Hey, professional lurker here.
I find it fun to look back at stuff. Sometimes I’ll listen to old songs, play old games, look at old messages, etc. just to reminisce on when times were different. Not really better, not worse, just… different. I’m not sure if this kind of an obsession with nostalgia is unhealthy or irregular, but I think you get where I’m going with this.
Roleplays are some of the most fun things to look back on, for a few reasons. I enjoy looking back at how I spent and enjoyed the time, like with anything else. It’s also fun to remember what I was thinking at the time, something I especially enjoy about roleplays in particular: When I get into a roleplay, fast or slow, my mind is always racing with ideas for characters, arcs, posts, and sometimes just enjoying the concept in general. I remember my walks home when I would imagine scenes and soliloquies in my head, or brainstorm the appearances and mannerisms of a new character. I remember staring off into Chesapeake Bay, my mind less focused on the beach I was on during vacation and more on what I would post getting back to the hotel room. For me, It’s also a great way to gauge how far I’ve come, in both who I am and how I write. I was a much different person back then, and it shows in how my characters acted.
Three and a half years is a long time. 2019 was a year that’s several viruses, wars, heads of state, space telescopes, social movements, cryptocurrencies, and even monarchs of Britain away. High schoolers then are either in college or the workforce now—including myself. As I write this, I reminisce from my university dorm on those simpler times of leaving the windows open to let in the cool spring breeze, solving jigsaw puzzles next to cinnamon incense with my parents, and lurking around the library chessboard as the smell of coffee wafted through bookshelves. I was a teeny little freshman when a thread titled “Pokehuman Encounters” encouraged me to step out of just lurking Pokecharms and into creating an account. I was impressionable, judgmental, overly passionate about trivial things, and felt both inferior and highly superior at the same time—y'know, typical 15 year old stuff.
There's definitely a lot of my mindset back then that seeped into my writing, mainly in Reuben, the character I made for the roleplay. He was a kid dripping with sarcasm, through whom I injected a half-baked joke into every post, and who managed to evade all of the adversities everyone else faced for a good 40 percent or so of the roleplay. Reuben was a character I made almost as a way of showing self-awareness while writing, and as a way to almost display that I wasn't taking the roleplay fully seriously. Pokehuman Encounters was my first venture outside of the small Pokemon roleplay Discord I had exclusively used for a year and a half by that point, and to do so on a public forum felt like I was exposing myself. Have you ever watched or read something that you were deeply invested in, but felt weird doing it to the point of having to make fun of it as you went along? That may just be a me thing. I'm not sure about that. I promise I'm past it though.
Past the comic relief, I see some potential in Reuben I wish I had tapped into, and reflecting on that was probably the main point I decided to write this whole thing up. There were plenty of points where I could have chosen to ease up on the relentless barrage of puns I kept throwing around and allowed him a serious line of dialogue. His paranoia was one: Almost as soon as he joined the group he realized that there was little way of getting himself away from it. This was mentioned in one post and then effectively discarded. There was when he turned, once again panicking for one whole post and then reverting back to the same jokes he kept making. There was when he got caught by Eli, and when he stayed in his ball while Talia got caught, nearly feeling guilty for her capture before being told by his own Pokemon to just move on—which, of course, he promptly did.
There were so many in-character moments I could have used to help reveal the caring side of him I touted out-of-character that I didn't for some reason, and that remains my biggest regret from Pokehuman Encounters. I doubt I'll ever end up using Reuben again; his character was the kind that felt at home in only one roleplay, and one that needed a lot of time to flesh out that I doubt I'll ever get again. Who knows, though—recently his character has grown on me again, so I may end up finding some time and place to remaster his flawed character arc. Don’t count on it, though.
There was another character I used in that roleplay. One I only look back on with disgust and a "What were you thinking" sense of regret. It's Dmitri. Even during the roleplay I realized that I hardly had any enjoyment playing him: he was a flat, edgy, no-bite villain, and I have no intentions of bringing him back in any capacity, ever. It’s kinda funny: I used a static comic relief character in a place that could’ve used more seriousness, but completely glossed over the idea of a sarcastic villain. I tried to make amends for my bad “bad guy” in Antoine, an egotistical scientist hellbent on “improving” the world at the expense of its inhabitants, but after every roleplay I used him in quickly died I got the message and stopped. After four to six renditions of him, both on- and off-site, I got tired of the idea and moved on to greener pastures.
