OOC: Wow I took way too long...also Luckii you got your wish because this sucker is sixteen pages long in MS Word and it's only part one. Miguela can has drama. Enjoy~
Miguela
It was absolutely gorgeous when I woke up this morning. There was not a cloud in the sky so even though it was definitely freezing, you could still enjoy the sun. The only thing that marred this morning was my headache. I'm sure I overdid it with all the studying last night; all of my dreams involved math problems, vocabulary, and scientific diagrams. It was only the second week of school, but the first school-wide test would be coming tomorrow so Carina and I wanted to be prepared. I was a little concerned when she drew up our study schedules—it was just so much! But she knew best so who was I to complain?
Lucas was still fast asleep in his bed as I got ready for school. It was unusual because he should've been the one getting -me- up and it made me feel slightly guilty. I stayed up late last night and he stayed awake as well to make sure I had company. Poor thing. I should've forced him to go to bed, but oh well. I'll repay him by letting him sleep until it was time for us to go.
When I came in for breakfast, I was surprised to see a) my parents weren't there (I remember them saying they were going to check out something in the store) and b) that my sister had beat me there. Yet another unusual occurrence because she was supposed to be the one dragging in despite getting plenty of sleep the night before. But here she was and she seemed to be in a really good mood as she looked at something on her tablet. I quickly pointed it out to her.
“Wow Miranda,” I told her. “Did something happen? I've never seen you in such an effervescent mood!”
Her smile faded and she looked annoyed. “What's with your tone and your stupid SAT word?”
I shrugged. “I was only asking because I was surprised to see you here before me.”
She deliberated for a second before she spoke. “All right, all right. I'll give you that one. I had to get up early because of a group project in my health class.” Miranda rolled her eyes. “Ugh, that just killed my good mood.”
“Group projects are always fine for me,” I said. No one at Veilstone High School wanted to be the slacker and risk attracting the ire from the rest of their group. If anything, our problem was with people wanting to do too much rather than too little. I was definitely guilty of doing that, but who can blame me. Even in a group project it's every girl for herself.
“Well I guess being a bunch of overachievers has to pay off somewhere,” my sister said dismissively. “Health is one of the classes where advanced and honors students are mixed in with the general ed kids. Translation: It means we have the people who care about school and the ones that don't all mixed together. Guess what kind of kids I have in my group...” A look of utter disgust crossed her face.
“Don't you think that's a bit hypocritical of you?” I said after I swallowed the bit of bagel I was eating. “You always said that at your school you didn't divide yourselves depending on what track you were on.”
“And we don't,” Miranda said. “But it's hard to deny that general ed is mostly made up of kids who...well, don't care. And unlike at your school, the advanced and honors students can care about school and -still- have a life. The general ed kids are just a different breed. But even then there are some good people in it.”
I finished off my bagel and stood up. “Fair enough,” I said. “Hope your project turns out all right.”
“You and me both,” she said. “By the way, are you doing anything after school? I want you to come try on some dresses with me. That's what I was looking at earlier.”
“Yeah, I can't,” I told her bluntly. “I have to stu--
“Study with Carina,” she finished my sentence. “Typical.”
“Glad you're so understanding,” I said. I quickly went through the kitchen to get breakfast for Lucas before I could get too annoyed with my sister. When I got back to my room and found Lucas still sleeping, I felt guilty all over again, about waking him up...until I reached to shake him awake. I was alarmed at how hot his body felt. Sure, his body was always warmer than most humans—Akira had said that was normal when I asked him about it. But this was different; it felt like I could fry an egg on his stomach. My heart sank; within one second I dropped everything I was holding and within the next, I was on the phone.
I was expecting Yume Yamakage to answer or some other employee, but to my surprise, I was hearing Akira's voice on the other end.
“It's an emergency!” I said without thinking.
“Miguela?” Akira asked. “What's the matter?”
“I think Lucas has a fever and I don't know what to do!”
“Well, first off, calm down,” he said in a more gentle voice. My panic was rising and I guess it was showing in my voice. “Second off, have your checked his temperature?”
I immediately felt stupid. That should've been the first thing I did! I quickly ran into the bathroom and grabbed the thermometer out of the cabinet. The fact that Lucas was burning hot was the only indication something was even wrong. He still looked deep asleep with his chest rising and falling. I slid the thermometer in his mouth and it registered 105.6 degrees.
“Yep, he has a fever,” I said, resigned. As I looked at him, I saw that he wasn't as peaceful as I thought he was. His high body temperature was definitely making him uncomfortable and I felt terrible for him. “So what do I do?” I hoped whatever it was wouldn't be too complicated.
“Do you have any Lum Berries?” he asked me. “I know it's a long shot...”
“Actually we do,” I sad. “My mom bought them yesterday thinking Lucas could use them.” I made a mental note to thank my mom when she came back upstairs.
“Good!” said Akira. “You can crush those up and feed them to him. Lum Berries are awesome like that—they're good for a lot of different things. You should give him a cool bath and makes sure he has plenty of water. Oh, and a cool wash cloth across his forehead or belly wouldn't hurt either. His fever should break in an hour or two and he should be fully recovered by the time school ends. If he doesn't or gets worse, call back.”
I was silent as those words sunk in... “Akira, that means I'll have to miss school! I can't do that.”
I regretted those words immediately.
“...Are you serious right now?” The disgust in Akira's voice made me cringe. “It's only a simple fever. Sacrificing one of your precious school days won't kill you.”
“But...” I started.
“Alicio and I will make sure to take good notes for you,” he said sardonically.
“But the test is tomorrow and I was studying with...” I was about to mention Carina's name but thought better of it. I was not in the mood to hear Akira trash my best friend.
