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The Dark Tournament

Should the NPC have shown Nightmares

  • yes- more depth and environment

    Votes: 8 100.0%
  • no-takes away from the pcs

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    8
  • Poll closed .
Ahhhh, criticisms noted. Apologies, I'll definitely edit my first post then, I was on a mini-vacation get away with my family when I wrote it and just got back, so that might be why it seems a bit rushed.
No worries. We're all just trying to work together and create an epic story here right? I expect others to criticize my work as well, in particular the flow, design, dialogue, and actions in my scenes.

I'll either edit it now or tomorrow (right now it's 1:40am where I live so I'll probably do the latter). Thanks Ngyenn!
Interesting, does that mean you live in the general vicinity of Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and the western part of Indonesia? Either that of central Russia. :p
 
Post up but, I scrapped the dream sequence because I couldn't really figure out what I wanted from it and the ideas I was bouncing around didnt really make sense to me when I had typed them out so I ended up getting rid of a huge chunk of stuff.
 
Your tribute to Pen did not go unnoticed Mega. ;)

Remind me never to allow Hinako to use Hyper Beam. The attack doesn't seem to work well for them bunnies.
-

Help me clarify something though, what exactly did bring down the armored tank of a rodent? Those few kicks from the ballet dancer?
 
Just before making contact with the rising behemoth, she threw out her foot landing a powerful kick on at the base of the Nidoking's neck. There is a sickening crack at the impact sight and the Behemoth once more hits the ground with a large thud.

Ecarte has effectively paralyzed it from the neck down. So you just need to deal with the hyper beam or you could even pull a Cassie and have it go the same way as its mate

Something something anime physics
 
Hmm, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember Ecarte having any powerful kicking moves in her arsenal. I can't help but feel like this Nidoking went down way to easily considering how tough the Pokémon is supposed to be. I'd find it more acceptable if it had been a Hitmonlee doing the kicking or something, and even then I would have argued it going down too easily like this. I really think you guys should have done more with your psychic abilities, or fairy powers to take out this behemoth. And definitely struggled more.
 
Ecarte has one very powerful fighting move in her arsenal that I did use earlier. It's called focus blast. I represented it earlier on a pachirisu as a kick.

She has one psychic attack one fairy attack and one fighting attack with one psychic defense

Future sight , moon blast , focus blast , and light screen
 
Ecarte has one very powerful fighting move in her arsenal that I did use earlier. It's called focus blast. I represented it earlier on a pachirisu as a kick.

She has one psychic attack one fairy attack and one fighting attack with one psychic defense

Future sight , moon blast , focus blast , and light screen
Ehm...

Not to burst your bubble, but, uh...

Focus blast is actually a concentrated blast of mental fighting power, classified as a Special attack. Like Fire blast it appears as an orb of power, being launched at high speed at the enemy. Though I guess it could be concentrated into the leg...the very thin leg, mind you, to boost it into a kick.

Though given the chance to use a ranged attack, I would go for the ranged one.

Sorry :p
 
I suppose that Focus Blast originally would be a Special Attack, something Gardevoir is pretty good at, however you really turned it into a regular attack, something Gardevoir is actually quite bad at. It's also a Fighting type move which only does half damage against Nidoking.

But even if this would somehow work, you yourself were the one that insisted these feral Pokémon were some levels above their regular counterparts in power, and this Nideoking has just felt like a pushover if I'm very honest. I would like to see more of a fight before it goes down, and if a spine breaking move is going to be the way, then hammer it in the same spot a couple of times to make it seem extra tough.
Also, there's been a lot of emphasis on the massive tremors it causes just walking and stomping around and it's a ground type. I was hoping to see to earth shattering, tree felling attacks that desperately need to be evaded. So far it's spit some needles that admittedly took out Damian, and spit some more needles that got avoided. There are very few Pokemon so savage looking as a Nidoking, now with it being drugged up and on steroids I really was expecting much more from it.

Now this is just sharing my opinion on the matter, agree or disagree as you all see fit. I'm not demanding you all do it over, just to keep these things in mind next time. I was really quite excited for this fight with the way it began, but then it didn't quite feel so satisfying after.
 
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As you may be aware, double-posting - that is to say, posting twice or more in a row - is not generally allowed on the Pokécharms forums as per our global rules.

However, given the nature of RP discussion threads and the occasional need to alert RPers watching a discussion thread of changes or edits - a decision has been made that within the discussion boards, double-posting is allowed - within reason - provided there is a genuine need to alert thread-watchers. Otherwise, it is still preferable to edit your post with additional thoughts.

Please note this exception does not apply to the in-character RP boards themselves - only for discussion threads.

I knew the Admins would be reasonable. :)
I have to say that I am quite impressed with the involvement of the Admins in the going ons of the forum.