Despite my fatigue with Antoine and characters like him, I still enjoy rereading the old Encounters roleplays, seemingly moreso than anything else I was involved in. Though, in a way, I can see why—I thought about them more than anything else when I was involved in them, partially due to my genuine fascination with the idea as well as the speedy pace they went at. I was (and, to some extent, still am) used to roleplays with days, even weeks between posts, but at times those roleplays went by in minutes. I would wake up to 5 new notifications, check my phone at lunch to 8 more, and by the time I could finally post I’d have missed whole battles and character introductions. I would walk home thinking of what to write, only for it to not be relevant once I was at my computer 15 minutes later.
Despite it all, I had a lot of fun. There was never a dull moment, and its speedy pace often meant I spent most of my free time working on it. Usually when thinking of a certain time in my life, I end up thinking of a lot of different, minor factors, like games I played or music I listened to. But all I need to remind myself of that spring is simply backreading about what I wrote. That’s probably why it’s so special to me: it’s one of the most directly nostalgic things I have. A window into more pleasant weather and simpler times.
I always think about how differently it could’ve gone if I was a more competent writer then, if I didn’t base everything off of the Marvel movies I was obsessed with at the time. But would I still be as interested in it if we were all perfect writers? I can’t say the answer for certain, but I do know that all the flaws I can spot in my writings must be a sign of something good. I feel like I could go on for a thousand more words about my experience roleplaying here, but I think I’ve said most of what I want to say for the time being. Who knows: maybe I’ll come back and “reboot” this retrospective in the spirit of the roleplay, haha.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading through all of my unorganized ramblings about a specific roleplay that, for one reason or another, meant a disproportionate amount to me. Maybe there’s a similar roleplay that means a lot to you, or maybe you just wanted to remember the roleplay with someone else involved in it. Either way, I’d love to hear of your own experiences. Roleplaying here has been a blast so far, so thank you to everyone who made it possible. I look forward to whatever unforgettable memories we may create in the future.
-Peroxide
I find it fun to look back at stuff. Sometimes I’ll listen to old songs, play old games, look at old messages, etc. just to reminisce on when times were different. Not really better, not worse, just… different. I’m not sure if this kind of an obsession with nostalgia is unhealthy or irregular, but I think you get where I’m going with this.
Roleplays are some of the most fun things to look back on, for a few reasons. I enjoy looking back at how I spent and enjoyed the time, like with anything else. It’s also fun to remember what I was thinking at the time, something I especially enjoy about roleplays in particular: When I get into a roleplay, fast or slow, my mind is always racing with ideas for characters, arcs, posts, and sometimes just enjoying the concept in general. I remember my walks home when I would imagine scenes and soliloquies in my head, or brainstorm the appearances and mannerisms of a new character. I remember staring off into Chesapeake Bay, my mind less focused on the beach I was on during vacation and more on what I would post getting back to the hotel room. For me, It’s also a great way to gauge how far I’ve come, in both who I am and how I write. I was a much different person back then, and it shows in how my characters acted.
Three and a half years is a long time. 2019 was a year that’s several viruses, wars, heads of state, space telescopes, social movements, cryptocurrencies, and even monarchs of Britain away. High schoolers then are either in college or the workforce now—including myself. As I write this, I reminisce from my university dorm on those simpler times of leaving the windows open to let in the cool spring breeze, solving jigsaw puzzles next to cinnamon incense with my parents, and lurking around the library chessboard as the smell of coffee wafted through bookshelves. I was a teeny little freshman when a thread titled “Pokehuman Encounters” encouraged me to step out of just lurking Pokecharms and into creating an account. I was impressionable, judgmental, overly passionate about trivial things, and felt both inferior and highly superior at the same time—y'know, typical 15 year old stuff.
