King Bowser & Zed, The Golden Trillion vs a Rascally Rabbit(auto perms granted, co-written by Blue)
The turtle's thick scales had grown a resistance to heat after years of living around volcanoes and lakes of lava, but this fire was a little hotter than what he was used to, the Golden Trillion's power slightly singing his scales. However, if the toon expected that to stop the accelerated mass that was Bowser, he would need to enroll in a Physics class. The rabbit was luckily saved by its elastic nature. Bowser kicked the torch into Bugs's open mouth, forcing the rabbit to swallow it before sending him flying. Toon got up, dusted himself off, and noticed something different about himself. Since he swallowed the torch, his torso had elongated to match the stick's shape! The bunny inspected his new look, quipping,
"Well I'll be! Y'think I'm at least six foot now?"
As the rabbit spoke, a golden feather manifested behind him, cutting his joking short. Zed warped to it with a flash of light, Eclipse Solaire in hand, unleashing a flurry of radiant slashes in Bugs' direction, powerful heat emanating from the blade. It was clear the Golden Trillion was now fully focused on the Toon, having abandoned his earlier spot to aid in putting the pest down.
The toon glanced behind itself just in time to react, squishing down to a fraction of his height in opposition to his previously stretched stature, upchucking the stick in the process, and leaving that torch to the wrath of the Eclipse Solaire. Bugs then dove to the side and attempted to scamper off, but was cut off by King Koopa.
"Goin' somewhere?"
"Uh- heh- yeah, actually, I was just on my way to see my Aunt Judy. Now if you'll excu-"
The lagomorph was cut off by a scaly grasp crushing his throat. Bowser reared back, and then threw Bugs like a bowling ball. The toon crashed through a wall of some sort of derelict restaurant, followed by the Adept, and afterwards Bowser. The only light sources were a few windows and the large hole in the wall they just came in from.
"Delaying the inevitable, are we?"
The Adept held a hand out, manifesting a flock of blazing birds that flew wildly around the area, each one casting a golden light, aiming to expose the rabbit and force him out of hiding. with the appearance of the birds, Bugs poked his head out of a hole on the other side of the rooma, sporting a World War One helmet.
"Foist rule of trench warfare: stay da heck outta No Man's Land!"
Then he pulled an item from the rabbithole he sat in. A squirt gun, which he would start shooting down the birds with, not missing a chance to spray water at the Golden Trillion or King Koopa, either. Bowser got fed up with it after being blasted in the face, and spat a fireball at the toon. Bugs ducked into the ground, and after a moment of still, he popped out on another side of the room! "
I'm ova here!"
the rabbit taunted before digging back down immediately. He repeated this at random, offering a quip each time he appeared, and before long the restaurant had been scattered with holes! Then, Bugs popped up behind Bowser and tapped him on the shoulder. This successfully drew the brute's attention, but the hare was already gone, popping out on the other side of him, and snatching Dedede's hammer from Bowser's relaxed grip! The rascal would then pop out of his holes at random and smack whichever of the two was closest, like whack-a-mole in reverse.
The maneuver got one up on Bowser, who felt the sledgehammer connect with his jaw a couple times. The King's hammer also struck Zed once, the mallet slamming into his side, sending the Adept skidding along the ground. He managed to keep his guard up since, using his Eclipse Solaire to block the hammer when Bugs popped up again, though the rabbit proved slippery enough to avoid Zed's counterattack. The tunnels below gave him too many options.
"Force him out," he told Bowser, the Golden Trillion sending a stream of golden flames down one of the holes, much different from his usual refined attacks. Bowser flicked some blood from his lip using his thumb, turning to Zed. He nodded, and joined the Adept with his own breath-flames. This made the ground shake, before each and every tunnel in the restaurant erupted into a geyser of flame, blowing the roof off the joint! Along with it came a grey rabbit with a burnt bottom.
"YEE-OWZA!!"
The speedy Adept closed the distance in the blink of an eye, and though Bugs attempted to hide behind the oversized hammer, the Eclipse Solaire carved into the rabbit's side, sending him tumbling several feet away. When he came to a stop, he was sat upright, clutching his side in pain. He pulled away his gloved paws to look at the damage, and saw blood.
"Gee, that ain't television-friendly..."
With a grunt, the rabbit stood, heaving the sledgehammer over his shoulder, which nearly caused him to tip over.
"AWRIGHT, I didn't wanna have ta do dis, but you two knuckleheads forced my hand! We're gonna see what dis button does..."
The rabbit pushed a big red button on the hammer's handle, which Bowser swore wasn't there before. The front end of the hammer's head opened up, and a swarm of homing missiles were ejected, locked on Bowser and Zed! The latter was quick to react, burning wing extending in front of his body, though defense wasn't its main purpose.
"Wings of Death!"
A flock of golden birds, larger in quantity than the one from earlier, emerged from behind Zed, rushing in to intercept the missiles, the attacks cancelling each other out. There were still more missiles than there were birds, resulting in some slipping past---but those that managed to reach Zed had their damage mitigated by his wing. However, Zed didn't need to use the wing as his ally worked to intercept the missiles as well, eliminating the rest with a swath of fire breath.
"Aw, shucks."
Bowser leapt at the bunny and backhanded him down the street, forcing Bugs to drop the hammer, which he retrieved. Zed caught up to the rabbit in seconds, the toon laying on the ground, back against a wall, still getting his bearings after Bowser's strike. This would end here.
"An impressive effort," The Adept spoke, flame in is hand burning brighter. "but my partner and I have important matters to attend to. We'll have to make this quick."
Three royal blades manifested above Bugs, each one the size of his own body.
"Any last words?"
"I... I finally found out what's up, Doc..."
The rabbit pointed upwards, Zed following the gesture with his eyes, leading to him spotting a crate falling at terminal velocity. He narrowly dodged, though the shockwave blew the Adept back and pelted him with rubble. The dust cleared and the crate, stamped with big letters that spelled out ACME, cracked open, and inside was a single, wrinkled piece of paper. It had cursive writing on it, reading,
That's all, folks!
~Bugs
12
The resounding boom sounded once again as the number in the sky ticked down, once again. Bowser wasn't gonna be honest with anyone, but he felt like shit. He approached Zed, making sure his last ally hadn't been killed. But on his way, he felt something. He wouldn't know how to describe it if he tried, but he was suddenly drawn to a pile of rubble. He brushed away some of the debris, and found a gleaming red stone. It had a sort of power, alright, tugging on his dark thoughts to direct him that way. Bowser didn't know it, but this was the late Darth Vader's kyber crystal! It was diminished in power, but what stuck around called out to King Koopa.
The mutant turtle lifted the stone to look at it in the sunlight. Then he ate it. He immediately absorbed the abilities of the stone, much like an item from his home world, and the energy flowed through Bowser. It accelerated his healing to an almost regenerative level for a couple seconds, including his shell. He also felt more powerful, and with this new strength, he moved to Zed.
"I noticed the space wizard lost to the kid, did you at least handle the witch?"