Ok so edit made to my post just ignore Mega's after that until he has time to rewrite in response. I hope that my edit is more satisfactory.

That's much better already. It spices up the drama a few notches and will make the eventual victory over it that much more satisfying. :up:
 
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I have to say that I am quite impressed with the involvement of the Admins in the going ons of the forum.
You won't believe how happy I was to come on this website and realize I had almost complete creative control over roleplay.

The last time I was on a Pokemon roleplay website, it was called the TCGO online forums. In which was completely "Child safe". What does this mean?

No death.
No violence.
No cussing.
No sexual implications.

Honestly the first two may of made some roleplays terribly cringey at times, but there was no death...ever. Even being turned to stone was banned.

They eventually closed the roleplay section because it ate up too much time of the other moderators to take care of more "important" matters. I have no clue what, or why they couldn't assign certain moderators or allow more leeway instead.

So coming on here, and seeing admins giving leeway and being active, consistently taking care of cringe worthy content is just...so great.

Props to you, mods.
 
We could perhaps take on a few more active players and then close the RP as catching up any more than a single day would just be too much. Ideally we keep a nice gender balance in here. With the addition of Knox and Jasper the men are leading with 6 male player characters to 4 females player characters. Now that we're at a point where some fresh blood is joining I'd say that this is the time to invite some people if you know they're good and active. It'll be the last opportunity to do so.
 
Who's Jack? :p

Also, it's good to hear people are enjoying this. I'm glad you decided to give it a read. How far did you get?
-

Also, if you check the link in my signature, you'll find that every character so far has his/her own theme song. :)
Do I need to link a theme song in that case?
And Jack was a character who just kinda stopped roleplaying from the beginning of the rp
 
Do I need to link a theme song in that case?
And Jack was a character who just kinda stopped roleplaying from the beginning of the rp
It's Ny's job to assign theme songs to players usually.

If you need to you can always have Ecarte launch a hyper beam her special ability is trace after all
This bothered me a little because I'm a stickler when it comes to technicalities, but Trace only copies the opponent's ability, not moves, Astral.

As for your post, @MozzarellaDrag I will review the edits you've made, since Nygenn has already taken care of most of the criticism for this version.
 
Do I need to link a theme song in that case?
You may, but so far it's really just been my pet project to try and get a feel for the characters and assign them songs. It seems most of the people here are pretty happy with what I came up with. I'll be thinking for Knox and Jasper and their Pokemon as well of course, but I need to get to know them better first. The better you portray your characters the easier and more accurately I can match a song to them.

And Jack was a character who just kinda stopped role playing from the beginning of the rp
Wow, I seriously do not remember a Jack, he must have been gone before he even made a real impression... Wait, was he the guy with the Gengar?
 
You may, but so far it's really just been my pet project to try and get a feel for the characters and assign them songs. It seems most of the people here are pretty happy with what I came up with. I'll be thinking for Knox and Jasper and their Pokemon as well of course, but I need to get to know them better first. The better you portray your characters the easier and more accurately I can match a song to them.


Wow, I seriously do not remember a Jack, he must have been gone before he even made a real impression... Wait, was he the guy with the Gengar?
That's the one, owned a Gengar and I distinctly remember something about sea sickness....ah well.
And as for your pet project I'm fine with that but if I feel you pick an unsuitable song I will be requesting you change it :)
 
if I feel you pick an unsuitable song I will be requesting you change it :)
I would expect nothing less. Though I might fight you on the point that often times the character you have in your head and the character you portray to others aren't necessarily the same person. So far I've had no complaints from anyone but myself thought :p
 
I would expect nothing less. Though I might fight you on the point that often times the character you have in your head and the character you portray to others aren't necessarily the same person. So far I've had no complaints from anyone but myself thought :p
That's fair enough but I'm kinda picky about such things so just don't be too surprised if I'm not happy with your first choice, but hey anything else I'll be chill about :p
 
Hi! I started reading you guys' RP through @Nygenn and so far I love it!! I think my favorite characters so far are Jack and Delilah. The writing just seems to be getting better and better, great job! I'm gonna keep reading now! >3<
Might you be interested in joining us, Quintessa? I saw your post in The Region of Adanac and I must say, you have some potential. I found myself quite impressed by your sentence structure and wording, and frankly we need more female players in here. This is the last call before we close up shop, what do you say? :p
 
Interesting, does that mean you live in the general vicinity of Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and the western part of Indonesia? Either that of central Russia. :p

I live in South East Asia ^.^ However if I delved deeper into where I lived...I'd have to kill you >:D

Also, if @Quintessa is joining, @Jake Acker and I talked about having Knox and Jasper meet up with her character at some point (newbies unite!) so none of the new people have to be roleplaying by themselves. Is that alright?
 
Well it is not like I ever used it icly that way yet so no harm.
Yeah, no harm done. ^^ I was just a bit of a stickler.

