A happenstance, rather than a preference... she supposed they were similar in that aspect. Until today Fin had never worked alongside anyone, never attempted to use her powers to support an attack given by another. Today was... a revolutionary one, to say the very least. Most enemies she fought- no, faced- no, ambushed (though even that did not sound right) were vulnerable on a much more detrimental scale to her attacks, and had flesh that knife's edge could slice and sting. There had been no reason before to seek aid in others, and perhaps that had bred within her the distaste she felt toward being beholden to a team. If she was part of a team, not all decisions made in her life would be her own. She'd no longer get to choose who she hurt and who she helped.
Intently, though she tried not to stare, Fin listened to his inquiry. From his hesitation only hours before she felt stupid for not having seen this question coming. Hazel eyes followed his gesture, settling upon the report. His words- and his question- implied her suspicions from moments before. This display had been his doing. She shook her head, something he'd likely catch out of his periphery- she had not known who he was. In the commotion of the battle, there had been hardly enough chance to form the link. But then, would that have mattered to her if she had known? Did it now?
Pen blurred as swift as she could manage with her handwriting remaining legible, Fin resolved not to think much about her answer. He'd asked her for honesty, and the least she could do was provide it. I didn't make the connection. But I don't think it would have mattered. There it was; in her rush, she'd answered her own internal question as well. Working alone is thankless. You saved my life and I knew I could help you too. You did a good thing for me there, in that moment, and that's all that matters to me.
Maybe that was selfish. But gratitude was so seldom given when saving others as an unseen force- how could she have passed up the opportunity to give someone that? Fin insisted internally that she never wanted gratitude, notoriety, or even recognition. Yet within her... did this show that she wanted the validation of thanks, sometimes? Thanks, for hurting people, for damaging their ears and minds, for bleeding them. Wasn't that horrible? On some level she could perhaps understand why he did not understand her motives. Fin was not sure she understood it either.
Shuzo had asked her for honesty, however- and that was what she had resolved to give him, what she had given him. So, sliding the notepad back over to him, she let her eyes fall upon her blood smeared hands, her cracked knuckles. Oh, if mother could see her now, what would she think? When she had last seen her, the only thing Fin had ever used her powers for was to hurt her. She'd barely changed, but would that wan glimmer of good aid her redemption?
Intently, though she tried not to stare, Fin listened to his inquiry. From his hesitation only hours before she felt stupid for not having seen this question coming. Hazel eyes followed his gesture, settling upon the report. His words- and his question- implied her suspicions from moments before. This display had been his doing. She shook her head, something he'd likely catch out of his periphery- she had not known who he was. In the commotion of the battle, there had been hardly enough chance to form the link. But then, would that have mattered to her if she had known? Did it now?
Pen blurred as swift as she could manage with her handwriting remaining legible, Fin resolved not to think much about her answer. He'd asked her for honesty, and the least she could do was provide it. I didn't make the connection. But I don't think it would have mattered. There it was; in her rush, she'd answered her own internal question as well. Working alone is thankless. You saved my life and I knew I could help you too. You did a good thing for me there, in that moment, and that's all that matters to me.
Maybe that was selfish. But gratitude was so seldom given when saving others as an unseen force- how could she have passed up the opportunity to give someone that? Fin insisted internally that she never wanted gratitude, notoriety, or even recognition. Yet within her... did this show that she wanted the validation of thanks, sometimes? Thanks, for hurting people, for damaging their ears and minds, for bleeding them. Wasn't that horrible? On some level she could perhaps understand why he did not understand her motives. Fin was not sure she understood it either.
Shuzo had asked her for honesty, however- and that was what she had resolved to give him, what she had given him. So, sliding the notepad back over to him, she let her eyes fall upon her blood smeared hands, her cracked knuckles. Oh, if mother could see her now, what would she think? When she had last seen her, the only thing Fin had ever used her powers for was to hurt her. She'd barely changed, but would that wan glimmer of good aid her redemption?