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Steal the Briefcase!

XanthousXatu

Previously SwiftSwoobat
I momentarily turn into Yoshi bc why not and I jump onto your helicopter, grab the briefcase, and fly away. Then I fall from the sky because I momentarily turn into Yoshi. I use the briefcase as a landing pad.
 
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An anvil falls on your head leaving the briefcase intact. I casually walk over and take the briefcase. And jump out of the script. (Breaking the fourth wall)
 
Arceus gets mad because you broke the fourth wall, and since they are a goat stuck in a fence, the punish you with the same fate: you have a section of fence stuck around your waist. Arceus drops the briefcase back into the script, onto an island in the middle of the sea, where there are no living beings except a few wild Pokémon.
 
i throw a master ball at arceus. (obviously i caught it... god of pokemon or not, its a master ball.) tosses master ball up in the air and hits it with a baseball bat then i yell "homerun!" before pointing at the reader and saying "thats how you do it!". Then i walk off with the briefcase.
 
arceus judges me as a pure-hearted guy with great morals and good intentions. we laugh and crack a couple "cold ones" then teleport Cmeriwether to the moon and collecting the briefcase. sorry...
 
i convince mew to give me the briefcase. and shuckle jumps in front of the focus blast for no reason because arceus used protect. it did look pretty honorable though even if it served no purpose. then i scold rayquaza with a water squirter and a dog whistle. "are you gonna behave?" i say as i hold up the rolled-up newspaper. then casually walking off again with the briefcase.
 
Karate Joe from Rhythm Heaven does a "PUNCH KICK!" on you, sending you off into the horizon without the briefcase and then you explode.
Now, in order to get the briefcase from Karate Joe, you must finish every single Rhythm Heaven game perfectly, on the first try, without failure, THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
HAHAHAHA!
 
after being revived by top scientists of the empire i retrieve a box and meet karate joe. in that box is a soccer ball. I offer joe the soccer ball in exchange for the briefcase. joe then accepted the deal then punches ManyAchievables all the way to the moon. in the same exact crater that Cmeriwether landed in. karate joe hands me the briefcase and we watch netflix and eat pizza and Joe peruses his dream to become a soccer player but fails miserably because he isn't good at it. at least he tried i mean that's better than some... i guess.
 
I, from the crater I'm in, summon a forest in the building that Thatguy101 is in and a bunch of woodland creatures steal the briefcase, and open a portal to my location, give me the briefcase as I ride off on a rocket into a different sealed dimension, tripled sealed, and send the briefcase further through the portal set.
 
I break the fourth wall and jump out of the comic book and walk to the other side where Cmeriwether is and jump in the page and push him through the portal taking the briefcase causing him to drop the portal gun. The portal gun then broke as it hit the ground thus closing the portals. I grab the briefcase and sit on a couch in front of a tv and rest my feet on a coffee table and the briefcase by my side.
 
Unfortunately, you forgot to check between the cracks of the couch. Waluigi is there. He is watching you. Hear the sound of the "Wah" as he spirits away the briefcase. Now, you may be wondering how I get the briefcase. It's simple. I make a trade, wherein I get the briefcase while Waluigi finally gets an invitation to Smash Ultimate. Of course, the invitation is forged - we can't have people like him in our fighting game - but by the time he realizes, the briefcase is mine and I am on the run.
 
what? I convince poor waluigi that he's just a mixture of wario and luigi's worst parts(sorry). Poor waluigi has a breakdown and I go over there slightly regreting(just slight regret) lying to waluigi. After that i call acme for a cannon(kinda like Wile E. Coyote). I launch my self from the cannon and smash myself into the wall ,but not before grabbing the breifcase from Thewanderer. but before you could get the briefcase back i press a button launching you to the moon! (why do i keep doing that?!) i thought to myself but then began walking casually over to my couch and sitting down once again.
 
Sorry, but there was a black hole in your couch, it sucked up you and your entire house with you, miraculously leaving the briefcase in the crater that was the house you were in, I pick up the Briefcase, summon hundreds of thousands of Dragons and fly off to somewhere else in Pokecharms.
 