I live in South East Asia ^.^ However if I delved deeper into where I lived...I'd have to kill you >:D

Also, if @Quintessa is joining, @Jake Acker and I talked about having Knox and Jasper meet up with her character at some point (newbies unite!) so none of the new people have to be roleplaying by themselves. Is that alright?
I think this would be perfectly fine, Mozza. Less encounters for Astral to write with the characters bunched together, and it's awesome that you guys will have each other to interact it. It gets dull without any interaction with others, really. Fun fact, I also live in SEA, and I'm still waiting for those edits. I can hunt you down. ;)

I'd love to join after reading the rest of the RP, if I'd be allowed.
You'd be glad to know that reading the entire roleplay is one of the criterias then. The others being creating a very detailed and in-depth profile for the character you're roleplaying as, the pokemon you will travel with, and its four moves. In your first post, we expect to see the activities of your character during the first day, how they arrived, what they did, and later, how they survived in the jungle on the first day, what pokemon they encountered (if any), and the character's nightmare. I saw you have great style in your writing already, but, make sure you can keep up with the length. Aside from that, you're golden. :p
 
@PentheWonderful @Nygenn


I think this would be perfectly fine, Mozza. Less encounters for Astral to write with the characters bunched together, and it's awesome that you guys will have each other to interact it. It gets dull without any interaction with others, really. Fun fact, I also live in SEA, and I'm still waiting for those edits. I can hunt you down. ;)

No need to hunt me down! I've edited my post, I hope that it's better although I still feel a bit iffy about it. Also it's pretty great knowing that there's someone else who lives in the best part of Asia here. 8)

(Also just wondering, how do we get those coin things because they look so cool)

P.S. Holy shit that was 2,683 word post, that's the second longest post that I've ever made for an RP
 
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Also just wondering, how do we get those coin things because they look so cool
I was secretly waiting for this comment. 8)

The answer is as soon as I can get my hands on good visual representation of your character. Since you decided to use an anime character for Jasper you should be pretty set. The other two will need to give me a bit more of description of their characters, or I need to get a better sense for them at least, and I'll choose something I deem appropriate much like the theme songs.

Glad to hear you like the coins though. It's always nice to have your toys appreciated. There's a link in my signature to the page where i'm keeping them online if you hadn't noticed that yet.

P.S. Holy shit that was 2,683 word post, that's the second longest post that I've ever made for an RP

We inspire greatness in others. 8)

I remember when Nova was timidly asking us how he could write longer and better entries, and no 3 posts later he's outdoing everyone. We really can't take any credit for it, since it's all his effort and enthusiasm, but I can't help but feel proud every time he posts. :p
-

That brings me to the final part of this post. If anyone is struggling with content or direction or how to have his character respond or what have you, feel free to ask. You can always ask here and probably expect multiple people to answer, or if you're okay with just my take on things feel free to start a conversation with me and I'll help you where I can.
 
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No need to hunt me down! I've edited my post, I hope that it's better although I still feel a bit iffy about it. Also it's pretty great knowing that there's someone else who lives in the best part of Asia here. 8)
Just made a post, shorter than usual im afraid as im on my phone but I tried my best given the circumstances!
Well, I've read through, and I'm so glad we let you in the roleplay, both of you. Bastille is just the most adorable creature splashing around in the water like that, and Jasper is just the best, all his dialogues are pure gold. This one especially is my favorite so far.
"Stupid, fucking flying vegetable."

Both your grammars and sentence structures are great, and your vocabulary is extensive. The punctuation in both posts are very good (perhaps still needs a little work on your end, Jake, you don't use your commas enough), and overall, I'm quite happy.

Jake, though your post was quite short in length, I thoroughly enjoyed all your little detailing of the scenery; how the gravel crunches beneath Bastille's feet, the sunlight through the leaves, that little memory of Unova, and the revelation of the burn. We really learn lots about both Knox and Bastille here, and I love that.

Mozza, I'm very impressed with the way you detailed the first day (laughed quite often actually), you kept very well to the flow, but am quite underwhelmed by the amount you wrote for the second, as by now everyone should be well into 10 AM, though we could just assume Jasper slept in. You're also quite privy to details I notice, and your writing style is very unique. I'm quite fond of it actually. No problems there.

So, perhaps after two more posts for quality check, I'll stop hounding you two.

(Also just wondering, how do we get those coin things because they look so cool)
Nygenn made them! :D Awesome, right? He's really spoiling us rotten here in DT, first giving our characters and character's pokemon their own theme songs, and then making us these coins. He'll probably make some for you too once he deems you worthy. ;)
 
Well, I've read through, and I'm so glad we let you in the roleplay, both of you. Bastille is just the most adorable creature splashing around in the water like that, and Jasper is just the best, all his dialogues are pure gold. This one especially is my favorite so far.


