It's always kind of hilarious looking back on this thread several generations later and seeing which species people wanted a Pokémon representative for became a thing! Paldea introducing a dolphin (like half the universe has been clamoring for since gen I don't know what) and an ogre-faced spider (one of the things I mentioned in my old 2015 post), for one – and while I don't particularly enjoy the execution for either of them (Spidops is deeply underwhelming and the evolved form of the dolphin actively makes me want to break faces), at least they exist now!
And you know what? I'm about nine years overdue for a "Additional Species That Should Be Pokémon" post so buckle up, folks, it's time for another session of "Stel Gushes About Weird Biology":
The Scaly-Foot Gastropod (Chrysomallon squamiferum)
Okay, I know I said I'll lean into some tetrapods (or general vertebrates) in the 2015 post – and I will at some point in this post – but I cannot believe I have not flailed about these things in this thread because they are basically my top-tier "Nature Already Did a Pokémon Before Game Freak Did" species, so there you have it. And the reason they occupy this niche is becuase that these snails, are quite literally,
metal as fuck – they are only known living animals that incorporate iron sulfide into their bodies, and some populations of this snail are actually straight up
ferrimagnetic because of it. That's right. Move over, lobsters, for it is actually
snail that sticks to magnet. (... don't ask. This reference is older than most of you and was fairly obscure even then).
C. squamiferum here is (unsurprisingly) a deep-sea weirdo, living at depths of about 2,400–2,900 m around hydrothermal vents in the Indian Ocean – cracks in the seabed that constantly discharge very hot and mineral-rich water. Life around hydrothermal vents, naturally, requires all sorts of wild adaptations – like symbiotic relationships with chemosynthetic bacteria that can process all the toxic sulfides the vents belch out into a form of energy that the snail can use, and all sorts of protection from the rather hostile environment (becuase as if the heat and pressure weren't enough, many other creatures in hydrothermal vent communities are predatory and quite aggressive). So this thing opted to turn itself into a real-life godsdamned
Steel-type. Both the shell and those scales you see on its body have an outer layer of iron sulfide minerals which may provide both protection and a means to get rid of excess toxic sulfide compounds (science isn't entirely sure what the sclerites - those scales - are
actually for, but it appears that they also serve as surfaces for more symbiotic bacteria to cling to, which the snail may actually encourage!) That shell actually has three layers – under that iron-sulfide layer is a thick organic layer used to absorb mechanical stress and dissipate heat, and under that is a more standard calcium-based aragonite layer - there was some research about putting composite materials with a similar structure to use for both civilian and military purposes, though I'm not sure if anything ever came of it. They have all sorts of other weird adaptations that make them quite different from any other snail in existence, but that's beside the point. They are apparently also endangered because of
course they are, feckin' humans mining where they're not supposed to.
But on a less depressing note – There's definitely some potential for a Fire/Steel type here, a type currently only represented by a legendary Pokémon in the form of Dr. Wily's Abominable Magma Frog Heatran – and a very tanky one at that.
But yes! It's time we moved away from the invertebrates and moved on to something with some backbone. But we're not out of oceans yet... Because here comes-
The Frilled Shark (Chlamydoselachus anguineus)
This delightful murder noodle that looks like a weird-ass sea dragon is considered a 'living fossil' as the order it belongs to has been around for a long, long time and split off very early from the younger more well-known whippersnappers that most people would think of when they hear the word 'shark' - and it therefore maintained a wide variety of traits found in prehistoric sharks that are quite uncommon in the sorts of sharks you get nowadays. Unsurprisingly, these also tend to live in the deeper places of the sea – and while their bite is relatively weaker than that of their specced-to-use-Crunch bretheren, they have apparently evolved to hunt somewhat like cobras - coiling themselves to make quick strikes at prey and swallow it whole using its truly weird-ass back-facing teeth rows to rip into the unfortunate victim and keep it from escaping. Their mouth can apparently open wide enough for them to swallow things up to half their own damned size. They also have live young rather than lay eggs, and have a gestation period of up to 3.5 years (
Three and a half years... P R E G A N A N A N T ? ! ), but that's not relevant to their Pokémon potential.
