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Steal the Briefcase!

Since it was a dream, my dream self is now in @WalterTheRalts' head with a reality-warping. While his Magikarp warriors prepare to escape the dream world, he uses the reality-warping powers of the Gyarados Ship to manipulate Walter's thoughts and take control of their body. I make Walter teleport behind you and use his/her psychic powers to knock the briefcase off of your hand. As it falls down from the clouds, it hits my real self on the head.
 
*Sarniur decides to have a go at this game when he finds that his trainer isn't around, as he gives a note from his perspective for once*

I immediately sneak out of my tank the moment when the briefcase lands hard on your head. Once I managed to get out of my room, I snatched the briefcase with my pectoral fins. After that, I immediately flopped over to my room and plunged into my tank as fast as I could before my little gills could dry out. I then hid in my aquarium castle with the briefcase being stored underneath a small table inside the said castle that is somewhat big for my size.
 
(If you’re implying the bowl is the tank, then you might need to look at how you would lift something so big and consider that it wouldn’t exactly fit in a typical toilet.)

*Sarniur hands another note*

Seconds after the previous person picks up the briefcase, I went out of my tank and smacked you with both my pectoral fins! Then, I snatched the briefcase in the air the moment it flew out of your grip. After that, I made a break for my tank, which was already refilled with water by the time I got back thanks to the emergency fail safe system. (By break, I mean more like attempting to flop like a normal fish would since sharks can’t exactly move on land as easily...) I decided to hide the briefcase under some rocks while eating some kelp noodles soon after.
 
Realizing that I was being controlled by Magikarps, I used my Psychic/Fairy powers to gain control of myself and kick everyone out of my mind. I just take the briefcase and continue to school, seeing that everyone has saw what happened.
 
*Sarniur decides to try to use his psychic powers again*

Since it was all part of your minding act, I decide to teleport to your location and shove you towards some bushes. I caught the briefcase as it came flying in the air and teleported back to my tank before anyone else could notice. After that, I hid the briefcase in a shelf that is in the living room of the aquarium castle of my tank.
 
I scream, using Disarming Voice. The move never misses, and it hits. I take the briefcase after teleporting to you and lock myself in a safe made of Titanium far off the solar system and on planet where only Psychic-Fairy types survive.
(I still don't know your types)
 
*Sarniur smiles since he’s a Water/Psychic type*

I teleport to said planet since I am a psychic type and snatch the briefcase as soon as I arrive in the titanium safe. I then teleport back to Earth and go back into my cozy tank before my gills can dry out. I press the buttons on the hidden control panel to close the tank and to not allow anyone to teleport in and out of the tank.
 
I look at you with the briefcase.
I use Confusion on the briefcase.
I run with the briefcase.
I go to a hiding spot underground that is impossible (IMPOSSIBLE) for anyone (ANYONE) to find.
 
(Please read my post carefully before doing actions Walter.)

*Sarniur hits you hard*

I simply utilize the power of teleportation to teleport the briefcase back into my tank after unlocking it and getting out for a brief moment. I then set the security again and also decided to stabilize the salt concentrations to allow a shark Pokémon like me to comfortably stay in, but most other Pokémon who are not really fishes would be begging to get out of it immediately.
 
*Sarniur gives another note*

I simply wait until said Pokémon flies high into the skies, then teleport the briefcase back in my tank after my trainer has its bots quickly repair the tank after what had happened earlier. (Along with disabling security first and reenabling it after the briefcase is in because of the previous statement of mine.) I then proceed to hide the briefcase under a pile of seaweed that isn’t exactly noticeable with the other parts of the tank that stand out more.
 
I pressed a button that removes all tanks (and its contents). I easily take the briefcase away from you an teleports into the world of Minecraft!!!
 
*a Cyber-type Pokémon decides to take point*

I simply move the briefcase file into my PC after noting that you were in a game, as I deleted the world you were in when you teleported in Minecraft. The briefcase appeared on my computer desk after the file was successfully moved. I hid the briefcase under my desk and activated my security door that needs a level 5 card to open.
 
Both versions of me, as well as our advanced Magikarp strike force, who are now free from Walter's mind, surround your house. Quickly overriding your door controls, I shut off all the power in your house, and we all enter. Using our strategic training, we burst into your room from many angles, moving through air vents and windows. While the Magikarp hold you down, I take the briefcase
 
i slap you with my fake fins. I WAS A TRAITOR! IM A DISGUISED MAGIKARP! then i remove my disguise and took the briefcase while your putting ice on your face. i went inside the computer find which game is best to hide in. UNTIL I FOUND THE PERFECT GAME! Hallelujah plays in the backround* CUPHEAD! i hid inside one of the boss games. (FIND OUT WHAT BOSS IT IS!)
 