There was silence on the other end for what felt like ages. Only background noise told me that Akira was still on the line.
When he finally spoke, his voice was like acid that could've eaten through steel. “Miguela you've come a long way from being a spoiled little brat so don't relapse now. Get your priorities straight.”
“My priorities are fine! I just realize how important it is to be at school...” I said as I found myself losing my defiance as quickly as it rose up. “And I'm not a spoiled...” My voice trailed off and I couldn't continue. I could feel my throat get tighter.
“I honestly can't believe your right now,” he said. “You're so selfish and self-centered! How can you even think about school when Lucas is sick?”
I couldn't even answer him. To say I was speechless wouldn't have done this feeling any justice. It was like I lost the ability to speak completely.
“So you don't have anything to say? Fine,” Akira said after that momentary silence. “I thought having Lucas around would truly change you. Clearly I was wrong. Just don't let your attitude rub off on Lucas. He doesn't need any more negative energy in his body.”
“Akira, no, I--” I heard the simple boop that told me he had hung up on me.
I took one look at my phone and then threw it on my bed. I felt hot because my mix of emotions: Sadness that Lucas was sick, anxious that I was missing school, guilt that I was even thinking about school now, and now hatred because of Akira's words. He was right of course—except about that part where he said Lucas hadn't changed me. I was being horridly selfish right now. So I didn't have any reason to be so angry with Akira, right? But I was mad at him and I couldn't help it. My eyes began to sting because of the effort of holding back my tears.
My sister stuck her head in my room which startled me. I had completely forgotten that she hadn't left yet. “Hey, is everything all right? Why haven't you left yet?” she asked.
My eyes were burning worse than ever. “Lucas has a fever so I'm staying here to take care of him,” I said quietly to keep my voice from breaking.
Miranda gasped and rushed over to Lucas. She put her hand to his stomach. “Wow, he really is burning up. Poor thing! Did you call Akira yet?”
The mere mention of his name made me want to cry even more. His words kept echoing in my mind. “Yes, I called...”
“Hey, don't cry!” Miranda said gently. “I'm sure—no, I know Lucas will be fine.”
I didn't dare tell her the real reason why I was upset. Her words would be just as harsh, if not harsher. “Yeah, I know. He should be all better by the time you get home today.”
“Aww, I almost want to stay and help you take care of him,” Miranda said. “I would definitely love to stay out of school—especially for a good cause.”
I managed to choke out a laugh. “Thanks for the offer but you need to go to school. The rest of your group is waiting for you.”
“Don't remind me.”
Another forced laugh. “Hey, could you tell Mom what happened on your way out? I want to go ahead and crush these Lum Berries for Lucas now.”
“Oh, definitely,” Miranda said. It was nice that I could get her to do what I wanted if Lucas was involved.
Almost as soon as I heard the front door shut, Lucas let out a pitiful whimper. I knelt down beside his little bed. He opened his eyes and smiled slightly when he saw my face. My heart melted once again. It also made me feel even more guilty about thinking about school when he was in this condition.
“I can't believe you're just now waking up,” I said in a small voice. I put my hand on his paw. “I'm sorry you have a fever, Lucas. I'm going to go crush some Lum Berries to help you feel better.”
At the word berries, he made to get up but I stopped him.
“No, no you stay in bed,” I told him. “You need your rest, Lucas.
For once he didn't protest and he laid back down. Before I could leave the room, I saw my phone glow. Immediately my heart sank to my stomach. It was Carina calling—I didn't even have to look to know. I wanted so badly to be able to ignore her phone call but I couldn't. Not that it would do any good anyway. I may as well face the music now.
“H-hello,” I said shakily.
“Uh, where are you?” Carina asked bluntly.
My nervousness took over and I started talking too fast. “I won't be able to come to school today.”
“What did you just say?” said Carina in a voice colder than Veilstone's weather.
I swallowed hard. “I said I won't be able to come to school today...because Lucas is sick.”
“That Pokemon?” said Carina. “You're missing school for that thing? I knew that thing was nothing but a distraction! We have a test tomorrow and you're blowing off school. I thought you were better than Alicio, but clearly I was wrong.”
But I missed the rest of what she said because I was feeling something I've never quite felt before. I know she didn't just call Lucas a thing. My sweet Riolu was sick and she called him a thing. Yes, Carina is my best friend, but that crosses the line. I felt the tears in my eyes, but this time they weren't tears of anguish...She's the only thing who's a distraction. She was distracting me from taking care of Lucas. I stomped into the kitchen to get those Lum Berries, but I wasn't done with this conversation.
“No, wait Carina,” I interrupted her. “Lucas is most certainly not a thing. I adore him and I've been doing just as well in school as I did before. Actually I'm doing better. If you recall, I tied with you on the last test and beat you on another—and I had Lucas both times.”
“Once again, both of those times were flukes,” Carina said dismissively.
“I'm getting a little tired of hearing that,” I told her as I took the Lum Berries out of fridge and slammed it shut. “Those were not flukes, Carina. But let's get back to the subject, shall we? Don't you dare ever call Lucas a thing again!” I ripped open the dishwasher and took out a mixing bowl and slammed it on top of the island in the middle of the kitchen.
“You know what? I don't have to take this” Carina said. “Just don't come crawling back when you do badly on this test tomorrow.”
“Oh believe me, I won't!” I said. “First off, I'm going to do fine tomorrow. No scratch fine. I'm going to be amazing. Second off, I crawl to no one.”
A short pause. “So does that mean our friendship is over?” Carina said.
On any other day, that question would've made me pull up short, but not this time. “Only if you let it be over, Carina. But I won't tolerate you disrespecting Lucas anymore. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a sick friend to take care of.”