Moments later the dragonborn comes... *cue the skyrim theme...*... a couple hours later all of the dragons are gone. We both stand completely shocked and horrified. I look over at you and walk off with the briefcase. however since i'm nice... i place a chair behind you so if you fall you might land in the chair. I then walk off and hope you don't fall forward or to the side.
 

aurivee_

Previously EeviumZ
Momentarily, you hear “Vee vee!” behind you. You look to see an Eevee, Eve specifically, briefcase in her mouth. She disappears in a swirl of pink sparkles.
 
I stand there calmly as i talk on my headset and send in a squad of imperial death troopers to retrieve the briefcase(no Eveee here harmed in the retrieval of the briefcase...). As they came back mission success i sit on my couch contempt.
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As you sit on your couch, you start to feel tired. You try to keep yourself from falling asleep by punching yourself in the face, but it doesn't work. After a few minutes pass with you asleep, you wake up again, but everything is a bit misty. You then start to get sucked into the couch, and you let go of the briefcase too. After you have been sucked in, a tornado of your blood spews out of the hole you were sucked into. Then, a man in a red and black-striped sweater grabs the briefcase, hands it to me, and then I eat a sandwich. The sandwich makes me get huge and buff as I protect the briefcase.
 
Then i clap my hands and tell you how you did well, Then I snap my fingers and everything goes back to normal. I walk up to the man in the sweater and blow on him causing him to turn into dust. As I walk over to you I hold out my hand and you feel compelled to hand my the briefcase.You want to keep the briefcase but you feel so compelled... That you hand it over with a smile ,and as I walk off i smile back at you and sit back on my couch that now has a cup holder! I put my victory mug in my cup holder.
 

Shikowara

Previously Lily May
A small kitty named Leif (The cat on my PFP) jumps on you and scratches your face off and steals the briefcase from you and runs over to me (The girl also in my PFP) as we drive away on my purple bike.
 
"how unexpected!" i said holding a fist in anger as I reached into the couch pulling out a box with faces in it and putting one on. I reach into the couch again and pull up an ol timey dial up phone and call animal control. The animal control come and take the cat and i walk over to you, "sorry... but that cat is probably gonna be put down..." I said as I took the briefcase and sat on my couch with the briefcase and took a long sip from my victory mug... "Bittersweet..." I said to myself
 

Shikowara

Previously Lily May
I got off my bike and ran back over to you and kick you in the stomach "Thats what you get!" I cried grabbing the briefcase. I saved my kitty from animal control and I just so happen to be a witch so I fly away on my broom to my tree house in the woods and let out my pet lizard to guard my house. He is 6 feet tall and has exploding spit! "That should do it!" I said petting my lizard who is named Sammy.
 
As the angry girl went to kick me her grabbed a pencil and erased her foot but before she could fall over i drew her foot back somewhat crude looking... "oops... let me fix that..." I said erasing her foot again and fixing it almost as good as new! (her leg was now 5 inches longer than her other) "ugh oh... I hope she doesn't notice..." I thought to myself" as she went to her tree house I walked back to my couch as I have the real briefcase.
 

Shikowara

Previously Lily May
A small girl named Nika Aoi came and quickly grabbed the briefcase from you and ran away, jumped on to a huge bird and flew away. She jumped off onto a roof and kept going.
 
I grabbed a gun, "If it bleeds, I can kill it! That bird is going to bleed real slowly..." I said with a sadistic grin as i pointed my gun at it. I pulled the trigger and out shot a potato hitting the bird causing it to fall from high in the sky and as it did, "ZA WARUDO!" I yelled as I stopped time and I casually walked over talking the briefcase from the girl on the rooftop and sat on my couch just moments before unfreezing time.
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Edit: to correct it...
 
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Shikowara

Previously Lily May
(She's not even on even on the bird anymore....but fine...)

A small nut falls from a tree and hits you in the head knocking you unconscious while a Pikachu comes by and snatches the briefcase from you and scurries away off into the sunset.
 
