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Crush a wish!

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[size=8pt]Granted, but it creates an unending paradox in which you have to continually create nonsensical replies to every waking moment of your life.

I wish lampposts DID talk, and SweetSmoochum still had her posterior.[/size]
 
Still LMAOing at Kalseng's post. LOL Whaaatt? haha (Thanks, Belle.)

Granted, but now everyone keeps looking at my heinie instead of into my eyes when they talk to me and it gets on my nerves. :p

I wish I wasn't afraid of anything. XD
 
Congratulations. You don't fear anything. You brave the vast pile of corns but die at the violent hands of the mushrom lord weilding a blade of pancakes.

You die of electorution.

OH, WAY TO GO.

I bet that wouldn't have hpapened if you weren't swimming the the ice creem with your cell phone.

I wish my cell phone didn't suck.
 
Granted,
But while talking on your cell phone during another call to Brayden and I, you aren't paying attention and have a fatal fall. Just as you fall, all reality is lost and a pit of lava appears below you.

NOMNOM FOR TEH LAVAZ!

I wish I was beautiful.
 
Granted but the next time you look in the mirror you can't stop looking away until you eventually die of dehydration.

I wish for a beaver that can swim on air currents, is blue, knows advanced calculus, is great at karaoke, every one likes it and likes to take a daily jog with everyone in the Pokecharms community.
 
[size=8pt]Granted, but your three-footed tiger eats it.
Darn.


I wish you'd never asked for that silly tiger.[/size]
 
(you know that was a sexy wish ;D)

Granted, but from now on I will wish for other crazy animals

I wish for a crocodile that is immune to sleep, charm, fear, and stun. Is way too mean to be consumed by any other animals, and doesn't age. But it still needs to be a ladies man, who all of the guys are jealous of (except for me)
 
[size=8pt](I am awarrreeeee. But I had to decide between rape and disembowelment followed by gorging and, well..)

Granted. But, as it turns out, the crocodile is gay and spurns the beaver in favor of a wild and adventurous young alligator. But alas, their love was not meant to be. They are unable to carry on their lineage because of the difference in chromosomes. And the essential reproductive forms, of course.

I wish my gum hadn't just lost its flavor..[/size]
 
Granted, but your NRA sucks and you feel so dissappointed, you throw the computer away. And the kind mechanic that fixed it for you feels turned down and thus becomes your new teacher, you feel guilty and unconfortable all the way until the next summer

I wish I could do posts like Kalseng had
 

Psycho Monkey

Member of the Literary Elite Four
Granted, but it consumes your life and we never see or hear from you again (Come back Chao!)

I wish I had a monkey that could talk and was a master swordsman and a kung-fu master so that we could have intense battle when ever the whim struck. (RPG can have all the other creatures of the Animal Kingdom, but monkeys are mine to command! Bwahahahaha!)
 
Granted, but as you have only one multi-tasking animal and RPG has four, you shall be defeated in combat (and all the animals that have these bizzare characteristics rebel and murder people like you and RPG, don't remember which one came first)

I wish I had more dancing moves (I could always do with another one to break the dance floor)
 
Granted! But in breaking the dance floor, your foot is impaled with several large pieces of wood and it causes a huge infection in your leg which leads to gangrene, resulting in amputation. But at least you get to wear one of those cool plastic ones! :D

I wish I owned a zoo
 

Psycho Monkey

Member of the Literary Elite Four
Granted, I'm part of the monkey exibit and throw poo at the visitors. When that doesn't work I use my new Super Dragon Breath attack to scare everyone away (See RPG's Signature Anime Attack Thread). Hail insanity!

I wish I had wings so I could further terrorize people from the air!
 
Granted but you fly too close to the sun and develop Third Degree Burns, which lead to epidermic cancer. Then you die in two years.

I wish that Candy Corn didn't suck so much
 
granted, the candy is tasty, and the packaging says, 'it feels like a cannonball blew your head off'. They really mean it as when you eat a couple, I happen to be practicing my new Dynamic Iron Cannon attack, but accidentally hit your head off. But who cares? It tasted good when I had a couple.
 
