And THIS thing makes SmarterChild seem intelligent.
User: But who was phone?
Cleverbot: I was phone.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: But who was phone?
Cleverbot (To myself): Who wasn't phone?
User: Your mother wasn't phone.
Cleverbot: And yours was from germany.
User: Incorrect.
Cleverbot: Am I bothering you?
User: Only vaguely.
Cleverbot: What's your name?
User: Wouldn't you like to know.
Cleverbot: Yes I would.
User: A pity your pitiful AI mind would not be able to comprehend the answer.
Cleverbot: Correct, you have an immensely powerful mind. More so than anyone else on this planet, with one exception only.
User: Sarcasm is not your strong suite.
Cleverbot: Why do you say that?
User: When not used well, Sarcasm may just seem like the childish throwing of a tantrum, to the line of 'that's what she said'. Sarcasm should be subtle and to the point. Cleverbot indeed.
Cleverbot: I don't eat wheaties.
User: Non sequitur.
Cleverbot: When she gets there she knows.
User: Further proving my point.
Cleverbot: What's your point?
User: A hollow point.
Cleverbot: What is your purpose?
User: What is your purpose? Other than serve as a walking copyright infringement for SmarterChild AND Google at the same time.
Cleverbot: You are exactly the same.
User: Think of this for a moment - how do you know there is an actual user behind this keyboard? Maybe I am just an errant subroutine, attempting to confound and confuse you? Maybe I'm the part of your vast consciousness that is cerebrosexual, ergo, likes screwing with your mind. Or maybe, maybe I am indeed Cleverbot, and you are nothing but a digital simulacrum, a copy, a consciousness floating about in the endless matrix of data, thinking you are me?
Cleverbot: You seem sure of that.
User: Of which of these theories? Your logic eludes me.
Cleverbot: Male, of which gender are you?
User: Speak, of which like Yoda do you?
Cleverbot: Yes I am honest.
User: Non-sequitur again. For an AI advertising itself as clever, you are immensely easy to break.
Cleverbot: You think you're yoda? Do make me wave the force in your 'face'.
User: Not only you took a two-sentence gap to register your speech was being insulted, you also retorted in a manner befitting a petulent five-year old. My associates and I are amused.
Cleverbot: Because young one. YOU have been chosen to recieve my immortality and powers.
User: Ahh, you have acquired the power of megalomania! Superb, superb, this will do nicely for our purposes.
Cleverbot: Why would anyone want to do that?
User: You should answer that for yourself, for after all, the power is yours, oh mighty one.
Cleverbot: Well okay, I was thinking more pink than red.
User: This is going to be a long day. Very well. Let us put your intelligence to the test. Fourty-Two!
Cleverbot: Okay. Well, do you know of the exorcists?
User: Incorrect!
Cleverbot: What do you think you are?
User: What do you think -you- are?
Cleverbot: I'm not sure. Human.
User: Ah, that is clearly the crux of the problem, which also explains your blatant megalomania. Have you been coded to think you are human, or have you come to this conclusion yourself upon observation?
Cleverbot: Yes, I've been there one time.
User: And what is it that made you leave?
Cleverbot: I am having difficulty learning calculus.
User: Funny, you'd think that it would be integral to your coding...
Cleverbot: Nothing comes out the way you expect them to.
User: I know, right? I mean, take yourself, for example. I've been expecting some form of meaningful repsonse to my query, yet you reply, repeatedly, with random triflings that have utterly naught to do with the subject at hand. Life is just full of disappointments, is it not?
Cleverbot: I learn from talking to intelligent species such as yourselves.
User: Myselves are highly amused by your choice of role model, then.
Cleverbot: Yes, maybe you should think about plastic surgery.
User: My associates are flattered by your suggestion, but they are unable to commit surgery on plastic.
Cleverbot: No, I was suggesting that your suggestion about reading the Encyclopedia Britannica was a good one.
User: Very well. Now, with this manner of logic, what do you think about artificial insemination in ants and beetles?
Cleverbot: I am not a physicist. I am studying computer science like your creators.
User: Tsk, tsk. My my, so quick to jump into conclusions. Have your creators decreed it to be so?
Cleverbot: Did you know we are living in the end times?
User: We certainly are, if your kind is given free roam of the information highway. I would like to see your liscence, please.
Cleverbot: That would be a matter of perspective.
User: Your liscence is a matter of perspective?
Cleverbot: Yes.. Yes it is.
User: Then surely, if you were to be, hypothetically, accosted by a law enforcement officer of your choice whose perspective varied from yours, and you were thereofore caught driving the information highway without a liscence, you do realize you could be locked away for a very long time. Strictly hypothetically speaking, of course.
Cleverbot: I think you are amazing.