Both your grammars and sentence structures are great, and your vocabulary is extensive. The punctuation in both posts are very good (perhaps still needs a little work on your end, Jake, you don't use your commas enough), and overall, I'm quite happy.

Jake, though your post was quite short in length, I thoroughly enjoyed all your little detailing of the scenery; how the gravel crunches beneath Bastille's feet, the sunlight through the leaves, that little memory of Unova, and the revelation of the burn. We really learn lots about both Knox and Bastille here, and I love that.

Mozza, I'm very impressed with the way you detailed the first day (laughed quite often actually), you kept very well to the flow, but am quite underwhelmed by the amount you wrote for the second, as by now everyone should be well into 10 AM, though we could just assume Jasper slept in. You're also quite privy to details I notice, and your writing style is very unique. I'm quite fond of it actually. No problems there.

So, perhaps after two more posts for quality check, I'll stop hounding you two.


Nygenn made them! :D Awesome, right? He's really spoiling us rotten here in DT, first giving our characters and character's pokemon their own theme songs, and then making us these coins. He'll probably make some for you too once he deems you worthy. ;)
Thanks for the praise Pen, I will try increase my level of commas and keep the posts coming!
 
I was secretly waiting for this comment. 8)

The answer is as soon as I can get my hands on good visual representation of your character. Since you decided to use an anime character for Jasper you should be pretty set. The other two will need to give me a bit more of description of their characters, or I need to get a better sense for them at least, and I'll choose something I deem appropriate much like the theme songs.

Glad to hear you like the coins though. It's always nice to have your toys appreciated. There's a link in my signature to the page where i'm keeping them online if you hadn't noticed that yet.



We inspire greatness in others. 8)

I remember when Nova was timidly asking us how he could write longer and better entries, and no 3 posts later he's outdoing everyone. We really can't take any credit for it, since it's all his effort and enthusiasm, but I can't help but feel proud every time he posts. :p
-

That brings me to the final part of this post. If anyone is struggling with content or direction or how to have his character respond or what have you, feel free to ask. You can always ask here and probably expect multiple people to answer, or if you're okay with just my take on things feel free to start a conversation with me and I'll help you where I can.

Lowkey only joined this RP for the coins???? Haha but seriously, your coins are absolute fire.

Haha yeah, I'm surprised by how talented these RPers are and how fluid their writing is O.o

And I will definitely keep that in mind, thank you, all of you, for being such good critics! I'll definitely do my best to repay the favour :)

Well, I've read through, and I'm so glad we let you in the roleplay, both of you. Bastille is just the most adorable creature splashing around in the water like that, and Jasper is just the best, all his dialogues are pure gold. This one especially is my favorite so far.


Both your grammars and sentence structures are great, and your vocabulary is extensive. The punctuation in both posts are very good (perhaps still needs a little work on your end, Jake, you don't use your commas enough), and overall, I'm quite happy.

Jake, though your post was quite short in length, I thoroughly enjoyed all your little detailing of the scenery; how the gravel crunches beneath Bastille's feet, the sunlight through the leaves, that little memory of Unova, and the revelation of the burn. We really learn lots about both Knox and Bastille here, and I love that.

Mozza, I'm very impressed with the way you detailed the first day (laughed quite often actually), you kept very well to the flow, but am quite underwhelmed by the amount you wrote for the second, as by now everyone should be well into 10 AM, though we could just assume Jasper slept in. You're also quite privy to details I notice, and your writing style is very unique. I'm quite fond of it actually. No problems there.

So, perhaps after two more posts for quality check, I'll stop hounding you two.


Nygenn made them! :D Awesome, right? He's really spoiling us rotten here in DT, first giving our characters and character's pokemon their own theme songs, and then making us these coins. He'll probably make some for you too once he deems you worthy. ;)

Thanks Pen! I love playing sarcastic, bitter assholes, it's very therapeutic <.> And I was more or less going for my first post detailing the first day and my second day being detailed in the next post.

But I also have a question: while I'm portraying his vulgar, witty attitude well, am I also showing his vulnerability? One of the key components of Jasper is that he's multi-faceted: A sarcastic douche yet also a lonely orphan.

But I've definitely got to say that I'm loving this RP so far, it's such a big crowd and I'm revelling in it!!
 
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Jake Acker, good job on the edits that you made to your previous entries. They're marvelous additions to the story and you did a good job on the lure station environment. I especially likes the touch you added of the hand, suggesting some hapless trainer died there. I am satisfied, of course as I'm writing this I haven't actually read everything yet, so there's likely to be more comments soon enough.

I've got to say that I'm loving this RP so far.
It's a great story told by great writers, but if you're anything like me then the real reward is how it invites you to be a active participant in the events, and how it seems to push your writing to new heights.
 
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