I look up and around and see a pikachu gets hit by the sun... "Ouch..." I said as I approached the roast pikachu taking the briefcase and sitting on my couch and saying a small prayer for pikachu. The sun then came over and we watched tv together and drank soda... turns out the sun can be a pretty chill guy.


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Shikowara

Previously Lily May
(OH MY GOSH!! Your posted get on my nerves...)

An old lady comes by and wacks you with her purse. You drop the briefcase and I come by pick it up and walk the lady home to her cat infested house. (XD) I leave the house with a box full of cookie that I gift to you. I call up my friend and we drive away in her car.
 
If you think I won't drop kick an old lady you got another thing coming... I jump out and miss... she started laughing up until I slid her cane out from her hand and tossed it up on a high shelf conveniently out in the middle of nowhere. As you and your friend drive away I snap my fingers and the briefcase in your car turns into a wallet with a reasonable amount of money for the cookies as well as a thankyou letter and a crude drawing of me holding the briefcase. I sit there still chilling with the sun on the couch and I got the briefcase...
 

Shikowara

Previously Lily May
(Imma make a one shot out of this thread XD)
Lucky returns to your couch and takes a nap. Distracting you from the elf that replaces the briefcase with a fake one and gives the real one to me. The elf and I jump onto a dragon which drops us off onto a magical cloud.
 
I'm okay with this... I smiled and waved and said hi to the elf... I thought it was kinda rude for the elf not to say hi back... I look down at lucky and I grab my trusty fishing rod and swing it and as I do the hook catches onto the handle and I pull it back. I sit there chilling with the briefcase, the sun from earlier, and now lucky too? Whatever... I just run with it.
 
A Dragon the size of The Moon eats Thatguy101but spits out the Briefcase, and the cat, The dragon returns the cat to Kasumi Daiyamondo, and the Briefcase is sealed with Ryūshūakabari from an RP I'm in, in a realm filled with fire.
 
I take my knife and latch onto the dragons tonsil... it was very painful... the dragon let out a roar causing me to fly out with my dagger still in hand. "I know i was going to eat you but that was totally uncalled for!" Said the dragon. "Sorry" I said as the angry dragon walked off. I then casually walked outside the comic and into the next page and found the page where Cmeriwhether was and replaced the briefcase with another briefcase filled with a bunch of diced grapes. I then handed Kasumi Daiyamondo a towel because her cat was covered in Cmeriwether's dragon's spit... gross... I casually walk back to my couch that was instantly fixed and looking brand new. I sat there and chilled as I drank out of my victory mug... with the briefcase.
 
"You fool!" Ryūshūakabari laughed as he suddenly set you on fire and opened lava under Thatguy101, effectively drowning him in fire, said Elemental takes the Briefcase and hands over the Briefcase to me in which I teleport to a random place on Pokecharms
 

Shikowara

Previously Lily May
At this point I was very happy to get my buddy back and that GuY gave me a towel. But I still wanted that briefcase. I called up my friend White Fox, the one who I called up earlier and drove away in her car. Anyways she teleports to you, snatches the briefcase from you and turns into a white fox....get it?....Then teleports herself, me, and Lucky into a large mansion filled with glass.
 
I look up at Ryūshūakabari and one punch him saitama style... turning him into a giant pile of goo. Then moments later when kasumi walks into the mansion as soon as she dropped her guard i magically appear in her mansion and take the briefcase and used walked back to the page where my couch was and continued chilling and drinking out of my victory mug...

 
Bahamut, the fire-breathing dragon, swoops near Fort Nox. The residents go into a state of panic and surrender the briefcase to me, who was riding on top of Bahamut. How did I tame it, you ask? I just gave it a lot of food. Oh, and now Fort Nox is gone because I had Bahamut burn it to the ground.

I then have Bahamut fly me back to The Realm Of The Entity. Survivors, Killers and The Entity are going to be working together to stop you. The Survivors blind you. The Killers attack you. The Entity demolishes you.
 
I get my water squirter with holy water squirting back bahamut along with all the other creatures, "back or you get the squirter again!" I said driving them back where they came from and claiming my briefcase and once again sitting on my couch with my victory mug... life is good today... life is good.
 
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