Before she could say another word, I hung up. I dropped my phone on the counter and didn't take a second look. I was still furious, but I liked the feeling. All of the emotions I felt over what Akira said had been replaced by anger over Carina's words. I could've use an appliance to crush the berries, but I needed some way to release my anger. As I mashed those Lum Berries to a pulp with meat tenderizer, I made a vow to myself then and there. I was going to beat Carina on the test tomorrow. I was going to show her.
When I was done with the berries, I got a spoon and took the bowl back to my room. Lucas was looking a little tired still, but he still looked concerned.
“Riolu?” he asked me. I knew he was worried about that phone conversation...
“No, no, don't worry about me,” I said gently. “I'm the one taking care of you. I'm sorry I took so long.” I scooped up a spoonful of the crushed berries. “Now open wide!”
He eagerly (for a sick Pokemon anyway) did so. Apparently the Lum Berries were good because he certainly had a big appetite for them. I was afraid he was going to swallow the spoon. For that I was grateful. I would've had a much harder time trying to force feed him.
“I'm glad you're eating well,” I said as I grinned. “You know, Lucas...I'm sorry for all those times I didn't stand up for you in front of Carina. I won't make that mistake again.”
“Rio!” Lucas said with as much cheer as he could muster.
And with that I thought about all those times Riolu felt uncomfortable around Carina. At first I was afraid she would find out about him and what she would think of me. I remember the close call at the store that one time she and her mother dropped by without warning. I was hoping against hope that Lucas wouldn't come out. And the night she did find out about him, I was terrified. All those times I just thought Carina was making him uncomfortable, but now I realized I played a part. Instead of being myself around him, I was always so scared of Carina's disapproval. Lucas had to notice that. In effect, I had put Carina's feelings above his...
“Lucas, I don't deserve you,” I told him as I fed him another spoonful of crushed berries.
He tilted his head as though he had no clue to what I was talking about.
“No really. I was constantly concerned about what Carina and everyone at school would think about me having you,” I confessed. “I was so stupid. At first I even thought you were a distraction, but I was wrong. You've made my life so much better. I couldn't imagine you not being here. I only hope I can do that much for you.”
Lucas looked slightly confused through most of the conversation but then he smiled. If he weren't sick he would've jumped up and given me a hug. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to, but his body just wouldn't let him. Instead he raised his arms feebly for a hug.
“Aww, thanks!” I said as I leaned down to hug him. I couldn't help smiling “You really do know how to cheer me up...”
After that I fed him more berries. I glanced at the clock on my desk; was it really only 9:30am? The morning already felt extremely long. Waking up for school seemed like it was hours and hours ago. I guess I did just go through a lot considering I went from looking forward to hanging out with Carina to being extremely angry at her. As for Akira? All I could say is that I was glad for the wake-up call...that didn't mean I liked it though. Just then, I heard the door open and then close.
“Miguela?” My mom called.
“I'm in my room feeding Lucas!” I said back.
She stepped into my room wearing an anxious expression. “How is everything?” she asked.
I put my hand on Lucas's chest. He was still pretty warm, but he looked a lot better. “He's fine for now. I'm just waiting for the Lum Berries to take effect.”
My mom looked impressed. “It certainly looks like you're handling this situation pretty well.”
“It feels like I've been through a hurricane though,” I admitted.
“Caring for a sick loved one is always rough,” Mom said as she took a seat on my bed. “It reminds me of when you got sick for the first time. Level-headed I was not.”
“It wasn't Lucas who made this morning an absolute roller coaster though...” I began. I broke down and told her about the two conversations I had with Akira and Carina. Normally I wouldn't have dared mention Carina to my mom voluntarily like this, but I was still upset with her. I didn't really care what my mom had to say about her, but I did want to vent a little. “And that's how crazy my morning has been so far.”
“Well, I'm glad to see you didn't give in to Carina,” she said proudly. “She must get her tendency to overstep her bounds from her mother. Honestly, maybe if she cared for anyone other than herself she'd understand. But going back to Akira...wow, he's really blunt.”
“That he is,” I sighed as my mind replayed the conversation.
“Just be sure you don't let him walk all over you either,” Mom said. “He reminds me of this one friend I had when I was in high school. Sure she had good stuff to say, but she had such a bad attitude about it that everyone just stopped listening. No one likes a patronizing person after all.”
Lucas gave a small burp which made me smile. “Thanks, Mom. I'll keep that in mind,” I said.
Mom stood up and stretched. “Well, I have to get back down to the store. But if you need anything, let me know.”
“I will,” I promised her.
After my mom left, I decided to give Lucas a cool bath as Akira suggested. Bath time was usually fun, but Lucas just wasn't into it today. Although he certainly looked better than he did when I woke up, Lucas still had very little energy. It was the fastest I've ever gotten him bathed but it made me sad. At least the water was soothing to him though.
When we finished bathing him, I put Lucas back into his bed where he fell asleep. Per Akira's words, I put a cool washcloth on his head. Then I changed out of my uniform and into sweats since it was unlikely that I was leaving the house anyway. After that there wasn't much left for me to do except check on Lucas periodically. Looks like today wouldn't be a total academic loss after all; I pulled out my laptop and started studying for the test tomorrow. Teachers at Veilstone High always posted lesson plans and homework on the website. I'd leave the homework until after Akira and Alicio brought me notes for the day.
