Crush a wish!

[sheesheesh]

Granted, you get raped.

I wish I didn't have so many blisters.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but they all burst at the same time, causing a lot of pain.

I wish that fossils really could be restored.

 

[sheesheesh]

Granted, but one of them is a T-Rex and it eats you.

I wish you could see this right now.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but then you are called a n00b for not realizing that the post background was yellow, not white.

I wish I had a plate of Mac and Cheese right now :3

 

[sheesheesh]

Granted, but it's from Flavorite.

I wish I remembered that the background is yellow and not white.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but then someone beats you in the head with a bottle of Orange Juice.

I wish I had a Mountain Dew.

 

[sheesheesh]

Granted, but it eats your soul!

I wish for a hundred wishes.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but they all backfire, and you end up dead multiple times.

I wish that a bird really could carry me across the country.

 

[sheesheesh]

Granted, but it's a dodo.

I wish I could reanimate the dead bodies I hide under my bed. 0_o

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but they all kill you for killing them.

I wish I could punch each of the Jonas Brothers in the face.

 

[SoIHerdYaLiekAnime]

Granted, but their bodyguard kills you.

I wish I had every starter. (JUST. TWO. MORE.)

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Granted, but when your Totodile fully evolves into Feraligatr, it devours you because you feed him last.

I wish I knew the date of the next lunar eclipse

 

[sheesheesh]

Granted, but you are now blind.

I wish my name really was Aristotle.

 

[Brendan Savem]

Granted, but now Glameow knows exactly who you are, and as shocking as it is, she manages a nuclear launch silo and has control over them, and we all know what she will do to you if she finds out your identity.

I wish I had my own nuclear launch silo

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Granted, it goes boom with you inside. Don't worry, you live, but you have all kinds of cancers and radiation poisoning.

I wish I can get done everything today that I plan on getting done.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but you planned to do nothing.

I wish I weren't so sleepy right now.

 

[Brendan Savem]

Granted, but now you can never sleep again. And die of sheer exhaustion

I wish I was radiation proof

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but then you were impaled. By a truck.

You don't die of exhaustion. More a lack of REM sleep.

I wish I were more of a neuro-nerd.

 

[Brendan Savem]

Granted, but your new custom title is 'the big nerd' and you become the butt of all the n00b spamming for a month

I wish I lived to be over nine-thousand

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but then you become an internet meme... an overused one that everyone hates D:

I wish I knew more numbers of pi.

 

[Brendan Savem]

Granted, but you insist on writing down the entire number instead of the pi symbol, and use up ALOT of paper in the process

I wish the pi symbol was more fabulous

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but now it's all bedazzled and fabulous and therefore suddenly won't talk to you anymore, because you're just not cool enough for it.

I wish I could actually make this face :3 in real life.

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Granted, but people think you look wierd and you'll never get a boyfriend

I wish my thoughts would stop trying to rhyme

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but then your brain would melt D:

I wish Wi-Fi Connect could work over a WPA-secured network.

 

[turbokid64]

Granted, but everything that is related to wi-fi is stolen by extra-terestrials and are destroyed so it doesn't really matter.

I wish i could control people's minds.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but the only thing you can make them do is eat waffles O_O

I wish I could give people cookies over the internet.

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Granted. I'm not crushing because I want cookies.

I wish I had cookies

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, although they're internet cookies. So... I'm still kind of working the kinks out of the sending system. It may take a few days.

I wish I could send cookies instantaneously. Like... beam cookies to people.

 

[sheesheesh]

Granted, but they all turn into oatmeal raisin when you send them.

I wish the Jonas Brothers didn't suck so bad.

 

[Tunolipede]

Granted, but now you are physically attracting to all of them. Especially the main singer guy. Whatever his name is.

I wish I didn't know what I'm talking about.

 

[sheesheesh]

Granted, you are an idiot.

I wish I didn't get that crew cut.

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Granted, you got every hair shaved off your body. EVERY hair.

I wish for a decent lunch

 

[Tunolipede]

Granted, but you get Swine Flu off of your ham sandwich and, eventually, die.

I wish Swine Flu would bloomin' GO AWAY.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but now it has been replaced with an airborne form of Ebola Zaire. And it still has that nasty ~85% mortality rate.

I wish I could study Ebola, but not contract it.

 

[Toastie]

Granted, but A new disease which turns your body inside out sweeps the globe and Ebola is the only cure.

I wish Pokemon movie 12 would reveal new pokemon...

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Granted, they are new formes of already existing Pokemon. Crouching Rattata, Hidden Bidoof, and Blind Zubat

I wish those were the actual Pokemon that will be revealed.

 

[SineCosineTangent]

But then people hate you for raising their hopes and dashing them quite expertly D:

I wish I could have a WEP wireless network for my DS. Now.

 

[Jenova]

Granted, but the network dies on you.

I wish that 5 Maid Challenge thing didn't hack so much for me

 

[SineCosineTangent]

Granted, but now, when you defeat one, they'll explode, immediately fainting all of your pokemon D:

I wish I could go to space.

 

[Psycho Monkey]

Granted, but you don't have a space suit.

I wish I'll be able to go to sleep tonight (My sibling has his friends over and the TV is on the other side of the wall to my room. And did I mention I have very accute hearing?)