While you'd definitely expect a shark (even a weird one) to be Water-type, I feel this thing would benefit from following the path that the likes of Eelektross took and be something else altogether, only
living in water. Hopefully it doesn't end up evolving into Shin Godzilla though - because one of the forms of THAT thing was
very clearly inspired by frilled sharks.
And here's a few more Lies and Fish™:
The Pacific Barreleye Fish (Macropinna microstoma)
You guessed it: Another deep sea weirdo. Barreleyes are aptly named: the lenses of their eyes - those green spheres in the photo - are mounted onto rotating tube-like structures which - while normally pointed upwards to survey the waters above - can rotate forwards to allow them a better field of view when trying to capture prey or avoid predators. These eyes are protected by a transparent canopy that makes them look like a weird submersible – or a jet fighter – and that has some MASSIVE Pokémon potential if you ask me.
Sea Robins (Family Triglidae)
Leave it to me to invoke
fish with spider legs.
Well, they're technically modified fin rays, but sea robins do indeed walk around on the sea floor with those as well as swim - and those modified walking rays also have chemical sensors on them that help them find food. They're related to scorpionfish and lionfish (come to think of it, lionfish could also make a neat Pokémon) and some species do have thorny plates for protection – and some even have venom glands around those thorns (though their venom is not nearly as potent as that of lionfish). They can also make odd croaking noises using a muscle that drums against their swim bladder.
"But can we make it weirder?" I hear you ask. Glad you did, because these things have even WEIRDER LOOKING RELATIVES:
This is one of several species of armored searobin, of the closely related family Peristediidae, and unsurprisingly they are deeper-water relatives of your more common sea robins - proving yet again that everything is weirder the deeper you get. They come with varying types of head adornments and honestly, heck if I know what those are actually for. These things are actually new to me, which is awesome because I did not expect to run into a new weirdo in the process of making this post!
And speaking of weird fish – last one for now, I promise, we'll be out of the water soon. But this one gets some airtime because it has one of the best names in the ocean.
The Sarcastic Fringehead (Neoclinus blanchardi)
"Stel, what is this muppet doing here?" I hear you ask "It doesn't look particularly weird or interesting or-"
"Oh because you are
sooo attractive and special.
What the [bloop] did you just [bloop]ing say about me, you little fish? I'll have you know-"
Sarcastic fringeheads can reach sizes of up to 30 cm in length - and they are one of the most territorial lil' bastards in their habitats (which, given the biological density and fierce competition in said habitats, they kind of have to be). Those huge frills are actually how they settle territory disputes - when a fringehead thinks another fringehead is getting a bit too close to its turf, the two will open their mouths wide and slam them together in what looks like a Yautja prom date, until one manages to fit their mouth over the other's - even a little bit - and get a bite in, demonstrating that it is the bigger fish of the two and sending the competitor packing.
Admittedly I have no idea what any of these weirdoes would be like as Pokémon and boy howdy do we have enough Water-types, but, y'know.
Biodiversity.
But yes let's get out of the sea now and move on to something else. Now. Pokémon aren't always modeled to be cool, or weird, and sometimes they can be just plain
silly, and there are few birds sillier than-
The Greater Sage-Grouse (Centrocercus urophasianus)
The greater sage-grouse is what happens when evolution wakes up one morning with the brilliant idea of taking a glorified chicken, giving it a fan of spiky feathers for a tail and a pair of sunny-side-up eggs for tits. And that's the male, of course - female birds tend to be more about blending in and less about being ridiculous drama queens with even more ridiculous decorations. These sacs on the male's chest are actually inflatable gular sacs, not unlike those of frigatebirds, but they look so much like a sunny-side-up egg that I cannot help but picture them serving as foundation for a chicken-and-egg sort of line. For extra hilarity, give it a giant frying pan...
... and that's already a lot more hours than I wanted to invest in this post, good grief. Next time (whenever that is)... I'll try to stay away from the ocean because that's a rabbit hole as big as arthropods is. >>
.
), but I mean a completely new pokemon, not a form.