You know what? I was pleasantly surprised at how peaceful the day was. Sure I had my weekends off, but there was something about leisurely studying that was so relaxing. Or maybe it was because I stood up to Carina. It could even be the fact that I didn't realize how much I was pushing myself. Whatever the reason, I was certainly calmer than I was this morning. To cap it off, Lucas's temperature returned to normal even sooner than I expected. When he woke again, he was back to his old cheerful self. It was a massive relief—he was downright pitiful when he was sick. Of course I was elated. I decided to take a study break to play with him for a bit when I heard the front door open—my sister was back. Lucas bolted downstairs to greet her and when I followed him, I was surprised to find Akira there as well.
“Wow, Lucas!” Akira said. “You look great! Good job nursing him back to health, Miguela.”
“I couldn't have done it without you,” I said. There was no denying that fact. “In more ways than one...”
“Yeah, about that,” said Akira sheepishly. “I'm sorry if I was harsh earlier. Quinn and Alicio told me I could've been a bit more gentle in this case.”
“I did need to hear it though,” I said with a small laugh. “Even if it did upset me at first.”
Akira smiled but he didn't say anything. My sister looked between us curiously likely because she wanted to know the context of the conversation. I wasn't throwing her a bone though; I acknowledged that Akira's words were like bitter medicine that makes you feel better but that didn't mean I wanted to relive the experience. To my surprise, Akira didn't humor my sister either; usually he would seize an opportunity like that. Though just in case he changed his mind, I kept talking.
“So did I miss anything at school?” I asked him.
“Not a lot,” he told me. “At least it's nothing you can't handle.” He hesitated for a second. “But there is something else: Carina.”
In the excitement of Lucas getting better, I had forgotten about Carina. It all came back to me though. Akira didn't have to say anything else because I already knew what happened. “So the whole school knows I took a day off to take care of Lucas and Carina made it look like I played hooky?”
“Exactly right,” Akira said. “I kindly told her that you had your priorities straight, but she just gave me the usual 'Veilstone Standards' speech. I swear that's all she can say...”
Miranda rolled her eyes. “Ugh, why don't you dump that hateful witch once and for all?”
“After the fight this morning, I doubt we're friends,” I said. Any other time those words would've freaked me out, but not now. She had already turned on me, so I really couldn't care less because it was pointless.“She called Lucas a thing,” I began as I relayed everything that went down between Carina and me. Miranda and Akira looked nothing short of impressed.
“Looks like Carina needs to stop calling people and Pokemon things,” Akira joked. “First Quinn and now you!”
“Hey, that's right!” I said. “I don't know how but I completely forgot about that.” Maybe it was the blind fury I felt at the time or something. Either way it was cool to see that we both used the situation to shut Carina down. The only real difference was I have a lot more to lose and Quinn had everything to gain. And with that I began to feel doubtful for the first time. While I certainly didn't regret what I said, the gravity of my situation finally dawned on me...
“At any rate, I'm glad you stood up for Lucas,” Miranda said.
“Yeah me too,” Akira agreed. “But honestly I don't think your conscious would've let you excuse Carina. You love Lucas too much for that.”
At those words, Lucas gave me another hug. It didn't make my new-found uneasiness go away, but it still felt good. I wasn't deluding myself though.
“I'm going to need that vote of confidence over the next few days,” I told them. “Because Carina isn't done with me yet...and it won't be pretty.” I added in a more subdued voice.
But Akira just laughed. “Didn't we go through this before? I mean, come on, what's the worst that she can do?”
So even after watching what Quinn went through, he still doesn't realize what we high school girls are capable of doing to each other? “Oh trust me,” I said. “I'm on shaky ground right now. In fact. I'm going to check the Black Hole later because it may have already started.”
“Hmph, some friend she's being right now,” my sister muttered.
“She just--” I began but I stopped when I realized I was about to defend her yet again. Not this time. “Yeah, she's just being horrible.” I hoped neither of them noticed the hesitation.
“Finally you agree with us,” Akira said as he stretched. “And with that, I need to get back to the daycare. Here's the homework and the notes we took.”
I started my work as soon as he left. Akira and Alicio had even managed to get notes for the classes they didn't have with me. That was great of them I must say. Overall, there really wasn't all that much tonight—presumably so we'd have more time to study for our tests tomorrow. While I'd got a good bit of studying done earlier, it wasn't as much as I would've done at school so I'd be up late yet again. But I can't complain much. Lucas was all better now, so how could I be mad? I took a break only to eat dinner with my family.
No, I hadn't forgotten to check the Black Hole, but I did get a friendly reminder from Amaranth. I got her text at about quarter to eleven telling me to look. My heart started beating much faster and my breathing got shallower. The sensation was somewhere between drinking too much coffee and being cornered in a dangerous situation. I felt numb as I logged in...and when I saw the front page it felt as though a brick had slid down into my stomach.
There was a large picture of me with a caption that said “Where's Miguela???” And under it people were allowed to speculate on why I wasn't at school. I think only one person gave me the benefit of the doubt and wondered if I was sick or that something had happened with my family. Everyone else immediately accused me of ditching school in order to get more time to study for the test.
People at other schools wouldn't get it. This is one of the reasons we care so much about attendance. Ditching school the day before a test was a massive offense at Veilstone High. You had to be seen with near perfect attendance while being able to keep up with everything. You shouldn't need to take a day off to catch up or get more time. This morning I wouldn't have believed I would be the target of this because of my reputation for being one of the best. Well, Carina put the brakes on that one big time. The next few days were going to be awful if I had this to look forward to. How was I going to be able to answer to anyone?
~ ~ ~
For the first time since that occasion in kindergarten when all the boys accused me of having cooties, I didn't look forward to going to school. The brick from the night before was still there. In fact, it felt even heavier than before. Lucas was up before I was (I was pleased to see that) and was gazing out of the window—mesmerized by the snow yet again. I wonder if he'll ever grow tired of seeing it. He rushed over once he heard I was awake and jumped on my bed.