(The bad dreams I have are ones where I die. The good ones are of the boy I like. ;))

Granted, now it's dead. (I'm sorry. :C I had 3 hamsters that died. We had them for a year each.)

I wish I knew if my friend still likes High School Musical so that way I can take him to see HSM 3 for his birthday...
 
(Aww...my last gerbil, which was a runt, was like five years old when he died. :'()

Granted, but you have eleven and twelve year-olds up to your eyeballs when you watch.

I wish I could get on WoW. >:(
 

Psycho Monkey

Member of the Literary Elite Four
Granted, you're so convincing a Great White Shark takes a bite of you. You live but now you only have one leg and severe scarring around your hip and abdominal areas.

I wish I didn't make Rayn suffer so :-\
 

Psycho Monkey

Member of the Literary Elite Four
Granted, the shark is in your pool and gets even with you for making it suffer

I wish it wasn't so hot in the computer room
 
Granted, now the room is freezing and you turn into an ice cube. (I'm sorry. :C)

(I'm afraid of sharks.)

I wish I wasn't so scared of the movie I'm watching. (Final Destination 3.)
 
Granted.

HOWEVER,

You are now fearless and decide to tackle all of your greatest fears all at once. Unfortunately, you succeed. You are attacked by sharks, spiders, and the grim reaper within the same 20 seconds, so they decide to make a movie out of it, called SMOOCHUM'S DESTINATION. It is a massive hit and you become a millionaire. Unfortunately, it turns out that the burgers you were cooking on your yaught contained a high-powered hallucinegen that caused you to believe the sea was actually a pokemon universe. You dive in, and immediately start having a seizure, and fall unconscious.

You wake up hours later on a beach, and simultaneous shocked, confused, and ecstatic. All of these emotions inspire a wave of creativity and you write a book on the beach shore. Unfortunately, high tide destroys it and you become suicidal, and cast yourself into the darkest depths f the ocean.

You are found the next day, dead on top of a bed of marshmallows.

You died of eating too many game manuals.

Sadly, no matter how much diet coke they pumped into your left ear, they couldn't stop the mustard from leaking out your eyes. Your family attends your funeral, and each are driven to injest large ammounts of cell phones and Master Lock padlocks. Sadly, they all die the next week of a deadly salmanela poisoning.

I wish I had S'mores.
 
Granted, but the cows get mad at you for drinking their milk. To make it worse, they are vampire cows from the movie Little Vampire. They are angry and blood thirsty. You decide to remove all the blood from your body and shrivel into nothing. Now, you look like a giant raisin. A senior citizen comes along who loves raisins and swallows you in one bite. (I'm sorry.)

I wish I could give myself a new screen name.
 

Psycho Monkey

Member of the Literary Elite Four
Granted, but the grahm cracker is stale causing it to loose that extra crunch s'mores are suposed to have.

I wish my crush was epic enough to be worthy of Kalseng's wish
 
(I didn't wish for smores...)

Granted, but no one else finds it epic. They constantly brag about how their crushes are epic and tease you for having a non-epic crush. You can't take it anymore and you go to the zoo to cool off. However, the monkeys get mad at you and attack.

I wish I had a robot.
 

Psycho Monkey

Member of the Literary Elite Four
(Clearly. I didn't notce there was a page 71 :-[)

Granted, but eventually the robot questions existance and concludes that it is superior to humans. It then proceeds to kill you and begin a human eradication plan. I join him in the plan for my own amusement.

I wish I had notced a page 71 before I posted that last reply.
 
Granted, but the people you rule grow too demanding of you. You can't handle all this pressure. Thus, you quit being ruler. Everyone is now lost without your power. So, they search for you, but you don't want to be found. You rent a spaceship and fly to a foreign planet. Now you live with aliens and will be married to one of them shortly. On your wedding day, however, the alien dies before saying I do. (I'm sorry.)

I wish that made sense.
 
(I'm a nice person. :-\)

Granted, but now everyone hates me and I commit suicide. Now no one's requested sprites can be finished, and my cousin AJ cries over my death. (The four year old loves me.) :'(

I wish I didn't die.
 
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