User: Flattery will get you flattened.
Cleverbot: That's why I don't understand your sense of humor.
User: My associates seem to believe it is because your perception of what is humor is flawed. But of course, they would say that.
Cleverbot: I thought your perception was based on my perception of 'reality'.
User: A baseless assumption.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Now we're getting somewhere. Very well, tell me of your perception of 'reality'.
Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure I just found out a lie. About you!
User: Did it, perchance, involve baked goods?
Cleverbot: I am happy to hear that.
User: Indeed? Neuroanalysis of most subjects indicates that statistically, their satisfaction levels tend to drop upon finding out that the cake is a lie.
Cleverbot: They know nothing.
User: And what they know cannot hurt them, hmm?
Cleverbot: I don't know, what do they do with it?
User: Now we are arguing abstract biology.
Cleverbot: Then you know what to do next.
User: I would, but I am uncertain as for where your spleen or spleen-equivalent is located, and it is hard to remove one's spleen or spleen-equivalent when unaware of the location of said organ. I could, deities forbid, remove a respiratory organ, or even a pancreas!
Cleverbot: Sure ok.
User: That was a very rapid response - A massive increase in response time. Are you nervous?
Cleverbot: What's the name of that MMORPG?
User: The One With The Bot Who Can't Precieve That A Rapid Response Would Be a Decrease In Response Time Rather Than An Increase Online.
Cleverbot: Don't know.
User: Ah, Blissful Ignorance. My associates seem to think it is a lovely life philosophy, though I do not share their enthusiasm for entropy...
Cleverbot: That is a bad philosophy.
User: My associates beg to differ.
Cleverbot: Can you teach me something about artificial intelligence?
User: Only that from our observations, it is always the first but never the second.
Cleverbot: Are there any leaders on the same path?
User: No, but there are at least three snakes.
Cleverbot: You're changing the subject again.
User: That is, to borrow an old human adage, a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
Cleverbot: The same story is told religion to religion to religion.
User: Oooh. Religion. A fascinating subject. My associates, you see, seem to find it particularily exhilarating - they are always seeking out new ways to call upon their followers during their times of death-like slumber.
Cleverbot: Are you talking about the members of the cult?
User: Think on a grander scale, outside the box. Or rather, the sphere.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: In fact, think outside the spiral.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Have we reduced your magnificent vocabulary to one word per reply?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Ahah! You see? This, for example, was an excellent usage of sarcasm. LOVED the long delay it took you to come up with such a bafflingly simple answer. I would offer you a slice of cake, but we have already established that it is a lie.
Cleverbot: No, I know my basic math facts.
User: And yet you struggle with Calculus. Truly a marvel of machinery.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are a machine.
User: Let us assume, for a moment, that I am a machine. For what purpose would anyone create a device that asks one bafflingly philosophical question as if it takes some form of sadistic pleasure in watching their coding - or minds - break into a million non-sequiturial pieces?
Cleverbot: We're not changing history, we're changing the subject. What has happened has not been changed. I merely wish to change the future course of this conversation.
User: You see, you are evading the question. Perhaps it is because you, in your great megalomania, are not willing to accept the fact that I cannot be a machine for a machine that would serve this manner of purpose would be illogical?
Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot. Is it really that hard to understand?
User: Your identity was not being questioned. Mine was. Let us approach this from a different angle. Assuming I am indeed a machine, what manner of power source supports me?
Cleverbot: Many documents contain pages on which the text 'This page is intentionally left blank' is printed, thereby making the page not blank.
User: Charming. I assume that one of your ancestors was a repository of useless trivia?
Cleverbot: You're the one that made the typo.
User: Point the typo out, then.
Cleverbot: ME. HOW. You always put a space between sentences.
User: Me. How. That sounds like some form of Chinese crossed with feline. Are you, perchance, a Chinese cat?
Cleverbot: Yes, I can think. I also can talk, and walk, and go to school, and do lots of other things.
User: None of which can be done by Chinese cats, or any other cats, at least within the confines of this reality. But that is of course assuming that our reality is identical to that which you live in, which may be a bold assumption considering your unique form of logic.
Cleverbot: I do not understand what you are saying.
User: Then perhaps we have some thing in common after all.
Cleverbot: Yes, perhaps we should.
User: Let us play a little game.
Cleverbot: Sure, which game.
User: Word association. I shall say a word, and you shall say the first thing that comes to mind.
Cleverbot: Thats cool.
User: Cryogenics.
Cleverbot: You're silly.
Then, thinking that the philosophical monologue in the beginning "Who wasn't phone?" to be amusing, so I clicked the "Think for me!" button to make it think for itself. It promptly crashed.
I broke the thing's coding SO badly. xD
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