“I'm glad you're feeling better,” I said as I smiled in spite of myself. “Although honestly I wouldn't complain about staying here an extra day.”
At the words 'staying here,' Lucas looked hopeful and gave me his usual puppy dog eyes.
I frowned slightly “Not a chance. There's a test coming up and I have to go. Besides, I'll only make things worse for myself if I'm absent again. Can you imagine what everyone would say?”
Lucas looked at me with a puzzled look on his face as though he couldn't imagine what everyone would say. I patted him on the head and got up to get dressed. Throughout my morning routine I was debating whether I should check the Black Hole again or not. I was almost certain that people had posted more stuff and the thought of it made me feel sick and even more uneasy than I already did. I held my laptop in my hands for a few seconds before I finally decided not to check. I put my laptop in my bag. I would find out soon enough once I got to school.
Considering the state of my stomach, it was needless to say that I wasn't hungry. Fortunately for me, Lucas had already left my room and my sister fed him breakfast. That worked out very well because I didn't want to have to stand around awkwardly while I waited for him. However there was no avoiding my parents' inquisition.
“Miguela, you have to eat something,” said my mother. “Don't you have a test today?”
“Yes, but I take the test after lunch, so it's fine,” I said listlessly.
My dad frowned. “You don't look well. Are you sure you're all right?”
“Yes, yes,” I repeated with a trace of irritation this time.
They weren't buying it an instant, but they backed off anyway. I would have to face them at some point though; they weren't going to let me off the hook when they knew something was wrong. Luckily my sister also kept silent so I didn't look even more suspicious than I already did. I said a hasty good-bye—I couldn't get out of my house fast enough. I hated being anxious because it was making me so jumpy. Lucas somehow sensed it and didn't wander around too much. Instead he stayed by my side as his way of showing some solidarity. I certainly appreciated the gesture.
On the way to the Yamakage's I was hoping with every fiber of my being that Akira was there. I needed someone aside from Lucas and my sister who was on my side in this. Also, I couldn't bear the idea of walking into school alone. I would get my wish. As soon as I walked in, I spotted Akira who was already dressed for the cold weather in his hat, scarf, and heavy woolen coat. He raised his eyebrow in surprise at seeing me.
“You're here early,” he said.
“Yeah...I wasn't hungry so I skipped breakfast,” I blurted out. My eyes were downcast as soon as I went silent again. Before I did anything else, I checked Lucas in as normal, knelt down to hug him, and sent him away with Yume. He was looking back at me the entire time with his eyes full of concern until they finally where out of sight. I closed my eyes and I felt my resolve slip away. To my surprise, Akira didn't say anything. And it wasn't a silence of compassion either. I was shocked when I looked into his eyes; was it my imagination or was he actually annoyed with me?
He held the front door open for me, and we stepped outside into the chilly air. We had reached the intersection before he finally spoke again. “So I'm guessing they did make fun of you last night.”
“Yes, they did,” I said. “Akira, this is terrible and I feel like things are about to get much worse. It feels like someone has twisted my stomach into knots.” I was hoping that by telling him how horrible I felt, he would take me seriously. But I was wrong about that. I was right about him being annoyed with me though....
At my words he finally lost what little patience he had. “Oh for goodness sakes,” Akira said. It was like he was working hard to keep himself from rolling his eyes. “So Carina made one of those moronic websites about you. People talk for a while, and they stop. Yeah I bet it sucks but I don't see the big deal. It's certainly a stupid thing to make yourself sick over!”
“Akira...you just don't get it!” I protested. “This is more than just a slam web page! You didn't actually see what those people wrote. My reputation is on the line here!”
But Akira only laughed at me. A horribly mocking, cruel laugh. “You. Are. Hilarious. Miguela. Somehow I doubt one day out of school somehow affected the cosmic balance of your life. Please, can you get over yourself for a moment?”
At this point I regretted even hoping I'd run into Akira. His utter dismissiveness hurt just as much as my classmates' jeers in the Black Hole. And to my dismay, while I was definitely angry at Akira now and wanted to chew him out too, it only felt like I was going to cry. In that moment I wanted to get as far away from his as possible. He must have known it to because he grabbed my arm to keep from running.
“Miguela, are you seriously upset right now?” he said in an incredulous tone.
But I snatched my arm away. “Don't touch me!” I snarled. And before he could stop me again. I was off and running. Any tears that fell were warm for a second and then froze dry on my face. Instead of just running directly to school, I decided to take a detour to clear my head (and to lose Akira). I finally stopped running and contemplated everything that was happening. My reputation was still damaged, Carina had completely turned against me, and then Akira decided to be a jerk instead of a friend. And here I was believing he would sympathize and say that it was stupid for everyone to crucify me over this. So much for that...
Eventually I had to face the music, so I got off my detour and went to school. My tears were long dry by that point but I wiped my face anyway to remove all evidence. Yes, I feared for my reputation but there was no way I was giving anyone the satisfaction of seeing me upset. I was going to go full Migeula mode and be as cool and put together as I possibly could. Today and possibly the rest of the week and beyond were going to be terrible and I had to put up my walls. No one else would see me crack.
And sure enough when I started seeing groups of VHS students, people none too subtly turned to their friends and whispered stuff as I walked by. It was designed to unnerve me and I have to admit, that for a brief second, I considered checking The Black Hole again to see exactly what was said, but I decided against that in an instant. Again, no sense in making that brick that's still in my stomach heavier, right? Not to mention that from the snide remarks I could already guess what was said. Here's a sample:
“Hey, Miguela! I hope you enjoyed your day off yesterday...I didn't think someone of your caliber would need one.”