There's definitely a lot of my mindset back then that seeped into my writing, mainly in Reuben, the character I made for the roleplay. He was a kid dripping with sarcasm, through whom I injected a half-baked joke into every post, and who managed to evade all of the adversities everyone else faced for a good 40 percent or so of the roleplay. Reuben was a character I made almost as a way of showing self-awareness while writing, and as a way to almost display that I wasn't taking the roleplay fully seriously. Pokehuman Encounters was my first venture outside of the small Pokemon roleplay Discord I had exclusively used for a year and a half by that point, and to do so on a public forum felt like I was exposing myself. Have you ever watched or read something that you were deeply invested in, but felt weird doing it to the point of having to make fun of it as you went along? That may just be a me thing. I'm not sure about that. I promise I'm past it though.
Past the comic relief, I see some potential in Reuben I wish I had tapped into, and reflecting on that was probably the main point I decided to write this whole thing up. There were plenty of points where I could have chosen to ease up on the relentless barrage of puns I kept throwing around and allowed him a serious line of dialogue. His paranoia was one: Almost as soon as he joined the group he realized that there was little way of getting himself away from it. This was mentioned in one post and then effectively discarded. There was when he turned, once again panicking for one whole post and then reverting back to the same jokes he kept making. There was when he got caught by Eli, and when he stayed in his ball while Talia got caught, nearly feeling guilty for her capture before being told by his own Pokemon to just move on—which, of course, he promptly did.
There were so many in-character moments I could have used to help reveal the caring side of him I touted out-of-character that I didn't for some reason, and that remains my biggest regret from Pokehuman Encounters. I doubt I'll ever end up using Reuben again; his character was the kind that felt at home in only one roleplay, and one that needed a lot of time to flesh out that I doubt I'll ever get again. Who knows, though—recently his character has grown on me again, so I may end up finding some time and place to remaster his flawed character arc. Don’t count on it, though.
There was another character I used in that roleplay. One I only look back on with disgust and a "What were you thinking" sense of regret. It's Dmitri. Even during the roleplay I realized that I hardly had any enjoyment playing him: he was a flat, edgy, no-bite villain, and I have no intentions of bringing him back in any capacity, ever. It’s kinda funny: I used a static comic relief character in a place that could’ve used more seriousness, but completely glossed over the idea of a sarcastic villain. I tried to make amends for my bad “bad guy” in Antoine, an egotistical scientist hellbent on “improving” the world at the expense of its inhabitants, but after every roleplay I used him in quickly died I got the message and stopped. After four to six renditions of him, both on- and off-site, I got tired of the idea and moved on to greener pastures.
Despite my fatigue with Antoine and characters like him, I still enjoy rereading the old Encounters roleplays, seemingly moreso than anything else I was involved in. Though, in a way, I can see why—I thought about them more than anything else when I was involved in them, partially due to my genuine fascination with the idea as well as the speedy pace they went at. I was (and, to some extent, still am) used to roleplays with days, even weeks between posts, but at times those roleplays went by in minutes. I would wake up to 5 new notifications, check my phone at lunch to 8 more, and by the time I could finally post I’d have missed whole battles and character introductions. I would walk home thinking of what to write, only for it to not be relevant once I was at my computer 15 minutes later.
Despite it all, I had a lot of fun. There was never a dull moment, and its speedy pace often meant I spent most of my free time working on it. Usually when thinking of a certain time in my life, I end up thinking of a lot of different, minor factors, like games I played or music I listened to. But all I need to remind myself of that spring is simply backreading about what I wrote. That’s probably why it’s so special to me: it’s one of the most directly nostalgic things I have. A window into more pleasant weather and simpler times.
I always think about how differently it could’ve gone if I was a more competent writer then, if I didn’t base everything off of the Marvel movies I was obsessed with at the time. But would I still be as interested in it if we were all perfect writers? I can’t say the answer for certain, but I do know that all the flaws I can spot in my writings must be a sign of something good. I feel like I could go on for a thousand more words about my experience roleplaying here, but I think I’ve said most of what I want to say for the time being. Who knows: maybe I’ll come back and “reboot” this retrospective in the spirit of the roleplay, haha.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading through all of my unorganized ramblings about a specific roleplay that, for one reason or another, meant a disproportionate amount to me. Maybe there’s a similar roleplay that means a lot to you, or maybe you just wanted to remember the roleplay with someone else involved in it. Either way, I’d love to hear of your own experiences. Roleplaying here has been a blast so far, so thank you to everyone who made it possible. I look forward to whatever unforgettable memories we may create in the future.
-Peroxide
