http://i36.tinypic.com/121wn0m.jpg
That was just too epic!
That was just too epic!
-
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The Chuck Norris Topic
- Thread starter RPG Phreak
- Start date
Props to RPG-kun for making me fall out of my chair.
That was cool. 
We had a lot of Chuck Norris sayings in my high school that I went to.
Example:
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding in the first place. XD
We had a lot of Chuck Norris sayings in my high school that I went to.Example:
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding in the first place. XD
LOL Yeah.. and when Chuck Norris jumps in the ocean, he doesn't get wet, the ocean gets Chuck Norris.
LOL thank you, i haven't laughed like that in ages XD
..*still chuckling*
..*still chuckling*
Lol, I've heard a lotof good Chuck norris ones too.
Teenage mutant ninje turtles was based on a real story, once Chuck Norris ate a bowl of turtle soup, and then he shat out four humanoid turtles that were karate experts. Lol.
But this... Where did you find that man? Chuck Norris never retreats... Oh god...
Teenage mutant ninje turtles was based on a real story, once Chuck Norris ate a bowl of turtle soup, and then he shat out four humanoid turtles that were karate experts. Lol.
But this... Where did you find that man? Chuck Norris never retreats... Oh god...
There was one like that. A few years ago, me and my pals made remakes of commercials. And one for penguin 'chuckas' came up. And one of my friends imitated Chuck Norris and said "Penguin Chuckas! You don't get Chuck! Chuck gets you! So don't just pick up a penguin" He picked up one of my other friends who was imitating a penguin, "chuck one!" He yelled and threw him into the sofa. Good old days...
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zpuyoRv-HfY (don't mean to steal thread)
Chuck Norris joke at the end. man both these things made me lol
Chuck Norris joke at the end. man both these things made me lol
Here's a few.
At night, Chuck Norris has Superman on his Pajamas.....Superman wear Chuck Norris on his.
The best part of walking up is not Folger's in your cup, it's knowing Chuck Norris didn't kill you in his sleep.
Hiding behind that beard of Chuck Norris's is not a chin, but another Round House Kick to the face.
At night, Chuck Norris has Superman on his Pajamas.....Superman wear Chuck Norris on his.
The best part of walking up is not Folger's in your cup, it's knowing Chuck Norris didn't kill you in his sleep.
Hiding behind that beard of Chuck Norris's is not a chin, but another Round House Kick to the face.
One day Chuck Norris walked onto the set of "Walker, Texas Ranger" with a dead lamb in its arms. He then proceeded to give it a vigorous beard-rub, that brought it back to life. Before the cast and crew could say anything however, he tossed it into air, killing it with a roundhouse kick.
The Moral of this Story? Chuck Norris giveth, and Chuck Norris taketh away ;D
The Moral of this Story? Chuck Norris giveth, and Chuck Norris taketh away ;D
I can't remember that last time I laughed so hard I cried......*hands Chao a cake* I think this chair's too small too, only reason I can think of for falling out of it.
Resitance: Everything. Weakness: None. Epic win
[size=1pt]Dunno any Chuck Norris jokes...XD[/size]
I saw that one on Newgrounds. XD
Resitance: Everything. Weakness: None. Epic win
[size=1pt]Dunno any Chuck Norris jokes...XD[/size]I saw that one on Newgrounds. XD
S
Shocari
Chuck Norris has a night-light. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark's afraid of him.
There are 86 objects in the standard bedroom that Chuck Norris can kill you with, including the room.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's actually moving the world.
There are 86 objects in the standard bedroom that Chuck Norris can kill you with, including the room.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's actually moving the world.
I got one.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris can walk on water, too. He eats sharks so they don't eat him.
bah... prepare for a real deluge of Chuck Norris platitudes (beware, some are vulgar and there is quite a bit of swearing)
1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
5. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
6. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
7. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.
8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
11. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "fucking."
12. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
14. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
15. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.
16. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
17. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.
18. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.
19. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
20. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
21. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
22. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
23. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
24. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
25. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
26. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
27. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
28. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
29. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
30. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
31. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
32. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
33. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
34. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
35. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
36. [editted out by Ruko and warned] Vulgar is allowed. Racism isn't.
37. Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.
38. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
39. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later the realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
40. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
41. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
42. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
43. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
44. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
45. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
46. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.
47. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
48. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
49. In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.
50. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
51. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
52. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.
53. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
54. Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.
55. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
56. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
57. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.
58. [editted]
59. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
60. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
61. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
5. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
6. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
7. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.
8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
11. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "fucking."
12. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
14. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
15. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.
16. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
17. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.
18. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.
19. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
20. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
21. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
22. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
23. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
24. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
25. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
26. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
27. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
28. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
29. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
30. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
31. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
32. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
33. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
34. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
35. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
36. [editted out by Ruko and warned] Vulgar is allowed. Racism isn't.
37. Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.
38. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
39. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later the realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
40. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
41. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
42. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
43. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
44. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
45. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
46. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.
47. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
48. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
49. In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.
50. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
51. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
52. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.
53. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
54. Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.
55. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
56. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
57. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.
58. [editted]
59. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
60. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
61. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
I already told number 5 :
Phoenix stole the majority of my jokes. >
However, he hasn't beaten the Chibi yet.
Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through the land.
China was originally attached to North America, until Chuck norris roundhouse kicked it across the world.
Chuck Norris was the 1st person to visit Mars. That's why there's no life there.
Chuck Norris once ate a Rubik's Cube and crapped it out fully solved.
However, he hasn't beaten the Chibi yet.
Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through the land.
China was originally attached to North America, until Chuck norris roundhouse kicked it across the world.
Chuck Norris was the 1st person to visit Mars. That's why there's no life there.
Chuck Norris once ate a Rubik's Cube and crapped it out fully solved.
I didn't mean to put the duplicates in there, just copied and pasted from a file I had sitting around. ^^
-Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
-Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
-Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
-Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
-Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
-Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
-Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
-When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
-Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
-When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
-Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
-Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
-Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
-Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
-Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
-Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
-Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
-Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
-When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
-Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
-When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
-Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Phoe, there were some repeated things in there as well. Btw, *Giga Energy Kicks you for stealing most of her other jokes*
-Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by writing down "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
-On the 7th day, god rested......and let Chuck Norris take over.
-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
-There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer, Chuck Norris is always in control
-Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of everything he calls around you
-Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
-Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by writing down "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
-On the 7th day, god rested......and let Chuck Norris take over.
-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
-There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer, Chuck Norris is always in control
-Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of everything he calls around you
-Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Ruko
Bearded Trout Warrior
[19:16] Alex, you judge the spam level of this thread
[19:16] http://www.pokecharms.com/forums/index.php?topic=4996.0
[19:17] meh
[19:17] it's a Chuck Norris thread
[19:17] it's like a force of nature
[19:17] it's rather impossible to get in its way
If it's being left, I may as well contribute
[19:16] http://www.pokecharms.com/forums/index.php?topic=4996.0
[19:17] meh
[19:17] it's a Chuck Norris thread
[19:17] it's like a force of nature
[19:17] it's rather impossible to get in its way
If it's being left, I may as well contribute
Oh God.... lol That made me laugh. (I usually don't like perverted things, but that I admit was funny.)
Here's some more Chuck Norris. (I don't know if anyone posted these yet. If so, please forgive me.)
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has been to the moon, and ate cheese there.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus' birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what "his way" detailed, he replied: "with barbed wire and nails, of course". He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
Edit: Some more:
-There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
-If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris does not need to use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford changes its actual spelling.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's potato chip.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Noris can rhyme orange and purple... with each other!
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the SOUL.
God said "Let there be light", Chuck Noris said "Say please".
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Here's some more Chuck Norris. (I don't know if anyone posted these yet. If so, please forgive me.)
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has been to the moon, and ate cheese there.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus' birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what "his way" detailed, he replied: "with barbed wire and nails, of course". He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
Edit: Some more:
-There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
-If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris does not need to use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford changes its actual spelling.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's potato chip.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Noris can rhyme orange and purple... with each other!
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the SOUL.
God said "Let there be light", Chuck Noris said "Say please".
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
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I thought it was:
Then there's:
Chuck Norris makes the Onion cry.
If you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$, he has more money than you.
A week ago, Chuck Norris was bit by a Rattlesnake. Just last night, in excruciating pain, the Rattlesnake died.
-AL
*POOF!*
NOTE: I just realized what Cody *Implodes* Name looks like after a quote. XD