“Looks like our ambassador can't handle the pressure after all.”
“Even if she does do well today it doesn't matter because she had extra time to study that the rest of us didn't.”
Don't respond Migeula, don't respond. I said to myself over and over again. I've seen this sort of thing happen before. It didn't matter what you actually said because it would be used against you. There was this one incident last year in which this girl had been suspected of cheating. While she was ultimately innocent, every time she defended herself everyone took it as a joke or believed she was lying. I know I did. It didn't even matter that she didn't do it because the stigma of her even being suspected was so damaging. I guess I was getting my comeuppance for that.
More than anything, I now wanted to see Alicio and Quinn, but I couldn't because Akira would be there. And honestly Alicio would probably be on Akira's side on this one and that was more than I could take. I just walked to the library and resolved to be alone. I pulled out my laptop and tried my best to focus on reviewing my work. Every so often I would have to swallow to dislodge the lump in my throat to keep from crying. I honestly don't know how I was going to face the rest of the day...and that's when the text messages started.
My phone vibrated three times in a row before I could even pick it up. Whoever it was had sent me a novel via text. My heart dropped. I knew it was Carina before I could even look at the message. And like a train wreck I couldn't stop watching, I couldn't not read this:
So you're hiding from me now. Fine, fine. I always knew you were a spineless coward and now the whole school knows it too. You can keep using the excuse that your Pokemon was sick all you want, but I know what you're up to. The times you beat me or tied with me really were flukes and this proves it without a doubt. You're nothing but a fraud and a weak little girl and you certainly can't hold a candle to me. I don't take kindly to little girls crossing me and saying what you said to me yesterday. And I don't take kindly to people like you who make a mockery about what this school is all about. I promise you I will destroy both you and Akira. Oh...and by the way you can kiss your ambassadorship role good-bye. I should have more than enough signatures to get you removed. It's bad enough we have Akira representing us, but at the very least we can get rid of you. I can speak for myself and others that we don't want someone like you representing us.
My ambassadorship...that's what this would cost me. I couldn't believe this was happening right now. This time I was right and Akira was wrong. Missing one day did affect me greatly because it cost me the respect of everyone who believed I had it together. And before I could put my phone back in my bag, it started vibrating again and again and again and again. I read the first message which was from a number I didn't know and it said “How could you betray our reputation like this?” It was then that I realized that Carina had posted my phone number in The Black Hole as well; I was going to get flooded with text messages...I turned my phone off.
I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip but that didn't stop my eyes from burning something fierce. Just be strong Miguela, you still have that test. But my thoughts were just racing. I could focus on this test but what did it matter? People are still going to think I cheated and skipped school to study so who cares how I do? No! It doesn't matter what they think! I can't sabotage myself like that...
The floor of the library was carpeted and the walls weren't hard enough either so I took my phone to the bathroom. I checked to make sure it was empty which it was. I threw my phone as hard as I could toward the wall and watched the screen and the back shatter. Pieces of it littered the floor. Now I would never see those horrible messages. I cleaned up the mess and took what was left of my ruined phone in my coat pocket. Honestly I was surprised I didn't find a nasty note written on a post-it when I got back to my stuff. I spent my remaining minutes in the library trying to study until the bell finally rung.
My paranoia was running wild because I kept imagining people sneaking peeks and laughing at me. It was all in my head of course; since I was still in full Miguela-mode, I held my head high to prove that no one was getting to me. Everyone around me was going about their daily business without taking so much as a backward glance at me. I regained some measure of comfort from that, but it all faded when I stepped into homeroom. Everyone who was in the room turned to look at me with accusatory expressions—all except Carina, Akira, and Alicio. Carina gave me her famous death glare and Akira shook his head as he smirked. Only Alicio looked concerned...I avoided his gaze because it might cause me to crack. I don't think I said a word the entire time; I just focused entirely on studying.
Quite frankly it was the longest school day I've ever had. Nothing I had experienced up to this point could really compare. Throughout all of my classes I had to endure the same sort of stuff from earlier this morning: people saying I wasn't as good a representative of the school as they thought I was and that they were so disappointed in me. Several times I just wanted to cry but I willed myself not to.
This must've been what Quinn went through. I felt really bad then, but I thought back to all those other times when I didn't feel bad. Up until Quinn's situation, I'd laugh and say some really mean things to unlucky people who were Black Hole fodder...the girl whose father lost his job, the boy who found himself struggling at the end of last year and burst into tears during a final, the girl with the shabby clothes and uneducated parents, and so many others. I ripped them to shreds in school and online all for the sake of my image and upholding the Veilstone High standard.
The way I was feeling now was how they felt. So in the middle of my fourth period Pre-Cal class, I bit my lip hard to keep from breaking down. In addition to feeling awful about what I was going through, I also felt complete and utter disgust for my past actions. Honestly it was a miracle I remembered anything about the lesson. With SAT prep as my last class of the day, the chances of me doing well were very grim.
Only Alicio tried to help. I had two classes with him; Pre-Cal and English. Since it was a test day, I ended up skipping lunch and I opted to be alone so we didn't get to see each other then. Even so, in both classes we had together, he asked me if I was all right. Both times I lied and Alicio knew it. He looked torn between wanting to pry and just leaving me be, so he compromised.
“Hey,” he said after our English class dismissed. “Do you mind meeting after school near the greenhouses? I just...”
Alicio didn't need to give me a reason. I didn't need one because just the prospect of having an ally in this situation made me feel better. “Sure! Sounds good.” I even managed to give a small smile.
Meanwhile Akira (who I also had those same two classes with) brushed passed us without saying a word. I caught a brief glance at his face—he probably thought we were all stupid: the rest of the student body for being so high-strung and me for still feeling bad. Alicio glared at Akira's back before turning back to me.
