in the lobby area outside of the dining hall, debating whether I should go to my next class or not. After a bit, I walked out and started on my way back to my dorm, deciding it was time I shared the good news with dad.
Like mother, his voice was quiet and just... I dunno. Nothing made sense to me. Dad was acting weird, the background noise didn't sound like his office building. I was so confused, though he expressed that he felt happy I did well on my exam. We hung up shortly after that and I decided that I didn't want to go to either of my next two classes. I went to my room and went on chat for a bit. I felt really melancholic for whatever reason and thought perhaps I was homesick. I found myself crying and so I climbed into bed, wanting my pillows and blankets to offer me some comfort. My roommate walked in sometime later, and I told her not to bother me.
At some point I probably fell asleep, still crying. Regardless, I woke up. My small group was celebrating my friend's birthday today, and though I really wasn't feeling up to it, nobody else seemed to have time to go. So I got cleaned myself up and got dressed before walking over to our meet-up area.
Our small group leader, Caroline, was already there waiting. I waved at her and we had some small talk about midterm season and the like. Grace, the birthday girl, showed up not long after, and so we walked over to a Thai restaurant close to campus. I don't remember what I got, but I do remember telling them the same thing I told Ian: my grandpa looked like he was getting better when I went back the past weekend, and we all prayed for a speedy recovery for him. We wished Grace a happy birthday and parted ways, and, having nothing better to do, I went back to my dorm.
My roommate was gone for a study session, so I went on chat for a bit. I got a call from my parents not long after. I talked to my dad a bit about Grace's little party where only Caroline and I showed up, and how I cried earlier that day because I felt really homesick. At this point, my dad paused, and seemed to have a small discussion with the people around him. I could make out my uncle and mom's voices telling him something, but I couldn't make out what. Impatient, I asked what was wrong. And that's when I finally got the news.
Around 9:11 am, right before I took my exam, my grandfather passed away.
It took me a while for that to sink in. All day, I've been telling people he looked better, that he seemed to be recovering. I asked them to pray for him to get better. If God has a sense of humor, it's a very twisted one. Everything suddenly made sense: why my parents sounded so strange that morning, why I broke down in the afternoon. It was all just too surreal. I don't remember much after that; I probably spent a lot more time crying in my bed, a bit more crying over my computer as I talked to people online, and some more after my roommate came back and I told her what happened. It was about 10:43 when they told me. I honestly don't know what happened after that, not the next few hours or even the next few days.
Sometime in early March, we held the funeral for him. My other uncle came over from China and stayed with us. My cousin arrived from Chicago not long after. One of my grandpa's students drove down from Ohio and gave his eulogy, talking about what a great mentor and friend he was, and how he was glad that they met one last time the year before to have dinner. My dad and older uncle also gave their spiels. Meanwhile, my cousin and I were barely functioning as we cried and piled up tissue after tissue between us, and my poor grandmother... my poor grandmother. I don't think I need to say much more than that. At the end of it all, the family all lined up, and everyone who attended gave us long hugs and cried with us. My best friend, who hates physical affection and shies away from even hand holding, who had never even talked to my grandfather, was there, and she hugged me tightly. My roommate did the same.
It's 2 years later, and I can't even hold myself together as I remember him and all he's done. He got his US Citizenship just a year before he passed away. He saw not just his children, but also his grandchildren, go on to college. He was able to see everyone at least one last time during the 3 months he was hospitalized. I'm sure he lived a very hapoy and fulfilling 88 years, but I'll miss him dearly.