But you forgot about my clone self, who had already entered Charles' computer as a back-up plan. He then replaces the boss and begins attacking you, while real-me leaps inside the computer, takes the briefcase, and runs away through the internet
 
I put you in Windows XP, then everything glitches immediately and gets vaporized (except the briefcase, which is somehow still in one piece) and stuck in the BSOD. Carefully working around it, I programmed out the briefcase.
 
It's a little known fact that Magikarp are excellent hackers, and it doesn't take long for them to get me out of the briefcase. Better yet, they'd attached a little device to the briefcase before you programmed it out AND hidden my clone inside of the device.
While I attack you, my clone activates a secret mechanism in the device, turning into a crablike robot, which wraps its legs around the briefcase. The bottom of the legs open up to reveal jets which propel it into the clouds.
 

TheJustinMann

Previously TheJustinMan
As an unexpected Turn of Events, I had the Dead Ringer equipped, so i faked death. I use the ambassador to get a crit on headshot, and take the briefcase once more.
 
*Simon decides come over after asking permission from his trainer, as he gives a note since he can't exactly talk like everyone else can, or at least like most people or which species they are*

Seeing that you took the briefcase from someone else after noticing you utilize two weapons nerfed to oblivion in a certain update, I decided to take advantage of the situation by unleashing a Pebble Pulse at you. With the wind of pebbles making you disoriented, I snatched the briefcase the second it drops on the floor.

Although it was a bit heavy and somewhat hard to hold for my size, I still managed to move around with it at a fair speed. I made a break for my room and stuffed the briefcase in my toy box. I climbed in my cot shortly after and resumed my nap so that my trainer would not bother me too much.
 

TheJustinMann

Previously TheJustinMan
“Uh, no!”

I come running in as a Scout, respawned, and then look at everything, including the toy box. I find the briefcase and take it, only to drink my Bonk! Atomic Punch so I can go faster. I make a bolt back to RED base.
 
*Torloger uses a Truth Bullet and picks Bonk! Atomic Punch as it*

“Your contradiction’s been shot down!”

Seeing that Bonk! Atomic Punch only makes the user invulnerable to all damage for eight seconds, I decided to launch a series of Verity Shots at you. After eight seconds, a sudden crash awaited, as a recent patch had made it so that the user consuming the item would experience a decrease in speed for five seconds depending on the amount of damage taken.

Taking advantage of the situation, I simply took the briefcase with a simple Psychic once you were slowed when the item effects wore off. I then converted the briefcase into data and transported it into my laptop where it rests in a drive hidden with various folders.
 

TheJustinMann

Previously TheJustinMan
After dying, I respawn at RED base, only to find that the briefcase is not physical matter. I decide to begin hacking, and start at the passcode of the laptop. Just got let my hack go through all possible codes...

[A FEW DAYS LATER]

Done! Next I find the Briefcase is in a series of various of folders. Gotta let my hack go through that, too...

[3 WEEKS LATER]

Done at last, done at last. I convert the briefcase back into physical matter the size of a 5*5 inch cube. I lock the cube in a safe inside another safe inside a laser field inside another safe inside another laser field surrounded by fire. I ask my team to help me, as I become an engineer, along with 5 others, building sentries around said safe. The demomen put sticky bombs all over the area the safe is at, and the rest of the team is ready to defend.
 
Of course, you couldn't possibly predict that I already hid myself in one of the safes, and am currently in the process of digging out. Knowing that the briefcase doesn't like to stay in a form that isn't the original, I throw it upwards just as it explodes back into normal-briefcase size. The excess parts of cube fly out in all directions, causing your sentries to explode, activating the sticky bombs. Now that the entire area is a crater, I grab the briefcase and run.
 
I consume a whole bunch of Moon Rocks at this... divot, and leap after you. I catch up with you in moments, and snatch away the briefcase. I keep hopping away.
 

TheJustinMann

Previously TheJustinMan
“BOOM! Headshot!”

I respawn as a sniper in a different area, and headshot you while you were running.
The rest of my team is fixing up the base except for me and a pyro. The pyro picks up the briefcase and begins to spin in a circle as he runs away with said briefcase.
 
I used the night to sneak inside through the vents of said building and grab the briefcase, and I crawled out of said vents and ran off to the forest.

I then buried the suitcase near a tree and sat on the tree, but I dozed off instead of staying up to protect the suitcase.
 
I cut the tree, falling on you. i dig the briefcase and opened it. a note was inside it. "FAKE BRIEFCASE!" it said. then he looked at the ground. near the tree was the real one, and i took it and ran away with it. i used a magical camera to trap it in a picture.
 
I take the Infinity Gauntlet and snap my fingers,however instead of what originally happened ten briefcase get teleported to me, I warp away with the briefcase using the Infinity Gauntlet
 
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