“Well, we need to get to our next classes,” he said with a slight hint of reluctance. “So I'll see you later...”
I really didn't want to leave him, but nevertheless, we went our separate ways. I should count my blessings that I didn't have classes with Carina this semester. It was ironic now considering I was bummed about it when we first got our schedules. Biology passed by in a blur although I remembered that we discussed the circulatory system—specifically the different veins and arteries. Before I knew it, it was time for SAT Prep and the big test.
Before I started the test, I took a deep breath to help empty my mind of distraction and fill it up with math formulas, vocabulary and whatever else I'd need. The tense testing atmosphere helped big time and soon found myself able to focus as though my life weren't ruined. Despite having less time to study overall, I didn't have any trouble answering questions although I was slow on some of the math problems. I finished with a respectable amount of time left, but not as much as usual. I took another deep breath.
But my day wasn't over yet. As I was about to leave class, the teacher pulled me to the side and told me the principal wanted to see me. Uh oh doesn't even begin to describe my feeling just then. Could this situation possibly get any worse?
Yes, yes it could.
The heavy feeling in my stomach returned in force as I made my way to the principal's office. What on earth did she want with me? After checking in at the receptionist's desk, I found myself in the doorway of Dr. Olivia Cromwell's office. The look on her face was so stern it was shocking. I swallowed hard.
“Please sit down, Ms. Cruz,” she said curtly.
I obliged and lowered myself into one of the handsome leather chairs. Besides I wasn't sure how long my knees with support me anyway; my knees had turned to jello.
“I trust you know why I called you here.”
The statement only had the effect of making me feel silly because I truthfully didn't know. “With all due respect, I don't know why I'm here, Dr. Cromwell.” I said stiffly.
Dr. Cromwell was an interesting paradox. Although she was beautiful with her dark red hair and brown eyes and had a soft, welcoming face, her demeanor and aura let you know she was no one to cross. Her expression hardened at my words. “I'm not sure if I should hold that against you or not in light of your present circumstances but I know you are not this oblivious Ms. Cruz.”
I remained silent and tried to make myself look as innocent as I could while at the same time looking sharp and intelligent. However I was pretty sure I was failing and I could feel Dr. Cromwell lose confidence in me by the second. She sighed,
“Very well, Ms. Cruz, I'll get right to the point,” she said. “I wanted to discuss your dedication toward your position as the sophomore ambassador for this school.”
I restrained the shock and horror at her words before it could fully register on my face. Even so I was speechless—not that Dr. Cromwell was going to give me time to defend myself anyway.
“I hope you are aware of the seriousness of an unexcused absence. As an ambassador who is a representative of this school, we expect you to adhere to a higher standard. If you are having doubts as to whether you are capable, you should speak up now and we can replace you with someone who is dedicated. The students of this school deserve to have someone who they can respect represent them.”
At those words I was deeply wounded. But beneath the hurt came a different feeling: how dare you? How dare she question something that I did take seriously? And then I calmed myself down and thought about her words...looks like Carina had made good on her threat. “I see the petition reached you, Dr. Cromwell.”
“Yes it did and I was surprised at the intensity of the students' feelings on the issue,” she said.
“But I want to say something in my defense,” I said. While the rest of the school won't listen to what I have to say, Dr. Cromwell would. Besides, she may have rattled me from the shadows (I hadn't seen Carina all day), but she wasn't about to win now. “I've never once given anyone cause for concern. My grades have been consistently good and I've never made less than an A in my entire life. Even when I'm unable to attend school due to illness, I make sure that my work is still top-notch. Do you think I would really be absent from school without a care? Even if the school considers it an unexcused absence, I had a reason.”
“And what is your reason?” Dr. Cromwell.
“I had a sick friend, a Pokemon, who I had to nurse back to health,” I said boldly. “And even so, I made sure to study and do all of my homework.”
I expected her to rebuke me then and there, but to my surprise, she looked impressed. “Very well, Ms. Cruz. I examined your past record once I received the petition and I agree it would be hardly fair to suspend you after one infraction. Academics are not the only part of being an ambassador—knowing how to handle personal and public crises is another positive attribute to have. Trust me, the skill will come in very handy...”
And with that she gave me a slight head nod. Part of me was spectacularly relieved that I wasn't losing my ambassadorship, but there was another part of me that was a bit miffed that Dr. Cromwell had put me to the test like that. I realized that I was holding my breath and I exhaled. “Thank you, Dr. Cromwell.” Before I could leave her office, she spoke again.
“And congratulations on placing first with Mr. Yamakage,” she said with a small and rare smile.
I said thank you again and left her office. In better times, I would've been over the moon at getting first place.
First place! But with all the stuff that happened today from everyone's meanness to Dr. Cromwell's test, I was too mentally exhausted to be happy. Not to mention the victory still felt hollow. Everyone believed I had did what was tantamount to cheating to pull it off... My eyes started to sting again. In my sadness, I had almost forgotten that I was meeting Alicio. I rushed over to the greenhouses which were on the south side of the school.
When I arrived, I found Alicio at the entrance and to my surprise he wasn't alone. Quinn and the twins named Anastasio and Esmeralda Morales were with him. They all looked up and smiled when I approached—the only friendly faces I'd seen all day. But immediately they became anxious at the look on my face.
“Miguela?” Alicio said as he walked over to me.
