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Crush a wish!

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Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but it's Cerberus and you can't control it, so it pees fire all over your front lawn, and small children were playing in the lawn when the fire was peed on to it, and they all burned up. You go into manic depression, and commit suicide using a chicken's wishbone.

I wish that I had the best computer in the world. EVAH.
 
badly shaded

badly shaded

HHHAA!!! that wins i think

granted, but you spend so much time on it that your eyes burn up and you go insane, thinking that you can fly. you try and fly out of a plane and it doesn't end well...at all

i wish that my radiators were actually warm
 
Secad MS

Secad MS

Granted, but then you live in a bad area in a war-torn country. Be thankful for what you have!

I wish I could meet Bon Jovi.
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but to do that wings must be implanted into your back. While undergoing the srugery, one of the doctors forgot to sterilize a needle he used on an AIDS patient. After hearing that you got AIDS from a doctor, you shared this information with the wrong people, and people started thinking you were gay. Hate crimes were comitted against you an you die.

I wish that I was done with puberty already.
 
Secad MS

Secad MS

Granted, but then you age to 70+.

I wish I had electrokinesis.

(And if you say I shock and kill myself, I will set my Lv. 100 Empoleon on you! Or Fall Out Boy if he's sleeping.)

(My, that was random!)
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but you walk into a room, the lightbulb explodes, causing lacerations in the sternum. Instead of being taken to a hospital to be fixed, the doctors there are secretly game programmers, and record the exact details of your case to place into a video game. You start bleeding, but they use magic goo to heal you. You leave the hospital, ut while hailing a cab to go home, your arm is hit by a bus, and comes off. All of the doctors inside the hospital are busy playing the new doctor video game, and you bleed to death.

I wish that I had a ps3.
 
badly shaded

badly shaded

granted but they release a ps4 and you can no longer get games for a ps3

i wish that i could come up with things more imaginitive to say
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but I have no idea what that means, and you fall down on an anti-umbrakenisis stone and you loose your umbrakenesis.

I wish I knew what umbrakenesis was.
 
Secad MS

Secad MS

Granted, but they turn a really nasty earwax color. (Umbrakinesis is the power of control of darkness) (As in light/dark darkness.)

I wish I had hydrokinesis.
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but you cannot control the powers well. Water swarms to protect you everywehere you go against everything. You cannot even be touched without it protecting you. You are doomed to walk the earth forever, alone and untouchable. Until one day, when you meet someone with the same predicament. Your powers allow each other, and you fall into true love. But then, as you become closer, your emotions towards the person spike, and you accidentally end the realtionship permanently.

you are doomed to walk the earth for all eternity, depressed and alone. Until you become a clown. Then durring one your pie throwing routines, a pie is thrown at you, made of nuts. You are allergic to nuts, and have an allergic reaction. Luckily, a doctor is nearby, but he is high on drugs. He repeatedly stabs you with the needle until he hits the right vein. You live, but you must put bandaids on your wounds. You put the band-aids on, but one of them was not new and it had the blood of an AIDS patient on it. You contract AIDS, and die of a cold.

I wish I was the master of the internet.
 
badly shaded

badly shaded

granted but it turns out your worst enemy has hydrokinesis and attempts to kill you in the night, you wake up before you die a very slow and painfull death

i wish that i could write faster
 
Secad MS

Secad MS

(It's the control of rocks and stuff like that.)

Granted, but then you lose your 4.0 Ivy League GPA.

I wish I could get into any Ivy League college I wanted, graduate valdectorian, and get a good, high paying job.
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but then the job is too useless for you to possibly want, and you rip out your frontal lobe in a fit of absolute animosity. After ripping out your frontal lobe, you forget everything and walk around in a daze. You are then hit by a truck, and fly into a pile of frontal lobes, and one replaces your old one. But it was an Emo brain, and you commit suicide. And fail. You are then the laughinf stock of the Emo comumunity, and they all successfully sommit suicide, and you are alone. You die from lack of social interaction.


I wish y'all would stop wishing for control over random elements.
 
Secad MS

Secad MS

Granted, but then we wish to become gods.

I wish I was the immortal, eternally youthful (as in age 21 forever) goddess of animals, plants, food, fire, water and life.
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but then evreryone prays to you, and you start screaming about the voices in your head. You are locked up in an insane assylum, and every day you shove sporks down your shirt and take them back to your room. After a while, you have enough sporks, and build a death chamber from them. It fails, but you must be taken to a hospital. The doctors there fix you, and on your way out, you dive infront of a bus. You live, and then try to suffocate on a squirrel. You are saved by a pssing samaritan, and he then rapes and murders you.

I wish you guys would tell me if my posts are humorous or not.
 
Secad MS

Secad MS

Granted, but then we won't tell you when your posts are bad. (P.S I said I (goddess) was immortal!)

I wish I could totally control people.
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Ganted. I fall under your control, and so does Badly Shaded.

No one replies to your post. You die from waiting in front of your computer too long.

I wish I was really Godot from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations.
 
badly shaded

badly shaded

(lolz) granted but people find you extremely annoying and attempt to kill you. you die shouting 'objection' very loudly

i wish i could eat faster
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted. You attempt eating while playing Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney. You shout objection, and choke on your food, but you cannot stop eating, and soon food portrudes into your brain, and out your eyes. You die from a food OD.

I wish I had a french silk pie.
 
Secad MS

Secad MS

Granted, but then you die from an exploded stomach from eating a huge one.

I wish I was the fastest being in the universe
 
badly shaded

badly shaded

(LOLZ) granted but you are so fast that you can run up the sides of buildings, you get to the top of a skyscraper and fall off of it, you are saved by superman who has a heart attack in mid air, you fall 1782 feet onto britney spears and die.

i wish that what i just said made sense
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted, but then you have fundamentally change all of the writing, and the universe implodes within your heart, and you are forced to have heart attacks until the end of eternity inside a white void.

I wish I had a mac computer along with this one.
 
Kalseng

Kalseng

Granted. It starts on Saturday. You fail. At school. Miserably. You die of electrocution.

I wish I had a Baby Ruth (r) candy bar.
 
Mystic_Suicune

Mystic_Suicune

Granted, but everyone starts making drink related wishes.

I wish my computer would work so I wouldn't have to get on Pokecharms here at school or on my bro's computer.
 
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