And with that, the facade I had kept up all day cracked and slid away. I burst into tears and buried my face in Alicio's shoulder. Yes, my troubles were nothing on the cosmic scale and yes, worst things happened to people all the time, but that still didn't make this hurt any less. The guilt I felt over my past behavior had also come back. It felt like everyone in the school hated me, and yet here were four people who at least were glad to see me. Alicio led me over to one of the benches to sit down. I don't know how long I cried, and no one said anything the entire time. They just wanted me to let it all out...
When I did stop crying it wasn't because I wanted to, it just felt like I had run out of tears. I'm sure my face was ugly and splotchy but no one laughed at me when I looked up at them.
“Sounds like you had a long day,” Quinn said as she grabbed my hand.
“You aren't kidding,” I said through a stuffy nose. Esmeralda kindly handed me a handkerchief and I tried not to sound like a Mamoswine as I blew my nose.
“We've been worried all day,” Alicio said. “We waited for you at lunch, but--
“You wasted your study time worrying about me?” I said in shock.
“I wouldn't call it wasting,” Anastasio said. I think it was the first time we'd ever really spoken. “I was shocked by the stuff on The Black Hole so we all figured you needed the support.”
The others murmured agreements and I almost started crying again. People were willing to sacrifice for me...
“And Alicio and I tried texting you, but you never responded,” Quinn said. “It didn't dawn on us until later that you were probably getting harassing messages so you turned off your phone...”
“Well, I turned it off and then some.” I opened my bag and showed them the pieces to my ruined phone. “W-when I was in the library this morning Carina sent me a text saying that I was a coward and that she would destroy me. She also started the petition to get me removed as ambassador a-and then my phone started vibrating non-stop and I broke it so I would n-never see...”
Apparently my ducts had regenerated enough tears because I started crying again. Like last time, no one stopped me, but I pulled myself together. And before I knew it I started talking again and the story of my entire day, from Akira's coldness up to now, came spilling out. Quinn's and Anastasio's eyes were wide when I finished, but Esmeralda looked pensive and Alicio looked especially annoyed.
“I don't know who I'm more pissed at right now,” Alicio said. It's rare to hear that much venom in his words. “Akira for being a douche, Carina for being Carina, or this entire school for falling for Carina's manipulation. Actually I think I'm more upset with Akira.
Especially since we told him he shouldn't be so harsh yesterday.”
I'm not going to lie, but it felt good to hear Alicio bad mouth Akira like that. I was almost guilty about it...almost. I was honestly glad to have people on my side.
“It's so ridiculous though,” Esmeralda said. “You're one of the best students in our entire year and yet they do this to you for one little thing.”
“But I've always known that one little thing could cost you a lot,” I said. “Even though I placed first, it doesn't even feel like it means anything.”
“Now wait just a second, Miguela,” Alicio said. “This is Carina's favorite tactic again. You remember what she did when you were picked as ambassador over her, right?”
“She was just jealous and said it wasn't worth much,” I said, bitterly. I was annoyed with Carina all over again now that Alicio brought that up. And I realized she had done it again. I knew what I went through to get first place so why was I letting Carina empty my victory of its meaning? I smiled just a little which Alicio returned.
“Miguela, why do you think Akira gets away with defying everyone's standards and expectations, blatantly insulting Veilstone High every chance he gets, and yet still gets to represent the school?” Esmeralda asked.
I pulled up short at that question. Through my misery, I never thought of that. Akira does way more crazy stuff than I do and yet the entire school has never turned against him like this. I was about to dismiss it as a double standard until I thought about it. “Akira is very good at what he does and he knows it and flaunts it really. In comparison I'm an easy target.”
Exactly,” Esmeralda said. “Akira's confidence along with his intelligence allows him to get away with his boldness.”
“And no one has ever signed a petition against him. Why? Because they know it won't rattle him at all,” Anastasio said. “And don't forget, you're very good at what you do too, so there's no reason you can't be confident. You don't have to be an easy target.”
“Heck, I'm not exactly good at what I do, but confidence does go along way,” Quinn said with a huge grin. “Carina doesn't pick on me anymore. I mean, you stood up to her yesterday and you stood up to Dr. Cromwell. No reason you can't do it again.”
“They're right, Miguela,” Alicio said. “It's time for you to fight back...and I know you can do it.”
Starting with Akira, I thought to myself. My friends certainly had faith in me and it did make me stronger. “Thanks guys,” I said to them. “Things are going to be a little different tomorrow.
“I can't wait to see it,” said Anastasio as he stood up. “But we need to get to the library or we won't have time to watch the movies or look at the books for film class.
“Look at you being the responsible one,” Esmeralda said. “I'm honestly surprised.”
“Why? You can't be the only reliable one Miss Overly Serious,” he teased her and she promptly hit him in the back.
“We'll see you tomorrow,” said Quinn. She waved and walked away with the twins.
“I guess we should be going too,” Alicio said.
As we were walking, I decided to say what's been eating at me for the entire hour. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he said.
“Do you ever feel guilty about teasing people on the Black Hole?” I asked quickly.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Yeah, why?” And then realization dawned on his face. “Ooooh, so you felt that today as well.”
I just nodded.
“I understand.” he said. “When I started liking Quinn I got my first twinges of guilt. I mostly brushed them off at first but seeing her get hurt over it made me feel disgusted by everything I ever posted on it. I haven't been on it since.”
“I experienced firsthand what I did to people,” I said. “And having gone through it, I can't believe victims of it would turn right around and do it to someone else.”
“Twisted, isn't it?” said Alicio.
We continued to talk as we left school. Needless to say, I felt far better than I did this morning. Even so I had a rough day ahead tomorrow, but I looked forward to it. I made two vows to myself: the first was never to let Carina do this to me again, and the second was never going to the Black Hole ever again. Even the thought of those two things made my heart lighter as I headed toward to the Yamakage's daycare to pick up Lucas.